Cheeseburger-Eating Surrender Monkeys

1,034 words

Back during the Iraq War, patriotic but misguided Americans like me mocked the French as “cheese-eating surrender monkeys.” This was ironic given France’s tradition of martial excellence as reflected in such English borrowings as “platoon,” “lieutenant,” and “reconnaissance,” to name only a few.

Unlike a fine French wine, our taunt did not age well given the dismal state of America, and especially that of American conservatism, which is plagued by cowardice. In fact, the actual toughness of conservatives seems to be inversely proportional to how tough they talk. I call them cheeseburger-eating surrender monkeys.

Conservative cowardice has many forms: pandering to their enemies, betraying their allies, and seeking to out-lib the libs rather than rejecting their framework entirely. But the most nauseating form of all is self-betrayal, usually after doxing, such as Richard Hanania’s recent self-flagellation.

The regime’s de facto human reources department and state terror apparatus, antifa, revealed that Hanania used to publish wrongthink under the name Richard Hoste here at Counter-Currents and elsewhere. How dare someone have a realistic perspective on race! The end of history was supposed to be forever!

Like most people, I don’t really buy Hanania’s claim that he changed his mind. I think he masterfully infiltrated the system. Regardless of whether he did so to enrich himself or to subvert the enemy from within, Hanania’s prominence shows that our ideas are spreading, perhaps more than we realize. Who under 40 except for the most cucked would prefer PragerU’s tepid takes over our ideas? That our ideas are becoming so widespread despite modest resources, censorship, and deplatforming is a testament to their power.

But when Hanania was unmasked, he chose to disavow his ideas. What’s worse, he did not simply claim that he made an honest mistake; he also impugned his own sincerity. Thus, he was either lying then or he is lying now. Either way, he should have zero credibility going forward.

Hanania didn’t deal well with being doxed. Based on my own experience with doxing, here’s how he could have done better.

First, make no public statements. Silence is golden, because it deprives the enemy of fodder for further drama. Silence forces them to run in circles while repeating increasingly stale gossip. Deny a fire oxygen and it dies.

Second, the whole point of a dox is intimidation and gaslighting. If you refuse to act as if it’s a big deal, that will objectively make it less of a big deal. If pressed, just say you have been advised not to speak about it because you are reviewing your legal rights and remedies. This will also give notice to an unhappy employer or school that you will pursue legal action if they retaliate against you. Most people will take the path of least resistance, so they will naturally be averse to the additional drama that litigation could bring.

You can buy Greg Johnson’s It’s Okay to Be White here.

The worst part of a dox is the immediate aftermath — which is great, because it can only get better. I’ve found that mine was akin to seasonal pollen allergies: occasionally mildly annoying, but nothing a simple tissue can’t solve. It is almost never nearly as bad as your enemies would like you to think it is.

In private circumstances, where silence is not possible, at least make people cite their sources. This will invariably be antifa, which is generally despised. They have long worn out their welcome, even among moderate liberals. Furthermore, antifa has a well-founded reputation of being filled with pedophiles, drug addicts, criminals, and in many cases domestic terrorists. If possible, do some research on the specific chapter of antifa that doxed you, and simply ask those who call you to account if they endorse these fine model citizens. If an employer dares to act upon your dox, they have essentially made antifa their own human reosources department. This is an open endorsement of antifa and should be treated as such — the louder the better. Drama is a double-edged sword.

There’s also nothing wrong with denying the whole thing and acting confused, especially if you are put on the spot in public. After all, you are being stalked, harassed, and intimidated by domestic terrorists. If a dox is based on some flimsy connection, just laugh at it. That antifa erroneously doxed a random Jewish person for being part of the Patriot Front shows that they aren’t particularly credible — even if one looks past their rampant violence, drug addiction, and pedophilia. If we calmly step back, the entire phenomenon of doxing is ludicrous, especially when it comes to private citizens.

Furthermore, a calm denial can prevent what I will politely call “low-impulse control individuals” from causing an unnecessary scene, not only for you but also for anyone else who has deal with their temper tantrums.

Returning to Hanania, if he had stood by his previous positions, would he really have lost that many supporters? I think he probably would have gained more followers in the long term. If Hanania really did change his mind, he should have claimed that doing so was made possible by free speech and free inquiry, which would have struck back against censorship and cancel culture.

Hanania was doing quite well for himself. Perhaps he feared losing all that money. But there are some things that money can’t buy, such as honor.

I take exquisite satisfaction in causing my own dox to backfire. I went from a part-time activist to a full-time one. The movement was weaker and antifa was stronger before they doxed me. I am going to make them regret it. In fact, I would like to thank the losers and haters for promoting my resume, as it has afforded me a unique opportunity to work on a special project! More details will be forthcoming soon . . .

As more doxes backfire or fizzle, the establishment will be deprived of one of their most potent weapons. I don’t think it is possible to overstate what a game-changer this will be.

The Left is intellectually bankrupt, but they keep winning. Why? Because they have the courage to stand by their convictions, even when those convictions are absurd. The Right has the truth on its side, but keeps losing. Why? Because they are cheeseburger-eating surrender monkeys.

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