The Worst Week Yet:
November 14-20, 2021

3,035 words

Kyle Rittenhouse Found Not Guilty of Shooting Three Black Men

As I explained last week, the only remotely racial element of the Kyle Rittenhouse case — if you discount the convicted boy-raper dwarf Joseph Rosenbaum shouting, “shoot me, nigga!” to a crowd of non-niggas — was the idea that mobs were roaming the streets of Kenosha burning buildings and destroying property for three days because, in the course of trying to arrest a black man named Jacob Blake over a domestic sexual-assault situation, a Jewish cop had shot Blake after the domestically violent Negro had turned his back against police orders before walking away from them and reaching inside his car.

So basically, the only discernible racial element to the case — meaning thus far, because I’ll get to some new evidence in a second — involved one Jew shooting a black man and a pedophile saying “nigga.”

But on Friday, when Rittenhouse was acquitted of all counts, the usual trained seals began loudly flapping their flippers about “white supremacy” and “lynch-mob justice” and how much it sucks a gigantic dick to be black in America.

Because we live in a world that is absolutely insane with confirmation bias — and I’m not sure whether social media has amplified a preexisting condition or merely made it more readily apparent — many of those who hallucinate Klansmen swimming in their oatmeal were under the impression that Rittenhouse had killed black people.

This includes members of the mainstream press.

“Teenager who shot three black men with rifle found not guilty on all charges,” blared a subhead in the UK’s Independent.

One of Brazil’s biggest papers described Rittenhouse as a “Young white man who killed two black men.”

The Dutch paper De Telegraaf wrote that Rittenhouse had been on trial “for the shooting of three black people.”

This was not a “racially charged” case; it was a “racially injected” case. The person who possibly had the biggest hand — although a liver-spotted, trembling hand­ — in creating a false racial narrative was Joe Biden, who last September tweeted a picture of Rittenhouse along with verbiage about “white supremacists.”

It is a deeply unpleasant task to put on my rubber boots and wade through the endless sewage of vitriolic misinformation and bad-faith mind-reading about any major “racial” news item these days, so I’ll stick to one story from Minnesota’s Spokesman-Recorder that seems to commit nearly every journalistic faux pas imaginable. Although it concedes that Rittenhouse didn’t actually, you know, shoot any black people, it strains to make a case for why it seems like he did. It accuses trial judge Bruce Schroeder of bearing an “eerie likeness to Nazi Germany-era Roland Friesler [compare the links; except for the male-pattern baldness, they look nothing like one another].” Without even a whisper of self-awareness, it accuses the judicial proceedings of being “filled with biased assumptions,” then accuses the judge, Rittenhouse, and his defense lawyers of viewing those who Rittenhouse shot as being “rabble-rousers” and “n—g-r lovers.” It says “this trial evokes memories of racially biased Southern trials of the Jim Crow era when White Freedom Riders were treated as harshly as Blacks [sic].” It alleges that “the shooting victims lost their right to be considered human beings when they attended a protest” and that “Blake was shot for no discernible good reason other than the desire of an armed agent of the State to carry out his true mission — to remind Black [sic] people of their place in this society by any means necessary.”

What a way to artificially inseminate the story with race porn! While it’s hard not to be impressed by the level of imagination involved there, I’m not kidding when I say that any writer who claims the ability to read minds, especially when they plant Hate Seeds in someone else’s mind and present it as fact, should be stripped naked and executed by a firing squad on live TV. That may sound excessive, but it might be the only way to stop this ghastly trend.

This brings me to the only other scrap of possible evidence suggesting that something racial was actually going on that night. One of the charges of which Rittenhouse was acquitted involved a potential 17.5 years in prison for shooting at what became known in court proceedings as “Jump Kick Man” — a heretofore unidentified black male who kicked Rittenhouse in the head shortly after Anthony Huber made the fatal decision to swing his skateboard at Rittenhouse for a second time.

