As a man who was born with ample cognitive aptitude but almost zero wisdom, it’s taken me several decades to realize what in life is worth fighting for, what’s worth getting upset about, what I truly need, and what only gets in the way of my needs.
My dad drank a full bottle of hard liquor every day until he went sober at age 58 and died of colon cancer less than a year later. He was violent, and it imprinted violence on my soul, but I would have taken the beatings over his drinking because it was clear he loved alcohol more than he loved me, and it robbed me of a father and a proper childhood. My father stopped hitting me when I was around age 16 and decked him with one punch, which taught me the ugly lesson that sometimes people only stop hitting you when you hit them back. I swore I’d never become the nasty drunk that he was.
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I started drinking around age 18 and quit before I was 21 because there were too many blackouts, too many fights I never remembered, and too many encounters with police. I’ve never had a sip of alcohol since, and my unique fortune is that I’ve never been remotely tempted. I knew it was bad for me, that I was unable to handle it, and that if I even tried to drink moderately, it’d be Lost Weekend all over again. So giving up alcohol wasn’t some titanic triumph of the will for me. It was the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
My mom was a cold-wombed sadist, my sister was a vindictive and manipulative cunt, nearly every nun who ever taught me from grades 1-12 was a nasty moralist, and my first girlfriend hit me several times before I decided to hit her back.
My first wife was never violent toward me, although over the years it became clear to me (and a few discerning friends) that she was indifferent to my happiness because she was hyper-focused on her own misery, so I gradually became violent toward her before switching my modus operandi toward infidelity and abandonment. Just as I would have taken my dad’s bloody beatings over his alcoholic indifference, I would have gladly traded the handful of times I slapped my first wife for the dozen years she’d spent brutalizing me with her aimlessly incurable self-pity.
The mistress for whom I abandoned my first wife under intensely cruel conditions for which I will never forgive myself was easily the most malicious and violent person I’ve ever known. I realize how self-exculpatory that sounds coming from the man who went to prison for beating that mistress during a 10-minute car ride and leaving her dazed and bloody on a secluded mountain road, but the centerpiece of a 2002 autobiographical work I wrote while in prison lays the yearlong groundwork of violence, drama, and death threats that led to that ten-minute explosion of bloody rage, and many people who know the full story can only marvel at how I held my temper for so long.
But the main thing that puzzled them was why I didn’t leave her far earlier — or even got involved with her in the first place.
I lost a good chunk of my life and my career over an ex-wife, who’d lied to the police (she later admitted she’d lied in an interview with a national magazine because she was angry I’d cheated on her), and a mistress who’d told provable lies about the circumstances surrounding that fateful night — not enough lies to discount the fact that I’d actually hauled off and walloped her, but she left out the part about bloodying my nose to start it all, which was the third time she’d hit me that day. The prosecutors didn’t seem to care about the fact that the DNA test found my blood on her jacket and my mug shot showed she’d clawed at my face. You see, we live in a “patriarchy” — a very strange one where it’s hardly ever considered a crime when a woman hits a man.
During my 29 months behind bars I frothed and foamed and railed about how society blindly advantages men over women. I still believe that. Even a quarter-century later, I haven’t stopped writing about it. But about two years into my stint, they moved me from a maximum-security prison to a coed facility in the industrial wastelands near Portland International Airport. Male and female convicts slept in separate dorms, but we ate in the chow hall together and walked the yard together. The moment I was around female hormones, I felt instant relief. Then, after only a few days — maybe someone checked my record and felt they’d made a mistake placing me around all those women — they rolled me back up and returned me to the all-male penitentiary, and I was back wallowing among male hormones and male urine and the stench of male armpits. The relief was gone.
After my release, I was skittish about ever talking to a woman again.
But less than two weeks after I walked out of the pen, I decided I couldn’t take the loneliness anymore. Mind you, I’ve never felt lonely when deprived of male companionship, but if I don’t have a woman in my life I’m involved with on some physical or romantic level, I’m baying at the moon. So I went to a local oldies bar, said “yes” when a woman asked me to slow-dance with her, and also said “yes” when she asked me if I wanted to go back to her house with her. As we held each other and began kissing, all that relief came flooding back. I was bathing in female hormones again.
