Herschel Walker
2,071 words
Next week down here in Georgia, a state that is just under one-third black, we’re expected to choose between two black men for US Senator. I’m also supposed to pretend that either one of them will adequately “represent” me in the Senate.
The Democrats have farted forth the incumbent Raphael Warnock and his shiny coffee-bean head. Warnock is the senior pastor of Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, where some fellow named Martin Luther King, Jr. used to be the pastor. Warnock has cited Dr. James Cone as his “mentor.” Cone has said things such as “If God is white, kill God.” Warnock is awful. He’s a slimy black Georgia Democrat in the vein of that odious gap-toothed female Sasquatch known as Stacey Abrams. There is nothing positive I can say about the man except for the fact that he doesn’t sound as hit-in-the-head-with-a-brick stupid as his Republican opponent, former football star Herschel Walker.
There are dumb black guys, and then there’s Herschel Walker. Not only does he have zero experience in public service, I doubt he’s ever harbored a single thought inside his head. I doubt he’d be able to name the three branches of government. I doubt he’d even be able to spell “IQ” if you asked him. He pronounces “kids” as “keeds” and “truth” as “troof” and “win” as “wee-in.” He is the GOP’s dancing ape in a suit, making cheap and empty appeals to God, family, and country. Walker performs an admirable feat: He makes black males appear even dumber than they already are. Herschel Walker may actually be the missing link.
Herschel Walker on climate change:
So what we do is we’re going to put, from the “Green New Deal,” millions or billions of dollars cleaning our good air up. So all of a sudden China and India ain’t putting nothing in there — cleaning that situation up. So all with that bad air, it’s still there. But since we don’t control the air, our good air decide [sic] to float over to China, bad air. So when China gets our good air, their bad air got to move. So it moves over to our good air space. And now we’ve got to clean that back up.
On school shootings:
Cain killed Abel, and that’s the problem that we have. And I said, what we need to do is look into how we can stop those things. . . . [I support] a department that can look at young men that’s looking at women that’s looking at social media.
On trans kids:
When I get to heaven, I want the Lord to recognize me. Because I can tell you right now, they’re telling the young kids in school, you can be a boy tomorrow even if you’re a girl. But I want the young kids to know you go to heaven. Jesus may not recognize you. Because he made you a boy. He made you a girl.
People are watching this race perhaps more closely than any other not only because a Walker win could swing the Senate in favor of the GOP, but because he’s this election cycle’s most ghoulish candidate this side of Pennsylvania’s John “Der Golem” Fetterman. At least Fetterman can use the excuse that he had a stroke earlier this year for the fact that he has trouble completing sentences. But it’s almost as if Walker was born as a stroke victim. Public servant? This guy isn’t fit to serve me coffee.
Walker has been endorsed by Donald Trump, who famously endorsed two Georgia senatorial candidates back in 2020, both of whom lost. Walker and Trump go way back — he played for the United States Football League’s New Jersey Generals back in the mid-1980s, when Trump owned the team. Here he is delivering a recorded speech to the Republican National Convention in 2020, attempting to dissuade rumors that Trump is a “racist.” And here he is talking recently to that blockhead Sean Hannity in a real clash of the mental titans.
Herschel Junior Walker was born and raised in Wrightsville, Georgia, a speck on the map 150 miles southeast of Atlanta that is, like many places in Georgia, almost evenly split between blacks and whites.
He’s a state hero because he helped the University of Georgia win the National Championship and brought further glory to the Peach State when he won the Heisman Trophy in 1982.
But the idea of him becoming a US Senator is as absurd as the idea of Jimmy Carter suddenly becoming a running back for the Atlanta Falcons at the age of 88.
You can buy Jim Goad’s The Redneck Manifesto here.
Since Walker struggles to articulate policy positions and may actually struggle to articulate words such as “policy” or “positions,” Georgia voters are left with the vague impression that he’s a “family values” candidate, which might be more believable if Walker had established a long track record of being a family man with any discernible values.
