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A Totally Racist Thanksgiving

Phil Eiger Newmann, Red Lives Matter, 2020.

1,278 words

I’m not much of a holiday-celebratin’ guy, but if I had to pick my favorite, it would probably be Thanksgiving, and merely for the basic gustatory pleasures it provides. I could eat turkey, stuffing, and sweet potatoes three times a day for the rest of my life and never tire of it.

But as with everything these days, there are legions of carcinogenically bitter social-justice scolds who have made it their fundamental project to squeeze the fun out of everything as if they wake up every morning hoping to choke a baby piglet to death.

Instead of living and letting others live on Thanksgiving, a killjoy named Professor Robert Jensen of the University of Texas recommends a day of guilt and self-imposed starvation:

“One indication of moral progress in the United States would be the replacement of Thanksgiving Day and its self-indulgent family feasting with a National Day of Atonement accompanied by a self-reflective collective fasting.”

If “moral progress” involves an endless spiral of self-imposed misery, I’d like to morally revert to the Stone Age — please pass the racist cranberry sauce.

In an essay titled “TEN WAYS TO MAKE YOUR THANKSGIVING ABOUT SOCIAL AND ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE,” a certain Eve Bratman likewise urges a no-fun, no-food day of self-flagellation:

“Let’s face it: white supremacy is actually deeply embedded in Thanksgiving. . . . I want to make this Thanksgiving more deeply anti-racist, ecologically rooted, and anti-imperialist. . . . Consider a national day of atonement to mark the holiday. That might involve some fasting, instead of feasting.”

That sounds like a great idea, Eve. But I’d like to up the ante for you: You won’t prove to me that you’re completely committed to social justice until you fast for five years straight. That’s right — not even a crumb or morsel of food until Thanksgiving 2025. If you refuse, you are complicit in the genocide of Native Americans.

If you search the words “racist” and “Thanksgiving” in tandem, you’ll be able to suffer through hundreds if not thousands of similarly miserable revisionist accounts. Instead of Thanksgiving, many dour redskins celebrate a “Day of Mourning,” which sounds like a real humdinger of a time. Out on Alcatraz on the fourth Thursday of every November, the benighted descendants of indigenous yam-diggers honor “Un-Thanksgiving Day,” which seems like a slap in the face to the white man for not stomping out every last one of these ingrates.

Dredging ancient memories of what I was taught about Thanksgiving, it seems to portray the Injuns as selfless altruists who offered food and comfort to the bloodthirsty cannibal Pilgrims. It seems quite kind to the Indians — almost unrealistically so. Why would any modern meth-smoking red man who lives in a trailer on a reservation and receives government checks merely due to his race take offense to this narrative?

More than anything, we are clubbed like baby seals with the idea that the white man “stole” land from the peaceful and advanced red man.

Well, OK, sure, great, but why was it so easy to “steal” their lands? (Hint: It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was brutal and bloody, and an estimated third of Massachusetts settlers were murdered by America’s Original Peaceful Protesters in the process, but let’s just cut to the chase here.)

In a hyperbolic bout of kvetching called “The Vicious Reality Behind the Thanksgiving Myth,” a feller who goes by the name of David J. Silverman insists that the Wampanoag Indians of Massachusetts were the English settlers’ technological and cultural equals:

“Human civilization in the Americas was every bit as ancient and rich as in Europe. That is why Wampanoag country was full of villages, roads, cornfields, monuments, cemeteries, and forests cleared of underbrush.”

Whoa — cornfields! How about cathedrals? Did they have any of those? What about books? Had they managed to construct boats able to cross the Atlantic?

Of course not.

Here’s why it was so easy for English settlers to best America’s indigenous (and demonstrably violent) tribes at the art of war — one group had more technologically advanced weaponry than the other.

Wampanoag Indians: “The weapons used by the Wampanoag included war clubs, tomahawks, battle hammers, knives, bows and arrows, spears and axes.”

Pilgrims: “Historical evidence shows an assortment of firearms came across the sea with the pilgrims. . . . Most were smoothbore muskets or fowling pieces along with a few snaphaunces (early flintlocks), perhaps a few pistols and two or three wheellocks of which one was [John] Alden’s.”

