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Print July 7, 2022 43 comments

Never Trust a White Rapper

Jim Goad

Robert A. Crimo III

1,832 words

In a climate where politics has poisoned everything to the point where we all probably already have Stage 4 cancer from it and likely won’t even live to see the midterms in November, is it possible for a gunman to shoot and kill seven people from a rooftop at a July Fourth parade with absolutely no political motivation?

It may sound crazy to even ask such a question. But I think the most rational response to hearing that seven people were shot dead at a July Fourth parade would be, “That’s horrible.” Instead, people’s first response tended to be, “Was he a MAGA guy or an antifa guy?” The shooter’s political opinions seemed much more important to people than the fact that seven human beings had lost their lives. Sure, sure, people are dead, but people die every day. The dead we shall always have with us. The more pressing item required standing on the victims’ rapidly-stiffening corpses to deliver a sermon about how the other side of this fabricated political binary was to blame.

The shooter — according to police, he’s already confessed­ — is an odd little 21-year-old bird-faced creature named Robert A. Crimo III. He’s from the cushy Chicago burb of Highland Park, Illinois. He stands 5’11” but weighs only 120 pounds, which means you could knock him over by languidly spitting a sunflower seed at him. I’d estimate that 110 pounds of his body weight is taken up by his hyper-elongated shovel of a nose, truly the largest proboscis I’ve ever seen on a human being and rivaling the giant, pointed snouts of the cartoon villains in the long-running MAD magazine panel Spy vs. Spy. His physiognomy is something to behold and even suggests an undiagnosed case of progeria.

On Monday, July 4 at about 10:15 AM — while dressed in a girl’s clothes, wig, and makeup — Crimo (it’s an Italian surname and is pronounced “Creamo”) ascended the external ladder to an office building in Highland Park along the parade route and fired an estimated 30 or so rounds from a Smith & Wesson M&P 15 semiautomatic rifle.

This video shows the parade being interrupted and people starting to flee just as shots ring out. This one shows the same thing from a different perspective. As does this one. This one shows a klezmer band boldly continuing to play as the shooting begins. And here are the largely overweight white people of Highland Park fleeing for safety. At least 46 people were injured in addition to the seven shot dead; a little over half were injured by gunfire and the rest sustained injuries in the ensuing melee.

After the shooting, Crimo climbed down the side of the building and mixed in with the crowd undetected. He then went to his mother’s house in Highland Park, borrowed her car, and drove to Madison, Wisconsin, where he eventually decided against committing another mass shooting. He was arrested the evening of July 4 after returning to Illinois. He apparently did not resist arrest and, through a wicked stroke of luck, he was not shot dead by police.

According to Midwest Anti-Defamation League board member Bradley Dlatt,

Highland Park, Illinois is one of the safest places in America with exceptionally strong gun laws. It’s also home to a large Jewish population. Someone was looking to make a point. Until we have real, nationwide gun control, nowhere is safe.

Mr. Dlatt seems to think young Mr. Crimo was making a point about how nowhere is safe for Jews, even in cities with “exceptionally strong gun laws.”

You can buy Jim Goad’s The Redneck Manifesto here.

Although Crimo’s uncle said that his nephew had worn women’s clothes at least once in the past, there is no indication he identified as transgender. At first, all signs pointed to the idea that he dressed in drag to evade identification and detection. Still, there are many commenters online who expressed their fondest wishes that gender dysphoria was the twisted impetus behind this sickening desecration of America’s birthday. But then again, Crimo’s official mug shot shows him to be decidedly androgynous-looking. Whether or not he believes he’s a woman, I wouldn’t put it past him to start angling for a stay at a woman’s prison.

But hey, isn’t the biggest threat to our nation the ever-looming specter of white-supremacist terrorism? Someone dug up verified postings from Crimo on a gore-centric website called Documenting Reality, including one from June 28 where he wrote, “i say we just get rid of the blacks all together [sic].” Then there emerged a picture of him dressed in a Where’s Waldo? costume at a Trump rally. Next came a snapshot of Crimo draping himself in a Trump flag while standing on a chair. And someone else found a tweet where his father, a former mayoral candidate for Highland Park, “liked” a tweet supporting the Second Amendment in the wake of late May’s Uvalde Massacre.

