SS General Hans Kammler, who apparently looks 57% like the author.
1,197 words
After stumbling upon the Aryan Recognition Tool (ART) — a dodgy artificial intelligence program designed to determine whether you’re a latent genocidal maniac based on your appearance — I decided, despite my better judgement, to give it a whirl. I allowed the website temporary access to my webcam, after which it snapped a photo and determined that, based on my facial features, I am 22% Aryan. I was very disappointed. After that terrible letdown, I thought that perhaps I should clean myself up a bit, shave my scruffy beard, and try the AI once again to see if I could improve my score.
In my vanity, I elected to shave my ginger-bearded face with my old-timey safety razor, fresh shaving cream, and my synthetic shaving brush that I received as Christmas gifts. It took a while, and after a few accidental bloodlettings, I was harshly clean-shaven once again. I combed my hair to look a bit more presentable and tried the AI camera bot one more time.
I improved quite a bit. According to the AI, after my much-needed shave I am now 57% Aryan. Phew! I was so relieved. I hadn’t attained Dolph Lungren status, but I had surpassed physically-unprepossessing-former-chicken-farmer status, for which I was eternally grateful.
The AI then generated my best matches from the Third Reich as well. My alleged doppelgänger was one Hans Kammler, who also scored 57% on the Aryan Scale. I honestly don’t see the resemblance, but that’s fine, as it’s so much better than my initial 22% score. Other matches were Hans Zimmermann (48%), Wilhelm Günther (48%), Erich Sparmann (48%), Friedrich Uebelhoer (45%), Otto Georg Werner Brinkmann (45%), Hans-Ulrich Geschke (44%), Hans Nieland (42%), Fritz Weitzel, Född Friedrich Philipp Weitzel (40%), and Kurt Schmidt-Klevenow (38%). I honestly hadn’t heard of any of these fellows.
Underneath Hans Kammler’s name was a miniature biography pulled directly from Wikipedia:
Hans Friedrich Karl Franz Kammler, born August 26, 1901 in Stettin, probably died on May 9, 1945 in Eule near Prague, was a German engineer and SS general. He was head of agency C within SS-Wirtschafts-und Verwaltungshauptamt, SS’s finance and administrative board, and at the end of the Second World War he led the V1 and V2 program. There is some contradictory information about his death and even conspiracy theories that he would have survived and moved to the United States or South America after the war.
This was all a bit perplexing, as I haven’t the faintest clue about rocketry or finances, but I’ve always aspired to sharp, Nordic cheekbones. I can hear you ask, “But Gunnar, how did all this madness come about? I mean, Aryans? The Third Reich?” Well, dear reader, after exalting in my newfound semi-divinity by striding forth across my suburban snowscape of a neighbourhood whilst throwing golden loonie coins to the people, I realized that I had been duped.
It turns out that the Aryan Recognition Tool is naught but an anti-white art project linked to a state-sponsored exhibition funded by the Canadian taxpayers and supported by art-world academics, allied tradespeople with access to galleries, and catering services that make tiny, pretentious sandwiches involving some sort of avocado toast derivatives.
According to its website, ART is “a novel tool that measures how your face compares to the facial measurements of an average Aryan — distilled from the most infamous leaders of the Third Reich.” So it’s an attempt to further the process of demoralizing the white majority. It’s also a polemical commentary on the use of facial recognition software and its impact on non-whites:
Face recognition has been critiqued for misidentifying people from underrepresented minorities. AR Tool provides a solution to recognize the western majority.
The creator of the tool was of course making a polemical, anti-white political statement. An article in Artforum explains that the Aryan Recognition Tool is part of the Conceptions of White art exhibit, and reveals the thought process behind it:
This line of questioning was further followed in Jennifer Chan’s algorithm-driven work Aryan Recognition Tool, 2022. At a small desk against a wall, visitors could have their faces scanned. Machine-learning facial recognition software, using Google’s infamous FaceNet, then attempted to determine how Aryan they were, matching their appearance to a data set of Nazi visages, including those of SS commanders, concentration-camp guards, and killing squads. In a shrewd reversal, Chan exploits the racial bias of artificial intelligence technology to turn the debunked field of phrenology against its Nazi practitioners, allowing us to see the Aryan in everyone.