That’s really all you need to know about why the Pilgrims eventually came out on top. Every explanation that conjures superstitious and childish bugaboos such as “racism” and “evil” falls flat on its face and is likely designed to spare Injuns from the shame of acknowledging that the main reason they were almost wiped off the planet was due to their backwardness.

Remember — the moment you’re able to sniff sanctimony, the rancid stench of lies is not far behind.

It is also a bald-faced lie that the Wampanoags’ friendliness toward the Pilgrims was motivated by selflessness. Here’s what I’ve been able to piece together from historical accounts. . .

In 1614, a member of the Wampanoag Confederacy named Squanto was kidnapped by European coastal raiders and transported to Spain, where he was enslaved. If you want to say that’s a bad thing, fine, but is it truly as bad as being so primitive that you can’t even build a sufficiently large maritime vessel to do the same thing to Spaniards in retaliation?

Squanto — which is a great name to call someone passive-aggressively (try it if you don’t believe me, Squanto) — was then transferred to England, where he learned English and worked as a shipbuilder. When he returned to America on an English ship in 1619, he found that his family and a majority of his tribesmen had been wiped out by diseases that the British had unwittingly brought with them across the sea. Contrary to popular mythology, the British did not intentionally infect anyone, and if you want to blame anyone, blame the natives for having substandard immune systems.

When the Mayflower finally landed on Plymouth Rock in 1620, the Wampanoag were understandably wary of these pale-faced disease-carriers. But after a few months and with Squanto as a go-between, the Indians and Pilgrims signed a treaty of mutual military defense in April of 1621.

You see, these peaceful, nature-worshipping Wampanoags had been engaged in ongoing tribal warfare with the neighboring Narragansett and Massachusetts Indians, and it made strategic sense to form an alliance with strangers who had magic fire sticks that go BOOM. The Wampanoag agreed to protect the Pilgrims from raids by other savages and from the pesky French, whereas the Pilgrims would provide the firepower to help exterminate the Narragansett and Massachusett tribes.

Ain’t it queer how the true myth of Thanksgiving is that the Indians were peaceful and kind?

The alleged “genocide” of Native Americans — I put it in quotes because there are about twice as many Injuns in North America now than there were in 1621, and what they may have sacrificed in war paint and feathers has been more than compensated for with longevity and casinos — involved Native Americans as co-conspirators.

Now that I’ve set the record straight, I’m going to enjoy a slice of genocidal pumpkin pie.

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31 Comments

  1. Antidote
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 6:12 am | Permalink

    A Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. We are all dressed up with no place to go. We have a large turkey, gravy, corn bread stuffing, baby carrots with brussell sprouts, colcannon (mashed potatoes), sweet potatoes, beets, dinner rolls, salad, both cranberry sauces, jello, three pies, coffee or herb tea, fruit, ice cream, grapes, apples, bananas and a bit of hard liquor for those who imbibe.
    Three days ago the people we invited called to say everyone present would have to wear masks at all times. We agreed to this condition. Then yesterday they called the whole thing off because it was “too dangerous”. Another said the police would be out checking vehicles and complying with Cuomo’s fiats “and he ‘didn’t want to deal with that.” So one Injun is coming, and he’ll bring his pets.
    As far as genocidal disease spreading, never forget the Red Man had his revenge. He infected the entire old world with the horrors of syphillis and tobacco addiction.

    • 3g4me
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 9:54 am | Permalink

      You need better friends. Why are you comporting with Branch Covidians, anyhow? No company is always better than bad company. Just like the endless tales of awful Thanksgivings and Christmases with leftist relatives – why bother? I don’t consider anyone friend or family if the future they want means the infliction of misery and death on my White sons.

  2. Lord Cronqvist
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 6:16 am | Permalink

    “there are about twice as many Injuns in North America now than there were in 1621.”

    Only if you count Mexicans (who are generally admixed with Spanish blood) and the admixed White Americans that claim to come from a Cherokee princess as Injuns, otherwise, no.

    • Nikandros
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 7:57 am | Permalink

      No, he’s pretty much correct. The number of Siberian-Americans living in North America when Europeans arrived has been grossly overstated.

