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600 Lumps of Coal

Slit wrist and a $600 stimulus check

Phil Eiger Newmann, Final Notice, 2020.

1,090 words

Apparently, Uncle Sam has decided to dress as Ebenezer Scrooge this Christmas.

I don’t know much about economics — if I did, I’d be a millionaire rather than a writer — but I know enough to realize that the US economy is wrecked beyond belief.

Make no mistake — it had fallen into a bottomless pit before this horrid year even launched. A year ago, combined national debt and unfunded liabilities were easily over $100 trillion, meaning that every living taxpayer already “owed” nearly $1 million to the feds at some indeterminate point in the future, most likely when China and others started calling in debts.

But this year, as if by design, the economy was smashed beyond redemption, all in the alleged service of combating some virus I keep hearing about. Due to the ongoing and likely never-to-end lockdowns, tens of millions of people lost employment — perhaps permanently — while businesses small and large were shuttered forever. Federal spending for the past fiscal year is more than twice the revenue the government collected from taxes. An estimated third of all dollars in existence were printed over the past ten months.

I don’t care if you call me paranoid for suspecting this is all engineered to force a market crash, a currency collapse, and then a benevolent reset wherein the government heroically rescues us all to the point where it locks us in padded cells for our protection and dictates when we’re allowed to have a bowel movement.

Back in March when they inaugurated the systematic economic shutdown, the feds doled out $1,200 stimulus checks and gave us some vague assurances that things would get better. Then came nine months of layoffs and shutdowns and lockdowns and riots and grindingly diminished hope, all of it peppered with relentless lying and gaslighting.

Last Sunday, five days before Christmas, Congress rolled out a new “relief” program in the form of a 5,593-page bill and decided that economically desperate Americans only needed half of the stimulation they did last spring.

The median US household income in 2019 was roughly $1,200 a week. So stressed-out and economically hopeless Americans, frightened that their future has already been stolen from them, are expected to feel “stimulated” this time around by the equivalent of a half-week’s pay.

It feels as if Santa Claus has wriggled down the chimney just to kick us all in the balls.

It reminds me of the time I went trick-or-treating, and the nasty old wheelchair-bound man who lived up the block gave us five pennies tightly wrapped in tinfoil instead of candy bars.

The members of Congress are either incomprehensibly out of touch, or they’re actively sadistic.

The $900 billion COVID-19 bill was folded like wilted lettuce inside a $2.4 trillion omnibus burrito that is supposed to keep the government afloat until next September. Many imminent recipients of a one-time $600 check were infuriated to the point of poppin’ blood vessels to learn that despite giving Americans the equivalent of a greeting card for Christmas, Congress found it in their hearts to liberally sprinkle billions o’ bucks on seeming non-essentials:

  • Twenty billion to the United States Postal Service — why? To implant bigger brains in black mail-sorters? Stamps aren’t already expensive enough, and the service isn’t already sufficiently abysmal?
  • Another year-long extension of the amnesty program for Liberian refugees, those descendants of ex-slaves in America who fled American oppression back to the Motherland, only to realize the Motherland is a deadbeat mom and come back here begging for help.
  • A billion dollars to the Smithsonian to build a women’s history museum as well as the National Museum of the American Latino — as if either women or Hispanics were suffering from a lack of self-esteem rather than a surfeit of it.
  • At least $1.5 billion for the “Indo-Pacific Strategy” and the “Asia Reassurance Initiative”; more than $1 billion each to Egypt and Jordan; nearly $1 billion to Sudan; and a half-billion to Ukraine. A robust $10 million is earmarked for Pakistan to spend on “gender programs.”
  • Israel gets another half-billion dolloped on top of the $3.8 billion that taxpayers already shell out to Our Greatest Ally in the form of direct aid — which doesn’t count the $741 billion or so that will go to “defense” in 2021, an ungodly quotient of which involves fighting proxy wars for Israel in the Middle East.
  • And the unkindest cut of all: While doling out $600 to the plebs they’ve locked down in their moldy American homes, the members of the House of Representatives voted themselves a $46,468 annual raise.