You can buy Kerry Bolton’s Artists of the Right here.
Self-flagellating white people can try out the ART tool in situ if they decide to attend the Conceptions of White art exhibit. The exhibit has apparently been oozing its way across the country like a gelatinous slug, leaving a viscous trail of slime in its wake since 2023.
Diminutive reporter Lindsay Shepherd, who won fame a few years ago after her public battle against gender-neutral pronoun zealots at Wilfrid Laurier University, attended the Conceptions of White exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery in November 2023. Even though Shepherd was keen to see whether her face matches with any notorious Aryans, sadly the ART tool was out-of-order when she attended:
I was so eager to do so, but darn! An “out of order” sign was propped up in front of the facial recognition camera.
Despite that minor technical difficulty, there was plenty of anti-white content to see in the rest of the exhibit: a painted chronology that Shepherd aptly dubbed the “timeline of white terribleness”; random pictures, paintings, and “schizophrenic ramblings”; other AI-driven tablet installations that admonish viewers to check their privilege; a creepy short film about racial violence; and other madness.
After trudging through this taxpayer-funded abomination, Shepherd had this to say:
The exhibit was palpably hateful and designed to demoralize. I left the gallery not inspired and infused with joie de vivre, but rather drained: it was as if I had just exited a zone of concentrated psychological warfare, and I had fortunately come out alive with my critical thinking faculties still intact.
This accurate assessment of an overtly anti-white art exhibit stands out in stark contrast when compared to what Barbara Fischer, the Executive Director/Chief Curator of the Art Museum at the University of Toronto, had to say about the Conceptions of White exhibit:
For those of us who grew up white in a white majority context, the contours of whiteness and the effects of its dominance may be, understandably, obscure. The curators, together with the artists in the exhibition, bringing whiteness out of the continuing, detrimental slumber of such obscurity and sharply delineate its presence, its biases, privileges, and violent effects. Conjoining the work that needs to be done, I am proud that we are able to present this acutely timely project at the Art Museum, and to see it forward on its travel across the country.
I understand completely if you feel the need to fumigate your office space or mobile device after reading that pseudo-intellectual anti-white drivel.
Even though the forces of darkness have access to all the once-fine institutions that were built by our ancestors, we can resist by not paying exorbitant admission fees — $30 is highway robbery — to see hateful anti-white “art,” and instead support institutions and artists that take our side.
23 comments
Beauty is ugliness, intelligence is stupidity, success is failure. Can you imagine the society they’ll end up with if they succeed? A dysfunctional Haiti, since Haiti is only kept afloat by Whitey’s altruism.
We are being destroyed as a race, genetically and culturally. Antiwhites say we should not care about our genetic destruction because it’s culture that matters. Meanwhile they destroy us culturally too. The truth is that the antiwhite agenda is one big hateful drive to defame us and destroy us in every way.
Given this, supporting pro-White cultural projects and meta-political projects makes a lot of sense.
“When one side only of a story is heard and often repeated, the human mind becomes impressed with it insensibly.”
—George Washington, letter to Edmund Pendleton, 1795.
This is true and important. We must remove the hypnotic power of antiwhite propaganda by talking back.
You got General Hans Kammler? Rock on! He’s the guy behind all the German UFOs, antigravity technology, moonbases, and all that. I don’t believe in those imaginative legends, but I sure had fun writing about them!
A shave can work wonders, I see 🙂
I’m not ashamed to say it: I have a Kammler coffee mug (“The Truth is Down There”), courtesy of Tino Struckmann’s merchandise. He’s the guy who explores all those abandoned tunnels and bunkers of Kammler’s programs across Europe.
Hey, you rock too! I just tried to find a place to buy one, but didn’t come up with anything. Shucks… Anyway, I love writing about the fringe science and esotericism from that era. One of my upcoming books is going to have the “Die Glocke” time machine. The last had lots of Haunebu flying saucers, and that one was a blast.
The Kammler mug: Click!
Looking forward to Die Glocke! Tino Struckmann, disappointingly, identified it as a simple helicopter (which apparently they already had back then). “Something that hovers in mid-air… hmm…” It’s in one of his videos on the Henge – that wasn’t a UFO landing site, either, but a cooling tower. We need more magic in this world.
