Chapo Trap House is Too White Even For Me (And I’m a White Supremacist)Travis LeBlanc
Chapo Trap House, Felix Biederman, Matt Christman, Brendan James, Will Menaker, & Virgil Texas
The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason
New York: Touchstone, 2018
Point of personal privilege . . .
Chapo Trap House is a stupid name for a podcast. It would be a stupid name for a shitty punk band. I wouldn’t even call my b-sides collection Chapo Trap House. If you ask me, I don’t know why they didn’t just call it Two Hebes, Two Dweebs, and a Chick. Short, punchy, and to the point. Tells you everything you need to know right off the bat – which is to say, “This podcast is a bunch of commie bullshit.” But I guess I’ll attempt to expand upon those eight words and do an actual review.
Get a load of these fags . . .
Originally, Chapo Trap House was two hebes (Will Menaker and Felix Biederman) and one solitary gentile dweeb, Matt Christman – three Daddy’s Money Commies from around the way. The show quickly became popular during the 2016 presidential election as the go-to place for humorous commentary from a Bernie Bro-ish perspective.
But eventually, the trio of white (and fellow white) males realized that, in these woke times, they needed some PC body armor in order to operate. Thus, Chapo Trap House took on a couple of affirmative action hires: the aforementioned chick and some Oriental guy. Subsequently, the podcast has become the intellectual epicenter of the “Dirtbag Left,” and has been influential in the recent rise of the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA). Horseshoe theorists try to paint the antifa as the Dissident Right’s evil Leftist twin, but the DSA/Dirtbag Left crowd is probably a better candidate for a Left-wing bizzaro Dissident Right. This is mainly because both movements appeal almost exclusively to white people, and when you get a bunch of white people together, certain white quirks are going to predominate.
In both camps, you see a lot of pointless ideological hairsplitting mixed in with esoteric historical minutiae, and lots of historical revisionism. While portions of the Dissident Right are obsessed with refighting the Second World War and the interwar years, the Dirtbag Left/DSA crowd have their own parallel obsessions with the Cold War, and to a lesser extent, the French Revolution (they think the Jacobins were misunderstood). And where White Nationalists have to deal with purity-spiraling wignats who think The Daily Stormer is too cucked, the DSA crowd have their own similar optics war going on with antifa tankies who are unconcerned with hearts and minds. The truth is that if you get a bunch of white people together, no matter the ideology, they will start doing white people shit. It’s unavoidable.
That said, the Dirtbag Left seems a few years behind us. While they have a large audience and online community, the Dirtbag Left has not yet metamorphosed into a full-blown subculture like the Dissident Right has. Sure, they’ve got an audience, but where is the Dirtbag Left Mr. Bond? Or the Dirtbag Left Murdoch Murdoch? To my knowledge, the Dirtbag Left has yet to create a single viral meme – with the possible exception of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who inadvertently became a meme herself.
Another thing is that the way the Chapo guys see the Democratic Party is almost a mirror image of the way the Dissident Right views the Republican Party: constantly acquiescing to the enemy while making no substantive gains for their own side. In truth, both sides are correct from their own perspectives. The Dissident Right sees itself in a cultural struggle, and so, yes, the Republican Party has allowed the culture to be taken over by amoral degenerates and Leftist radicals. But the Chapo fellows see themselves more in a material struggle, so in that sense, they are also correct in that while the Democrats have had all these social victories, at the same time they have allowed corporations, international finance, and the military-industrial complex to slowly acquire hegemonic power at the expense of the little guy.
While the Dissident Right evolved out of the chans, the Dirtbag Left grew more out of the stand-up comedy scene. Chapo-allied podcast Cum Town features New York comedians Nick Mullen and Stavros Halkias, while proto-Dirtbag Leftist podcast Last Podcast on the Left stars Ben Kissel, who spent years in the New York stand-up scene. Chapo has gained notoriety as much as a comedy podcast as a political one, and garnered an audience by hosting celebrity comics, and all the way down to open-micers, who then promote the show to their fans on social media.
Thus, from a White Nationalist perspective, the Dirtbag Left is worth considering, if for no other reason than because we are in direct competition with them for an audience. We have the same target demographic: above average-IQ whites who really dig irony, history, political theory, and all that white stuff. The Chapo guys seem to be more aware of this fact than most of the Right, quite honestly.