She and I fooled around a few times over the ensuing weeks and parted amicably. But for nearly the next 20 years I kept making stupid mistakes with women I knew wouldn’t be good for me. Things never got too dangerous with the one-night stands and casual hookups, but once the word “love” entered the picture, I again endured violence, threats, and even more false criminal accusations — much of which I documented in this book. But by that point I’d at least wised up so that I knew to document everything, so I luckily escaped more jail time.
But why did I find it so easy to give up alcohol after spending only a night in jail, whereas I continued being stupid with women even though it had sent me to prison, effectively ended any hope of a mainstream writing career, and continued to agonize me?
Because I don’t need alcohol.
One night about five years ago after yet another scorched-Earth ending to another volatile romance, I invited a female friend and occasional lover to visit me. She showed tremendous patience and empathy as I told her one story after the next about diving into doomed relationships with damaged women and how everyone except me, the natural-born emotional idiot, could have predicted they’d all end disastrously. But in the hours-long course of laying out one sad saga after the next, rather than taking my usual route — which was blaming all those dirty bitches, even though they were plenty guilty — I felt shame. I felt like an alcoholic. And with that, the spell was broken. Giving up women I knew would be bad for me was as easy as giving up booze.
But I still knew I needed something from women — and not merely sex, you gutter-brained ruffian — so I still pursued them. And when I say “women” in the plural, I’m referencing the collective form of “woman,” the archetype. If I could find everything I needed in one woman, I wouldn’t need any more women.
I’m wired so that fame, money, and social approval aren’t nearly as important to me as they seem to be to others. But there’s something ingrained in my DNA about needing a deep emotional connection with a woman, something I couldn’t change if I wanted to. Just like that corny love song says, I need it like the air that I breathe.
April will mark five years since a pretty little sparrow landed on my windowsill. That’s her in the picture above. Unlike all her predecessors, she’s not malicious, indifferent, deceptive, or infantile. It’s almost as if, by swearing off bad women as if they were all bottles of Scotch cranked out by the same rotgut distillery, I’d magically conjured a good one from the ether.
We fell very quickly, but it wasn’t like falling into an abyss as it had been before. At first we were pinching ourselves — it couldn’t possibly be this good, right? Something has to go wrong. It always did before. But over the weeks, then months, and now years, the initial anxiety has given way to a sense of overwhelming calm. It’s never been about power, we never argue, we’re never mean to each other, and not only can’t we imagine living without one another, we wouldn’t want to.
I never gave up on women until I found the right woman. You can have the rest.
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50 comments
Congratulations Jim! My 10th Anniversary is this Valentine’s Day. I have to come up with something unique for the Mrs. I’d love some suggestions in the comments.
I haven’t done this in years, but an idea I came across will really leave a lasting impression for a woman who is used to the same old same old. All you need is colored construction paper, Elmer’s glue and a bag of conversation hearts. Sort through the hearts and pull out one of every phrase and begin making a love letter by incorporating the hearts into the text. Then you cut the construction paper into a giant heart, make some faint pencil lines for writing, and write out the letter by gluing the hearts in their appropriate places. Voilà! She won’t believe you could do something so thoughtful.
Nice idea. Thanks. Trouble is, no, she would never think that was my idea.
Hey Fred,
First of all, congratulations! This is a big milestone.
Secondly, what are you good at?
I’m a decent writer, so I always make sure to write my wife a poem. Sometimes, I’ll write a poem using a pastiche of text messages I’ve sent to her. It’s very sentimental, but she loves it. Then, of course, we go on the traditional dinner date and catch a movie. She’s a gal with simple tastes.
Not everyone’s a writer.
If you’re an excellent chef, make her an exquisite meal. If you’re handy, make her something lovely out of wood, metal, etc. If you’re artsy, paint a portrait of her, and so forth.
Whatever you do, make sure it’s got your fingerprints all over it. Women appreciate when men create something lovely for them.
Good luck!
Thank you! I have a green thumb but it’s the dead of winter. Cook a nice dinner? Great idea. I’ll go get a couple of nice steaks from the butcher and grill them up! Thanks
Suggestions for Fred: Romantic music. A concert. A musical/singing Valentine. A free drop-in Waltz or Tango dance lesson at an Arthur Murray dance school. A Vivaldi 4 Seasons CD. A Favorite soundtrack to a romantic or sexy movie.
Get in the kitchen together & do Fun & creative things. Make chocolate candy from scratch. Re-watch the best scenes from Bruce Willis & Kim Basinger’s 9.5 weeks.