Photo evidence clearly shows that the man who kicked Rittenhouse in the head was black. But now come reports that the perpetrator was Maurice “Reese” James Freeland, who allegedly offered to testify in the Rittenhouse case in exchange for immunity on an array of pending criminal charges. Freeland’s estranged wife — who is white — claims that shortly after the incident, he phoned her to say, “You’re not going to believe what just happened; I almost got shot by a dude.” She also says that in the moments before the shooting, presumably while Rittenhouse was being chased, her hubby had posted “@Team Reese, let’s kill that white boy” on Facebook alongside emojis of a gun and a coffin. She says that he deleted the messages soon thereafter.

Of course, this is all alleged. Even as things stand, the only racial elements to the Jacob Blake and Kyle Rittenhouse shootings involved blacks and Jews actin’ a fool. If the accusations against Freeland are true, that’s only an extra layer of chocolate frosting on the Hate Cake.

ABC Says Blacks “Disproportionately” Harmed by Gun Violence but Doesn’t Say Who’s Shooting Them

I’ve decided that not only should mind-reading by journalists be punishable by death; they should also be whipped in public for lying by omission. Mind-reading is easily preventable: Simply don’t act like you know what someone is thinking. It’s one of the first things they teach you in journalism school. But it’s harder to prove that someone has lied by omission, because it’s very difficult to establish that they were aware of any pertinent facts they failed to include. Therefore, whip them in public after the first offense. If they don’t learn their lesson, kill them after the second offense.

“Gun violence disproportionately impacts people of color,” reads the headline from ABC10 in Sacramento:

According to the latest data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, nearly 40,000 Americans die from gun violence every year. . . . By far, Black [sic] people have the highest rate of gun death. The research shows Black [sic] people are more than twice as likely as white people to die from gun violence and 14 times more likely than white people to get hurt in a shooting.

Why, it’s almost as if an uninquisitive mentally retarded person would read that headline and find that it confirms everything else they’ve heard in the media about white supremacists using America’s streets to shoot at blacks like so many pesky barnyard rodents.

Here’s what was omitted:

• About 60% of America’s gun deaths are suicides.
• Nearly 14 times as many whites than blacks commit suicide with a firearm.
• Although they account for only about 13% of the population, blacks commit about 56% of America’s murders.
• When Hispanics are taken into account, about half of white murder victims are killed by non-whites.
• Even when Hispanics are taken into account, about 86% of black murder victims are killed by other blacks.
• More than twice as many whites are killed by blacks than the inverse.

Black Writers Share the Shrieking, Belching, Barking Agony of Being Black

Although very few black Americans seem willing to make the bold move of fleeing the frozen white tundra of this hateful country for warmer and blacker pastures, I don’t think I’ve ever known a black American who’s afraid of bitching about this white-supremacist country, despite how dangerous they would lead you to believe that is.

That’s because it’s not dangerous at all. In fact, it can be highly rewarding.

Kelly McWilliams is an extremely light-skinned mulatto woman. In Adobe Photoshop, a CMYK analysis of that linked photo says her skin is 0% black. (Try it if you don’t believe me.) Yet she writes books about being “black” and gets paid by TIME magazine to bleat like a snow-colored nanny goat about “the life-or-death consequences of being Black [sic] in America.” She says that the endless microaggressions that black women face in the United States can “shorten our lives” but lies by omission by failing to note that black women live longer in America than white men. The self-pitying mulatto shrieks:

Being Black [sic] in America means that terror can, at any time, bubble up from the deep — history’s bearing on today is heavy, persistent and chainlike. Hundreds of years ago, Black [sic] children were routinely separated from their parents, and our souls remember this. Our bodies remember the brutality of our past — especially when we are afraid, and especially when we are dealing with an institution (a hospital, a school, a police station) that continues to perpetuate systemic racism. This is intergenerational trauma, and it comes for light and dark alike. . . . From this, we must understand that being Black in America is still a dangerous business — and those dangers are myriad and deep. Passing might be a sin, but when the terror is so old and so strong, isn’t it an understandable one?