That’s amazing, Clarissa, it’d be great if we all had matching Kammler UFO coffee mugs. There’s a new coffee roastery/Charles-Krafft-like-ceramic business opportunity here. 🙂
I’d definitely be on board with that! 🙂
See the link to the mug in my comment above. No UFO, though…
For the coffee itself, these are our guys:
https://abovetimecoffee.com/
Whoa, thanks Beau, that’s very cool! UFOs & old-timey grooming standards make everything better, I think. 🙂
Maybe I’m a bit paranoid, but the last thing I’ll ever do is upload a photo of myself to an unknown website that is literally inviting everyone who wants to validate their “aryan identity” to share their face. Eddie, er ummm Emily Gorcenski couldn’t have come up with anything more clever.
again, I may be paranoid
Besides it doesn’t work. Everyone’s favorite uncle only scored 71% when I just uploaded his mugshot
This actually makes sense. The features of most of the very tippy-top of the NSDAP hierarchy are not very ‘Aryan’ in appearance. Heidrich is really the only one that looks like the ‘Aryan ideal’. Just goes to show that ‘Aryan’ isn’t everything.
I’ve been sending my avatar to the ADL for years now and I never seem to be able to make it onto their infamous Nazi pantheon. I guess I’m just not ready for Prime Time.
Anyway, “Aryan” is very obsolete and almost meaningless terminology anyway, derived from the linguistics of Indo-European, which is basically all European languages and some non-European languages like Farsi. “Aryan,” therefore does not include Whites from Hungary, Estonia, and Finland, who speak the Finno-Ugric languages.
They may call this an “Aryan Recognition Tool” (ART) but they ain’t foolin’ nobody. I uploaded the grinning mugshot of James Baldwin ─ Happy Black History Monff, muhfuggah.
And Baldwin’s likeness came up as:
Friedrich Jeckeln 36 %
LOL, go tell it on the mountain!
Friedrich Jeckeln was an SS-Obergruppenführer (Lieutenant General) and Police Commissioner who fought Jews and Communists in the East the way that the enemy should be dispatched.
The idea that a high-ranking German Polizeikommissar looks anything like a Negro Native Son is balderdash and they know it. This is the dumbest AI that I could ever imagine.
Basically all this program does is loosely compare your mugshot to a database of Nazis ─ and it doesn’t even do that very well. Your likeness is compared to other Nazis almost at random.
Then, the program harangues you for being White and therefore a racist ─ either you are a gudwhite in endless rehabiliation or not in rehab and therefore a real piece of work.
Then they moralize a bit about the evils and limitations of phrenology or something like that ─ even though the Nazis did not practice any such thing. Like Margaret Mead did any real science.
Merely noticing racial difference is unforgivably bad, you dumb crackuh-ass. Sheeeit.
🙂
First of all, let me congratulate you on actually seeking to test a hypothesis about how the system actually worked. Second, let me congratulate you for picking a hilarious test-case.
I put various iterations of my mug in and got some weird results:
Max Ilgner 45 %
He was a technocrat and member of the board of the German chemical firm IG Farben, which manufactured the pesticide Zyklon-B. Cool.
Horst Böhme 38%
He was an Old Fighter with the single chevron on the right sleeve, an SS-Oberführer (senior colonel) and member of the SD Sicherheitsdienst (security service) which rooted out enemy saboteurs and subversives like the little Warsaw Ghetto Boy that wasn’t gassed at Treblinka and became an otolaryngologist in the Big Apple after the war. You vill put your hands up or I vill shoot!
Hans Kammler 30%
He was another Old Fighter or faithful Party member before Germany became Erwacht (Woke) in 1933. SS-Obergruppenführer Dr. Kammler was a degreed civil engineer who was poached from the Luftwaffe and became Himmler’s chief engineer. Kammler supervised the construction of the crematorias at Auschwitz-Birkenau and at the end of the war was in charge of all German secret weapons from rockets to jets. In his interesting 1947 memoirs, written while awaiting execution in Poland, Auschwitz commandant Rudolf Höß speaks highly of Kammler and his resourcefulness.
