Including audio version by Jim Goad!
The Barbarians Are Here, But There’s No Gate
The United States is in the throes of another “border crisis,” a tiresome phrase which always refers to its southern border, because as annoyingly spiteful as Canadians can be, they don’t bring with them nearly the panoply of problems that Central Americans do. As far as I can tell, Canadians don’t bring anything with them; they just stay in Canada.
Estimates vary wildly, but some say that nearly a million poor, tired, huddled, fentanyl-smuggling, tuberculosis-hacking migrants are amassing near the imaginary line drawn in the sand between Mexico and the United States, innocently seeking “a better life” by crossing over and making life worse for everyone who already lives here.
It’s not as if they haven’t already been pouring into California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas in record numbers over the past few years, but the imminent reason a brown tidal wave is cresting south of the United States is that as of midnight on May 11, Donald Trump’s invocation of Title 42, AKA the Public Health Act, will expire. In March of 2020, Trump responded to the COVID-19 panic by resurrecting a policy that was first enacted in 1944 to prevent foreign intruders from spreading diseases into the US.
Unlike traditional immigration policy — which basically consists of giving “economic migrants” and “asylum seekers” foot rubs, head pats, and all manner of economic perks that native-born taxpaying Americans are routinely denied — Title 42 allowed border officials to immediately kick back northbound interlopers based on the idea that they constitute a public health threat. Of course, they are a public health threat and always have been in every possible way, whether medical, cultural, intellectual, or financial, but our betters in high places are constantly reminding us that “white supremacy” is our so-called nation’s most pressing concern.
All of the wonderful aspiring particle physicists streaming upward from enviably functional places such as Mexico, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, and even further-flung climes such as Venezuela and Haiti got the memo that when Title 42 is lifted, it will be much easier to cross into the United States unmolested. Border officials have estimated that whereas the current number of daily “migrant encounters” is somewhere around 7,000, this will likely double the moment the migrants don’t have to fear being immediately shat back home due to COVID.
Border towns such as El Paso — where in 2019, a gunman killed 23 people after he became all hopped-up on the “Great Replacement” theory, which we all know is a debunked white-supremacist myth, despite the fact that it’s actually happening and those who insist it’s a myth openly gloat about the fact that it’s happening — are starting to resemble open-air homeless shelters stinking of disease, desperation, poverty, and rank, oniony body odor. El Paso now looks like the Calcutta of the early 1960s — or, more aptly, current conditions in the Philadelphia neighborhood of Kensington, where a beautiful rainbow of whites, blacks, and browns gather together as one to fall dead of fentanyl that was almost certainly smuggled in from Mexico. According to one estimate, Operation Lone Star, a policy enacted in 2021 by the State of Texas due to the obvious fact that the federal government wants as many illegal immigrants to clog America’s streets as they can get away with before the natives get dangerously restless, has led to the seizure of 400 million lethal doses of fentanyl — more than enough to kill every living American, and then some.
These peaceful, humble, and generally diminutive migrants who seek to take advantage of American policies to the disadvantage of average Americans know that despite the fact that we supposedly have a federal government and fought an entire Civil War to give the feds primacy over the states, the majority of American states provide sanctuary in at least some places to illegal aliens. Such states, counties, and cities openly flout federal law, thumbing their noses and sticking out their tongues to say “nyah-nyah-nyah” to a totalitarian racist federal super-state that refuses to acknowledge the fact that no human being is illegal, no matter how many crimes that human being may commit.
But it seems as if the states and the feds are only pretending to be at odds with one another, because one can’t even finish eating a taco without federal officials reminding us that we are in the midst of an unprecedented humanitarian crisis — a weird, startling, and inscrutable global migration trend caused by things such as climate change, economic need, unfettered violence in countries of origin, and teeming, antlike colonies of humans screaming out in the wild to be rescued from danger no matter how much danger they import to our cities, suburbs, and rural areas.
Uncle Sam is clearly playing favorites with his adoptees at the expense of his own children.
They really should have built that wall. Then again, it’s childishly naïve to think that the government ever does anything we ask them to do or sees us as anything beyond slaves and suckers.
The last time I voted, it was in 2016 for Donald Trump. You may remember him: He was the guy who famously promised that he was going to “build the wall and make Mexico pay for it.”
How’d that work out, anyway?
Although the US Southern border is about 1,954 miles long, by the end of Trump’s presidency his administration had only built around 455 miles of barriers. Of that, over 400 miles did nothing more than replace fencing and vehicle barriers that had previously existed. Only about 49 or so miles consisted of new barriers. Those 49 impotent miles of “impenetrable” new barriers consisted of vertical steel bollards that had already been breached countless times by the time Trump left office. The drug-and-human-smuggling cartels, which from all appearances seem to be much more intelligent and efficient than the US government, were easily able to saw through the steel barricades using garden-variety power tools one could find at any Home Depot. You may be familiar with Home Depot. They’re easy to spot. Just look for the throngs of short, brown men standing outside and offering to do construction work if you pay them under the table.
And Mexico didn’t pay a penny for that so-called “wall.” US taxpayers did, to the tune of somewhere around 11 to 15 billion dollars. Sure, that’s only a pittance compared to the $75 billion they’ve already been forced to shell out to help the war in Ukraine, but one would have to be some kind of unreconstructed racist asshole to think that the situation here is more important than the situation over there.
And despite that big, beautiful, imaginary wall, and regardless of the harsh, draconian, flat-out bigoted Title 42, somehow those pesky and plucky migrants have found their way into America in larger numbers than ever before.
On Monday, Texas Governor Greg Abbott announced that since the feds don’t seem emotionally invested in stanching the flow of asylum seekers and aspiring welfare recipients into America, he is deploying a “tactical border force” to turn away the teeming masses. He made his defiant declaration while sitting in his wheelchair.
Despite last-minute rumors that the Biden administration is going to extend Title 42, or at least enact new measures that will keep out the constant flow of new cancer cells posing as human beings into the US, I doubt that anyone who’s sane or honest believes a word of it.
Instead, we are commanded to care for these intruders in a way that we are forbidden to care for ourselves. America is indeed an asylum, and the inmates are running it.
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