Thank you! Xxo
I lucked out with my wife. She wanted tickets to see Pantera in Lincoln on the 14th, so that and some flowers is all I have to worry about.
By the way, it was Mickey Rourke, not Bruce Willis.
Wonderful essay.
«…beber não é uma doença, respirar é uma doença…» – Charles Bukowski
Great article! Its always helpful for men to talk about and learn from their experiences.
There are two kinds of problems with women:
1. Problems from interacting with women
2. Problems from *not* interacting with women
The first is the easier issue to fix because there is at least the minimum of a relationship even if it is not ideal. You can tweak it until you get it right, hopefully.
On the other hand, some men are simply invisible to women and go months or years without female company. It is like your “baying at the moon” comment but an endless Purgatory that slowly drives you insane.
You wonder: am I not rich enough? Not good looking enough? Am I not out-going enough? You tear yourself apart like Gene Hackman tearing his apartment to shreds at the end of The Conversation looking for the bug that you can’t find anywhere.
This only destroys your confidence further and isn’t that the thing they say you have to have? As someone who got in shape, improved their financial situation, upgraded their wardrobe, lives an interesting life, nothing worked to make me more than a ghost walking the streets watching other men, even black men, with the women. At this point, I have not given up but the hope has been beaten out of me. I trudge on like a soldier forced to march by Alexander the Great across an unforgiving desert, watching his comrades collapse from thirst and heat exhaustion all around him.
This is why I’m not a zero tolerance person when it comes to masturbation and I favor legalizing prostitution. If there is a solution, its one that will take years to resolve. Years of intolerable Purgatory, while my mind is rendered into a thousand pieces across the plains of eternal loneliness.
The “problems from *not* interacting with women” would seem to apply mostly to white females. Just this week, I’ve seen three white men with some variety of east Asian woman, though one of those women appeared to be half black. In all instances, these mixed couples had procreated, and the children looked like what I’ve seen half-jokingly referred to as brown peons of indeterminate ethnicity with whom the globalist overlords plan to replace us. Miscegenation is a serious matter, and there’s not much discussion about it. On the other hand, I do kind of get it. An awful lot of white women radiate hostility, and it would make sense to look for companionship with someone who hasn’t marinated in anti-white hatred her entire life. These times are not good ones for single white men.
Yes, the state of White women is central to the problem. I went on that WhiteDate site and sent out like a hundred messages. I received may 3 responses, none of which would do anything to move the conversation forward at all.
I go on the mainstream apps and constantly have nonwhite women liking my profile but no white women.
They do everything to avoid talking with you in public.
And every time I see the white women out in the street with some black guy a piece of me dies inside.
C’mon guys there’s nothing wrong with white women. You have no idea how many of them go to bed crying in their pillows because they can’t find a good man? Remember. You’re the man. Smile. Be funny and confident. Don’t be afraid of failure and most of all don’t be afraid of success. You got this!
Your advice is sound as a pep talk but I don’t know, I think there is something wrong with a lot of white women, not in their basic nature but in the way that has been perverted. They are the ultimate target of most of the anti-male, anti-White, anti-family propaganda. Some women manage to evade the effects, sure, but there’s such a large pool who harbour little but resentment for White men as oppressors and competitors in the “man’s world” of work and politics. It doesn’t occur to them to see things from a White man’s viewpoint. Favouring women in the workplace doubly disfavours White men in their value to women. White men no longer have the wealth and status which might make them interesting and the women do, which makes them uninterested in most men. With DEI she’s more likely to wed a sub-continental Indian or a mulatto negro who’s of higher status. It must be a very tough environment particularly if you’re not Chad and have experienced nothing but rebuffs.
Interesting article.
I really want to make the “having relationships with women is gay” joke, but this piece is too sincere and wholesome. Happy for you Jimbo and great words of wisdom for the lads. Never give up.
Among the most destructive crimes against humanity by our enemies is the destruction of the love between men and women. This is gonna’ be a tough one to come back from.
one can whine and moan and point fingers at “them”, but it boils down to want can we fix and protect “us”.
the Internet was supposed to be the promised repository of wisdom such that young people can draw upon the knowledge of their elders. Many in the past have stated that the Internet will be the key to our liberation … oops what happened? Building communities among peoples happens one relationship at a time.
