Norwegian Metalhead Who Murdered Another Norwegian Metalhead in 1993 Tweets about What Lord of the Rings Would Look Like in 2022
The very fact that he was born Kristian Vikernes, performed as Count Grishnackh, is best known to the world as Varg Vikernes, and now has the legal name Louis Cachet is all you need to know that the subject of my opening segment is a musician, and everyone who’s not a musician knows that musicians are the flakiest people on Earth.
In August 1993 at age 20, after earning his bones as one of the leading lights of Norwegian “black metal” with his musical project Burzum, Vikernes gained international notoriety and mucho scene cred for stabbing to death another Norse black metallurgist who went by the goofy handle of Euronymous, AKA Øystein Aarseth, guitarist for the band Mayhem.
Vikernes was not the first musician from that tiny, frozen scene to become a murderer; that honor goes to Bård Guldvik Eithun, AKA Faust, drummer of Norwegian black metal band Emperor, who stabbed someone to death in a public park in August 1992 after the man allegedly made a sexual advance on him. Partially because Faust only stabbed an anonymous homosexual groper to death rather than a competing musician, he didn’t get nearly as much attention. Vikernes also gained the PR advantage over Faust for allegedly burning down several Christian churches in Norway in retaliation for Christianity’s forcible erasure of indigenous pagan cultures. He was also caught with a buttload of explosives, which didn’t help his case.
Vikernes would be released after 15 years in prison, during which time he’d continued making music and branched out as a writer and ersatz philosopher. He never renounced any of his more “extreme” views — which include the restoration of a “pre-industrial European pagan society” that opposes capitalism, socialism, materialism, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam — apart from the corny satanic stylistic trappings that were endemic to the metal scene lo, those three decades ago and counting. Vikernes is so “extreme” that when Norwegian mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik, who killed 77 people one July day in 2011, cited him as an inspiration, Vikernes brushed off the praise and accused Breivik of being a shameless Jew-puppet.
One of the most fascinating things about killers isn’t necessarily that they kill, but also that they get hung up on the same trivialities that non-killers do. Killers can be as vain and petty as anyone else — many of them probably have a favorite flavor of donut and a favorite reality-TV star — which is why I think it’s both adorable and chilling that Vikernes’s name trended this week on Twitter after he posted a couple of tweets bemoaning what woke culture has done to Lord of the Rings mythology:
Reminder that if “The Lord of the Rings” films had been made today Aragorn would have been a woman (but Arwen still a she-Elf), Frodo & Sam would have been gay, Gandalf black & the only white male actors in the entire cast would have been Denethor, Gríma & Saruman.
The common claim that Sam & Frodo are “gay” is proof that most people today don’t know what true friendship is. Their corrupt, broken & perverse minds twist & darken everything — especially what is innocent, honest & pure. Begone, foul Orcs!
These would be sweet, wholesome, and wry comments from anyone, much less a man who burned down churches and stabbed another man 37 times. If one strains hard enough, one can find humanity in the oddest places. Then again, the same goes for inhumanity.
Why Did Hordes of White Houston Cops Surround the Home of George Floyd’s Four-Year-Old Niece And Spray it With Bullets?
As everyone knows, when convicted felon George Floyd, high as the Creature From the Black Lagoon on fentanyl, bought a banana with a counterfeit bill and then resisted arrest while screaming for his mammy, America was torn from the inside-out as rascals and ne’er-do-wells from coast to coast used it as an excuse to riot and burn and pillage and rape and deflect notice from black crime statistics and any other possible reasons for black underperformance besides “racism.”
And yet, with all the progress we’ve made as a nation — I’m shaking my damn head as I type this — there is clearly much more work to be done.
Arianna Delane is the tiny little four-year-old niece of the slain banana-slinger George Floyd. She was often used as a heart-tugging prop during the endless George Floyd riots of 2020. But while she was peacefully asleep in her Houston home at 3 AM on New Year’s Day, a battalion of racist white cops surrounded her house and began spraying lead, puncturing Arianna’s lung and liver as well as breaking three of her itty-bitty black-girl ribs, but not killing her.
Houston police, even though they are led by a token black man named Troy Finner, “say” they “don’t know” whether there were one or more shooters. They also “claim” that they have no suspects at the time, which is exactly what you’d expect a guilty group of sociopaths to say. They even “insist” that they can’t “figure out” the motive.
As if that wasn’t enough proof that white cops purposely tried to murder Li’l Arianna, they allegedly waited four hours for her to bleed out before showing up to investigate.
“Why would my house get shot up?” asked her befuddled, bewildered, exasperated, hornswoggled, and boondoggled father, Derrick Delane. “I can’t explain that to her.”
Hold my beer — I’ll explain it. Your house was shot up because you probably live in a black neighborhood, and everyone knows that black neighborhoods are dangerous because that’s where all the white cops hang out.