Lieutenant General Dr. Walter Dornberger who designed the V2 rocket along with Wernher von Braun at Kummersdorf and Peenemünde, wrote in his excellent 1952 memoirs that he resented the fact that Dr. Kammler and the SS got to fire in battle the rockets that they had created ─ but this worked out for them in the end because both Dornberger and von Braun got to work for the United States with Project Paperclip ─ with both men then going on to NASA. Dr. Dornberger worked for Bell Aerospace and von Braun directed the Marshall Space Flight Center, which built the Saturn V Moon rocket. Dornberger described Kammler as a Nazi Condottiere who still wanted to win the war at the end of the war.
Wernher von Braun 16%
He probably does not need any additional explanation. He’s a pretty dapper guy but I’ve got a lot more hair.
Except vaguely for Otto Ambros, one of the inventors of Sarin nerve gas, I don’t think I look anything like any of these exceptional people.
Interestingly, I put several different pictures of Generals Kammler and Dornberger into the search and their own likenesses did not get any of the hits, but Martin Bormann did. I don’t see any resemblance there other than none of them look like H. Rap Brown. Bormann also supposedly looks like Joachim Peiper, Himmler’s one-time adjutant. What’s up with that?
Fun fact for conspiracy theorists: Gen. Dornberger worked as Bell V.P. when Michael Paine, the estranged husband of Ruth Paine, worked there as an engineer at Fort Worth, Texas. Mrs. Paine of course got Lee Harvey Oswald the fateful job at the Texas School Book Depository at Dallas in October of 1963.
🙂
Anybody who TODAY still uses the word Aryan as a racial term is idiot. There is not and there was not such thing as the Aryan race, there are only Aryan languages, because Aryan is a linguistical term meaning the same as Indoeuropean aka Indogermanic languages, and in narrower sense even not all of them, but only their EASTERN branch, i.e. the so-called Isoglosse Setum, do not ask me what is this, I do not know. But I know that with such criterium the Iranians, Tadshiks, Afghanis and Indians, incl. Roma-Gipsies, all ARE Aryans, but the Germans, Swedes, English and French ARE NOT, because they belong to the WESTERN branch of Indoeuropean languages, or to the Isoglosse Kentum. The using of the word Aryan as a racial term today is more than obsolete, it is anti-scientifical, propagandistic, and simply wrong.
The term ‘Aryan’ may be obsolete in many ways, but it is still very common. Feelings don’t care about facts.
Anytime when you see some brown Bengalis, you should know they ARE Aryans.
Aryan sounds cool though.It may be an ethnonym from Iran,and that place produced empires,dominant tribes,and a super resilient nation that wasn’t lost to a long list of invaders and conquerors.May be a caste name from South Asia,likely a rulers group,by chance perhaps or superior military ethics and mental/physical abilities.Or it may have been picked up by recent western scholars cause it brings Ares,god of war, to mind,hypothesising a warrior people that overcame West Eurasia via mastering iron metallurgy,or horse taming and breeding..
..As a kid,first time hearing of an “Aryan Race” had me instantly bolted on,Ares being among my favourite Hellenic Pantheon Gods,together with aristocratic model Apollon,cthonian Hades,alpha female she-wolf prototype Hera,Ares’ libidinous illegitimate lover Aphrodite,and the cheated,but industrious master of technology Hyphaestus.The Idea of Ares as man’s all natural desire for conflict reflected much of the Greeks love for excellence,eugenics,gymnastics,combat training,study of battle tactics,that went hand in hand with the aforementioned nations strive for overall civilisation building,resulting in them thrive,fend off the Browns invasion,and later,contributing mightily in the triumph of their northern brothers,who despite carrying in them all the qualities of a future master race,were still in a rather fluid state..
..Anyhow,there may have been a race that spread its gene,worldview and tongue from Ireland to India.Or,it may just been that an original mother group developed their language,culture and religion at an unspecified locale,and they kept with it as they gradually expanded across West Eurasia,one race,one culture.West Eurasians and North Africans are white race with varying admixtures at the fringes and a basic visible division:North,white w.e.ans,and south,brown w.e.ans.I myself am Aryan,and if not,i’m White.
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