But besides that, we are also in competition with the Dirtbag Left for talent. As comedy becomes more oppressively PC and anti-white, a lot of white kids who may have gone into stand-up in an earlier generation may instead opt for the online scene, be it Dissident Right or Dirtbag Left. Stand-up comedy is indeed increasingly becoming No Country for White Men – but those people are going to have to go somewhere.
Comics leaving the stand-up scene to become Left-wing commentators is nothing new (see Jon Stewart), but it is a growing trend on the Right as well, with comics like Owen Benjamin, Stephen Crowder, and Anthony Cumia drifting from mainstream comedy into conservative commentary. Maybe there aren’t as many groupies to be had in being famous on the Internet as opposed to doing it old school, but at least you can be your own boss and be as edgy as you want to be (within the terms of service, of course). Meanwhile, in mainstream comedy, it’s gotten to where a single tweet from ten years ago, or even an unsubstantiated accusation, can destroy your career. Increasingly, the Internet is the place to be.
The irony is that for Leftists, Chapo Trap House is actually kind of reactionary. They hate all things “neo”: neoconservatism, neoliberalism, and neofascism. They call for the Left to return to older ways of doing things and older forms of looking at the world: in effect, to put down Ta-Nehisi Coates and go back to Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky; abandon the Colbertesque snark and return to Mr. Show’s irony; and to drop identity politics and go back to political theory and ideology. And proles, damn it – don’t forget the proles! All that identity politics flapdoodle is just a distraction from the class struggle, which has always been the true, overarching historical narrative. There is a very ‘90s vibe to what Chapo do. These are the kinds of people who voted for Ralph Nader.
This is a reoccurring theme throughout Chapo’s book: The Left has lost its way and needs to return to the way things were done in the good ol’ days, when the world was a much brighter and – not coincidentally – a much whiter place than it is today.
While Chapo Trap House’s meme is that they are a bunch of Brooklyn hipsters, this can be deceiving. For the most part, they are only Brooklyn in style. Three of the Chapo gang come from the Midwest; Will Menaker is the only bona fide New York Jew of the bunch (Christ-killer Felix Biederman is from Chicago).
There have long been comparisons made between Chapo Trap House and TRS’s flagship podcast, The Daily Shoah, not least by Mike Enoch himself, who thinks Chapo copied his mojo or something. There are reportedly a fair number of Chapo fans who listen to The Daily Shoah as a guilty pleasure, and vice versa.
What’s funny is that TRS actually is an operation run by New York hipsters (Enoch, Sven, and Striker are all from New York, and let’s not forget Fash the Nation, based out of Los Angeles), while it’s Chapo whose core comes from the conservative hinterlands of the Midwest, away from the Jewish centers of power.
Indeed, it’s Chapo’s relatively goyish style (goyish compared to, say, The Young Turks) which makes it palatable, and Chapo’s alleged “unwokeness” and willingness to criticize at least some of the excesses of the Zionist social justice mob is one their selling points.
Some of the Left’s most effective comedians have been people who came from conservative backgrounds. Bill Hicks was from Texas, David Cross is from Georgia, and Stephen Colbert came from South Carolina (although he’s long since “gone Hollywood”). The thing about Red State Lefties is that they tend to have an order of magnitude more self-awareness than your typical coastal liberal. After all, they’ve had to spend their whole lives defending what they believe, whereas a liberal can survive for years in New York or L.A.and never have to defend their beliefs. The Red State Democrat has heard all the basic bitch Republican talking points, and knows all the Rush Limbaugh/FOX News arguments and how to answer them, whereas your average New Yorker has no exposure to Right-wing ideas outside of clips played out of context on late-night talk shows.
For example, take this passage from the book, in which Chapo addresses American involvement in the subversion of Third World democracies during the Cold War and take on a common Republican talking point:
You might be saying to yourself, Hey, Professor Atheist Jew Libtard, put down the birth control pills and burning flag for one second and take the patriotic view: we were fighting a war to the death against Communism. If we hadn’t propped up our dictators, wouldn’t they have propped up their dictators and won?
Here’s a two-tiered answer. First, who cares? Pick your dictatorship: Would you rather have lived in Fidel Castro’s Cuba or in any one of the US’s many military junta police states? Second, America was usually targeting not just strongman regimes but democratic mass movements. And there was never a situation in which any American gain in yardage was a clear win against hegemonic Communism, because the Communist Bloc was already fragmented by the mid 1960s (not to mention the added players in the Third Way/Non-Aligned Movement, a crunchy co-op founded by Nehru, Tito, Sukarno, Nasser, and Nkrumah).
