Sometimes, There’s Just No Pleasing These SodomitesJim Goad
If one day I were to find myself in the improbable situation of being so well-heeled and immune to social ostracism that I convinced a Hollywood studio to produce a romantic comedy that was sympathetic to the KKK, you would find it incredibly undignified if I were to whine that no black people showed up in theaters to see it.
But that’s precisely how Billy Eichner is reacting to the fact that his new homo-positive romantic comedy Bros tanked at the box office during its debut last weekend.
Lest you snort and scoff at the idea that I’m drawing an analogy between homosexuals and the KKK, I’m not sure whether the Klan ever lynched a single homo for being a homo, but I’d bet the house and farm that gay sex kills more gay men every doggone year than the Klan ever could have hoped to have killed in the entire annals of Klannery.
To mangle the analogies even further, think of the Klan as white cops and gay victims of the Klan as George Floyd, then think of gay people en toto as the savage hordes of blacks who kill countless other blacks every year. Statistics clearly prove that the main group homos should be homophobic about are other homos.
Billy Eichner is an alleged comedian and purported filmmaker. He’s also gay and Jewish — which aren’t the reasons I don’t like him, although they’re not helping, especially since he pushes his gay identity so hard that he might as well have a rubber phallus welded into his forehead. He’s also stereotypically Jewish in that he seems to actively sneer at the vast swaths of this country that aren’t predominantly composed of snooty gay coastal Jews. I suspect that, more than any female who’s ever worked in Hollywood, Billy Eichner knows the precise answer to, “Who do you have to blow in this town to get a movie deal?”
He’s blaming “homophobic weirdos” and “certain parts of the country” for the demonstrable fact that hardly any homos in Greenwich Village or the Castro district went to see his dumb gay movie, either.
It never occurs to unlikable people that maybe the reason people don’t like them is that they’re unlikable. They’ll search for every other possible excuse except the obvious one.
There are women, and then there are the ones who act like cunts.
There are black people, and then there are the ones who act like . . . you know . . .
There are homosexuals, and then there are the ones who act like fags. Billy Eichner acts like a fag.
Bros cost $22 million to make. Universal Studios doled out another $30 million in promotion. When the film failed to bring in even $5 million on its opening weekend, Billy Eichner’s fragile heart was crushed. In an attempt to save face that only resulted in him giving himself a black eye, Eichner live-tweeted his vengeful agony:
Rolling Stone already has BROS on the list of the best comedies of the 21st century. What’s also true is that at one point a theater chain called Universal and said they were pulling the trailer because of the gay content. (Uni convinced them not to). America, fuck yeah, etc etc.
That’s just the world we live in, unfortunately. Even with glowing reviews, great Rotten Tomatoes scores, an A CinemaScore etc, straight people, especially in certain parts of the country, just didn’t show up for Bros. And that’s disappointing but it is what it is.
Everyone who ISN’T a homophobic weirdo should go see BROS tonight! You will have a blast! And it *is* special and uniquely powerful to see this particular story on a big screen, esp for queer folks who don’t get this opportunity often. I love this movie so much. GO BROS!!!
First off, when was the last time Rolling Stone was right about anything? Was it ever right about anything?
And which trailer for the film caused a solitary “theater chain” to complain? I’ve seen them both, and they’re both gay enough to give you monkeypox pustules on your eyeballs.
The “NSFW Trailer” for the lazily and enigmatically titled Bros debuted in May. In a little over two minutes, unsuspecting movie audiences were treated to a brief glimpse of a gay foursome, the phrase “getting butt-fucked by Jason Mamoa,” a scene where a fat dad mentions the “bottom dance” and his entire family — including toddlers — starts twerking, and the endlessly predictable potshots at “straight people.”
The film’s official trailer premiered in July. It has many of the same elements of the NSFW trailer but adds scenes of Bobby, Billy Eichner’s character, at the “world’s first” LGBTQ+ Museum, Bobby on a float at a Pride parade, insinuations that Abraham Lincoln was gay, and a slapping contest between Bobby and his gay jock crush that ends with them making out on a picnic blanket. It’s unclear how the official trailer is any less aggressively gay than the “NSFW” version. Both of them essentially grab you by the hair and dunk your head into an overflowing toilet bowl of gayness.