  3. Posted November 26, 2020 at 8:15 am | Permalink

    Just another nigga in the Penitentiary, hemmed up by the system.
    Ain’t no White mutha***a givin a damn,ya feel muh?

  4. Alexandra O.
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 8:55 am | Permalink

    I don’t understand why feminists don’t chime in to remind everyone of the horrors suffered by the pioneer White women settling the plains and prairies and deserts of the West — they were raped first, then scalped while still alive. Some of the young, pretty ones were dragged off to the Indian villages for years of further fun. I won’t go into further detail — I’m looking to have a wee dram of whiskey before breakfast now, after reading about the idiocy of the ‘Never Thanksgiving’ crowd. Thanks Jim Goad, for reminding us of reality on this day. I raise a glass to you. You’ve got your work cut out for you during the next four years for sure!

    • Alexandra O.
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 9:40 am | Permalink

      I would like to add that I raise a glass to ALL the Staff, Writers and Readers of Counter Currents on this Thanksgiving Day. I give thanks to all the people who are on the same page of this coming crisis as I am, and I encourage us all to stick together, and ‘each one teach one’ — as the old message goes — in order to keep our ‘ship of state’ afloat and its people safe. Thanks for your very existence!

      • Greg Johnson
        Posted November 26, 2020 at 10:29 am | Permalink

        Thank you Alexandra, and Happy Thanksgiving!

      • Nova Rhodesia
        Posted November 26, 2020 at 6:08 pm | Permalink

        Cheers to that.

    • 3g4me
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 9:58 am | Permalink

      Because ‘feminism’ is not about women. Just like everything else that is converged and pozzed, it’s about destroying White men and White history and White civilization. I defy you to find a genuinely happy ‘feminist.’ And modern feminism is heavily, heavily Jewish, which is why so many of those quoted by Jim Goad as moral scolds bear such special names.

      • Paul Ericson
        Posted November 28, 2020 at 11:51 am | Permalink

        One look at the photo of Bratman tells you all you need to know. These people (loose definition) must cluster in small self-help groups to the exclusion of the wider world just to get past themselves.

    • 3g4me
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 10:09 am | Permalink

      Jim Goad’s real history comports closely with what I’ve read. And for an excellent fictionalized account of a real abduction and brutal treatment by those peaceful injuns, read “Calico Captive” by Elizabeth George Speare (still apparently available at Amazon). I bought my Yearling paperback copy in 1989 – it says there was one previous edition, which I remember buying and reading at my elementary school book sale in the mid ’60s (copyright date is 1957). Based on the true story from the 1750s. Buy it for all the pre-teen girls you know, and perhaps help prevent them from becoming self-hating woke shrews.

  5. Fionn McCool
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    “When he returned to America on an English ship in 1619, he found that his family and a majority of his tribesmen had been wiped out by diseases that the British had unwittingly brought with them across the sea.”

    I’ve read that the plagues that killed most of the indigenous population of the Americas actually originated on the Spanish frontier, subsequently making their way up north before there was much English presence to speak of in that region. I believe David Cole wrote an article about this.

    Good article though. I am thankful for Jim Goad.

  6. Posted November 26, 2020 at 12:29 pm | Permalink

    Thanks to Jim Goad for giving us a holiday classic, I hope it gets reposted every Thanksgiving.

  7. Franz
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    For a good time this evening, try pulling up the Disney movie about Squanto, called “Squanto: A Warrior’s Tale” from 1994.

    The title might not be a joke, knowing Disney. I know of no one who saw it and wasn’t sure it existed till I looked it up. Yep. It’s real.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111271/

  8. Posted November 26, 2020 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    I want to volunteer my help to all white masochists who yearn to be punished. I have some ideas.

  9. Squanto
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    You won’t find a Jew blazing trails, building towns, dealing with potentially murderous stone age natives, and conquering a continent for civilization.

    But you will find him schlepping in after the fact, pretending to side with the natives he and his ancestors would have been scared to go near, and anachronistically pretending to be their defender while reaping economic benefits from the land William Bradford’s ancestors made nice for him. So the Jew gets to look like a better man than old Bradford while reaping the profits from his work.