How many times did we act not against Communism but against anything remotely subverting capitalism? United Fruit in Latin America? Iran? Democratically-elected Chilean socialist Salvador Allende? In none of those cases were the Soviets to be seen.
That’s the writing of someone who has spent some time around average conservatives. Most liberals would not bother to take the time out of their narrative to address enemy counter-arguments, but Chapo are out to change minds, not just lecture people.
However, there are limits to Chapo’s alleged unwokefulness. They are, of course, strident race deniers with a penchant for trolling race-realists with jokes about phrenology. This is the equivalent of trying to dunk on an evolutionary scientist with Piltdown Man memes. People can be right for the wrong reasons.
In a recent Spiked interview, the chick from Chapo Trap House elaborated on the Chapoist interpretation of human biodiversity:
We invented race to justify exploitation. Splitting people on the basis of race was used to morally justify slavery . . . Racial discourse was created after hyper-exploitation.
Whoa, hold up there, sister. Who had to justify what to whom? We’re talking about sixteenth-century absolute monarchies that ruled by divine right and didn’t have to justify shit to anyone. What exactly were they afraid would have happened if they hadn’t thought of a good enough reason to enslave Africans? That the peasantry would rise up? That the military would mutiny? That the nobility would overthrow him for a more SJW monarch? That the Church would excommunicate them (I’m not even sure Christianity officially forbids slavery)? I’m sorry, Toots, but you’re gonna have to “who, whom” me on this little theory of yours.
As an aside, the chick from Chapo Trap House is a hapa, so when she says “we invented race,” she is pulling a “my fellow whites.”
When we tried to not be racist, we ended up using the same framework, which today also lives on in identitarian form. All “race” is, is that some people don’t sunburn. That’s the entirety of racial difference.
Yeah, other than racial differences in skin color, hair texture , bone structure, muscle density, hormonal levels, brain size, average IQ, age of female sexual maturity, disease immunities and susceptibilities, allergies, lactose tolerance, the fact that the various human races interbred with Neanderthals and other hominids at substantially different rates, and – let us not forget – the ability to sunburn, race is purely a social construct with no basis in biological fact. For Pete’s sake, there is more evidence to support God’s existence than there is to support the idea that all races are equal. I mean, Fatima once happened, but there has never been a scientific study showing that all races have equal intelligence.
This is what you get with affirmative action.
I think the Chapo crew know damn well what the truth about race is. They are frankly too smart not to know. And Chapo “get” what White Nationalism is about better than about ninety-nine percent of the Left, and even a large portion of the Right (though they may choose to play dumb when it suits them). Take this passage:
This is only the beginning. Trump himself, with his Heritage Foundation brain trust and Goldman Sachs cabinet, may look like a creampuff compared to the next generation of Republican demagogues who take the bloodthirsty, nativist, white-power ideology far more seriously.
Unlike the mainstream media, who have written countless obituaries of “the Alt Right” (only to say in the next breath that “white supremacy” is the gravest threat to the nation), Chapo do not see White Nationalism going away anytime soon, and understand that it is a phenomenon independent of Trump. This is in contrast to the mainstream Left, who like to believe that Trump is some kind of sorcerer who has his flock spellbound, and that if only they could just get him out of the way, the spell will be broken, and then the deplorables will wake up and say, “Dear God, what am I doing? A strange sensation came over me and I started supporting my own racial interests!”
The book isn’t a bad read. Sometimes it’s funny or genuinely clever. They’ve got some critiques of capitalism and globalism that aren’t half-bad. But even when Chapo are at their best, they are only ever half-right, because the other half is avoiding talking about the Jews.
Corrupt systems, not corrupt people
Chapo Trap House would like you to know that they are not liberals. They are Leftists. There is a difference, and they spend a whole chapter explaining what that is. Good luck making that distinction a thing, guys. That’s like if I went around calling myself a Francoist. “Look, just because I’m an anti-Semite doesn’t mean I’m a ‘Nazi’. You see, there were actually several important distinctions between the Spanish Falange Party and the German National Socialist movement. For one . . .” No one cares. To everyone else in the world, I am a Nazi. Likewise, Chapos, you can call yourselves “Leftists” all you want. Hell, you could call yourself a pumpkin pie, but to everyone else, y’all are a bunch of faggy liberals. Ideologies are not like gender pronouns, where you can expect people to respect your chosen label. When it comes to ideologies, people call you whatever the fuck they want, and there’s really nothing you can do about it. But still, good luck with that.