Well, there you have it: He’s a MAGA loon shooting at the pesky and sheltered North Shore Jews whom he probably accuses of stealing the 2020 election.

Then again, someone pointed out that no one usually wears a Where’s Waldo? costume unless he feels severely out of place. Someone else speculated that by draping himself in a Trump flag and standing on a chair, he was mocking the death of Ashli Babbitt on January 6, 2021. And at the risk of stereotyping, you don’t often see Trump supporters wearing a super-faggy silver-lame top, purple goggles, and their long pink hair in ponytails. Nor do MAGAheads tend to dye their hair pink and blue, wear a smiley-face T-shirt, and get MUCH LOVE tattooed on their knuckles. And according to reports, Crimo’s now-shuttered Instagram account featured several comments in favor of antifa.

Oh, and he also had a manifesto that surely should cast some light on exactly what political winds blew between his legs and lifted his sails. It was called Arcturus, and according to a man who claims he read it (Amazon removed it from sale after July 4),

It is 28 pages long and is composed entirely of an undeciphered sequence of numbers. . . . The numbers 23, 47, and 115 seem to be of significance in decoding Arcturus, however, Arcturus remains an unsolved mystery.

Well, that’s not helping at all.

If your default political angle on mass shootings is to blame guns, Crimo was permitted to buy five guns after two separate incidents: the first in April 2019, during which 911 was summoned after he threatened to commit suicide, and the second in September 2019, after he threatened to kill household members, whereupon police were notified and seized “16 knives, a dagger and a sword from the house.” Although cops filed a “clear and present danger report” with state police, Crimo allegedly passed four subsequent background checks.

If you’re the type who blames everything on degeneracy, Crimo’s “girlfriend” was a child-sized rubber sex doll that he claimed was 15 years old. He’d often drive around with it in the back seat of his car.

Or maybe he was just another schizophrenic religious nut who finally lost his marbles. He once filmed himself painting “GOD’S NOT DEAD” on the side of a building. In 2021, he tweeted, “Whoever seeks to save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life will preserve it. — Luke 17:33.”

It seems that no matter what your political leanings are, Crimo will give you plenty of reasons to feel smug and justified about the real reason he killed all those people. If you need to blame Trump, Crimo’s your guy. If you need to blame Biden, he has that covered, too. He’s so flexible, he allows you to blame either degeneracy or religious fanaticism for his rampage — and he lets you pick! He’s uniquely generous this way; perhaps the most generous spree killer of all time.

My gut sense is that Crimo is nothing more than the lost, hopeless, pathetic, unsalvageable, mutant idiot hybrid mishmash of a postmodern and extremely online culture where he changes political symbols like a model changes evening dresses. I don’t think he’s even paused to think of what any of these things mean; they’ve just looked cool to him ever since the first time he saw them online. He is an emblem of a society where things are politicized to the point of high comedy, with the tragedy being that hardly anyone knows a fucking thing about politics, much less how to fix the world.

Since America still pretends to be a free country even though you can get shot up at Independence Day parades (it happened on Monday in Philly, too), I believe it is my existential right as a disgruntled taxpayer to choose whatever meaning for Bobby Crimo III’s July Fourth massacre best suits my emotional needs on this hot summer night.

Despite his many stylistic quirks and the fact that, yeah, he did kill seven people, the one thing I don’t think I can ever forgive is the fact that he’s a white rapper. He even has his own bio on IMDb:

The six foot Hip hop phenom Awake The Rapper was born Robert Eugene Crimo III on September 20, 2000 in Chicago, Il. He’s the middle child of three and of Italian descent.

Bobby began uploading his music to the internet when he was 11. The world first started turning their heads with the release of his 2016 track By The Pond featuring Atlas. Directly Following that Awake released his fan favorite mixtape “messages” on December 23, 2017. The Lo-fi sad boy then went on to release a second mixtape entitled “observer” on August 10, 2018 and an Ep. called “The Future Is Dope” on his 18th birthday. Fast Forward a couple months and Awake releases his hit song “On My Mind”.