Whether he’s sincerely angry or simply feigning outrage so he can stick it to everyone on his way out the door, Donald Trump called the $600 checks a “disgrace” and threatened to veto the bill unless the payouts were increased to $2,000. Supposedly Congress will be voting on the upgrade today — Christmas Eve — and the only ones who threaten to stand in its way are fiscally conservative Republicans.

But even $2,000 is like a Band-Aid on an amputated arm.

This new bill will saddle the average American taxpayer — and lest ye forget, slightly fewer than half of living Americans are taxpayers — to the tune of $16,783 — which is $600 twenty-eight times over.

Some gift! It’s like finding out that someone’s given you a new pair of underwear for Christmas, except they’re merely returning one of the 28 pairs of new underwear they’ve already stolen from you. Oh — and they’ll expect that one pair back with interest.

This doesn’t constitute robbing Peter to pay Paul — it’s robbing a dollar from Peter, then giving him a nickel back.

How about you simply never take the money from me in the first place? I’d rather buy my own underwear and eliminate the middle man, thank you very much.

I suppose the only remaining mystery is how much of this is rank incompetence and how much is pure sadism.

Maybe it’s all a long con designed to gradually wean everyone off of hope. What exactly will our beneficent overlords have to do before more people finally say, “This system is beyond redemption”?

The only thing I’m left wondering is exactly how far out of the USA one can get on a $600 one-way plane ticket.

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  1. ValhallaX
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 4:11 am | Permalink

    It is simple. It is The Zionist Hell.

    The Satans are all doing very well, Thank You.

  2. Lee
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 4:44 am | Permalink

    Can anyone tell me where to find these comics by Phil Eiger Newmann? I see them here and another site but can’t find anything else online.

    • Greg Johnson
      Posted December 24, 2020 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

      He does them for us, so this is where to find them.

    • Canadianer
      Posted December 26, 2020 at 12:32 pm | Permalink

      I think he used to be known as “A. Wyatt Mann”. Maybe it would be a good idea to put together a book of his illustrations.

  3. Antidote
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 4:45 am | Permalink

    Alejandra Ocasio-Cortez emerges as more populist than Trump, but we predict the Senate conservatives will vote down the bill….handing the Georgia senatorial elections to the Democrats.

    Oh sheit, muh great re-set

  4. inq
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 5:43 am | Permalink

    “I don’t care if you call me paranoid for suspecting this is all engineered to force a market crash, a currency collapse, and then a benevolent reset wherein the government heroically rescues us all to the point where it locks us in padded cells for our protection and dictates when we’re allowed to have a bowel movement.”

    It is Great Reset/Agenda 2030.

    This is the future for us according to Schwab (World Economic Forum), Gates, Soros and other overlords who already prepositioned themselves in many economic sectors in order to profit from it, no matter what impact on the society.
    The overlords are conditioning people to their financial schemes and gains.

    Globalists, social engineers, manipulators are at work to mislead young people and their parents, and society at large, in order to achieve a predetermined outcome, a scientific scam.
    They utilize data mining, surveillance, profiling and algorithms for that purpose in education, employment, social life, etc.
    It is a dystoptian vision of a society controlled by technocracy and the 1%.

    A great, content-rich interview:

    Julianne Romanello on How Technocracy and the Great Reset Are Being Implemented at the Local Level

    This is an opportunity for WN to become active and wake people up on a local level, as citizens are in danger of losing control of personal and civic lives and freedoms, and state and local governments where it counts the most.

    Make no mistake. The worst is still to come as the title indicates !

  5. Captain John Charity Spring MA
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 6:29 am | Permalink

    Trump did have all the right instincts but he also had feet of clay. He could have easily organized a Dole march demanding a $2,000 payout and have besieged all the foot dragging politicians in their houses all summer. If you are going to make people suffer a mass quarantine scenario you have to lavishly fund it too. All of this was elementary economics. Subsidise behavior you wish to encourage. NOT ONE POLITICIAN on the left or right was screaming out for cash this summer. Trump should have.