So what does it mean to be a Leftist but not a liberal? To begin, when people talk about “culture,” the Chapo gang reach for their revolvers:
For a long time people had a crude but basically correct understanding of culture’s relationship to politics: Marx’s idea that the “superstructure” of society – law, morality, and culture – arises out of the economic meat grinder hidden underneath, the “base.” This rough version of the theory gets criticized as simplistic, and to be fair, it is: there are all kinds of inputs and outputs that determine culture, and there’s plenty of good criticism of this bastardized version of Marx. Still, as far as we’re concerned, it’s always better to err on the side of this crude theory than to go in the opposite direction, the For Dummies version of Antonio Gramsci: the idea that a nation’s culture is self-reinforcing and affects all other walks of life, so if you change the culture, you can change the political reality.
The correct answer is that culture is nature expressing itself, but that’s a rather sophisticated concept, and Chapo are scientifically illiterate race-deniers, and even if they weren’t, their ideology demands that they believe (or at least claim to believe) that all humans of whatever group are interchangeable cogs. So of course, they would disagree . . .
I was once Facebook friends with someone who was into the whole Dirtbag Left scene. He had started in stand-up but then drifted into that world as it allowed him to flex his humor muscles, but also his big-brained commie takes which would have gone over the heads of drunk, low-IQ comedy club patrons. The Dirtbag Left was a better venue for his full skill set than the stage. This fellow described himself as a “materialist,” and the last I heard, he was doing a podcast about how rich people are bad. He was a bright guy and legitimately funny; anti-racist as they come, but stridently anti-Zionist. The most frustrating thing about his takes was how he would occasionally come so close to the truth, but then, at the last moment, veer off in the completely wrong direction.
One time, he was talking about how “it’s those darned bankers who are screwing over the working class, and those confounded pharmaceutical countries are getting rich destroying the lives of honest proles, and the no-good media’s not reporting on any of it. We’re starting all these wars in the Middle East and selling weapons to Saudi Arabia, and yadda, yadda, yadda.” As I was reading it, I was shaking my head and thinking, “He’s about to name the Jew.” But then, without fail, he would veer off into retarded shit about capitalism or “neofascism” or whatever.
So I would respond with, “Bro, just who are these bankers? I mean, who owns these banks? And who owns the pharmaceutical companies? What do the Sacker Family and Teva Pharmaceuticals have in common? And just who owns all these media companies that refuse to report on it? And who is really pushing for all these wars in the Middle East? Do you think the average American cares who is running the show in Syria? Well, someone does – but who? And who would you say is Saudi Arabia’s biggest ally in the region?” My materialist acquaintance was well aware of what I was getting at, but he only replied, “I prefer to think in terms of corrupt systems, not corrupt people.” While I think my response (“Why not both?”) was adequate, maybe I should have said something like, “Okay, so instead of Jews, what if our media and financial institutions were controlled by, let’s say, Belgians. Do you really believe that we would still be in the same situation? Do you really believe that even if Belgians were running the show that the system, by its very nature, would still inevitably lead to wars in the Middle East which, by sheer coincidence, happen to benefit Israel’s strategic interests? Do you believe the system is doing that?”
Thinking in terms of systems is something you’re supposed to eventually grow out of. On the Right, it’s something most of us got over during our libertarian phases, when we realized that as bright and shiny as the libertarian utopia might have appeared in our imaginations, there were unavoidable cultural reasons for why it was impossible to realize. Maturity is accepting that there are racial and cultural realities that cannot be corrected no matter how much you tweak the system, and wisdom is understanding that it’s a lot easier to encourage bad behavior than it is to encourage good behavior. At some point, people have to want to eat their veggies. It is this cultural blind spot which makes the Dirtbag Left attractive to young whites, but it is also why the Dirtbag Left is doomed.