Awake The Rappers [sic] Net worth is estimated at $100 thousand.

Here is the video for his track “Sleepwalker,” and here are the lyrics:

Like a sleepwalker . . . I know what I have to do. . . . I know what’s in it. Not only for me but for everyone else . . . there is no past or future, just the now. It is more abstract than I can ever imagine. I can feel the atmosphere pulling me in. It’s unstoppable. . . . I need to leave now. I need to just do it. It is my destiny. Everything has led up to this. Nothing can stop me, even myself. Is there such a thing as free will or has this been planned out . . . it’s what I was sent here to do. Like a sleepwalker . . . walking blindly into the night.

At first, based solely on how painfully weird he looks, I was willing to empathize with Bobby Crimo III as some desperately lonely young man facing a hopeless future and driven to madness by being trapped between the real world and an even colder digital world. I could understand why he lashed out in the most unforgivable way possible to get whatever attention, however negative, life had denied him until this point.

But then when I realize he’s just some brain-dead douchebag Dago rapper who chose spree killing because his primary career choice was floundering, I lose all sympathy. You can never trust a white rapper.

* * *

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Part 2

43 comments

  1. Captain John Charity Spring MA says:
    July 7, 2022 at 7:24 am

    Weird looking guys with hot sisters. Never trust them. The Perfect Gentleman and Awake the Rapper fit this profile. Can anything of other examples?

    I think he had these sister issues, given the cross dressing.

  2. Jeffrey A Freeman says:
    July 7, 2022 at 7:39 am

    “Undiagnosed progeria” lol I spit my coffee.

  3. Beau Albrecht says:
    July 7, 2022 at 7:44 am

    His middle name is Eugene.  That explains EVERYTHING.

    Best get used to spending the rest of your 110 pound life in prison, EUGENE.

    1. Jim Goad says:
      July 7, 2022 at 8:01 am

      Careful with that axe, Eugene…

      1. Fire Walk With Lee says:
        July 7, 2022 at 10:37 am

        Careful ‘round the blacks, Eugene

         

    2. Oil Can Harry says:
      July 7, 2022 at 7:30 pm

      My best childhood friend was named Eugene and loathed his name.

      He especially cringed when he went to the smash hit film Grease (1978) with his classmates and the school nerd was named Eugene- played by an impossibly geeky Jewish nebbish named Eddie Deezen.

       

      1. La-Z-Man says:
        July 8, 2022 at 10:28 am

        Eugene Cernan may have been the only non-geeky Eugene. I recall the scene in The Right Stuff where they pretty much were forced to accept Grissom’s nickname Gus cause Virgil was too weird, and his middle initial I. stood for Ivan.

  4. Michael says:
    July 7, 2022 at 8:29 am

    Crimo was shortened from Crimosky, he attended a synagogue and even sought help recently at a local temple, but was turned away because he was Reformed. Many Jews claim Italian ancestry but there is no name ‘Crimo’ in Italy.

    1. Greg Johnson says:
      July 7, 2022 at 9:11 am

      Proof?

      1. Kök Böri says:
        July 7, 2022 at 11:00 am

        I do not know anything about Crimosky, but there was in the 19th century a well-known French Jew with someway similiar name, Adolphe Crémieux, although it is pronounced differently.

        1. Margot Metroland says:
          July 8, 2022 at 7:59 pm

          The «Loi Crémieux» should be known to every Frenchman and Frenchwoman. One of the most tragic and disgraceful decrees of that period. Passed under duress at the end of the Franco-Prussian War.

          Crémieux and friends thought it would bring international support to the cause of besieged, defeated France. It awarded French citizenship to all the Jews living in French Algeria. Now, most of those had no roots in France; they hadn’t come down from Alsace to start a vineyard in Constantine. Oh no. They were mostly old «Sephardic» (the term isn’t truly appropriate, as it means Spanish) Jews who’d been there for a millennium or more.