The only thing I don’t understand is why you don’t move to a country where you aren’t constantly subjected to endless white terror.

Elie Mystal looks as if Frederick Douglass and the cartoon character Ziggy had a baby. His unfortunate appearance may have imbued him with an incurable bitterness that he has apparently chosen to aim at white people:

We live in an age when the ubiquity of white violence is plain for all to see, thanks to the camera phone. When I’m not covering white domestic threats directed at people of color, I’m often covering state-sponsored terrorism against those same targets. . . . And the whole time, I’m asking if anybody will be held accountable for the killings or beatings or the permissiveness that enables those killings and beatings. . . . It’s not enough that I have to write about these constant eruptions of white violence against people who look like me every day; I also have to contend with white people who loudly and proudly feign ignorance of the very cause of this violence. . . . I still can be executed on the street like a dog by a cop who mistakes my phone for a gun.

Theoretically, I suppose that’s possible. Statistically, you’re much likelier to be blasted by a black dude simply because you look goofy.

Black Girls Gone Wild!

Ever since Donald Trump trotted out his little pink dog whistle and encouraged black Americans to beat up Asians when he slyly referred to COVID-19 as the “China virus,” blacks have dutifully obeyed him as if he were the brutal Southern slave-driver everyone knows he secretly wishes he was.
During a recent basketball game in the heavily Vietnamese burg of Garden Grove, California, a big fat mannish brick of a black girl sucker-punched a dainty Asian girl on the court, causing her to fall to the ground and suffer a concussion. The Asian girl’s mother, Alice Ham, claims the black assailant was following orders from her mother and that neither the attacker nor her mammy apologized or showed remorse.

In the terminally hostile town of Philadelphia, video shows four black girls, two of whom are wearing hijabs and one of whom has an obviously fake set of frosted braids, berating some Asian teens and then stomping on an Asian girl who’d tried to intervene. The four black girls allegedly also attacked three Asian teen males, which confirms everyone’s suspicion that black girls have more testosterone than Asian boys. The black chicks, who are being charged with ethnic intimidation and assault, also reportedly hurled racial slurs at the slopes, although it is uncertain at press time whether or not “Chinky Chinky China Lady” was among the epithets they used.

Oprah Celebrates Release of Book Called The Last White Man

With a net worth estimated at $2.7 billion, Oprah Winfrey could likely feed an entire African nation merely with the half-eaten pork ribs she discards. Instead, she applauds fantasy novels that peddle white genocide, which, as everyone knows, is a paranoid far-Right conspiracy theory.

On her website Oprah Daily — as if Oprah once a year isn’t already more than enough — hosannas and hallelujahs are flung toward the Pakistani Muslim Mohsin Hamid’s “searing, exhilarating new novel,” The Last White Man:

The Last White Man reimagines Kafka’s iconic The Metamorphosis for our racially charged era. . . . On the book’s cover, which Oprah Daily is making public for the first time, a male silhouette is captured within a blue eye framed by Matisse-like shards, suggesting the white gaze and the fragmented self, a hallmark of the author’s oeuvre. . . . The Last White Man opens with an echo of Kafka: “One morning Anders, a white man, woke up to find he had turned a deep and undeniable brown.” Readers will instantly recognize Hamid’s sensuously lyrical voice, but there’s an undertow of angst that feels like a departure. Young and fit, Anders works at a gym in an unnamed, predominantly white country. He’s just reconnected with Oona, a childhood friend and now yoga instructor; their romance flares up as other white people also darken mysteriously. A sense of urgency spreads across the planet: Anders’s ailing father strives to hold onto his son while Oona’s mother cheers on riots fomented by white mobs. You can practically draw a line — a short, straight line — from The Last White Man to the events of the past two years.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine Oprah Winfrey sitting on your face forever.