Both trailers reveal quite a lot about American gay culture in 2022. There’s all the shallowness. The vanity. The incurable cattiness. The reckless and possibly suicidal promiscuity. The endless contempt for the non-gay.
Regarding the non-gay, Eichner tweeted exactly how tolerant he is of them back in June:
GET YOUR FICTIONAL HATEFUL BIBLE STORIES AND YOUR FAKE FICTIONAL RELIGIOUS BULLSHIT OUT OF OUR FUCKING LIVES. FUCK YOU.
And after publicly popping a hemorrhoid like that, he has the gaydacity to wail that some people were turned off not only by his film’s subject matter, but by the filmmaker’s lousy personality?
What’s next? Getting scolded if you don’t order hot semen on your popcorn? How much affirmation do these people need? Exactly how insecure are they?
It’s like purposely rubbing someone’s nose in shit and then mocking them when they don’t like the smell.
All of the film’s marketing focused on how Bros was a progressive milestone, and how it was the first gay romantic comedy to be released by a major studio. Apparently marketing execs in Burbank envisioned a plumber in Topeka telling his wife, “Well, Madge, we went to see the first movie about Negro tennis players last week, so this week let’s saddle up and go see the first romantic comedy from a major studio to feature fruitcakes in the lead roles.”
Since the dawn of the millennium, I have forked out my own money to pay for a ticket to a grand total of one Hollywood movie, and that was The Wrestler in 2008. I probably paid about $10 for the ticket. That is all of the money Hollywood has been able to pry from me and likely will ever get from me. I freely admit to being intensely Hollywoodophobic. They’ve been churning out plastic, rehashed, formulaic garbage since the 1970s. I don’t even need to address the endless Leftist propaganda that increasingly infests these celluloid abominations. Regardless of the political message, Hollywood abandoned any pretense of quality a long time ago, and its decline has precisely mirrored America’s overall decline.
So whenever anyone blames a film’s financial failure on racism, sexism, xenophobia, transphobia, or any of life’s great pleasures that they’re now denying us, I plead guilty. Blame me, me, and only me whenever a Hollywood film fails.
Regarding romantic comedies — someone shoot me in the head if I ever unironically use the word “rom-com” — aren’t they gay enough without adding the homosexual element? Has a heterosexual man ever willingly attended a romantic comedy with a female partner without at least some level of coercion on the woman’s part? The entire scenario is implicitly gay, so adding fisting and poppers and cock rings and cocaine enemas is severely over-gaying things.
I am highly amused at the idea of Billy Eichner being emotionally devastated that his film was a flop. If he contemplated self-harm, I would probably find that funnier than anything in his movie.
Despite the abject failure of Bros, Eichner is already busy milking his gay prostate gland for whatever it’s worth. He’s working with the openly gay Paul Rudnick on a movie, tentatively titled Ex-Husbands, about two bickering gay men who are getting divorced.
But what makes me hate Billy Eichner more than everything else I’ve already told you about Billy Eichner is the fact that he has signed a deal to do a biopic about comedic genius Paul Lynde. Even worse, Eichner is slated to play Paul Lynde, which is probably an even more egregious case of miscasting than Will Smith as Muhammad Ali.
Paul Lynde: Now there was a fag who everyone knew was a fag back when no celebrity in America openly admitted to being a fag, and yet, just as with Charles Nelson Reilly, everyone loved him either way because he was a tremendously funny fag. He didn’t hide the fact that he was a fag — how could he? — but he didn’t over-gay it, either.
He didn’t hide his lack of talent behind his faggotry.
Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, and, hey, what the hell — even Liberace. These were some solid fags with real talent who knew where the line was drawn and not to overstep it. And even the “homophobic weirdos” out in flyover country loved them for it.
These militantly unfunny neo-gays have it all ass-backwards.
* * *
Like all journals of dissident ideas, Counter-Currents depends on the support of readers like you. Help us compete with the censors of the Left and the violent accelerationists of the Right with a donation today. (The easiest way to help is with an e-check donation. All you need is your checkbook.)