In September, Walker supported Lindsey Graham’s nationwide abortion ban at 15 weeks with no exceptions for rape, incest, or the mother’s health.
In October, two separate women came forth to accuse Walker of coercing them into aborting his children.
One woman says he paid her to have an abortion in 2009, then urged her to abort a second fetus in 2011, which she refused to do and instead bore his son. This woman claims he’s visited his son “maybe three times” in his entire life.
The other woman came forth to accuse Walker of having a six-year affair with her while he was married to Cindy DeAngelis Grossman, Walker’s wife of nearly 20 years. She says that in 1992, he drove her to the abortion clinic:
He waited in the car while I went in and had the procedure. . . . He was very clear that he did not want me to have the child and he said that — he said that, because of his wife’s family and powerful people around him, that I would not be safe and that the child would not be safe. It is very menacing, and I felt threatened, and I — I thought I had no choice.
Although Walker has denied even knowing who the woman is, family court records from New York State confirm that the woman gave birth to Walker’s son in 2012. Still, Walker says it’s all a lie:
I already told people this is a lie, and I’m not going to entertain, continue to carry a lie along. And I also want to let you know that I didn’t kill JFK, either.
Although denying all the abortion allegations, Walker also said, “If that had happened, there’s nothing to be ashamed of.” It’s an odd sort of half-confession reminiscent of another black running back’s book titled If I Did It. Granted, Walker has yet to be accused of anything as heinous as murder. Then again, O. J. Simpson was a much better running back than Walker ever was.
As far as I know, Walker hasn’t been accused of raping anyone, so there’s that. I like to give credit where it’s due. Maybe he is Georgia’s only potential black Republican candidate, male or female, who hasn’t raped anyone.
Despite campaigning as an upright, patriotic, traditionalist man of God, Walker has a long history of telling fibs.
He has lied about being an FBI agent at the Quantico facility. One can’t even qualify for FBI training without a Bachelor’s degree.
He has repeatedly claimed, without a microdot of evidence, to have been his high school’s valedictorian. He also said, “I was in the top 1% of my graduating class in college,” but the truth is that he never graduated from college.
He once claimed that Renaissance Man Food Services, his chicken and pork production company, generated $70 million in annual sales. He later stated under oath, though, that the company only averaged about $1.5 million yearly. He boasted in 2018 that the company had “over 600 employees.” In 2020, his company told the government that it only had eight employees.
Despite the fact that his campaign pushes a “family man who supports family values” message, Walker has had endless family troubles.
Cindy Grossman accused him after their divorce of holding a pistol to her head and saying, “I’m going to blow your fucking brains out.” She also said he once held a straight razor to her throat while they were in bed, threatening to kill her.
In 2001, cops confiscated Walker’s gun after his marriage counselor called 911 claiming that Walker had threatened to kill himself, his wife, and his therapist. He also said Walker had toyed with the idea of having a shootout with police. When police arrived at the scene, Walker punched a door, breaking his fist.
In 2005, Grossman’s sister testified in an affidavit that Walker told her “unequivocally that he was going to shoot my sister Cindy and her [new] boyfriend in the head.”
In 2012, a woman named Myka Dean filed a police report in Irving, Texas, claiming Walker threatened to “blow her head off” and then kill himself when she tried to break up with him and end an “on-off” relationship that had lasted roughly two decades.
That’s a lotta “I’m-a-blow-yo-fuckin’-head-off” allegations for a senatorial candidate, no?
For his part, Walker has tried to deny all these allegations, alleging they are part of a desperate Democratic plot to thwart the rise of the greatest dumb Southern black candidate for US Senate since the legendary Alvin Greene.
Whatever behavior he was unable to deny outright was already given a prefab doctor’s note in his 2008 book — yes, we’re led to believe he actually wrote a book all by himself — Breaking Free: My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder. If, perchance, Walker actually had performed any of the nefarious acts he’s been accused of committing, he is not legally responsible, because his medical diagnosis means that one of his dozen distinct personalities committed the crime and he — much like child-killer Hans Beckert (Peter Lorre) in Fritz Lang’s M — has absolutely no memory of ever doing it.
