NAXALT Stole My Bike  

872 words

There are outliers. There are extraordinary people who are physical freaks of nature imbued with innate attributes like Larry Bird, Shawn Bradley, Nolan Ryan, Wayne Gretzky, Connor McDavid, or Bill Buckner (who may or may not have opened a chain of laundromats). These are athletes that come around every generation or so. There are dreadfully ugly people like Chicago’s former mayor Lori Lightfoot and breathtakingly beautiful track athletes like Alicia Schmidt. There are geniuses and morons. In the middle of the spectrum, averages do exist: there are mean IQs, and physical characteristics that are prevalent across groups. On average, the Dutch are tall, Germans are good at engineering, the Swiss have automatic rifles in their picturesque mountainside homes, and black Africans are adept at throwing acid at school children.

Every once in awhile there’s some low IQ group that produces a playwright who writes something like An Ode to My Kia Sorento, Dat I Done Stole. But that doesn’t mean the vast majority of Kia Boys can read. That’s what the NAXALT argument is all about: it stands for Not All [insert group name here] Are Like That. The NAXALT argument suggests that these outliers are exemplars of the group as a whole. They’re not, they’re the exception.

For example, an African who moved to Ireland was lauded and fawned over by the leftist Irish press. What a fine example of a black man making a name for himself as a model and integrating seamlessly into our Emerald Isle, they said. He complained about black stereotypes while he was at it, too. Seemingly, he was the perfect NAXALT example; but lo and behold, there was a regression to the mean: he was convicted of rape and sentenced to four years in jail.

If you’ve ever been to the shops lately and noticed that most brown people are stuffing watermelons and halal chicken nuggets under their shirts and walking out like they’re seven months pregnant, that’s because your trust-based society has deteriorated to the point where people just don’t care anymore. And the trust-based society and culture that white people enjoy, that we’ve taken for granted for so long, is not based on lofty ideas, it’s based on the very nature of our people. Just because your friend knows an honest black person who won’t steal from the produce section doesn’t mean having 6,000 Haitians dropped on your town is a good idea.

Some people think that sub-Saharan black Africans and their descendants now living in the United States of America are owed lots of money for having to do an honest day’s work for once. The dollar amount earmarked for these historical grievance reparations is in the tens of billions, or more depending on who you talk to. But if you really think about it, and if you account for over one hundred years of bike thefts alone, black people actually owe white people $13 Trillion USD.

We survive by noticing trends. My friend told me that, one day, a group of five Muslims walked nearby, he was chuffed to say that only four of them detonated in a fiery, suicide-vest induced blast. The shock wave from the detonation hurled my buddy into a nearby snowbank. After he picked himself up and brushed himself off, he said to himself, “That sole survivor, who is now wandering around in a concussed daze, should be awarded the Order of Canada. We should encourage more Muslim immigration to our country because not all Muslims are explosive.”

Much to my chagrin, that’s exactly what happened. Incidentally, the surviving Mohammedan was given a tenure-track professorship at the University of Toronto. Shortly thereafter, his lecture hall was destroyed in an unrelated terrorist attack. I am being facetious in this case, but there is often truth in fiction.

Just because the porcupine snuffling in your backyard compost heap is festooned with sharp quills like some sort of land-based sea urchin doesn’t mean this particular one will impale you with its genetic defences. Go ahead, give it a nice pet, it’ll be fine.

Even though there’ve been rumours that Sean “Diddy” Combs’ parties have the widespread reputation for being depraved hedonistic debauches complete with spiked drinks and memory loss, you’ve decided to attend one. Don’t worry though, your glass of champagne is probably fine. Go ahead, give it a swig, as not all champagne glasses are laced with stupefying narcotics at these parties.

Every now and again, every second day or so, someone in Europe decides that it would be a good idea to provide a home for an Afghan asylum seeker because they couldn’t possibly be warlike and alien now, could they? No, they’re just like us. Then after a day or two, said asylum seeker stabs everyone and everything in sight with a kitchen knife.

It just goes to show that NAXALT gets people killed. Stereotypes are pretty accurate most of the time. Pattern recognition helps us navigate this increasingly insane world of ours. The powers that be would have us wander around like zombies ignorant of general trends and patterns of behaviour exhibited by the non-whites in our countries. Don’t fall for the NAXALT zombies and their lies, you’re too smart for that.

Oh, and lock up your bike.

This article is part of the Counter-Currents NAXALT contest.