Audrey Hale (Photo from Metropolitan Nashville Police Department)
2,431 words / 16:56
Ever since the dead-eyed, boyish-looking Audrey Hale blasted her way into the Nashville Covenant School on March 27, 2023 and killed three students and three adult staffers before two cops shot her dead, the unanswered question remains: Why did she do it?
Early speculation hinged around the fact that Hale had taken to calling herself “Aiden” and that her rampage was motivated by a desire to take “trans vengeance” against a hateful transphobic society that refused to accept that she was a “he.” But where was her “Tranifesto”?
In early April 2023, the Metropolitan Nashville Police Department revealed it had seized a list of items belonging to Hale that included phones, laptops, a suicide note, and 19 journals.
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Star News Digital Media, parent company of Nashville-based conservative-leaning website The Tennessee Star, filed a lawsuit on May 9, 2023 attempting to compel the FBI to release Hale’s writings to the public. Two days later, the FBI sent a memo to Nashville police opposing the documents’ release.
In November 2023, cross-dressing conservative influencer Steven Crowder leaked three pages from Hale’s writings, the entire contents of which I have previously transcribed. One of the three pages consisted of Hale’s timeline for her “massacre,” and another appears to have been written the same day she committed the shooting. Beyond using a byline of “Aiden,” the three leaked pages didn’t mention trannies at all and instead suggested that Hale was motivated by rage against “crackers/going to fancy private schools.”
Other information that has dribbled in since the massacre painted a picture of a delusional failed artist named Audrey Hale who formed unrequited crushes on local black girls. So apart from revealing herself as an aspiring interracial lesbian, there was still almost nothing about gender dysphoria as a motivating factor in Hale’s mass shooting.
On June 5 of this year, The Tennessee Star confirmed that it had received digital images of “about 80 pages of Hale’s writings from a source close to the Covenant investigation.” The images were “of notebook pages written by Hale that were recovered from the vehicle she drove to the Covenant School.” Mind you, that leaves the contents of at least 18 other journals, as well as Hale’s phones and laptops, still unreleased.
Unlike the previous leaks, the passages culled from the journal reveal a tortured sufferer of gender psychosis with horrible spelling and an axe to grind against a society which wouldn’t accept that she was “actually” a male.
Diminutive heeb Ben Shapiro’s Daily Wire obtained screenshots of three of the recently-unveiled journal pages and, just like their former associate Steven Crowder did months ago, they made sure to plaster their watermark all over the images.
You can buy Jim Goad’s The Bomb Inside My Brain here.
Since June 5, the Star has published dozens of articles about the leaks as well as their legal struggles to compel authorities to release all of Audrey Hale’s writings.
Citing the Metro Nashville Police Department, the Star reported that Hale began receiving mental-health treatment at the Vanderbilt University Medical Center in April 2001, when she was only six years old. They also confirmed that she’d been prescribed four psychoactive medications: the antidepressant Lexapro and the anti-anxiety meds Ativan, Hydroxyzine, and Buspirone.
At the moment, there is no evidence that Hale was taking male hormones or had received any female-to-male reassignment surgery. The idea that she was actually a boy trapped in a girl’s body was all in her head.
Today — Monday June 17, 2024 — Tennessee Star editor-in-chief Michael Patrick Leahy will appear before a black female judge named I’Ashea Myles to explain why he didn’t violate a court order to keep “certain purported documents and information” under seal.
What follows is a compilation of passages gleaned from the tiny textual nuggets that the Star has already released as well as unedited, uncorrected, and sexually graphic transcripts taken from journal screenshots dated March 11, 2023 — 16 days before the Covenant School Shooting. It appears that all of the entries were written in early 2023. Based on the leaks from last November, I’ve taken the liberty of assuming that what the Tennessee Star rendered as “f*****” is actually “faggot” rather than “fucker.”
Undated Entries
Why does my brain not work right? Cause I was born wrong. . . . Nothing on earth can save me . . . never ending pain. Religion won’t save.