So when he played Russian roulette in 1991 because he saw “mortality as the ultimate challenge,” this wasn’t really Herschel Walker; it was one of his twelve “alters.” Walker says he was formally diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder in 2001 after he found himself wanting to murder a man who hadn’t delivered a car to him on time.
Temporarily confined to a psychiatric hospital, Walker would later say, “They told me I had a mental problem . . . I remember sitting here in this hospital and going, ‘Whoa, these people here are crazy, and I’m not like them.’”
His aggressively gay and apparently estranged son Christian Walker, who has carved out a social-media niche for himself as a flamin’-homo conservative mulatto, taunted his mentally-impaired daddy about his “family values” tap-dance routine:
. . . my favorite issue to talk about is father absence. Surprise! Because it affected me. . . . Family values? He has four kids, four different women, wasn’t in the house raising one of them. He was out having sex with other women. Do you care about family values?
On Twitter, Li’l Christian Walker amped up his histrionic attack on his dimwitted pere:
You’re not a “family man” when you left us to bang a bunch of women, threatened to kill us, and had us move over 6 times in 6 months running from your violence . . . how DARE YOU LIE and act as though you’re some “moral, Christian, upright man,” You’ve lived a life of DESTROYING other peoples [sic] lives.
The younger Walker also accused the Senate candidate of threatening to kill him and his mother.
Oh, and another thing about Mr. Family Values: It wasn’t until he started running for the Senate that the press forced him to admit that he’d fathered more than one child. The wayward football stud had actually sired four.
I wouldn’t mind all the rampaging hypocrisy if Walker brought something else to the table, but he’s nothing more than a big black brick of bullshit and stupidity. His very existence is an insult to my existence. It’s also a slap in the face to all the white Georgians who deserve better than Raphael Warnock or Herschel Walker. And it’s damning evidence that Georgia’s Republican Party might be just as dumb as Herschel Walker is.
Dumb black people are a fact of daily life here in Georgia. The dumb blacks we shall always have with us. But we have acres of cabbage to pick and thousands of businessmen’s shoes to shine. Let’s employ them in professions where they don’t drag everything else down to their level.
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27 comments
“And I also want to let you know that I didn’t kill JFK, either.”
I have to admit, that’s pretty funny. A bit dated (why not Epstein?) but funny. So there’s that.
This reminds me of the South Park episode when the kids had to vote for a new mascot and their choices were a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Herschel would be the second dumbest senator after Mazie Hirono, but he’d be better than that turd sandwich Raphael Warnock.
If I were voting in Georgia next week, I’d vote third party for the US Senate. There’s gotta be at least one person on the ballot worth supporting. The two main candidates flunk out. As Jim Goad concludes, “It’s also a slap in the face to all the white Georgians who deserve better than Raphael Warnock or Herschel Walker. And it’s damning evidence that Georgia’s Republican Party might be just as dumb as Herschel Walker is.”
The GOP goes out of their way to insult their voters, in order to placate their donors. Walker is not going get any votes from blacks, any more than Trump’s Platinum Plan won over any significant number of blacks in the 2020 election. In a multi-racial society, policy positions are secondary. All elections are racial head-counts. Even the dumbest political consultant knows this basic fact.
It’s like that cliche joke, “what do you call a black guy at any GOP conference? The keynote speaker.”
How did this guy win the primary? Zman has a great article on this week’s Takimag about how we aren’t choosing our best for our leadership positions. “In this war between East and West, one side is led by a collection of carnival acts, while the other side is led by men who seek to be great men.”
“In a multi-racial society, policy positions are secondary. All elections are racial head-count.”
That’s nonsense. As Goad mentioned, GA is about 1/3 Black, and a little over half White. Last election, the Black preacher man beat the incumbent White senator and former CEO of a financial firm. So much for the racial headcount.
Walker will win and will vote the same way any generic Republican will, which is good enough.