Chapoism is attractive to young whites because being a Chapoist requires a great deal less white self-loathing than the explicitly anti-white neoliberal Left does. Whereas the neoliberals see whites in particular as the primary villain in their narratives, a Chapoist sees the capitalist system as their primary nemesis. True, the Chapoist agrees with most of the neoliberal’s racial oppression narratives, that race is a social construct, and that the only reason blacks have not thrived is because of white racism and all that. The difference is that while the neoliberal says whites do bad things because whites are inherently evil, the Chapoist would say that capitalism is an evil system which, by its very nature, just makes people do bad things, and the fact that whites are at the head of the capitalist machine is more or less incidental.
Being against identity politics is identity politics
Chapo are known for being the Left-wingers who don’t like identity politics. To the DSA/Chapoist, identity politics is a distraction that keeps people from thinking in terms of systems and understanding big-picture politics, class conflict, and all that other commie bullshit. But let’s face it. The reason why most white people don’t like identity politics is because they don’t get to do it. If they could do identity politics, they would love it, because it delivers results.
Thus, when a white person advocates against identity politics, they are actually engaging in identity politics themselves, because they know that a society where no one practices identity politics would be more beneficial to white people than the status quo, which is a society where everyone gets to practice identity politics except white people. Only a non-white can truly take a principled stand against identity politics. A white person who opposes identity politics is just advocating for their own group advantage – which is identity politics.
In a world where everyone gets to practice identity politics but you, a white person has two options: join the Dissident Right and say, “Screw you, I’m going to practice identity politics anyway,” or you can lose yourself in ideology. People of Color (POCs) tend not to be ideologues. Why would a POC get into some one-size-fits-all universalist ideology whose leaders and intellectuals are outsiders when there is identity politics custom-tailored to their tastes and interests?
Let’s face it: Being a commie is a very white thing to be
The Dirtbag Left movement evolved out of/in tandem with the 2016 Bernie Bro Zeitgeist. The 2015-2016 Bernie Sanders phenomenon was an implicitly white movement espousing white values rooted in Enlightenment principles and advocating issues of interest to whites (college debt forgiveness, corporate corruption, etc.). While I’m sure there’s all sorts of ideological differences between pre-sellout Bernie and orthodox Chapoism, I think it’s safe to say that they appeal to roughly the same demographic.
To get a feel for just who those people are, let’s see who showed up at Bernie Sanders’ rallies in 2015-2016. But not just any Bernie Sanders rally; let’s see who showed up at Sanders rallies when he was in the blackest states in the Union. This should be fun.
Here is Bernie Sanders speaking in Georgia, a state which is 31.4% black:
Here’s who came out to see Bernie Sanders in Alabama, a state where the skies are so blue, the governor is true, and the population is 26.38% black:
South Carolina, 28.48% black:
Louisiana, 32.4% black:
Maryland, 30.1% black:
And before you feel like getting cute, the above picture was taken in Baltimore, which in 2010 was 63.7% black and only 29.6% white.
Mind you, that’s how black the state is. The percentage of blacks in the Democratic Party in those states is much higher; well over fifty percent in many Deep South states. And double mind you, that’s just how black the state is. The total percentage of all POCs is surely even higher still.
And yet despite the colorblind nature of Bernie’s socialist ideology, despite his totally-not-racist platform, and despite his unassailable Civil Rights street cred (he marched with MLK), Bernie’s socialist ideas seem to resonate almost exclusively with white people.
Here’s a fun fact a lot of people don’t know: Bernie Sanders actually won the white Democratic vote in 2016 – meaning he won more votes from white people than Hillary did. Hell, if only white people had voted in 2016, Bernie Sanders may very well be President right now. The fact is that Hillary needed POCs to put her over the top for the nomination.
Thus, even if all of Chapo’s commie narratives and ideas were correct, it would still make sense for them to advocate for an immigration policy to maintain and strengthen white demographic dominance, as whites are the only people who actually care about their ideas. Or at least, that should be their priority until they take power or find a way to sell their ideas to people who “ain’t got no time for some old-ass white book-talkin’ muthafucka” in statistically significant numbers. But for reasons that would take an article at least twice as long as this one to explain, that is never going to happen. If Chapo care about their ideas and values, then they need to care about the only demographic that likes them in statistically significant numbers.
For example, Chapo are convinced that global warming is an existential threat (yet also believe that the evidence for race and IQ correlation is inconclusive), and that doomsday is a-comin’ unless we do something, and quick:
Of course, no roster of anticipatable apocalypses would be complete without the total ecological collapse caused by climate change. It turns out that two centuries of spewing industrial effluvium into the atmosphere to power the modern world wasn’t without its consequences. At the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere was around 280 PPM. As of this writing, we’re over 410 PPM and rising. The concentration limit needed to prevent irreversible ecological damage is, uh, way less than that.