Elf on the Shelf Accused of Being a White Supremacist

Apparently, it’s a scandal that Santa Claus only hires white elves as slave laborers at his North Pole sweatshop.

The Elf on the Shelf is the name of a 2005 children’s book that, unfortunately, gave rise to yet another stupid holiday trend where parents terrorize their children by placing a toy elf in a different part of the house every day to frighten them into compliance based on the idea that the elf is stalking them and reporting all their misdeeds back to St. Nick.

This is Kate Schweitzer. Due to her name and her nose, I’m going to assume she is a Daughter of Judah. Apparently without pausing to consider how it might sound, she recently penned an article called “Is Everyone Aware That Elf on the Shelf Still Doesn’t Sell Black Elves?”

Before chiding the perpetrators of this dumb-ass phenomenon for their lack of “inclusivity” even though they’ve already rolled out a female elf and a “dark-skinned” elf, she makes sure to take a jab directly at white ladies: “. . . the Instagram-ization of Elf on the Shelf has felt to many like a prototypical ‘white woman’ endeavor . . .”

Yeah, and you sound like a prototypical yenta.

Schweitzer then kvetches that there are clearly no obviously Bantu Elves on the Shelf while managing to drag George Floyd’s corpse into her lamentations:

But as a new holiday season is approaching and Elf on the Shelf content is exponentially rising in Google searches by the day, I’m curious: Are we all aware that Elf on the Shelf still doesn’t sell Black elves? . . . And to be clear, the dark-skinned dolls are not all that dark — they’re not even that brown and certainly not black. As a white woman with brunette hair, brown eyes, and an olive complexion, if I were in the market for an Elf on the Shelf that looked most like me and my family, I’d buy the “dark-skinned” one. That’s no benchmark for representation. . . . However, following the long-overdue racial justice movements over the past 18 months, it’s painfully clear that Elf on the Shelf’s efforts toward equality have barely begun.

Imagine attempting to race-shame an inanimate holiday toy in front of the entire world and not feeling completely fucking insane.

The “Disturbing” Rise of Nazi Soap Companies

Even when white people make seemingly benign comments such as “It’s okay to be white,” we all know that what they really mean is, “Things won’t be okay until we murder every living Jew on a Pay-per-View event broadcast live from Tel Aviv.”

So when personal-care companies such as Mighty White Soap and Dissident Soaps sell products such as “Caucasian Abrasion” and “Crusader Body Wash,” this is merely their way of saying they want to turn Jews into bars of soap.

In an article called “The Sneaky, Disturbing World of White-Nationalist Wellness,” the Daily Beast alleges that such companies “use varying levels of code to mask twisted agendas.”

It quotes the following from Dissident Soaps’ “About Us” page:

In our increasingly divisive world, it’s important to know who you’re supporting with your consumer dollars . . . we make soap to give you an alternative to large, multinational corporations that use your consumer dollars to undermine your way of life both politically and culturally . . . By working together, we can build a parallel economy that insulates us from the pervasive cancel-culture and authoritarian politics of the day.

But that’s not what they really mean. Enter one Alexandra Stern, a “researcher” at the University of Michigan, to translate that passage with her Hate Speech Decoder Ring:

They offer the family-oriented version of white nationalism — the white nationalist nextdoor [sic]. Which is ultimately just as xenophobic and racist as any white nationalism. . . . [It] wants to dissociate itself from the pot-bellied, tattooed neo-Nazis of yesteryear, and present itself as a more normal lifestyle, They particularly want to normalize their ideas among young white people likely to get married and have kids.

The Daily Beast assures us that although these groups say they merely wish to leave white people smelling good and feeling good about themselves, they “ultimately support the creation of hateful enclaves. . . . It’s an insidious creep of bile, gussied up in wellness mantras and floral scents, seeping into showers across the nation.”

I’m so thankful we have experts such as this to inform us that there is no such thing as a hate-free bar of white soap.

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