  6. Sandra Lynn
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 6:30 am | Permalink

    It’s most puzzling how these bought-and-paid-for “servants of the people” can cobble together legislation and economic packages that have such blatant WTF elements. If they have no sense of shame, don’t they at least have an appreciation for lampoon-worthy irony. I mean, giving millions to assure “free and fair” democratic elections in some distant land when at least half of this nation is convinced they’re the victims of massive and unaddressed election fraud. Sheesh.

  7. Alberticus
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 7:37 am | Permalink

    And the unkindest cut of all: While doling out $600 to the plebs they’ve locked down in their moldy American homes, the members of the House of Representatives voted themselves a $46,468 annual raise.

  8. Some White Guy
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 8:18 am | Permalink

    Where would one go on the one way plane? The same madness described is happening everywhere one would want to live.

    We’re in the boot forever stomping on our faces phase of things, I fear.

    Positive side is that virtually no one can avoid seeing the truth of what’s going on now, except the willfully blind.

  9. 00buck
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 10:49 am | Permalink

    Several years ago a columnist made reference to the ‘bloated rotting corpse” of our Republic. My demoralization would undoubtedly be more complete if I hadn’t had 30+ years of practice observing the corpse of this nation. And yes, it really is Satanic.

    Nothing else makes sense.

  10. James O'Meara
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    You forgot the bestest, most importantest part: how shall the Dalai Lama be reincarnated?

    See pg 5099 of the PDF:


    • Stephen Phillips
      Posted December 24, 2020 at 3:21 pm | Permalink

      “I think Europe belongs to Europeans” – Dalai Lama

      At least he’s not on my shit-list this year.

  11. 12AX7
    Posted December 24, 2020 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    Think it’s bad now (and it is), wait until Corrupt, Decrepit Joe puts his hand of the Bible, mumbles some oath about the Constitution then goes for his four hour afternoon nap. Camel Toe Harris, waiting in the wings will pick up the slack after Corrupt, Decrepit Joe resigns because of “ill health” or something and tries to act as President. Confidence in the U.S., first abroad, then at home will go to zero. No one, especially in Asia believes for one second that any of the wogs who will be at least in nominal control of the U.S. can possibly run the Empire successfully.

    One of the effects of this will be the final ruin of the dollar through hyperinflation as confidence in the future of the U.S. goes to zero. Hyperinflation will also end the U.S. centered geo-political order that has prevailed, for better or worse since 1945. Life in the U.S. and around the world will be much more chaotic as the rapid transition from U.S. leadership to a power vacuum to whatever comes next proceeds inexorably.

    There is no way to stop this ruin now, all the chances to reverse the course of destruction over the decades were squandered, mostly by Republicans, too. Ending immigration, building a 2,200 mile border against South and Central America, kicking out wogs, attacking business monopolies in agriculture, high tech, finance etc. were not done when there was the opportunity.

    Instead, Reagan gave us an explosion in the size of the deficit starting in 1981, amnesty in 1986, another bailout of corrupt Wall Street in 1987 and so on. GWB I gave us the unnecessary Gulf War I and a failed chance to remove U.S. troops from Europe and cement good relations with Russia after the collapse of the USSR. His idiot son gave us Gulf War II and more Moslem immigration after 9/11. Trump tweeted a lot but had feet of clay, he did next to nothing substantial.

    Now the piper must be paid and the preposterous “coalition of the fringes” (HT Steve Sailer) that won the election is going to show the world exactly what it can do: nothing. Besides rioting, attacking White people and failing everywhere they have no skills, no discipline, no useful talents, no capacity for civilization in them. At least the lie of equality and “All Men are created Equal” will be exposed for the fraud that it is.

  12. 3g4me
    Posted December 25, 2020 at 8:41 am | Permalink

    Why anyone would expect anything other than a turd sandwich from Congress surprises me. They will always feather their own nest first. Interesting to consider that fewer than half of ‘Americans’ are taxpayers while only about 65% of Americans are White. If stimulus money only went to White American men, I wouldn’t have an issue with it, but since it also goes to every Juan, Truoc, and Ashok, I consider even $600 too much. Foreign aide has always been illegal and irrational; taxing working White people to pay for Mohammedan gender issues is just as much as an obscenity as the constant stream of dollars to the small hats.