          So, arbitrarily, French citizenship was granted to Jews with no connection to France . . . but it was refused to the Arab and Berber Moslems who had been there as long or longer! And it was all done cynically, in the the hopes of raising international sympathy.

          Surely one must see a problem here. Just as one must understand why Charles De Gaulle had to maneuver a way to cut ties with this Algerian imposture.

           

      2. j says:
        July 7, 2022 at 7:28 pm

        He pulled it out of his ass. He is not Jewish.

    2. Max says:
      July 7, 2022 at 1:20 pm

      “Crimo” isn’t a name currently found in Italy (lookup: Mappe dei Cognomi Italiani) but it could’ve been anglicized beyond recognition as was common during the “melting pot” phase of American history.

      1. Kök Böri says:
        July 8, 2022 at 1:32 am

        It seems that with Italian surnames it is difficult to separate Italian Jews from Italian Italians. I remember the famous nuclear physicist and defector to the USSR Bruno Pontecorvo. He was an Italian Jew, but I don’t know if his last name, which means something like “the bridge of the ravens”, was typically Jewish-Italian or purely Italian.

      2. Bob Roberts says:
        July 8, 2022 at 10:09 pm

        My first thought when I saw his name was that it had some connection to Crimea.
        This name seems like it’s fairly close:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solomon_Krym

        Crimean Karaite are a branch of the Jews who perhaps practice martial arts of some kind.

        1. Kök Böri says:
          July 9, 2022 at 1:33 am

          The Сrimea is in reality Qirim, and that is a Türkic word. It means a fortification element, i.e. moat or trench. The word Kermen/Qermen/Qyrmyn etc. stems of Qirim and means fortress.  For example town Akkermen – White Fortress, after the Russian occupation – Belgorod, the same meaning. Or Kermençik, place of the Nogay genocide 1783, it means Little Fortress. More, I think the Russian word Kreml (Kremlin) is derivative of kermen too. So Crimea´s name is because of the big ancient moat on Perekop.

          That idiot on the picture has nothing common with all those words.

          1. Bob Roberts says:
            July 9, 2022 at 1:11 pm

            “That idiot on the picture has nothing common with all those words.”

            Nothing except that the pronunciation of that idiots last name is very similar to the Russian name for Crimea – Russian: Крым (Crim) which happens to be the exact last name of this Jewish leader – Solomon Samuilovich Krym (Russian: Соломон Самойлович Крым; 1864 – 1936).

            Solomon Krym was a freemason as was Ernest Borgnine who was in The Dirty Dozen with Charles Bronson who was in Lola with Orson Bean who was in Forty Deuce with Kevin Bacon. I rest my case.

  5. James J. O'Meara says:
    July 7, 2022 at 9:09 am

    It’s clear that Crimo is us. He is America 2022.

    You may say “cream-o” and maybe he says “cream-o” but Miles Mathis says it’s “crimmo” as in “criminal” because that’s the sick humor of the Elite. Along with having his own IMDB page. They really aren’t subtle anymore.

    “23” is an old conspiracy trope. I think it goes back to Burroughs and his “cut ups” and was used by Genesis P-Orridge but most everyone got it from Robert Anton Wilson’s Illuminatus! books. Once someone calls your attention to it you start seeing “23” everywhere. Conspiracy, synchronicity or paranoia? You make the call!

    Added: he also has ’47’ tattooed [?] on his face. 

    1. Eric Novak says:
      July 7, 2022 at 3:14 pm

      Irish Potato Famine? 🤔

      1. Kök Böri says:
        July 8, 2022 at 1:34 am

        The Independence and splitting of India?

  6. mark gullick says:
    July 7, 2022 at 9:21 am

    ‘He is an emblem of a society where things are politicized to the point of high comedy, with the tragedy being that hardly anyone knows a fucking thing about politics’. That is right over the target.

  7. Ondrej Mann says:
    July 7, 2022 at 9:26 am

    Crimo is Gummo (1997).

    1. Fire Walk With Lee says:
      July 7, 2022 at 10:40 am

      Tummler or Solomon?