And yet who is the only demographic that treats global warming as a serious threat?
For a good proxy for showing who cares about climate change, let’s take a look at who showed up to the 2017 March for Science rallies. These were well-funded, promoted, and publicized events, and climate change was one of their major themes.
Here’s who showed up to the March for Science rally in Philadelphia, a city which is only 39.9% non-Hispanic white:
You get the picture.
But it begs the question: When whites have become a minority and have lost control of the country’s destiny, do the Chapoists really trust that our new brown overlords will make climate change a priority? Or do they think that perhaps our new colored gentleman-statesmen might be a little more concerned with getting dem reparations than they will be with paying thirty bucks a gallon for gas? Because if the above photos say anything, it’s that while white people are willing to drive hundreds of miles to these stupid rallies to show their support for dealing with climate change, POCs by and large are not even willing to cross the street to do it.
At this point, you might be asking, “But Trav! What about the DSA’s star player, the famously Latina Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Isn’t she a big-time non-white commie?” AOC is indeed a Latina (on paper), but I have to wonder how much she actually identifies with that group. True, her parents were Puerto Rican immigrants, but they were also Evangelical Protestants, which is an Anglo-American form of Christianity greatly at odds with the Catholicism practiced by most Hispanics. And everyone knows that Protestants can’t be Hispanic. It’s like being Irish. An Irishman immediately turns Scottish the moment he converts to Protestantism. A Hispanic turns into . . . I dunno what, but definitely doesn’t remain Hispanic. All true Irish and Hispanics are Catholic, and anything else is an off-brand knockoff. In a sane world, none of this would be controversial. But for what it’s worth, AOC currently claims to be Catholic (no doubt for political reasons) – but I highly doubt she could recite the Nicene Creed from memory even with a gun to her head.
On top of this, AOC’s social circle appears to be overwhelmingly white, and she exclusively dates white men. Whatever her actual ethnicity, AOC treats white people as if they are her in-group.
If we White Nationalists think we have a tough road ahead of us, the DSA crowd has an even steeper one. As I think I have established, both appeal almost exclusively to white people, and in this sense, white demographic decline will be bad for both sides. However, we have one advantage over the DSA. While the percentage of whites in the country will decrease, the percentage of whites in the Republican Party will remain more constant. The GOP will always be an overwhelmingly white thing for the foreseeable future. Thus, White Nationalism’s influence within the Republican Party can only grow over time. While the long-term goal of saving the country for white people may look bleak, the short-term goal of becoming the dominant ideology within the Republican Party is quite feasible. The only question is whether we can achieve that goal fast enough.
Conversely, the problem for the DSA is that they only appeal to white people, yet white people are becoming a progressively smaller proportion of the Democratic Party. So not only is there a ceiling to their support, that ceiling gets lower and lower as their base within the Democratic Party is shrinking. Therefore, even if the DSA became the ideology of choice for white Democrats, they would still end up losing more and more influence within the Democratic Party over time. Plus, there’s the trend towards “progressive stacking,” which compounds their problems further. Thus, the DSA either has to gain power within the Democratic Party very soon, or else get really good at reverse red-pilling white Republicans.
Whites will lose control of the Democratic Party before they completely lose control of the country, and if the 2016 primary is any indication, it’s arguable that whites have already lost control of it. The future of the Democratic Party is that it will soon become all too common for Democratic primaries to descend into race wars between the “social justice” candidates favored by POC Democrats versus the principled ideologues favored by whites. I mean, what the fuck do these Chapo clowns think is going to happen? Do they really believe that any day now, all these POCs are going to skip the Cardi B and Tyler Perry movies and start reading Marx? Chapo Trap House live in a world where they believe this is a realistic possibility.
So there’s my review of Chapo Trap House’s book. To sum up, they’re a bunch of fags (even the chick), and their book is a bunch of commie bullshit. And yet, strangely, I can’t find it in me to hate them. They are so doomed that I guess I’m a sucker for the underdog.
Epilogue: An open letter to Matt Christman (the only white male gentile in Chapo Trap House)
Bro, you gotta lose the Jews. They’re holding you back.