A terrible feeling to know I am nothing of the gender I was born of. I am the most unhappy boy alive. I wish to be dead.
I will be of no use of love for any girl if I don’t have what they need: boy’s body / male gender.
No brown girls, no love. . . . I am nothing. Brown love is the most beautiful kind.
I’ve always been different. A lot of people run away from my difference like it is the plague or something. . . . Why did God make me this way? I feel wrong. I was born wrong.
My dreams cannot be here, so I must die. I feel bad. Hurt too much. Sad all the goddamned time. Either I have too much estrogen or am just a sad, lonely boy.
The [cocoon] of my old self will die when I leave my body and the boy in me will be free; in the butterfly transformation; the real me. . . . If God won’t give me a boy body in heaven, then Jesus is a faggot.
1/19/23
EVERYTHING HURTS. . . .
A terrible feeling to know you I am nothing of the gender I was born of.
I am the most unhappy boy alive
I wish to be dead. X
1/25/23
Want butt sex a big beautiful brown girl, w/ a big ass and a small asshole
If I had a penis, it’d be big + rock hard too bad I am a sad boy born w/ a puny vagina . . .
I pay no rent or bills . . . still live [with] parents, might as well throw me in a retard home.
2/6/2023
Everything HURTS
I will be of no use of love for any girl if I don’t have what they need: boy’s body / male gender.
I am the most unhappy boy alive.
Major blow to girls; I am a boy that has no penis.
2/7/23
WHITE NOTHINGNESS
My parents aren’t rich. They work hard for [their] money so I didn’t end up homeless. Yet I still feel bad . . . poor people resent this shit. . . .
It be better to be average [and] have friends. The most brilliant people suffer the most and are the most isolated from everything they love.
2/20/23
Fuck getting old; all that BS . . . it’s infamous to die young! Dying young is my destiny . . .
I make no impact . . . all my success was overcoming my darkness. . . . I know myself / no one knew, no one knows me; this life; reality.
I am of no society. And I hate society [because] society ignores to see me. I’m a queer; I am meant to die.
It’s not everyone in the White House making criminalizing laws; it’s someone scheming. . . . And whoever he/she/they may be, they are not American [and] have no care in the world about what ‘Land of the Free’ means. Whatever faggot is taking away human rights is not of a human at all; just a robot.
So now in America, it makes one a criminal to have a gun or, be transgender, or non-binary. God I hate those shithead politicians.
Disabled have rights, civil races have rights, LGBTQ have rights, gun owners have rights.
So now [because] of you, I wish death on myself cause of the pure hatred of my female gender . . . with no rights, anyone’s country is a shitty dictatorship.
2/21/23
I was called a woman, lady, and ma’am all in the same day. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MY GENDER. EVERYTHING HURTS.
I was actually identified as a male today and it felt right but embarrassed of my female body. I SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS BODY!
3/8/23
I need a trans doctor . . . this female gender role makes me want to not exist. . . .
3/11/23
My Imaginary Penis
My penis exists in my head. I swear to god Im a male. I think about sexual fantasies, about how if my dick was real I’d fuck the girl I love in the ass. I want to know what thats like, but I never will because I was damned to be born this way. I swear to fuck I hate it goddamned so [illegible]. Its a fucking curse. Having a brain like mine has its godliness but also prone to making poor ass decisions. . . . Fuck me, man. Mom just says Im young and young people make mimstakes. But with me, its painfully more than that with being autistic and waste time all the time; myself, people, Death itself. And the biggest shit; the torchure of being raised a girl, and actually believed I just had to deal with it, and tried to be femenine. But that didn’t last long after high school ended + no longer had to fear of being called a dyke or a faggot. It was only until my early 20’s I finally found the answer — that changing ones gender is possible. And who I really was I finally embraced w/o shame. But oh fucking no, not w/ my mother.
