A long time ago, when society was far happier and vastly more functional, a basic rule of etiquette dictated that one should “never discuss religion or politics in polite company.” But these days, the fact that hardly anyone can shut the fuck up about politics for five minutes means that there is no such thing as “polite company” anymore. Today, the only joy most people seem to get is from imagining their ideological opponents writhing in pain.
Look at any pop-culture artifact from a generation or two ago, and it becomes depressingly obvious how infrequently people used to talk about politics, much less cry or scream about politics.
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I recall a previous incarnation of someone called “Keith Olbermann” from the 1990s. He was a capable TV sports analyst who didn’t seem remotely unstable, unhappy, or unhinged.
Then, as he transubstantiated into yet another fire-breathing, holier-than-thou political sourpuss who branded others as “The Worst Person on Earth” merely because their stupid political ideas differed from his stupid political ideas, before our very eyes he morphed into The Unhappiest Person on Earth.
It’s an impressive accomplishment. He has a lot of competition. We live in deeply unhappy times. A recent study from Finland concludes that “woke” people tend to be unhappier than the non-woke, but I think political monomania has made everyone cranky. The unprecedented technological ability to constantly blast your half-cocked political opinions to the world — a world that everyone rightly senses is rapidly falling apart — makes online discourse resemble a primal-scream session in a loony bin.
While pivoting from sportscasting to political bloviating, Olbermann originally postured as an unbiased, nonpartisan journalist, but the mask didn’t take long to slip. He was calling Bush Jr. a “fascist,” referring to “Right-wing media” as a “reeking pile of manure,” and accusing the anodyne Michelle Malkin of being driven by “morally bankrupt, knee-jerk fascistic hatred.” He was constantly throwing hissy fits about the “Tea Klux Klan” and the “teabaggers” and said that “I believe prejudice and discrimination still sit defeated, dormant, or virulent somewhere in the soul of each white man in this country.”
Keith Olbermann, you see, is a deeply righteous man who is grievously affected way down to his sixth lumbar vertebra at all the damage that others — the ones who aren’t as righteous as he is — are wreaking upon this republic. He barfs up all the cornily sanctimonious platitudes about “democracy” and how the Bad People on The Other Side are subverting it. Behold him pouting on the floor while curled up in an American flag and looking totally mental. He found that pose to be so profoundly moving that he’s done it more than once.
Everyone except Keith is a stupid Nazi. A fascistic Nazi moron. Or a moronic Nazi fascist. The earliest example I could find of Olbermann sliming someone as a Nazi was in 1998, when he said that Clinton prosecutor Ken Starr looked like “Heinrich Himmler, including the glasses.” Since we all know how brave it is to criticize Nazis, especially in public, Olbermann has spent the last quarter-century boldly proving Godwin’s Law to be true. He took it so far over the top that even the freaking Anti-Defamation League castigated him in 2006 for sieg-heiling while wearing a mask of his arch-nemesis Bill O’Reilly. My personal favorite instance of Olbermann invoking the demon Führer was this carefully crafted word-shart he tweeted in 2017:
Fuck you @RealDonaldTrump Nazi Nazi fuck Nazi Nazi RACIST Nazi BIGOT go fuck yourself fucking Nazi fuckers.
Like so many others, Olbermann is perfectly happy to use Donald Trump as an excuse to never, ever be happy again. The sputtering lunatic even wrote a whole joke book called Trump Is F*cking Crazy (This Is Not a Joke).
He has confidently predicted Trump’s imminent downfall for years only to come back frothing and fulminating and vituperating when he is proved wrong yet again. Just this week, he implied that he hopes Trump will be assassinated.
As someone who spent years mocking Trump for the alleged “Pee Pee Tape” that magically never surfaced, it’s amusing that earlier this month Olbermann accidentally branded himself in perpetuity as The Man Who Cries Tears Made of Urine. After the Supreme Court voted 9-0 in favor of Donald Trump regarding his Colorado ballot case, Olbermann solemnly demanded that one of our democracy’s three pillars be abolished in the service of, uh, saving our democracy:
The Supreme Court has betrayed democracy. Its members including Jackson, Kagan and Sotomayor have proved themselves inept at reading comprehension. And collectively the “court” has shown itself to be corrupt and illegitimate.