“This one goes out to Jim and Norma and all the amazons and coyotes on Counter-Currents and the yon teenagers out in Secane, Trevose and Marcus Hook on the HIP-pest show on the radio so without further ado let’s get that opening booter that’s gotta break fifteen million zillion zootin’ bootin’ scooters now…”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqdE85tzFhY
Wow, what an essay! I’m so happy things eventually turned out well for you.
anudda of those mangina-creeps…
The unrealized and unrequited love of a mother is unthinkable to me. Something so built-in and chemical, I would rather be dead than live without it. May God continue to richly bless you, your beautiful wife, and your wonderful son, too. If this is the path it took to get to her, it sounds like it was worth it.
I have zero evidence for this, but it may be that your volatile, testosterone-laden personality is associated with a disdain for the status and wealth which meeker men require to have much hope of attracting female attention. You don’t need them. It’s clearly come with some downsides so I’m glad to hear you’re finally settled with the woman of your dreams. Thanks for sharing so honestly.
One other thing, not so long ago an Englisman’s home was his castle and the police were loathe to get involved in domestic violence accusations. These days there’s very little way for a chap to resolve an argument with a screaming and scratching banshee in his favour without losing his house and his liberty. Neither system is ideal although in days of yore one of the roles of the Klan was supposedly to rough up husbands who beat their wives excessively.
The only reason to pursue and keep the company of a woman is to have children. Nothing about the rest of the deal is worth the hassle. And I am a married father of three, not some bitter “incel.”
Any man who craves the attention of a woman needs to forgive their mother and deal with the trauma she inflicted upon him.
OK, Sigmund.
This is a nice essay. However it reveals the brutal neediness men have for women, and the worthlessness of many, perhaps even most, so-called “relationships”. That is, they are filled with drama and abuse and produce no children. Being a “boyfriend” is one of the goofiest positions a man can be in, and it is totally unserious in most cases. I believe one of the reasons for white-birth decline is the pushing of sterile, goofy relationships (clown marriage) versus marriage with children.
Isn’t that neediness evolved? Men who need to be around women likely have more offspring who survive to reproduce. Mr Goad would have ( maybe he does have ) a widely dispersed brood of little Jims and Jemimas had his various lady friends not had their Malthusian belts on. Admittedly this sort of sexual lifestyle has really only been enabled for large sections of the community since the advent of reliable contraception and treatment for syphilis.
Yes, that neediness is evolved. Lust, and the strong desire for female companionship is what gets the sexes together. William Pierce wrote, “Nothing makes a man angrier than lack of a woman,” and I agree with him. I myself am in my forties and married with two children. It’s not as if I ever wanted to be womanless. With that out of the way, one can see what the Sexual Revolution has produced, amongst other things, and only possible with the pill, abortion, and trashing of social constraints: goofy “relationships,” otherwise known as “LTR’s” and “boyfriend and girlfriend,” hardly any of which lead to family formation, are not socially sanctioned, and do quite a number on women as they waste their fertile years in them, with guy after guy after guy.
What’s funny is that some tough guys in the manosphere like to wax “evo psych” about all this and say that a man’s biological imperative is to spread his seed around, yet while supposedly and recommending bedding down with numerous women, have one child or no child, showing that they are not exactly “spreading their seed around”.
The abuse Jim took at the hands of these deranged women is undeserved, but I am unsurprised that some abuse took place because oftentimes in “boyfriend-girlfriend” situationships, men are often abused in one way or another. The childless girlfriend puts all her energy into meeting the expectations of her boyfriend and seeks takes over his mind and life, instead of into a home and child raising. The sad stories shown told in this article show that men often put up with all sorts of horrible behavior with women that are not even the mother of their children.
Jim can correct me. I don’t think he has numerous children, as you guessed. And my statements here are not digs at him, as I too, in my younger years, wasted precious time on “relationships” and was a bore friend. I am a long-time reader of his, and read his articles on a weekly basis.
When society had it right, there was courtship, a male suitor had to prove himself to a woman’s father, sex outside marriage was shunned, and women got wifed up early. Unwed, childless women are a burden on society, and they’ll continue to be a burden so long as people partake in barren “relationships”. In nearly all cases, there are just two adults screwing and “hanging out”.
I suggest you read Sexual Utopia in Power by F. Roger Devlin if you have not done so. I read it three times.
