166 words 
Ike is my shepherd. I shall live in want. He leadeth me beside still factories of the world. He restoreth my doubt in the Republican party.
He putteth bayonets in the backs of young school girls. He maketh them go to school with negroes against their wishes.
Yes, though I walk the breadlines daily, I am hungry. I fear evil cutteth my income, sure poverty and hardship shall follow me all the days of the Republican Administration, and I shall live in a rented house forever.
500 years ago Moses said, Pick up your shovel, mount your camels, lead your ass, and I will take you to the Promised Land.
500 years later F.D.R. said; Lay down your shovel, light up a Camel, and sit on your ass; this is the Promised Land.
Today, Ike sells your shovel and sends the money to foreign countries, taxes your camel, and for the same purpose kicks your ass and says: “There is no Promised Land unless you submit to integration.”
This parody of Psalm 23 was found in a Bible from the 1950s.
8 comments
Nice. It was surprising to me that it took so much time and effort to redpill good southern conservatives about F.D.Ike. He was as feeble and corrupt as Miley
American conservatives are a depressingly naive lot. They hailed Eisenhower as a “war hero” even as he stabbed them in the back. War Hero? If Ike was ever near enough to an actual battle to hear the artillery, it seems to have escaped history’s attention. Oh, he often toured the destruction when it was safely over, chauffeured through the ruins by his personal (ahem) assistant, Ms. Summersby. He was bestowed with the puffed-up title of “Supreme Allied Commander” for his willingness to be compliant, not for his competence or experience.
But compared to all subsequent presidents, Ike was great.
He was the last president who seriously enforced the immigration laws (Operation Wetback).
He was the last president who stood up to the Israel lobby. He refused to support Israel’s 1956 invasion of Egypt).
He was the last peace president. He ended the Korean war, refused to get dragged into Vietnam, and warned about the influence of the military-industrial complex.
He unapologetically praised Robert E. Lee as the greatest American hero.
He taxed the rich, paid down the deficit, and built the interstate highway system.
He admitted that appointing Earl Warren to the Supreme Court was his greatest mistake.
Ike enforced immigration because it would have been political suicide not to. He deserves no credit, whatsoever, for anything positive that happened during his term that he did not prevent.
Ike, more than anyone, abetted (((Soviet))) moles in our government. Ike was the decisive blow against McCarthy. He campaigned on getting to the bottom of the communist problem, then took office and said that he had gotten to the bottom, there were no moles, and McCarthy was a lying demagogue.
1st example in US history of “executive privilege” was Ike concealing evidence of Soviet moles, and he specifically ordered that no federal employees could cooperate with any efforts to expose soviet moles. He also lied about and smeared the citizens in Arkansas and literally invaded and forced the good people to accept blacks at gun point (the only invasion he ever actually commanded).
Ike at war did everything possible to get as many Americans (and European citizens) killed as possible… except that he didn’t actually make any decisions. His job was to put his name to orders that would prevent Germany’s defeat before the soviets were in position. There is absolutely nothing redeemable or even remotely impressive about any day in Ike’s
life. He was the commander of parade troops in DC, which put him in position to hobknob with politicians and signal his readiness to commit any despicable act asked of him so long as it lead to his own personal gain. As president I rate him lower than Obama, who he had a lot in common with
I worked 53 years as an office drone — receptionist, file clerk, clerk-typist, secretary, etc. — and neither political party ever stopped me from SAVING MY OWN MONEY. Stop blaming others for your own spendthrift ways — (gotta have that shiny red car to entire those girls, etc.) It’s never too late to start a bank account and watch your pennies grow,
However, if you want to buy me a nice shiny red new car, send it over.
I came across a similar poem that my grandmother had written, only the first line is the same. I don’t know if she came up with it or got it from somewhere else. It is her handwriting. I tried to Google it and came across your post.
Btw..I’m a Conservative Republican and this is fantastic.
Tribute to days of Ike (Eisenhower)
Ike is my Shepherd and I am in want, he make it me lie down on park benches.
He leadeth me beside few sorry houses.
He restoreth my doubts in the Republican Party. He leadeth me in the path of destruction for his party’s sake.
Yay I though I walk through his valley of starvation I do fear evil, for thou art against me, thou preparest a reduction in salaries for me; in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointed my income with taxes, my expenses run over my income surely unemployment and poverty will follow me all the days of the Republican party’s administration & I will dwell in a poor house forever.
Thank you for sharing this. We may have discovered a whole new genre of political parody from the 1950s.
Looks like it! 😁
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