It must be dissolved.
When someone encouraged him to “Cry more,” Olbermann parried with a reply that was so mystifyingly impotent, urologists will be studying it for decades:
Those aren’t tears, Fascist. They’re urine. I’m sure you enjoy being bathed in it.
Excusez-moi? Tu pleures des larmes d’urine?
Marveling at the “stunning lack of self-awareness” that would lead someone to angrily imply that he’d just pissed all over his own face, a writer for the Daily Caller says that after “Olbermann’s long career of being stunningly and shockingly stupid on the internet, I am starting to wonder if he lost the part of his brain that processes shame in a snowmobiling accident or something.”
He might be on to something there. Diminished responsibility due to an idiotically-acquired head injury might help explain all this otherwise inexplicably nutty behavior. By Olbermann’s own account, he suffered a concussion and subsequent amnesia in 1980 after leaping “head first into the overhead of the doorway of a New York City subway car.”
No one can decide to be as unlikable as he is, can they? I’ll be merciful and allow the possibility that Olbermann is an emotionally incontinent, drooling mess due to a combo of that head injury and the poisonous cloud of hyper-politicization that we are all forced to breathe these days.
Still, I don’t feel sorry for him. There are countless brain-damaged people who lead fulfilling lives without needing to shit on others while peeing on themselves.
Like too many others, Olbermann is a guy who can’t even keep a job but knows how to run the world. Once you skim past unremittingly hysterical headlines such as “TRUMP DOUBLES DOWN ON ORGY OF ANTISEMITISM,” take a gander at the thumbnails for his current self-produced-from-the-bunker podcast series. Olbermann looks incurably miserable in every last photo. He winces and grimaces through one pained expression after the next. One gets the sense that his tormented soul has very little to do with “fascists” and everything to do with the fact that he’s stuck being Keith Olbermann.
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28 comments
“I believe prejudice and discrimination still sit defeated, dormant, or virulent somewhere in the soul of each white man in this country.”
This is interesting to think about. Perhaps what animates Olberman’s hysteric inner scold is that until every last white man in America who is proud and confident and who longs for freedom of association, freedom of speech, freedom of assembly and a coherent, cohesive, stable country and civilization that can only come from being racially and culturally homogenous under a huge and confident majority, he will wail and whine and gnash his teeth until they are all as cowed and whipped of a deracinated dog as he is.
As for the tears of urine, I recall the early days of the Internet when instead of political vitriol we entertained sites like Fat Chicks in Party Hats and stared in amazement at photos of Tub Girl etc. It was low-brow and bad taste to be sure, but it was healthier than Olberman the Sad Sack’s rants. I for one always wondered where Tub Girl’s male companion was – you know back in a time where one just assumed a girl as naughty and surely high natured as Tub Girl wanted to be on the make with a guy. Alas, it may turn out that Olberman’s tears have him pegged as the long missing but finally found Tub Boy.
I can’t help but notice he capitalizes the “f” in “fascist.” I looked it up and word is it’s “often capitalized” but, still, you take the time to capitalize the “f” in “fascist” in a sentence about urine?
“BIGOT” and “RACIST” get to be all caps.
To wit:
“Fuck you @RealDonaldTrump Nazi Nazi fuck Nazi Nazi RACIST Nazi BIGOT go fuck yourself fucking Nazi fuckers.”
Touche!
Should you capitalize the “j” in “jerkweed?”
Clearly, another well-adjusted calm voice of reason and feather in the cap of unhinged leftie hysterics everywhere with nothing but love in their hearts for their fellow man and who like to say “democracy” a lot while giving it a bad name for producing them.
Since Fascism is being named, I’m close to finish reading “The Forced War” by David L. Hoggan. The whole 700+ pages is what lead to September 1, 1939 when Germany attacked Poland. Top of page 12, the author places the blame for the entirety of World War II on Lord Halifax & Britain. Eventually, the truth is revealed. It might take 25, 50, 100+ years, but, truth will out.