For other ways to donate, click here.
Paul Lynde was hilarious. Another fellow Ohioan. I’ve read that he wasn’t very fond of Jews. Yet a Jew will play him..
search YT for Gilbert Gottfrieds hilarious Lynde impression. he does it on Stern and his own podcast, even with the a.s. stuff
Was there a more unfunny Jew than Gilbert Gottfried?? Possibly David Brenner but it’s close.
I challenge you go watch those paul lynde clips or his roast of George Takei , you will rethink that statement
Howard Stern hates White Christians. I wouldn’t waste five seconds of my short life listening to him or his show.
I give up with you clowns. Listen, my old Aunty C. Myte is my favorite family member. But sometimes, funny is funny and props must be given.
Tricks that a homo-erotic male uses to obtain his orgasm from the body of another male are aesthetically repugnant to me at the very curl of my DNA – or the “root of my soul.”
I’m kind of amazed this article is allowed to still be published here because it kind of contradicts the pro-Ukraine stuff.
This is your brain on low-IQ Russia memes.
In fact we should be thankful to Putin for his extraordinary efforts. Now it’s clear who is who. From Amnesty International, environmentalist lobby to Roger Waters.
You know, Putin hired even the disgusting Strauss-Kahn. Can you believe that? Strauss-Kahn working for Rosneft.
Former Romanian president Basescu started to spill the beans in the European Parliament naming former ministers and prime-ministers that now are working for Putin. They had to cut the mike.
The response was an undeserved attack against Romanian people coming from two AfD MPs.
It’s comical by now.
Anyway, I wanted to ask Trevor if he had seen “Traitors” on Netflix. Beyond some PC rubbish, there are some interesting things there.
Have not seen it.
What to say. Many good things there and the actors are British. I mean brilliant.
I’m kind of amazed that some people are so obsessed with gay sex that they think World War III is going to break out over gay sex, only gay sex, and nothing but gay sex. Do you types EVER think of having sex with women, or is it nonstop cock around the clock? Pull all those penises out of your brain, fella.
That’s the exact reason I hardly ever check out Anglin’s site anymore. That, and the “all women are whores who deserve to die” bullshit.
I’m now even more amazed that you pulled all of this out of my pithy comment. The ‘straight’ man doth protest too much methinks.
Up until I was smacked across the face with the trailer to this abortion, I had no idea who Billy Eichner was. Then I saw a clip of him berating a young black woman on the street in his over dramatic queen personality and thought “who WOULDN’T want to see a movie about rim jobs and fisting parties with this guy?”
What he fails to understand is that the vast majority of every type of person is turned off by his brand of hyper sexualized gayness, even most gay men. Two of my favorite film makers, John Waters and Paul Bartel(Death Race 2000, Eating Raoul, Lust In The Dust) are gayer than AIDS. But they are FUNNY. I have no problem watching a 300 pound drag queen named Divine because he was FUNNY. They are(or in the case of Paul and Divine were) comfortable with their lifestyle so they don’t need to best you over the head with it.
Has Rotten Tomatoes not been unmasked as the fraudulent nonsense it is? Or did I just hope that?
Rotten Tomatoes would not allow any negative reviews of the marvel “black panther” movie when it came out. I don’t know if it still has that policy toward the movie, but that should give you an indication of what kind of website it is.
Hollywood always lies. No, Rings of Power does not have the “first black hobbit.” And the “first gay rom com” was Bringing Up Baby (Cary Grant, Katherine Hepburn, 1938)
“First off, when was the last time Rolling Stone was right about anything? Was it ever right about anything?”
No. And Jann Wenner is a homo.
Don’t forget about the University of Virginia rape hoax article.
I haven’t. It’s always rang false to me, thinly-veiled agendas. Kind of like 99999.9% of the “media.” Wenner is skeevy. Kurt Loder? Yech.