    I tried hard to get into the “Christmas spirit” this year, but somehow the hordes of White women and browns, yellows, and blacks of all 239 genders thronging the stores in search of the cheapest Chinese junk didn’t inspire me. Neither did Mariah Carey played endlessly on the radio. Neither did the paper-Americans lined up miles down the road in their expensive cars to stare at the ‘seasonal lights’ mandated by the neighboring homeowners association. Neither did the chanting and dancing nogger Salvation Army bell ringers. I dream of the day I can give generous charity to deserving White people, and put out lights genuinely celebrating Christ’s birth, and wish peace on earth to men of good will, but this Christmas is not that day.

    • Captain John Charity Spring MA
      Posted December 25, 2020 at 11:02 am | Permalink

      Christmas cheer is showing the kids Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor… Two cheap 80s Star Wars spinoffs featuring Ewoks protecting a cute kid from witches and monsters. The Matte Painting for the scenery is excellent pre digital Special Effects.

  13. Alexandra O.
    Posted December 25, 2020 at 12:57 pm | Permalink

    By the way, $46,468 a year divided by 52 weeks, equals $893.61 per week, an actual amount many Americans can and do live on each year right now. It’s certainly more than I make in retirement, with two pensions and two IRAs that I saved myself — plus Social Security! Many make much less. So, the Congressional “raise” is really the ‘shot over the bow’. I really hope Americans get a whiff of this figure, far and wide.

    • Stronza
      Posted December 27, 2020 at 9:47 am | Permalink

      White people have a hard time living in reasonable comfort because they are too individualistic and uncooperative. They need to learn how to live together 2 families (or more) at a time. I remember how certain DPs did this when they first started coming over in droves in the 20th century. Next thing you know, they own entire apartment blocks.

      Yet even the European settlers struggled like crazy because it had to be One Family In One House. That’s not the best way to do things at least not always. Even where these matters are controlled by municipal government, you are still allowed 4 unrelated adults living together under the same roof (some places anyway). People won’t take even one room mate. However, white folks just love to live alone and then they struggle and bitch. Sometimes they are found dead in their little apartments but only after they start reeking. We will go extinct out of our excessive but much vaunted (by us) individualism.

  14. Posted December 26, 2020 at 1:25 am | Permalink

    This is only the beginning…..But, we can make inroads, as things get ‘worse’, we can influence more people…here in small town Montana, people are looking me up, even those that thought, I was ‘crazy’….before…….

  15. ValhallaX
    Posted December 26, 2020 at 2:49 am | Permalink

    Just a little note:

    “Kamala” is a word in Finnish and means translated “Horrible”. Nomen est omen.

  16. jason seward
    Posted December 26, 2020 at 2:40 pm | Permalink

    If congress was required to read aloud live on camera every bill in its entirety before voting this bs would end right quick

  17. Posted December 27, 2020 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    Trump didn’t even veto the bill. He signed off on $600 and then, I’m assuming, waved from a helicopter at his supporters getting beaten in the streets as he went off to play more golf.

    • Captain John Charity Spring MA
      Posted December 28, 2020 at 6:21 am | Permalink

      Seems clear enough to me that Trump would have prefered to have distributed this dole money in summer or before the election. Also looks like the bipartisan consensus between Pelosi and McConnell in summer was to spitefully deprive people of dole money while the second wave began to strike. While he may have been ineffective or unable to deliver a dole, it does look like he had a strong desire (self serving) for distributing cash during summer.

  18. Zma
    Posted December 28, 2020 at 4:29 am | Permalink

    They’re both sadistic and hopelessly out of touch. Congress votes themselves nearly a $50k raise and gives us $600? How about take the full stimulus bill, divide it by the number of Americans receiving stimulus and let that be that.

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