Wonder what it says about Anthony Eden
British Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden was part of the warmongering cabal, along with Winston Churchill, Harold Macmillan, & others. Italian Ambassador Bernardo Attolico was horrified at UK’s march to war as he declared with indignation that warmongers like Anthony Eden should be hanged.
Imagine there was the internet in 1939 with Tucker Carlson interviewing Halifax, Chamberlain, Churchill, Hitler, Stalin, Beck. One obvious question would be to said cabal “why are you rejecting everyone of Hitler’s peace offers?”
“The Forced War” David L. Hoggan needs to be in every library & home.
Thank you for bringing this book to light, here is an excerpt from another interesting book which deals with this and wider subjects.
“Was it similarities in fascist ideals that drew Italy and Germany into an alliance, or did a lack of commitment on the part of the European Allies and the incompetence of men like Anthony Eden play a part in it, along with Mussolini’s own desire for expansion? Eden despised Mussolini and preferred a working relationship with Hitler. Hitler’s alternatively saw Mussolini as his mentor, but his admiration for fascism was not primarily “its new system of government”, but its ability to perform and impress a nation’s people, and to attain complete control of government using that trust, and their desperation.
The Locarno treaties to secure and maintain post war territorial settlement and original borders provided a more dignified agreement to Germany’s Weimar Republic after the Versailles treaty. In an attempted Austrian coup by Hitler (1934) which took the life of Austria’s leader Engelbert Dollfuss while his wife and family were vacationing in Italy with Mussolini’s wife Rachelle when they received the news, Mussolini immediately sent four army divisions and air force to the Austrian border ready to cross over and aid the Austrian army which immediately responded to the threat.
A large northern unit of German Nazis did invade Austria‘s southernmost state of Carinthia, but was apparently routed by Italian military units.
Hitler backed down in what was the only retreat of his career without necessitating military conflict, and in humiliation denied any involvement. To Mussolini’s disappointment Eden, England and France not only avoided any participation to contain Hitler, but they sat back quietly without even providing public verbal support despite the previous treaties and the Four Power Pact whose recent accords intended to not only maintain border security, but to Italy’s interest also restrict any Nazi aggression. Mussolini later told Count Ciano, we were expected to “bell the cat”, a term referring to which mouse would be risked to attempt to place a bell around the sleeping cats neck for all the others. Although he was hailed in the international press as the peacekeeper he considered this little consolation and it was this betrayal and lack of reaction by the allies which propelled him closer to Germany in what appeared to be a more trustworthy gamble.” (Reflection, by Guzziferno)
James Smith, our ancestors believed – strength in unity. A common people united is strength. The symbol for Fascism (is on many buildings in Italy today dating back to the Roman Empire). This same symbol of Fascism is on the walls in Congress. Lincoln memorial has his hands resting on said symbols. Statue of George Washington beside a man size symbol of Fascism. I tell libtards to replace united with diverse, to read: Diverse Kingdom, Diverse States of America.
John, unity has surely diminished, and so has education and awareness which leads to or allows acts of inhumanity. Senator Byrd gave a speech on the manipulated goals of our university education before he passed. Diminished is also any remnants of honest representation in a democratic “Representative government”. There is a dyer need to assemble again and not on the internet but as they once did in public places (butchers, bakers, candlestick makers).
Funny I mention the fasces on the walls of congress, and Lincoln memorial of which I have pictures. FDR was a great admirer, and US coins (dimes) of this era also had the symbol minted on them. The entire architecture in the capital copied Empirical Rome and the 1st Washington monument in the Smithsonian depicts him seated in a toga. When it comes to government and law, there are numerous books on it.
“It was a collectivist ideology where the state drove policies, but the people collectively supported the state decisions because they were in their “collective” interest. The state was the accumulated interest of the majority / nationally, for decisions regarding the overall good (central interests) or the “whole” of society. This drive over rode the singular interest of any singular ambitious group or special interest which damaged the “whole” for the sake of its own liberal pursuit of wealth and profit.”