With the near constant media adulation of anything queer, it’s easy to see how producers might get overconfident that they might have a gay smash hit on their hands. But as Jared Taylor has said no need to be totally anti-gay when it is only a few loudmouths who are the real pains in the ass (also true of women, Jews and white people in general). We have had mainstream gay films since at least Philadelphia and Gus Van Sant and below the surface stuff since at least Kenneth Anger and “gayish” stuff from time immemorial (homoeroticism of westerns and as Goad suggests, RomComs). While I haven’t seen the film, the trailer and Eichners unfunny whiny tweets don’t exactly scream laugh talent. If you flip through the pages of this very right wing website, it seems there is plenty of love for any number of artists, writers, filmmakers, etc who have been LGB A to Z. The love and respect has always been there, we just resent when some try and ram it down our throats. We just want some hand holding and for someone to make us laugh.
Kenneth Anger’s films are incredible. Even the gayest ones like Fireworks, Scorpio Rising and Kustom Kar Kommandos. Light years ahead of his time.
Well I suspect Kenneth Anger never gave a shit about whether people liked what he did then or now. I respect him more than I enjoy him. He was certainly not a Hollywood conformist, and even if ‘Hollywood Babylon’ is reputed to be semi-fictional, he certainly wasn’t kissing ass to the moguls. Compare to the modern ‘in your face’ leftist gay lobby, demanding to be loved. How often do we befriend or pair up with someone demanding our adoration? If ‘Bros’ is disappointed that the midwest and bible belt aren’t ready to ’embrace’, hissy fits and tantrums probably aren’t going to bully them into moments of ‘Aw shucks, ain’t that booty dance fun!’ But the street runs both ways and we ought choose our own battles carefully.
Kenneth Anger has always refused the “gay” label. See f. e. this interview from 1980:
Today, his films are of course boxed under the dreadful “LGBT” umbrella.
This is what an evisceration looks like.
Holy shit; I almost feel sorry for the poor guy after getting the Goad treatment.
I honestly don’t think the nice White people laughed at/with the Lynd’s, Reilly’s and Liberace’s gave much thought to those men’s sexualities.
“I honestly don’t think the nice White people laughed at/with the Lynd’s, Reilly’s and Liberace’s gave much thought to those men’s sexualities.”
Isn’t that the “problem” Eichner is trying to “solve”?
“In a little over two minutes, unsuspecting movie audiences were treated to a brief glimpse of a gay foursome, the phrase “getting butt-fucked by Jason Mamoa,” a scene where a fat dad mentions the “bottom dance” and his entire family — including toddlers — starts twerking…”
It seems like the degenerate community WANT us all to think about their sexuality and what they do. They would like to involve every man, woman, and child in their perverted lifestyles and pretend like a gay orgy is as normal and healthy as inviting the family over for a Saturday barbecue.
I was talking about the past. Lynd et al were seen by homosexuals as homosexual but most of the heterosexual audience did not really think about what their flamboyant mannerisms implied about their sexuality.
I agree with you.
People in those days didn’t think about the sexual orientation of TV personalities because our culture had not yet been perverted. But consider that those people who put the gay TV stars in front of a national audience knew exactly what they were doing. To make a radical change to a culture you have to start with something that is just one step outside the norm, then just keep moving in that radical direction. The psychologists call it “shaping”.
Accepting of degenerate lifestyles is just one radical change our new overlords have forced upon our White Christian culture. The ultimate goal is and was to wipe us off the face of the Earth.
A gay reviewer makes some interesting points on why the movie blows from a gay perspective, as well as the perspective of people who like things that don’t suck. Even his tweets are lousy. He evinces nothing but contempt and prejudice and doesn’t do it very well. He said, “It is what it is,” always an indicator of someone in possession of a rapier-like wit.
“…“It is what it is,” always an indicator of someone in possession of a rapier-like wit.”
Yo, sh!t happens!
I don’t mind “it is what it is” if it refers to an accurate immutable fact, especially when followed by useful ideas about how to make things work well given that fact.
It always seemed to me like it was stating the obvious.
Is there anything that is what it isn’t?
How do you feel about “shit happens“? I’m of two minds about that phrase.