What’s funny is that some tough guys in the manosphere like to wax “evo psych” about all this and say that a man’s biological imperative is to spread his seed around, yet while supposedly and recommending bedding down with numerous women, have one child or no child, showing that they are not exactly “spreading their seed around”.
This is 100% correct. The manosphere guys are pathetic losers who want as much sex as possible while avoiding male responsibility.
Crazy. I am a married, 15 years, father of 4 and my wife is my partner. Not gonna lie, feel sorry for you. Possibly your kids too if their dad has such a loveless relationship with their mom, good chance you got one generation out only for it to fail from poor example down the line. Your kids are going to grow up, and if you did things right (not a good place for ya right now) they’ll find a good woman or man and have more. Meanwhile, you slowly die with your wife knowing both of you live on for as long as they followed your example.
Eventually her company is all your going to have if you didn’t mess it up because they found someone they can respect, and respects them, and raise a family by example.
You honestly are more of a problem than a solution, just because you bred doesn’t mean much. You forgot the quality part.
Your story is ideal, GJT’s obviously less so but every marriage is different for goodness sake. I don’t know why either of you would imply otherwise. Mine’s a bit better than GJT’s sounds but nowhere near as simpatico as yours.
Unless the couple are somehow working effectively to further the genetic interests of their folk, from a White biological perspective the most important aspect of a marriage is the number and reproductive fitness of children, surviving to adulthood, who are motivated and able to attract a suitable mate in order to bear children themselves.
All other things being equal eugenicists might try to encourage healthy couples with harmonious relationships to bear the bulk of the next generation’s children. There might be unintended consequences though.
Obviously what you inferred from my comment is incorrect. There is a special bond you have with a woman when she is the mother of your children, and that bond does not disappear when your children are grown. Really, it is only this man-woman bond/relationship that ends up being healthy and aligned with the natural order.
There is no major issue with my marriage beyond the normal stuff husband and wife deal with, and I didn’t intend to convey the idea that she is worthless to me outside of giving me children. What I am saying is, if she died or left me or whatever, I would see no good reason to pursue another woman.
I firmly stand by the assertion that men who crave the attention of women for purposes outside family-building have deep emotional issues that are not being addressed.
Thanks for the clarification. That’s a pretty big change of tune. I suspect that your rationality about the pursuit of women is not the norm though, at least until late middle or old age.
For the men who need to have a woman around, evidently that’s part of their psyche. It’s a trait that would seem to be evolutionarily adaptive. The possibility of non-generative coitus is so novel that it hasn’t had much chance to affect the gene pool yet and being around a woman has been a good proxy for impregnating her, hence many men feel this need.
I agree with this. Every womanizer I’ve known had serious personality defects, emotional issues, and other vices. Hence I’ve said such men have mommy syndrome. Their behavior is often snake-like to both women and men.
I don’t think that fits Jim though. He seems like a guy who simply liked appreciation and affection from a woman, as most of us do.
As I said, I’ve observed that many, if not most, so-called (sterile) “relationships” are filled with tumult, theatrics, and abuse. I’ve asked ADULT “boyfriends” what they’re getting out of their clown shows and they have no answer. And I don’t know why a normal white woman would subject herself to wasting her young years in them.
I sympathize with your sentiment. I’ve several times thought that if something bad happened to my wife, the mother of my children, that I don’t think I would ever develop such a connection to another woman.
Well said! Also, a married man with children.
Just about everyone truly ahead of the curve has something wrong with them.
And just about when you’re ready to give up on the sonofabitch, he pulls something like this out of his hat.
Bravo, sir!
A great story and one with a happy ending which becomes more unlikely these days as it is for myself. My parents come from Europe and raised me in that traditional world which became my world having also returned numerous times and experienced it personally growing up. I know that male cruelty in past generations was notable especially in the culture of this nation and not just others. I believe that the problems in men and woman have become greater here over the decades because of the growing dysfunction of the traditional family in all its aspects. The confusion of young people in a culture of divorce that leads the planet (60 to 80%), one parent or no parent children, and the industry they have created is devastating and grows exponentially with every new generation. The profitable industry in advocating separation instead of responsibility is too profitable and its results lead to all the abuses now experienced.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. She’s a KNOCKOUT!!!!!
And nice to boot? Lucky you. I’m glad for you.