What she believes, how she grew up conservativly, and that LGBTQ — especially transgender in her era was an enigma, an illness or nearly non-existent. I might have told her once in childhood I wish I was a boy when she made me put my shirt back on as a kid. But would say ‘Your a girl, and thats how god made me; you were born some kind of bullshit like that. It made me mad. Because being a boy as a kid was when I was felt most like myself. A bare, flat chest made me free. Girl puberty inprisoned me. And so does my mind. Puberty = Life sentence
The people in this world adds more bullets to shoot violent thoughts into my head full-on auto. I hate parental views; now my mom sees me as a daughter — and she’d not bear to want to loose that daughter because a son would be the death of Audrey.
Pain of loosing a daughter? Thats not pain, thats selfishness. Just like any rest of th eparents with that mindset. They are all full of shit. How could they not ever think of thier own child suffering, and that they hate their gender so bad they cut + want to kill themselves? Fuck parents like them who think of themselves first, and thier preference of conservative religion — gay shit makes them believe that the child they are given should stay that way in how they prefer them to be out of fear or (illegible).
Even if transgender treatment was discovered and tested during my time, I know how the situation would have turned out. My mother would not have payed a cent. Children who were able to successfully take puberty blockers and never enter a torchured puberty, those little faggots don’t know how good they fucking have it. I’d kill to have parents who would let thier child be happy no matter how different it is to thier viewpoints or don’t agree, or scared of it. They are willin gto listen to their children, not the other way around. Id kill to have had those resources; 2007 was the birth of puberty blockers and a newfound discovery for treatment of non-conforming transgender children. 2007 was when I was when I was in the 6th grade. Puberty already hit me. The only reason I could conclude why it didn’t bother me too much is that my boobs were small. I though they’d stay that way forever. My autistic brain change in body fucked me over now, even if my boobs are still small for the most part.
It started w/ getting new underwear for my big bears (my two tabbies, my lion + frog) And there I was thinking of porn and doing plastic surgery on my boy stuffed animals when I got home giving them penises b/c thier middle in section looked like a vagina + the underwear was [illegible] too big. Why not give volume with [illegible]. No boy should ever have that. If I cant change my appearence, I can pretend how it would be by my imagination of childs play through my stuffed animal’s spirits through me.
Toy Sex (My Imaginary Penis.)
I can pretend to be them + do the things boys do + experience w/ thier dicks. My boy self as tony — my stuffed boy doll is like the boy I am in another form since childhood. I constructed for him a penis, then got out my girl doll named Ashley (who is tonys life-long boyfriend) to have sex w/ tony. Ashley was represented as any dream girl I wished to have in real life as a child (I liked blonde white hot girls back then), and tony is me; having those intimate relationships w/ a beautiful girl. Tony is a boy: inside and out. Ashley is a girl inside and out. Two straight lovers who are in full nature of themselves by awareness. I let Tony fuck Ashley in the ass hard-humping and stuffed Tony’s big penis in aggressivly into her asshole. It took several attempts for Tony to put his dick into her vigina because he has a big dick (and was even bigger since had had an erection) finally went in and Ashley cried and moaned for a good ten minutes. Tony humped slow and gentle from viginal sex. In but sex, he humped speedly and hard, tony grunting w/ all his strength. Then after I fucked Ashley for a good ten minutes (remember Tony is me).
Then I let her suck his dick and touch his erected penis. After that they wrapped each other in thier arms + legs as a sloth hugging a tree. After love they made, gracefully sat side by side naked holding hands, surrounded by the scattering of thier clothes. I took pictures of thier sex positions.
My imaginary penis was hard for hours. Rock hard as a flintstone. Hours making cloth penises for my boy bears, only to realize I missed the gym cause they closed at 7. I was mad already cause I had no work all that afternoon. Walked around the mall browsing t-shirts at Spencers and got some boots for tommy, my stuffed lion At build-A-Bear workshop. I purchased some stickers at Zummies for my car and one sticker I got — A stripper booty illustration w ‘Dat Ass’ on it. God, I am such a pervert. I waste too much time in my fantasies. . . .