On the one hand, it too is stating the obvious. But it seems like the kind of phrase Shakespeare, if he were ever crass, might have tucked into a play like Hamlet.
Instead of, “To be or not to be….[and etc].” Hamlet might have said, “Shit happens.”
There it is. Much more concise and to the point.
Or maybe Hamlet would say, “It is what it is. Shit happens.” Genius.
There are immutable facts that people deny, and I think it’s useful to point this out. For example, people can complain all day that mankind is inherently selfish (to varying degrees, of course), but it is what it is, so it’s better to design a society that harnesses the selfishness appropriately, rather than wish people would stop being selfish.
Arguably the most successful KKK-sympathetic film ever produced by Hollywood, Birth of a Nation, helped alter the political course of the country for decades. Americans, reeling from the mass importation of eastern European replacement workers beginning in the gay 90’s, were more than willing to watch a film and jump onto a movement that had their better interests in mind.
Billy Eichner’s film on the other hand seems like a movie looking for an audience. Who would even want to see it besides the monkey pox crowd? From what you’ve described of the movie in this article, would lesbians even want to see it? I would guess that hetero women, the bulk of the rom-com consumer market, would be disgusted by it’s contents and so would not coerce their men into taking them to see it.
As far as the “talented fags” of 1960’s and 70’s TV, they were a further step towards a self-destructive degenerate American sexual ethic. Get the masses familiar with and accepting of the lisping fruitcakes to reorient Americas conservative sexual norms towards a more debased perverted culture. Viewed through that lense they really weren’t so funny.
Wanted to just jump in here and say this is one of Goad’s most spot-on articles in terms of Paul Lynde and Charles Nelson Reilly.
I came up as a child, just a little younger than Goad, watching both these men doing their TV shows, comedy routines, and celebrity game show appearances, knowing darn well they were gay, “fruitcakes” as my grandfather would have said, but I never heard my father scream, “turn that gay shit off” or anything “homophobic.”
People really just didn’t pay much attention to it, and even got their laughs without being mean spirited.
This is because those gay comedians respected a boundary. They didn’t shove their gay penises down your straight throat.
I have no doubt that if Lynde were alive today. He’d proudly sit atop a “pride parade” float as the grand Marshall or whatever. But back then, he operated under the most “tolerant” of social norms. The kind where everyone just keeps their personal business to their damn selves lol
I didn’t know Lynde or Reilly were homosexuals until long after they died. I didn’t think either one was that funny either. Thing is, there was a time when an effeminate man would be married with three kids, it didn’t mean he was hanging out in public restrooms looking for love. Just being a little light in the loafers meant he was soft, not a sexual degenerate. Now our declining society is pushing this behavior on soft kids and pretending it’s normal. There was a reason those two comedians never stepped out of the closet, if they had, your father or grandfather would’ve never let their kids watch them again. That’s because your grandparents were smarter and stronger than you.
One would think that Mr Eichner’s contempt for Scripture and Divine Law(*) poses an acute problem for observant Jews and Muslims, not merely the evangelical Christians for whom he (along with the entire liberal media) evidently has such disdain? Is it not strange that this aspect of modern antinomian behaviour is so little discussed, when in all other matters the sensibilities of those ‘communities’ are held to be so delicate?
(*) To be clear: I hold nothing against the love between men (or between women) which is a part of nature, and will not chide some of our greatest minds, from Plato onwards, on that account. I do find the modern ‘gay pride’ culture shrill, degenerate and the opposite of ‘Platonic’.
“He didn’t hide his lack of talent behind his faggotry.
Paul Lynde, Charles Nelson Reilly, and, hey, what the hell — even Liberace. These were some solid fags with real talent who knew where the line was drawn and not to overstep it. And even the “homophobic weirdos” out in flyover country loved them for it.
These militantly unfunny neo-gays have it all ass-backwards.”
Nailed it. Very well put. That is exactly why I usually dislike queer comedians these days. Their whole act revolves around their queerness, instead of their queerness being a humorous addition to otherwise solid humor.
There are reports Rolling Stone was right about something in 1971, but the rumour is still to be confirmed.