Ahmaud Arbery’s Mom Writes Her Dead Son a Tear-Jerking Letter Wishing He’d Cleaned & Trimmed His Toenails Before Being Killed
On Friday, the Three Stooges of Southern Georgia — Travis McMichael, his father Gregory, and their dopey-looking neighbor William Roddie Bryan — were all sentenced for “murdering” scowling black criminal Ahmaud Arbery, even though Travis was the only one who shot him, and only after Arbery attacked him and attempted to grab his gun. They all received life in prison, although Bryan has a chance of paroling in 30 years, at which point he will be 82, assuming he hasn’t already been murdered by black inmates. Knowing what I do about the case, I don’t think any of the three should have been convicted of murder, but they did not present well in court even though they’d all had nearly a year to lose weight in jail before trial.
The news accounts about the sentencing all seemed to repeat the same already disproved lies such as the idea that Arbery was only out for a simple jog on that day and that he was clearly killed because he was a black man in a white neighborhood, although it’s statistically safer for a black man to be in a white neighborhood than in a black one, yabba dabba doo. After the Three White Stooges were sentenced to life, they were shackled — two of them handcuffed and with Travis McMichael also bound in old-school leg irons — and paraded outside the courthouse in front of rifle-wielding members of the New Black Panther Party who were shouting, chanting, and doing the sort of rhythmic line dances for which their people are so well-known. Optically, it was a stark reversal of America’s Golden Era, when chanting white men stood with guns while blacks were taken away in chains.
Wanda Cooper-Jones is Arbery’s mother, which is confusing at first because she apparently has two surnames, neither of which is “Arbery,” but as we’ve often been reminded by our betters, sometimes it takes a village to raise a child. After the sentencing, she shared with the public a letter she’d written about the life and death of her son, who, in all fairness, was unable to hear her read it:
My young son, he was born on Mothers’ Day of 1994. . . . He was messy. He sometimes refused to wear socks. . . . I wish he would have cut and cleaned his toenails before he went out for his jog that day. I guess he would have if he knew he would be murdered. . . . My family is going to miss Ahmaud, his jokes, impersonations, his warm smile.
We’ve all seen his warm smile. It’s almost as if the establishment press will only use that picture because they don’t want you to see this one or this one. To help me get over the heartbreak, does anyone have footage of Ahmaud Arbery telling jokes or doing impersonations? Am I wrong in suspecting that he did a killer impression of Carol Channing?
After Inventing the Art of Climbing Trees, Blacks Attempt to Climb the World’s Tallest & Most Racist Mountain
The Great Black Purge of the lower primates in sub-Saharan Africa is analogous to the centuries-long Christian purge of pagans in Europe. Not only did it leave the continent more civilized, it also opened up its trees to habitation by lice-ridden human beings rather than lice-ridden chimps and lemurs. After the blood had dried and the dust had settled, Africans developed a reputation as some of the world’s most accomplished tree-climbers.
Unfortunately, due to pesky bugaboos such as “colonial history” and Mount Everest’s “intentional lack of access for black people,” of the over 10,000 people who have ascended to the summit of the highest mountaintop on Earth since Sir Edmund Hillary and his trusty Sherpa guide scaled it back in 1953, a mere eight Negroes have planted their feet atop that 29,000-foot-high mound of snowy whiteness.
A team of nine blacks calling themselves the “Full Circle Everest Expedition” now seek to make a name for themselves by being, according to climbing leader Fred Campbell, “the first all-black-and-brown expedition to the highest place on Earth.”
Rosemary Saal, a freckly mulatto who is by far the most light-skinned member of the team and is probably the sole reason that Fred Campbell even bothered to also include the word “brown,” claims, without citing a single source, that “There’s been an intentional lack of access for black people” on Mount Everest. “When [Sir Edmund] Hillary first summited [Everest], black people couldn’t even vote in this country.”
I’m not one to nitpick, but I’m pretty sure that they still don’t allow black people to vote in Nepal.
Manoah Ainuu, another member of the team, said that “Historically, black and brown people haven’t been in these areas and environments, especially not on the highest point of the world. . . . So we think this is an opportunity to be first in a lot of ways.”
As I’ve already noted, eight other blacks have already beat them to the top of Everest. But I have a “first” to suggest to black people: How about being the first black person in world history to go for a week without mentioning that you’re black?
Joy Reid & Don Lemon: Black Broadcasters Gittin’ Uppity!
Don Lemon is a gay black man who is married to a white man whose apparent kink is endlessly being hectored (and possibly spanked) about his unearned white privilege. As an anchor for CNN, Lemon is paid handsomely to say a lot of stupid things about race to a mostly white audience that enjoys being scolded. America is such a racist and homophobic country that it has allowed Lemon to accrue a net worth of $12 million merely for being a more effeminate version of some down-and-out light-skinned black actor touring Pennsylvania Dutch Country playing the lead role in The Sam Cooke Story at dinner theaters.
At midnight on New Year’s Eve, as Lemon was getting gayer and drunker by the moment, he spat out that he has a lot of “haters” but doesn’t really care:
I don’t give a [pause] what you think about me, what do you think about that. I am who I am. I’m a grown, successful black man who a lot of people hate because they’re not used to people seeing me — and people like me — in the position that I am. To be able to share what I . . . my point of view on television, it freaks people out. And you know what? You can kiss my behind. I do not care. . . . I don’t care. I really don’t care. . . . So all the hate I get? It’s motivation to me. Bring it, I don’t care.”