This is a perfect case study for why the two party system is for the birds.
democracy in the west was finished the day they decided they could win with infantilized rhetoric, eternal war and brown people. we must RETVRN to buckley-era firing line mode of public discourse (and dress, and social mores… and the accents … i have no doubt whatsoever that this can be achieved ) … what passes for politics, and politicians nowadays is just so dreadful — sure there were polemics and political cartoons from the very beginning of republican government in this country but at least they talked straight and their arguments were masculine … now, you paint yourself as the victim, and the trump card is people dying, because death is the ultimate tragedy — even at the end of a long, fulfilled life — imagine being removed from this vibrant, diverse, hedonic world, imagine the destruction or even sacrifice of the self … what horror ! — guns kill people, so they are evil — the coronavirus kills people, so everything has to shut down — if you disagree, you could just as well have pulled the trigger yourself
and of course it gets ten times worse when you throw black men into the mix — tall, athletic black men who have been able to go about their entire lives without speaking a sentence of ordinary english, articulating nary a logical thought, a comprehensible line of reasoning …
good read as always
Get real. Herschel Walker will most likely vote with the team. That’s way better than John McCain or Liz Cheney.
Exactly. I don’t seek to rebut Goad’s criticisms – how could I? But Warnock is awful and evil, whereas Herschel will almost certainly be a reliable GOP vote. The only ‘waves’ he might make will be verbal gaffes. He utterly does not deserve to be a Senator, but neither do most of the fools, traitors and characterological catamites in the upper chamber. Herschel will enjoy himself, and focus on making this seat his for the rest of his life. That translates to a very quiet and reliable NO vote against the progresso-communist agenda. And his mere presence will further enable the GOP to neutralize the Left’s “racism” accusation among the only persons dumb enough to take it seriously – befuddled but well-meaning whites, many of whom really are “deeply concerned about diversity”, but otherwise are basically ideological conservatives. And while conservatism will not get us to the Ethnostate, its positions do help delay the final downfall of America, buying ethnostatists more of the instructional and community organizing breathing space we so desperately require in our ongoing “race against time”.
He’ll vote however his Jewish handlers tell him to vote. That’s not my ‘team’ at all.
“supported Lindsey Graham’s nationwide abortion ban at 15 weeks with no exceptions for rape, incest, or the mother’s health.”
I also would support this. Why kill the baby because a woman accused the dad of rape? Women accuse men of bs all the time.
Just watched the ‘debate’ between Warnock and Walker. The only thing missing was having Shrek Fetterman as the moderator.
This country becomes dumber with each passing day; Idiocracy, that funny flick, becomes more non-fictional documentary rather than fictional comedy.
Good lord! Couldn’t the Georgia GOP find a Gorilla with sign-language skills to shave and put forward?
In Walkers favor though, he does seem to understand how air works… more or less.
Morality I would say roughly correlates with intelligence, although there’s a bit of a bell curve, with the very highly intelligent becoming somewhat amoral. Certainly anyone who votes for black disorder, voluntary abortions and escalating the disastrous war in the Ukraine by casting their ballot with the democrats has taken leave of their senses.
I was for Walker (in an abstract way, I don’t live in Georgia) because he’s not a democrat.
Then I heard him speak. Mother of god I could scarcely believe my ears. He could not possibly sound more ignorant and flat-out stupid.
The soft bigotry of low expectations, indeed.
This is funny, but can’t beat that black congressman who seemed to think Guam was a floating island that could capsize. I’m sure I would never have heard of that except for Jim Goad’s reporting from the south.
Could Georgia readers write-in Jim Goad for the U.S. Senate?
I can just picture those Georgia Republicans sitting in the country club scheming on how to beat the anti-White Warnock, and somehow coming up with Walker. They figure they split the black vote and White rednecks love football…Wasn’t there a single White lawyer or doctor or retired colonel in the state? Sad for Dixie, sad for the whole country. Oh well.
The GOP – in it’s race to be more DNC than the DNC – has arrived at a historic first: America’s first self-admitted clinically insane Senatorial candidate. Take that trannies!