Typically, or as far as I knew, you are done with nuns after 8 years of grammar school. But you endured 12 years? Have you written about this? I believe 20th century nun based “education” negatively impacted many unfortunate boys.
Nuns and lay teachers at Holy Cross Elementary School in Springfield, PA for 8 years. Nuns, priests, and lay teachers at Cardinal O’Hara High School in Broomall, PA for 4 years.
I have a 15-year-old son from my second wife. I don’t write about what went wrong with that marriage because there’s a son involved. Plus, the world is full of people such as “G J T” who, like nearly all internet commenters these days, boldly cast judgment from behind the long black veil of anonymity. Still, it doesn’t stop certain “dissident” freaks from lying about me anyway, so to her credit, my ex-wife recorded this conversation with me.
Thanks Jim for the good text. I wanted to do a special interview with you about women. But you said a lot in this article. You have my respect for being an honest and sensitive person.
A guy I worked with many years ago told me that in order to find the right wife you have to marry 3 times and he had a whole thesis to back up his theory – which I don’t remember. A long time friend is currently on his FOURTH marriage and knowing all 4 I would say his THIRD wife was easily the nicest.
Be careful of showing too much gentleness and kindness to white women as a large percentage of them incorrectly interpret that as weakness.
So by that person’s notion, white people should divorce twice and wreak havoc on families, their own lives, and especially on children, in search for this special women.
I’m in my mid forties and have been aware of the so-called “woman question” since about thirteen years old—that is, aware of their peculiar mental makeup and sexuality, which is more primitive than some think—but it was only last year that I realized how brutally emotionally dependent men are on women.
If a man told me he was on a fourth wife, I’d think there’s something wrong with him.
“…blindly advantages men over women.”
Am I reading this correctly?
29 months for felony assault? Stiffest sentence I’ve ever seen. Unless Jim had other felony convictions. That’s rough. In NY they’ve canceled the statute of limitations on “sexual assault” ostensibly to get Trump, but a whole lot of other men are getting caught in the web. A woman can sue saying she was attacked with no evidence and your bank account is left in the hands of 12 people who weren’t crafty enough to get out of jury duty. Not good.
It was my first criminal conviction of any kind and remains the only one. It was also Portland, and I had been depicted in the news there for years as a villainous writer of non-Portland-friendly topics. The whole insane tale is told in my book Shit Magnet. I also had a restraining order against this girl at the time this happened. Legally, she was committing a felony just being in my presence at the time, much less punching me and clawing my face, but justice is anything but blind in Oregon.
This all happened in a moving car, and the most serious charge was kidnapping, which in Oregon means moving someone three or more feet against their will. That was the bitterest irony, because it all started when she scratched my face and then punched my nose after refusing to get out of the car. Listen to those psychotic voicemail messages linked to the word “mistress” in the article—she refused to get out of my LIFE. They tried to give me 25 years, but the “victim” did things such as call a friend of mine (it’s legal to record people without their knowledge in Oregon) gloating about how she got away with several violent crimes and how she was masturbating to the fact that my first wife was dying. So since all their legal guns were pointed at me and I had technically committed assault, I took a plea of three years and got out after 29 months for good behavior.
The reason I keep bringing this case up is that there’s an insane crop of Professional Incel(TM) weirdo virgins in “dissident” circles who’ve never been with women and who try to lecture me that I don’t know how awful women can be. They can’t even see the irony that the only things they “know” about women come from all-male online circle jerks.
I haven’t read your book, but I understand now. That was a rough deal you got. With the crazy juries out there, you had to take the plea. I used to be acquainted with a guy that shot at a cop during the commission of a felony in Staten Island back in the 70s. He did 36 months. You really got screwed. Glad you survived it.
I am curious as to what you needed to do as far as ‘documentation’ to protect yourself. I am concerned with the potential risks you’ve mentioned and would like to mitigate them if possible.
Well, for example, when I broke up with my first girlfriend post-prison, she called the police and told her I’d been beating her for months. Mind you, I’d never so much as raised my voice to her.
By the time she’d called me 12 hours later begging me to come back, I’d already purchased recording equipment from Radio Shack. I very calmly asked her why she lied to the police. I got her to admit about a dozen times that I’d never hit her over the course of three phone conversations (1, 2, and 3). My parole officer, who was ready to revoke my parole, was shocked to hear the tapes and impressed with my diligence. Recording her was the only thing that saved me from going back to prison.
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