  8. Margot Metroland says:
    July 7, 2022 at 10:50 am

    Best treatment I’ve seen of Crimo yet. Well actually I haven’t seen any other good ones, only bizarre takes that Crimo was obviously a SuperMAGA because he went to a Trump rally, or must be a transsexual because his red-navy hair in one pic reminded someone of the mauve-cyan transflag, while in another he wears a beard with orange pigtails. Or clearly Antifa because, you know—deranged and anemic, with face tattoos.

    The people making these snap judgments are frequently their own private kind of mini-Crimos. The hard fact is, we have lots of crazy people running around and won’t do anything about it. As Jim Goad suggests, that’s really all ye need to know. We couldn’t stop the BLM/Antifa riots two years ago, and we refuse to round up the armies of crazies when they choose to camp out on the sidewalk.

    If I had to guess, I’d say Crimo was an MK Ultra-style Fed plant. That’s just because I like to read The Manchurian Candidate into practically every mass shooting. Your mileage may vary.

    The other shooting-conspiracy movie I thought of was The Day of the Jackal. Because in some photos Crimo is a dead ringer for the late English actor Ronald Pickup, who plays the Genoese forger/blackmailer. Just take a look—tell me if I’m wrong.

    1. James J. O'Meara says:
      July 7, 2022 at 11:33 am

      Senile dementia would make one an excellent subject for that Chinese brainwashing:

      https://www.zerohedge.com/commodities/millions-barrels-us-emergency-oil-reserve-sent-abroad-including-china

       

       

    2. Rez says:
      July 8, 2022 at 7:40 pm

      No Sir, you are absolutely correct about Ronald Pickup resemblance.

  9. La-Z-Man says:
    July 7, 2022 at 11:23 am

    Tucker talked about this. All of these weirdos are on some kind of psychotropic meds. None of them seem to have been raised by their biological father. Are any of our media, political, academic elites interested in investigating this or is ‘gun violence’ the only thing these mediocrities are capable of uttering when a tragedy like this happens?

    1. Saturn says:
      July 7, 2022 at 8:31 pm

      What is a father?  Someone needs to make a documentary and get to the bottom of things.

  10. TiredOfTheNews says:
    July 7, 2022 at 12:36 pm

    When I saw that “Where’s Waldo” photo, I was sure it was Sam Hyde.

  11. Bob Roberts says:
    July 7, 2022 at 12:41 pm

    “…driven to madness by being trapped between the real world and an even colder digital world.”

    Perhaps that wasn’t what drove him to madness. Perhaps he is simply suffering from reefer madness:

    https://nypost.com/2022/07/06/did-reefer-drive-highland-park-parade-shooter-robert-crimo-to-madness/

    https://www.themarshallproject.org/2019/01/07/the-case-against-cannabis

  12. Hamburger Today says:
    July 7, 2022 at 2:21 pm

    As is sometimes required, Warden Goad is harsh but cruel.

  13. T Steuben says:
    July 7, 2022 at 8:22 pm

    The shooter is like if zoomer nihilism and political schizophrenia congealed itself into a human avatar. I’m surprised he didn’t have a perm.

  14. Lord Shang says:
    July 8, 2022 at 2:24 am

    To cohere properly, societies need considerable social coercion. America (and most of the West now) suffers from the worst of all worlds – extreme leftism or “anarcho-marxism”, where we combine economic collectivism, with a strong democratic-redistributionist bent, and radical individualism, which ends up as anomic nihilism. The Old America was the perfect opposite: near-complete, sink-or-swim economic freedom combined with social regulation and cultural conformism (and that conformity was to traditional values and attitudes, not to today’s wokeness).

    This guy perfectly depicts modern dysgenics. I do fell sorry for his father, however, who seems like a decent guy. Imagine having this freak for a son (even before the mass murder).

    In the Ethnostate we will restore robust eugenics, as well as the involuntary confinement of lunatics.

