1,140 words

Chaz Bono. Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Although she opted to surgically guillotine her bazooms, the stubbly tattooed blobfish born Chastity Sun Bono has no penis and has yet to fill and pave over her vagina with cement, so I refuse to refer to that mortally confused woman as “he.” There ain’t no wiener in that there sausage factory, and thus anyone who insists “Chaz Bono is a man” or “He was born that way” is either a liar, an idiot, or a lying idiot. Baby Bono has no boner, and she could mainline enough testosterone to where she looks like Haystacks Calhoun, but she will forever remain a chick—a hideously mutant sac of celebrity DNA gone wrong, sure—but still a chick.
I have no clue if it’s because her parents forced her to cross-dress at an early age or whether Sonny Bono had a weird habit of calling his daughter “Fred.” I know not whether it’s because, straight out of the womb, she lacked the star power and nearly perfect navel of her mother Cher. What seems certain is that at some point she fell under the delusion that she was former Van Halen bass player Michael Anthony trapped inside the body of a talentless, Oxycontin-addled female college dropout. The fact that she continues to act on this delusion is not evidence of a brave man making a bold journey of self-actualization; it’s proof of a frightened, disturbed woman desperately fleeing from herself.
That didn’t stop the freak-fellating mainstream media from rushing to “his” defense when it was announced that the adipose monstrosity who legally changed her name to Chaz Salvatore Bono would be a contestant on a new season of Dancing With the Stars, assuming the male role alongside the certifiably female hoofer Lacey Schwimmer. A reviewer said that Chaz’s decision to flaunt her flabby armpits on the program “shows guts.” Truth is, Chaz Bono shows guts wherever she appears. A girdle has yet to be fashioned that can begin to conceal her guts.
After a predictable backlash from uptight moms, Chaz waddled to her own defense and belched to ABC News that “America really needs to see this.” Sorry, John Candy, Jr., but this is the last thing America needs to see. Her publicist Howard Bragman said, “The sky will not fall when Chaz Bono dances.” No, but the dance floor might cave in. One can only hope that the physically inactive activist’s uterus won’t fall out during an especially vigorous foxtrot.
Since Chaz is now a “man,” Chaz is no longer a lesbian, and her longtime oyster-gobbling partner Jennifer Elia has suddenly ceased to be a dyke and is now a heterosexual woman, and anyone who does not accept this charade at face value is automatically a bigot.
To enter the world of the “transgendered” is to dip one’s unsuspecting toes into a rancid bowl of alphabet soup filled with “auto- gynephiles” and “genderqueers” and “F2Ms” and “M2Fs.” It is to watch the “pangendered” engage in rhetorical turf wars with the “gender fluid” while the “gender dysphoric” sit in the corner and cry. It is to observe the “pre-ops” seethe with jealousy toward the “post-ops” while “apotemnophiles” try to bum cigarettes from “drag kings.” Most enjoyably, it is to watch third-wave feminists mud-wrestling with second-wavers over whether men ever have a right to become women.

You can buy Jim Goad’s book Gender Psychosis here
There’s no need for so many divisive labels. I have a word for all of these people. That word is “confused.”
But that’s because I’m a backwards-thinking, hate-filled, homophobic/transphobic bigot whose honest opinions are likely to soon be reclassified as some form of mental illness. Ironically, it wasn’t long ago that most psychologists depicted homosexuality as a sign of mental illness. In 1973, when little Chastity Bono was four years old, the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Over the past decade, there’s been a worldwide push among headshrinkers to depict transsexuality as perfectly normal, too. In another generation, I imagine that mental-health professionals will deem the act of stitching a dolphin snout onto one’s face to be a sign of psychological well-being.
The left has a queer tendency to mistake ideas for reality and reality for ideas. That’s the only way they could swallow the notion that what’s inside Chaz Bono’s head makes her a man while what Mother Nature tucked between her legs is irrelevant. It’s such through-the-looking-glass thinking that enables them to believe America is riddled with hang-ups about Chaz Bono rather than the obvious fact that Chaz Bono is hung-up about herself.
It’s also what allows them to peddle such obviously fraudulent ideas that race doesn’t exist but that racism is everywhere. Still, if I insisted I was actually a black man trapped inside a white dude’s body, they’d probably tell me to seek counseling. They’re piss-poor at covering all the bases with their magical thinking.
In their fantasy world where feelings are more important than flesh, they cheerlead Chaz Bono in her seemingly interminable quest to become more comfortable with herself, no matter how uncomfortable it makes everyone else. Rather than viewing Chaz’s “journey” as ugly exhibitionism, they depict her chubby feet as treading a golden pathway of life-affirming empowerment. It isn’t a televised mental breakdown; it’s a transformation, an unfolding, a blossoming. They’ve enabled her to become so self-absorbed, she’s swollen to mammoth proportions. They’ve allowed her to become so enormous—both in her body and in her head—that no closet on Earth could ever hold her.
Anyone who objects isn’t merely objecting—they’re a “hater.” As is their style, the Love Brigade aims far more hate and dehumanizing terminology at the “haters” than the haters would ever bother to aim at them. The reason that transsexuals’ unemployment rate is twice the national average has nothing to do with their possibly erratic behavior—it’s the unremitting HATE of the genitally normal. The reason that two out of five trannies attempt suicide isn’t because they’re messed-up in the head—it’s because everyone else is. Whether or not she’s quickly booted from Dancing With the Stars, Chaz Bono will continue to feel hurt, hated, and misunderstood because that appears to be a huge part of Chaz’s personality—perhaps its dominant component.