The first sign of someone who doesn’t care is someone who repeatedly tells you they don’t care, even though you never asked them if they care.
Over at MSNBC, Joy Reid — who always looks as if she’s smelling her own farts — realized that it doesn’t make much sense to say that Republicans hate Joe Biden because he’s black, because the stark truth is that he’s not black. Instead, she speculated last Wednesday that it’s because, as Vice President to the Grand Imperial First Mulatto Closeted Bisexual President in American History Barack Hussein Obama, he played a submissive role to a black man:
Because unbelievably, [Biden] has become for Republicans as much of a sort of figure of hatred, a hate object, as President Obama was. You know, the Black [sic] president. Like, he was his vice president, maybe that’s part of it. I don’t know what it is. . . . But this is the like the most sort of norm, core Democrat ever. He’s a moderate, you know, sort of ordinary Democrat. There’s nothing outrageous about him, but they have cast him as some sort of demonic character.
We will never see true progress in this country until the day when black people realize that although we may hate them intensely, it’s not necessarily because they’re black.
Why It’s Important for All of Us to Understand What the Hell This Indian Woman is Talking About in Her Dumb Article on Intersectionality & Menstruation
Aarushi Gupta is a dot-not-feather woman who lives in Delhi and describes herself as a “menstrual health activist and writer,” which leads one to wonder what would make a woman want to spend her adult life sloshing around in stanky period blood.
She wrote an article in mid-December called “Why Is It Essential To Have An Intersectional Understanding Of Menstruation?” that touted the virtues of “sustainable menstruation” and “menstrual equity” and bemoaned the plight of “underprivileged menstruators.” Apparently the main problem isn’t that biological women, for most of their adult lives, must bleed five days a month without dying; it’s that primitive yokels with the hearts of crustaceans still can’t accept that men have periods, too:
The recently administered National Health Family Survey (NFHS-5) that extensively covered the usage of menstrual products among menstruators across states in India made a fatal mistake: it limited its research on menstruators solely to women and made no distinctions between the experiences of women with disabilities and those without disabilities. . . . This lack of an intersectional understanding of menstruation, particularly sustainable menstruation, is a conscious attempt at furthering a narrative on menstruation that is ableist, transphobic, biologically essentialist and a watered down generalization of the myriad of factors and circumstances (both internal and external) that cement one’s experience and relationship with menstruation.
Gupta then details the many sorrows of “menstruators with disabilities” and laments that men who pretend they’re women must live with the constant fear of “violent transphobic reactions” from others if they try to change their fake bloody girl-diapers in public restrooms.
Today I learned that “those using wheelchairs find wearing disposable pads difficult as they have to be changed within 4-5 hours and the pad might move if they shift in the chair” and that “those who cannot feel sensation from waist below might not be able to detect when their pad has moved and if they have stained or not,” and for the time being, I see no possible way of unlearning these things, no matter how I try.
California Tech Titan on COVID: Blame the Jews
Until last week, Dave Bateman had been one of the Big Dogs of Utah’s tech industry. He was the co-founder of Entrata, a software company with a net value estimated at $1 billion as of 2021. But Tuesday morning, he scampered right out onto the railroad tracks barefoot and dared to touch his toes on the Third Rail. He sent out a mass email to tech executives that read, in part:
I write this email knowing that many of you will think I’m crazy after reading it. I believe there is a sadistic effort underway to euthanize the American people. It’s obvious now. It’s undeniable, yet no one is doing anything. Everyone is discounting their own judgment and dismissing their intuition. . . . I believe the Jews are behind this. . . . For 300 years the Jews have been trying to infiltrate the Catholic Church and place a Jew covertly at the top. It happened in 2013 with Pope Francis. I believe the pandemic and systematic extermination of billions of people will lead to an effort to consolidate all the countries in the world under a single flag with totalitarian rule. . . . I know, it sounds bonkers. No one is reporting on it, but the Hasidic Jews in the US instituted a law for their people that they are not to be vaccinated for any reason.
Proving that it’s both absurd and evil to imply that Jews hold anywhere near the kind of power that would enable them to pull off a stunt like that, nearly everyone who was anyone in Utah’s tech industry and government quickly condemned Bateman.
“To be absolutely clear, we at Entrata firmly condemn antisemitism in any and all forms,” wrote Entrata CEO Adam Edmunds.
“We love and support our Jewish brothers and sisters, and know that our industry and our state is better because of their work,” wrote Elizabeth Converse, Executive Director of a Utah tech industry non-profit.
Utah Gov. Spencer Cox said on Twitter that Batemen’s comments were “hurtfully anti-Semitic, blatantly false, and we completely reject them.”
Utah Democratic Party Communications Director Ben Anderson said, “This rhetoric perpetuates harmful stereotypes about Jewish people and puts Utah’s Jewish community in danger. . . . We stand with the Jewish community in disavowing his comments.”
Responding to Bateman’s email, the Utah Republican Party posted that “Antisemitism has no place in this party or in our country.”
For all that we hear about white privilege, it certainly doesn’t protect white people from criticism — at least not on this level.
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