“When the conception of the people’s state declines, and disunifying and centrifugal tendencies prevail, whether of powerful individuals or of particular powerful groups, (independent centrifugal corporate forces or forces of finance that do not speak or act for the majority), the nations where such phenomena appear are in their decline”.- Mussolini
“…..Jackson, Kagan and Sotomayor have proved themselves inept at reading comprehension.”
Well, you know what they say about broken clocks. Now if only this broken man could come up with just one more true statement.
“Olbermann parried with a reply that was so mystifyingly impotent, urologists will be studying it for decades”
Good one!
Is Kieth Jewish? I can’t seem to find that out.
Worse, he’s Unitarian
Hahahahahahaha
Unitarianism is a faith. “Is this person Jewish” is always a question of race, not faith.
He’s German, not Jewish.
Is it though? I always thought of Unitarianism as a gay social club with God thrown in, maybe, you know, if that’s your vibe mannnnnn.
I recall a story from back in the day that KO spent a million bucks or more on a collectible baseball card on an ebay auction. I could be wrong, but I never liked him even as a sports caster. At any rate, if you can spend more than ten bucks on a baseball card, you are mega privileged beyond mere “White privilege” I mean he could have sent a dozen Scholas to Harvard for that amount.
It’s hilarious that he portrays himself in brownface on his Youtube channel banner.
Nice screed. Couldn’t happen to a better target.
Well, speaking of happiness, I’m thankful for the little bursts of happiness I feel reading the finely crafted barbs of a master wordsmith like Jim Goad.
His surname sounds like something “Mush Mouth ” from Fat Albert would say ; “Hey bemanba Olbermanba…” which still makes more sense than anything Olberman himself has ever said….
“The Fairness Doctrine, which required balanced individual perspective to media, established in 1949 was eliminated under the Reagan administration, allowing for the emergence of extremist television projecting only one sided perspectives without any required proof, and advocating within the public the increase of one sided arguments. The elimination of the doctrine by the FCC in 1987 and removal from the Federal Register in 2011, eliminated the need to balance views and opinion on or within the same televised programs or debate aired. Along with the now legal acceptance of “lying on public media” or projecting false and unsubstantiated information on political televised ads without penalty especially during election time, makes this freedom a dangerous catalyst for manipulation, division and violence. Strangely the law prohibits lying or projecting false information publicly aired regarding the marketing of products as opposed to political slander and the cover up of certain government actions.” Which false public information should be prohibited by law or prioritized?
An ongoing daily study by France 24 news reported that the internet can now be generally categorized “a poisoned well” regarding information.
Have we manipulated the rights of the 1st amendment to protect deliberate use of false information to a gullible society or potential mobs?
“Near the end of World War II, George Orwell, author of 1984 and Animal Farm, attempted to define fascism. He found it difficult. He wrote that the word ―Fascism is almost entirely meaningless, arguing that it is recklessly flung around in every direction. Orwell had been disappointed that nobody seriously wanted to come up with a clear and generally accepted definition of fascism. (Ignoring or avoiding the written doctrine). He knew why most were reluctant. If they did examine the core of fascism, they would have to gaze into a mirror and see an unsavory reflection.” (Based on their new use and definition of the word)
(Reflection, Guzziferno)
Never heard of him. In some of his thumbnails he looks like a lesbian. In some others he looks like a lesbian with a beard.
Jonathan Bowden used to proffer the sound advice that it’s better to step over excrement than get one’s feet dirty by trying to kick it out of the way. I’m sorry to say that through his justified anger with Keith Olbermann Jim Gould has got his feet dirty. It’s ironic how at the start of his article Mr. Gould berates the decline of polite discourse only to launch an unnecessary plethora of bad language.
I can’t resist pointing out that Jim Goad is not “Jim Gould.”
Thank you Deetron. I can now concentrate my ire, such as it is, on Jim Goad.
Funny, because it’s the nonstop moralistic ire that I deemed impolite, not the naughty poo-poo words.
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