Look, I know you and I are technically enemies. It would appear that fate has placed us on opposite sides of the political chessboard. In another era, things might have been different between us. Who knows? We may even have been friends. But in this world, the one into which Providence has thrust us, this is just the way it has to be.
Matt, you and I may not have much in common, what with you being a commie fag and me being all cool and everything. But I want you to know that, while not a whole lot makes sense anymore in this crazy topsy-turvy world, there is one thing that I know for sure: It’s that, despite everything – despite you being a commie fag and a traitor to your nation and race – you’re still my white gentile brother, and I still care about you. You and I may not agree on much, but we are both children of Europa, and that’s a bond stronger than any of that commie bullshit you’ve been ramming in your noodle. As a child of Europa like yours truly, you are metaphorically my mother’s son and deserving of the modicum of respect that deserves. So I want to speak directly to you, Matt, gentile to gentile.
I may be an asshole in a lot of ways, but you know that I would never attempt to deceive or lead astray a fellow white gentile. As a white supremacist, that would completely go against my own personal code of ethics. I might hoodwink a Jew, but I would never hoodwink you.
The reason I’m telling you all this is so you can be confident that I am completely sincere and have nothing but your best interests at heart when I say that you absolutely have to lose the Jews. I am not deliberately trying to sow division between the Jew and gentile factions of Chapo Trap House to advance my own political goals. I would never do that to you, my white gentile brother.
All I’m saying, Matt, is that you are clearly the star of Chapo Trap House. The other guys are okay(-ish) at backing you up, but everyone knows you’re “the talent” of the enterprise. Those Jews may have brains, but it’s your beautiful, goyish soul which gives Chapo Trap House its essence. Without you, those Jews would be nothing. They’d be playing comedy clubs in Peoria. They need your goyish touch. But without those Jews, Matt, you probably would have overthrown capitalism by now.
I’m sure you noticed things. You’ve noticed how Will Menaker and Felix Biederman are always sneaking off to conspire with one another, or how sometimes you’ll hear them laughing and chatting away in another room, but then they stop talking whenever you or any other gentile comes in. Look, I get it, and I know that on some level, however subconscious, you get it, too. You know that some Jew shit is going on.
But do you know what they are always talking about, Matt? They’re talking about how to hold you back, because they know you are the star of Chapo Trap House – but they don’t want you to know. That’s what Jews are all about. It’s about trying to keep the goyim’s head from getting too big. They know they cannot survive without you, so they are subverting you to keep you from getting too big and leaving them behind. It’s time to go solo. Hell, you could even take the dog-eater along to be your non-white sidekick (like Tonto), or if you just need someone to chauffeur you around town by rickshaw. See? I’m an open-minded guy.
But it is absolutely imperative that you lose the Jews as soon as possible. It’s time that you stood up to them, and stopped letting them boss you around and hijack the show which is rightfully yours.
Let me tell you what will happen if you don’t lose the Jews. One of these days, Will and Felix are going to start doing some hardcore Jew shit. I’m not going to elaborate and speculate on what. We’re all grown-ups here. We all know what Jews are like, and are all familiar with the kinds of things Jews do. I don’t think anyone needs me to spell it out for them. You are not going to want to be anywhere near when that happens, because people are going to get very angry. And guess who the fall guy’s going to be, Matt? Go on, Matt. Guess. Who do the Jews always blame their misdeeds on? The goyim, that’s who.
Lose the Jews, Matt.
 In TRS’s defense, the stereotypical Brooklyn hipster is almost always a transplant. Native Brooklynites rarely fit the stereotype unless they are Jewish. Hipsterdom is in fact a Jewish conspiracy. They got tired of gentiles being cooler than them, so they changed the definition of “cool” to make it mean them. Think of the qualities of a stereotypical hipster, and they are the same as that of a stereotypical Jew: weak, nebbish, effeminate, slightly neurotic and obsessive, but with above average verbal IQ. Cark Gable was cool. Steve McQueen was cool. But Jew could complete with smooth Daddy-Os like that? So they had to change the rules of the game to make acting like Woody Allen become the definition of cool.
 Chapo Trap House, Felix Biederman, Matt Christman, Brendan James, Will Menaker, & Virgil Texas, The Chapo Guide to Revolution: A Manifesto Against Logic, Facts, and Reason (New York: Touchstone, 2018), pp. 20-21.
 Ibid., p. 139.
 Ibid., p. 204.
 Ibid., p. 41.
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