  15. Shift says:
    July 8, 2022 at 6:59 am

    A black South Side Chicago pastor seems to feel that the gratuitous daily casual black-on-black criminal-on-criminal violence there should receive the same level of compassion and public outcry as the parade attendees at Highland Park and the murdered schoolchildren at Uvalde.

    All is to be seen through the filter of blacks being eternal hapless victims of circumstance entitled to the perpetual chips on their shoulders.

    I beg to differ.

    In the words of The Coasters: “Why is everybody always pickin’ on me?”

    https://www.foxnews.com/us/highland-park-shooting-chicago-pastor-calls-justice-violence-ridden-community-south-side

    1. Shift says:
      July 8, 2022 at 9:03 am

      I might add: TWO, in other words, HALF of The Coasters were shot and killed.  King Curtis, the sax-player on their records, was stabbed to death.

    2. Carl Panzram says:
      July 8, 2022 at 11:49 am

      Blacks like making violence all about them all the time now. Saw some dolt whining that the idiot here would have been killed had he been black. Killed by who? His gang members or rivals? Killed for putting too much mayonnaise on a sandwich by a random black? Would he have even lived as long as he had if he were black? Black narcissism, especially as they are the ones killing each other, is beyond tiresome now.

      1. Shift says:
        July 8, 2022 at 2:05 pm

        Amen.  Narcissism- the other n-word.  Pure and unadulterated.  A white guy shot some white people.  Reminds me of how persecuted I am.  So does mayonnaise.

        1. DissesMyIsland says:
          July 10, 2022 at 12:34 am

          Thread winner.

           

          Gottta agree w our dark homo sapiem (?) Bretheren on this one…mayonaise: whats the use?

          1. Shift says:
            July 10, 2022 at 7:58 am

            Hello?  Potato salad?  Gotta admit I go through a lot.  While listening to my Pat Boone records.

  16. Ralphus The Sex Dwarf says:
    July 8, 2022 at 4:42 pm

    I think the answer may be even simpler than the wearily plausible gallery that Mr. Goad presents: “…his father, a former mayoral candidate…” Highland Park is a very affluent, sniffy, snooty Chicago suburb. The only other ‘musician’ of any note it has ever produced is Paul ‘Blag Dahlia’ Cafaro, the musical producer and singer for scumpunk band The Dwarves, and an upper-middle-class fake punk poser.

    The druggie-burnout-looking birdface wackjob in this article seems to me like he could be just another spoiled rich brat rebelling against his political daddy, and has gone off the deep end in doing so. As for his politics, well, he’s clearly die-curious, so, no matter what your politics, left or right, he’ll shoot you anyway. It’s all just tragic, and disgusting, and pathetic, and depressing. As usual.

  17. Shift says:
    July 9, 2022 at 4:39 am

    Oops.

    https://nypost.com/2022/07/08/highland-park-gunman-robert-crimos-mom-once-assaulted-his-dad-with-shoe-screwdriver-cops-mom-assaulted-dad/

    1. Shift says:
      July 9, 2022 at 8:35 am

      So it wasn’t Leave It To Beaver.

  18. J Webb says:
    July 11, 2022 at 1:57 pm

    While perhaps Mr. Goad doesn’t appreciate being called a ‘moderate’ I can appreciate his take on this incident that shows flawed reasoning that comes from both sides of the aisle.  I’m skeptical of those who want to turn to a “society made him do it”.  We are all exposed to the same society and yet only a fraction of it acts out…. Isn’t that a major theme of this here website?  I will be surprised if we see tons of friends and relatives come forth to issue statements of, “He was so totally normal, I just don’t understand how he snapped.”  20-30 years ago he would have been a depressed or otherwise mentally unwell kid hanging out with the goth crowd.  His generation is of the ‘aspiring rapper’ type, he of especially poor judgment trying to be a white guy rapper.  I’m reminder of the character Ziggy Sobotka from ‘The Wire’, a well drawn, well acted ticking time bomb.  When you find someone with as many issues as this kid, its not unusual to find some clues in one of the parents, in this case his screwdriver wielding mom – genetic or environmental influences aside.  When you don’t fit it, there are plenty of internet subcultures to subscribe to and aspire to.

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