What a painful and arduous journey it must be to have the luxury of spending your entire life “becoming” yourself. Chaz is still becoming Chaz and will keep taking injections to become what Chaz has always been. Chaz may someday get more surgery to become what Chaz always was in the first place. One would have thought that Chaz, if Chaz actually were Chaz, would stop becoming Chaz and just be Chaz. But Chaz, in trying to become Chaz, has ensured that will never happen.
If she’d only remained Chastity Bono, she’d be far truer to her real self. She wouldn’t be nearly as ugly, either.
(Written in 2011 and republished in the 2020 book Gender Psychosis)
The%20Best%20of%20Jim%20Goad%0AThe%20Emperorand%238217%3Bs%20New%20Body%0A
Share
Enjoyed this article?
Be the first to leave a tip in the jar!
13 comments
Glad to have you back! You came out swinging!
Not back yet. These are weekly reposts from Jim’s past work while he takes a break from writing.
Did he make a statement and say he will be back? I was afraid he was done for good.
Fred Reed seems to have stopped. I missed any parting statement.
I don’t think Jim’s made any statement, but I expect it won’t be too long. Writing’s what he does. You can always email him if you want: https://www.jimgoad.net/contact/
Fred Reed announced his retirement, though I don’t remember if it was published at Counter-Currents. You can see his final farewell here: https://fredoneverything.org/a-farewelll/
“There’s no need for so many divisive labels. I have a word for all of these people. That word is ‘confused’.”
So true, Jim!
School board members were chiding me for “lacking respect” for trans people. I announced that: I did not have respect for them, because respect is earned, & I didn’t “respect” confusion;
However, I could be polite (unlike many of them).
This article from 2011 is proof that the Five Monkey club is doubling down on the fringes of what humans will accept. Simon Sheppard saw it coming and referenced one of the experiments:
https://www.heretical.com/sgs-2018/5monkeys.html
Because the experiment is so explosive, the link is continually moved to show the level of “instantaneous conformity” people exhibit when they are in unfamiliar surroundings. Here’s the current location:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOvDMGLaQpU
Nationalists of all stripes need to be aware of, and use, the idea that people have very plastic attitudes even when it’s a fairly unstressful, but still strange, situation. This is useful information.
Notice how, (as usual), it’s the White male who holds out the longest in the non-conformity test!
And the Jewish psychologists (as usual) are always warning about the risks of repeating past wrongs. Almost like it’s a script…
From wiki, Stanley Milgram, of the infamous (contrived/tainted) Milgram conformity experiment:
“Alexandra stated that Milgram’s Jewish identity led to his focus on the Holocaust and his obedience-to-authority research.[20] He shared this as well with Herbert Winer, one of his obedience study subjects, who noted after speaking to Milgram about the experiment that “Milgram was very Jewish. I was Jewish. We talked about this. There was obviously a motive behind neutral research.”
All of these “shock video research experiments” got popular after Allen Funt started airing uncomfortable social situations on Candid Camera, such as reactions to interracial dates, etc. Occidental Observer had a good article about how Funt eventually went on to produce porny stuff in 1970 (i.e. What Do You Say to a Naked Lady?) once all things non sexual were no longer shocking.
I ran into one of these freaks at the gym a few weeks ago. She was doing “seated cable rows” and when she had finished and swiveled around, where once was a smooth feminine chin—sprouted a full grown goatee! 🤮
There’s no need for so many divisive labels. I have a word for all of these people. That word is “confused.”
I know this was just a joke, but some of the labels (such as autogynephile) are useful and have been resisted by the trans movement because they allow ‘normies’ to understand what’s actually going on.
Ray Blanchard’s thesis is that the vast majority of male to female transsexuals are either autogynephilic (attracted to the idea of themselves as a woman, embodying feminine traits, etc.) or homosexual (effeminate gay men who wish they were women due to the obvious social benefits of being a straight woman vs a gay man).
Autogynephiles are often severely porn addicted, narcissistic and sometimes genuinely misogynistic. Not in the ‘microagressions way’ – these people will do things to women that 95% of straight men never would. There are many women who have written about the abuse they experienced while living with autogynephilic partners.
As for FTMs, they now outnumber MTFs (an inversion of historical norms). Their dysphoria stems from a wider variety of sources.
– Butch lesbians whose reasons are similar to homosexual male MTFs
– Autohomoerotic gender dysphoria. These women are addicted to things like yaoi and fetishize gay male relationships.
– Autistic women who fall into the ideology (many ‘ROGD’ cases show signs of autism).
– Women who have been sexually assaulted, emotionally abused, etc. These women associate femininity with trauma and dissociate from it.
– Women whose dysphoria has no clear source, in some cases it fades with time.
Androgynous intersexed gynandromorphs. Did him/her’s mom fight Riply in Aliens as well?? jesus christ, this shit is mindsplittingly frustrating. When Dustin Runnels first debuted as Goldust I thought that was weird enough. Sonny would’ve crashed into the tree on purpose if he only knew.
There is no such thing as a “trans-man” or a “trans-woman”. They are just perverts. The entire concept of transsexualism is just another Jewish swindle, to destroy the host nation.
Sonny Bono and Cher were both talented performers. Chaz Bono is not. It’s a freak. I can understand “regression to the mean” – that’s normal. But this is regression way past the mean, towards the utter depths of depravity. Better not to have been born than to end up like this freak.
It’s not often that one sees references to Haystacks Calhoun these days.
Lol!!! Vintage epic Goad!!!
If you have a Subscriber access,
simply login first to see your comment auto-approved.
Note on comments privacy & moderation
Your email is never published nor shared.
Comments are moderated. If you don't see your comment, please be patient. If approved, it will appear here soon. Do not post your comment a second time.