24 comments
No wonder the powers to be want this under wraps. They want the narrative to be that this person was not crazy but rather a victim pushed over the edge by transphobia. The imaginary penis thing basically throws the idea this person wasn’t crazy to the wind. There is also the white self-hatred angle. Perhaps this is more worrisome, the idea of white people being so brainwashed into hating themselves they commit acts like this. What has been leaked is just the tip if the iceberg, I’m sure there are plenty of more anti-white screeds in the mix. It basically turns upside down the whole white straight people are always the oppressor while the other people are always the victim. It is all about controlling the narrative.
I won’t be surprised if the newspaper gets bankrupted by the court. There will also be the pearl clutching about respecting the victims and keeping these writings under wraps. And just like that, liberals start caring about dead white Christians. Color me cynical. Luckily there are columns like this which provide some level of catharsis for the clown world we live in.
A White girl dispensed psychoactive drugs as if they were Pez since she was a kindergartener, taught to hate her race and obsessed with being a boy so she could have anal sex with big buttocked negresses with tiny anuses….. but teaching White kids to be proud of themselves, their ancestors, their people and their history aka “White supremacy” is the “greatest threat to American democracy.”
During my youth, I never knew a single girl who wanted to be a boy, or a boy who wanted to be a girl. Not a single one.
I only knew one hyperactive kid who took pills – that’s right, just one kid on meds. If there had been a second, it probably would’ve been me!
https://www.allsides.com/news/2023-03-28-1430/politics-trans-group-nashville-shooting-anti-trans-hate-has-consequences
The chutzpah is off the charts!
Stop the hate, Beau.
Yet another person with mental illness who latched on to fashionable and ill advised social media trends. At least 10 years before the trans mania I remember a gay coworker commenting that a trans appearing customer was just on their way to figuring out they were gay. Like a social contagion it has become virulent with the growth of social media, access to hormones and the bad decisions that sometimes come with a mental disability.
Of course, the right also has unbalanced folks latching onto memes like QAnon, though the media has a never forget attitude on that front. At the same time, the same media insinuates confused pre-pubescent kids are being denied “gender-affirming care” while seldomly noticing that autism is over-represented among trans-identifying youth. Fewer still dare to notice that the endless anti-white rhetoric inspired violence.
Imagine if we still had arranged marriages? This young lady could have been married off at around 16, had a bunch of kids and been too busy raising them to think of stupid things like changing her sex. She’d have been too busy changing diapers. We’ve ruined the world.
That’s kind of what I was thinking too. If only she would have had her mind occupied with REAL world problems she might have had a chance at happiness and 7 White people would still be alive.
One of her victims was a black man in his sixties.
This is what Judaism is doing to the brains of white children. A form of mental atrocity through a combination of pharmaceuticals and propaganda.
Don’t forget Pornography.
“born wrong”
a child of god much like yourself perhaps
I blame that novelty song “Detachable Penis” that became somewhat of a hit back in the 90’s….clearly a psy-op to sow the seeds of all this nonsense on stilts transanity that we see today…
From the FBI’s memorandum to the Chief of Police in Nashville:
The review of these items is critical to identifying the motive; as well as, the choice of timing and location of the attack.
Reasonably, the request often proffered by those seeking the release of the materials revolves around the public’s need to understand what led to such tragic events.
United States (U.S.).
versus
the Columbine High School attack [hereafter “Columbine”].
Very often legacy tokens do not provide a cogent or coherent rendering of the facts leading up to an attack.
This will further permeate the false narrative that the majority of attackers are mentally ill.
Notwithstanding the publics lack of access to the “Basement Tapes,” there is a notoriety and intense interest in the “Basement Tapes” that permeates online today.
Public release of legacy tokens from all mass shootings, but school shootings in particular, will likely spark incredibly intense interest and study by potential offenders who are considering a school-based attack.