That’s a vicious rumor. You read it in Rolling Stone.
These two trailers are enormously repulsive and unfunny. If you aren’t “homophobic” by now, Eichner’s movie surely will help.
I’m not homophobic, just transphobic. The latter are the scary ones like Blubbertits McGee up there in Canada. Whinging pests like eichner and randy rainbow are just insufferable, pathetic, and boring.
Derbyshire makes an interesting observation that the word ‘homophobe’ really means people who have similar fears, e.g. if you and I are afraid of spiders, we’re homophobes (in addition to being arachnophobes).
His other interesting observation is that while a majority has a duty to protect minorities in its midst, those same minorities have a reciprocal obligation to respect the mores of the majority. The alphabet gang today doesn’t do this, rather they rub everybody’s nose in their in their lifestyle.
Oldie but a goodie: Liberace was great on the piano, but he sucked on the organ.
Oh no you dih-int, La-Z-Man.
We turned a corner gay public relations-wise in the 90’s when it came to light -on the cover of Rolling Stone, no less- that Melissa Etheridge and her personmate used David Crosby’s demon-seed to spawn their children. This was presented as the gay Ozzie And Harriet but neither David nor Ricky OD’d at 21 as one of their poor kids did in this “modern” family. David Crosby? Did they ever hear Almost Cut My Hair?
The other 90’s gay media blitz was Ellen De Generes. However, Anne Heche was a looney tune and, like Etheridge’s partner, she “quit” being gay. So much for equating gayness with blackness on the civil rights front. They don’t get to choose whether or not they want to be black today or not. She just died from a weird car wreck which only miraculously didn’t kill or harm anyone else.
Also in the 90’s on Politically Incorrect they were talking about a group going into schools to proselytize for gayness to kids as young as six, saying things like, “Did you know Elton John was gay?” Shouldn’t they have said, “Did you know Elton John was gay this week?” He married a woman in his 40’s or 50’s. So, well into middle age he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going sexually but let’s drop this shit on six-year-olds who should be playing. Apparently it’s off the charts now with sex changes for toddlers and Drag Queen Storytime. Get outta here.
As this Eichner revealed, it’s just about narcissism and personal insecurities with a heaping helping of disdain for your fellow man.
How does David Crosby not make your skin crawl?
Ellen tried to use the lesbian card when her show was cancelled due to low ratings.
But it was also hugely successful at one point. Doesn’t that mean those dastardly “homophobes” (a word invented solely to demonize others) were tuning in?
It’s funny, in the movie Cemetery Junction (a Ricky Gervais picture which I highly recommend), set in 1971 or so, one of the protagonists complains about a ‘poofter’ song and switches the radio to the macho ‘Saturday Night’s All Right For Fighting’. This was of course before Reginald Dwight ‘came out’.
So, just out of interest, does anyone know how many people (of any sexual orientation) the KKK has killed?
I ask because I see numerous American websites describing this organisation as a terrorist group. I found a publication put out by the SPLC that names 14 victims, but surely that can’t be all..?
By way of comparison to other ‘terrorist’ groups, the PLO and associated Palestinian gangs seem to have killed over 2,800 Israelis since the early 90’s alone. The Provisional IRA murdered around 1,700 people in its 25 years of action, with its opposite number, the UDA, chalking up about 400.
If the Klan has murdered 14 people in its 150 (?) year history, it must rank as one of history’s most benign terrorist organisations.
The Tuskegee Institute lists 3,446 lynchings of blacks (and 1,297 of whites) from 1882-1968. It doesn’t say how many were performed by the Klan.
It also doesn’t say how many of the lynchings were “justified” rather than the stereotypical “wrong Negro at the wrong place at the wrong time” types.
“He’s also gay and Jewish — which aren’t the reasons I don’t like him, although they’re not helping”
Jim Goad is the funniest writer alive.
Comments are closed.
If you have Paywall access,
simply login first to see your comment auto-approved.
Note on comments privacy & moderation
Your email is never published nor shared.
Comments are moderated. If you don't see your comment, please be patient. If approved, it will appear here soon. Do not post your comment a second time.
Edit your comment