I’ll be curious to see how this election turns out. Georgia is very much in purple state territory now. The vast majority of the state’s population lives in the metro Atlanta area which is a major corporate job hub. Because of this people come to the Atlanta area from all over the country so the white population there is very mixed politically.
Based on personal experience I think maybe over half of the white persons born or raised in the Atlanta area have parents who are from elsewhere. So while the city is physically located in Georgia it doesn’t have that much of a marked southern character. Or at least it doesn’t seem that way to me. Actual Atlanta and much of Fulton County is, of course, very black, with most of the whites dwelling in the many suburbs that compose metro Atlanta.
Herschel is, as Mr. Goad said, a very beloved figure in Georgia, at least among the native whites. I’d only ever heard him spoken of in fond terms and I know that he is often seen at Georgia football games and is generally happy to interact with fans. However, I had never once heard the man speak before all of this campaign nonsense began and I certainly didn’t know about all of his domestic problems. I can’t claim to be familiar with the internal workings of the Georgia GOP but whoever decided to put Herschel up for the Senate run really should have taken a few moments to think this through. It’s painfully obvious they ran him for the simple reason that he is black. But he never had a chance of getting the black vote. It would be one thing if he was going up against John Ossof or another white candidate but Raphael Warnock is a life long Democrat and a Baptist preacher, he is the minister of the same church that MLK preached at. Need I say more? I don’t know what game the GOP is trying to play here.
It would only have taken some brief conversations and a cursory background check to realize they shouldn’t move forward with running Herschel but it’s too late now I guess.
Kemp’s been a solid governor and from what I can tell is a sincere conservative so I hope he wins but if Abrams does it will at least be a wake up call for people. We’ll see what happens.
I admit Walker sounds like a real boob, but at least he’s mentally sound…unlike Fetterman, but still, you think…couldn’t Georgia find a competent white guy somewhere who is at least semi-conservative?
That being said, the argument that Walker would vote straight Republican issues in the senate has some logic. Latest polls show Walker leads Warnock.
The comment about Georgia being rootless has some fact. I’m from Missouri, and a high school classmate of mine lives in Marietta. She’s pretty conservative, and we Missourians are honorary southerners. You might read Jim Kunstler’s The City in Mind, discussing urban conditions of cities, and notes how faceless Atlanta is, an urban blandness made by air conditioning and having a super airport…much like the city’s historical purpose was as a railroad center.
Kunstler documents the blank life there of crisscrossing freeways and edge city development. He notes the major historical site is the Margaret Mitchell house.
I think a larger issue is how blacks seem poised to run Georgia and most other states. I think the deep state planned blacks to be the governing class, much as how they planned asians and Indians to be the techno class. Note how many blacks are police chiefs EVERYWHERE. Also as mayors, etc. So, there are logical reasons Walker is seen as a serious political figure for Georgia. it’s partly behind the scenes machinations, and a deracinated white population giving up.
At least it looks like fatso Stacey Abrams won’t get elected…but I understand a couple of years ago, she was offered membership in the Council for Foreign Relations.
“He’s an idiot but he’s our idiot.” Something Groucho could have said in Duck Soup about Chico.
With all of the death threats he made under his 12 alternate personalities, I’m not sure “mentally sound” is the right phrase to describe him.
The comedy is worth voting for Walker.
Two trips to the psych ward (nothing criminal) as a teenager many pre-woke years ago; schizophrenics, cutters, homeless junkies, horrific child abuse except no one in there was half as fucked up as these nauseating freaks purposely trotted out to mock us as perverse entertainment to the golem. They’ve managed to find and install a hen-cackling VP more hateable than darth cheney, lughead fetterman with a baby growing on its neck, and this retard. “If everyone at Sanford stadium took brooms and dustpans all ninety-two thousand of us good christians can move the bad air to Florida cause deys worse than China.” walker explaining atmospheric dispersion modeling of air pollutants would be fun to watch. I’d rather gamble on pedoDemento saying she sells seashells by the seashore flawlessly on the first try.
Who’s this “Pedo Demento” you speak of?
joe biden
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