For all the reasons listed above, release of legacy tokens such as this would endanger school security across the country.
I’m not afraid of the Feds any more. They can’t even speak English.
p.s. a real whopper
Many of these pontificators will be inexperienced or untrained, and therefore inaccurate in their assessment, further confusing or potentially inflaming the public.
An over abundance of self-deflection, displaced sexuality, etc. She sounds like she really wanted some big dick up her own ass.
Easy word count.
What kind of civilization produces a young person such as this? It’s sobering and depressing to consider. America truly is the cultural sewer of the world, and is beyond redemption.
Hear, hear!
I marvel most days at the amount of human vermin that lives here and then are still the negroids too.
‘My penis exists in my head. I swear to god Im a male. I think about sexual fantasies, about how if my dick was real I’d fuck the girl I love in the ass. I want to know what thats like, but I never will because I was damned to be born this way. I swear to fuck I hate it goddamned so [illegible]. Its a fucking curse. Having a brain like mine has its godliness but also prone to making poor ass decisions. . . . Fuck me, man.’
Strange obsession with anal sex. Coming off like a rape or child abuse victim. Laurie Dann vibes here. Something bad happened to this tragic, deeply damaged young woman, it seems. But who knows? It’s sad, and depressing, and horrible, and disgusting.
There’s no evidence she was a victim of anything but cursed genetics.
Allow me to remind you of the following which you wrote in September of last year
The most obnoxious “small” response to white distress is to declare that subjecting whites to inhuman conditions is actually a good thing, because it is somehow “eugenic.” … Ten years ago, before the epidemic of transsexualism, we never suspected how many “tranny” genes were in the population, but now, thankfully, those weeds are being dealt with as well.
Although I regard this position as absurd and contemptible, eugenics is based in fact. Genes do play a role in our economic and sexual success, as well as our susceptibility to drink, drugs, and bad ideas.
But not every problem is caused by genes. Moreover, those problems that have a genetic component need not be solved that way. It is especially absurd to think that social problems based on bad ideas can and should be solved on the genetic level. For instance, instead of positing “cat-lady” genes that can be weeded out genetically over how many generations, why not simply counter feminist brainwashing today?
Of course, such a person must have been more defective than the ordinary pervert to have lived on the generosity of her parents for several years after the ordinary age, then to have murdered several children because they came from her background (white, upper-middle-class) and did not share in her mental illness and unfortunate circumstances, and cannot even in view of the totality of circumstances be called a victim. But as a member of groups (zoomers, nerds, the terminally online) who are, for lack of a proper education, to use the coining of the enemies, disproportionately impacted by trannyism (it will be written that HRT and genital mutilation swept through and decimated these communities, as crack to the joggers), I must point out that there are readily available for the deflection of blame from immutable characteristics of the individual several environmental causes common to the rootless and meaningless lives of many of the members of the said classes – lack of a positive value system, lack of sufficiently masculine/feminine role models, lack of engagement with the opposite sex due for example to the extreme isolation in which Hale apparently lived, the destruction of the social, let alone the economic possibility of family formation at the previously common time in early adulthood. And to echo Partial Observer it’s true that hypersexuality and sexual perversion often manifest in victims of child sexual abuse
Our ministry must extend even to the trannies, trust me on this, we can redirect their autistic fixations and high IQ to productive ends
Again, there’s no evidence that she is a victim of something like “child sexual abuse.” But she was put on antidepressants at 6 for some reason. You posit that there is some form of society in which she might have turned out okay. But that’s not necessarily the case. We of course want a better society than this one. But it is foolish to think that every human problem can be fixed by society. Because some are just based on cursed genes.
I concur with you both. “Change the propaganda, change the people” is fact, but there will always be outliers. Adjusting society to make room for so many groups/outliers (communist agenda item/egalitarianism) will always fail. If things are terrible now, I wonder what it will be like when they are finally able to abolish private property.
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