    • Antidote
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 4:14 pm | Permalink

      True, the Jew is the great ‘piggy backer’ (npi). First they followed the Phoenecians to Carthage and Spain; then they followed the Greeks to Italy and Southern France. Then of course the Big Tamale, Roma. They took over all entertainment and slavery, then they got the Romans to protect them as they traveled up the river valleys to trade with the Teutons and Celts.

  10. rujv
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 1:36 pm | Permalink

    White supremacy just means historic accuracy.
    Deal with it!

  11. Wickatunk
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 1:49 pm | Permalink

    This is a better account of the state of Indian affairs in eastern Massachusetts circa 1620 than Anne Coulter’s current article. She makes it sound like the Iroquois were IN eastern Mass and terrorizing the inhabitants. That’s a big stretch. The Iroquois were powerful and did terrorize some tribes as far south as what is now Baltimore and D.C., via their cousins the Susquehannocks, and even as far west as Illinois, but I have never read of them sending war parties east beyond, say, the Connecticut valley. It’s a hobby of mine, reading about Eastern Woodland Indians.

  12. Reb Kittredage
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 2:20 pm | Permalink

    As long as CC is having fun disparaging its readers I’d like have my two-cents worth.

    According to Greg Johnson, metapolitics has two functions: first, to educate; second, to engage in community building. CC excels in the first category but makes no efforts in regards to the second, in my experience.

    I am involved in my own community building and need all my funds to do it. I am therefore withdrawing my support. By the time metapolitics, in the first sense, succeeds (“It’s a marathon, not a sprint”), there will be too few white people left to make use of it, given that the Left is pushing our heads under water NOW.

    The best dissident Right site, by far, is VDARE. The second best is AmRen, which is nice to its readers. If Greg Johnson were doing his job, he would edit the sophomoric articles that appear here. Most CC articles are characterized by wordiness, puffery, poor word choice, and weak arguments; they would receive no better than a grade of “C-” in any legit college course. Furthermore, excessive profanity (a recent addition) cheapens discourse and is the refuge of the inarticulate.

    I would make these criticisms privately to the editor, but he has never answered my emails, nor anyone else’s that I know of. So I make them here for all to see.

    I read this site primarily for Greg Johnson’s articles, and those of Robert Hampton, James O’Meara, and Ricardo Duschesne. I think Greg Johnson is our best advocate, writer and speaker. He says he values freedom of speech so that people can bring forward bad news. Well, here it is.

    • Rubin Farr
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 6:42 pm | Permalink

      No one cares.

    • Elenka
      Posted November 27, 2020 at 3:56 am | Permalink

      “Sometimes being a snob simply means rejecting that which is truly inferior.” Robertson Davies.

      Greg’s doing his job just fine.

  13. LineInTheSand
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 3:07 pm | Permalink

    I had Thanksgiving dinner today with a good friend whom I met through a dinner party including about 20 people that Greg Johnson organized 5 years ago. Thanks Greg.

    Happy Thanksgiving to our white family.

    • Greg Johnson
      Posted November 26, 2020 at 4:03 pm | Permalink

      That is wonderful news.

      Sometimes this thing of ours all falls together.

      Happy Thanksgiving!

  14. Nova Rhodesia
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 6:24 pm | Permalink

    People like this professor Jensen make me wonder about how many academics could fit into an active volcano. It certainly would do a lot to reduce greenhouse emissions not to mention the improvements in race relations.

  15. ExponentialDysfunctn
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 7:43 pm | Permalink

    “The alleged “genocide” of Native Americans — I put it in quotes because there are about twice as many Injuns in North America now than there were in 1621”

    When the African slave trade stopped in 1811, there were 1.37 million blacks in the US. Now there are 42 million or 30 times as many of them. If it weren’t for abortion, there would be 70 million or 52 times as many. In any case, just think, there are 30 now for every one there was in 1811. It’s horrifying and funny at the same time, because they’re quite successful at being themselves. I would rather have 30 times more Indians than there were in 1621, but to tell you the truth, I’d rather both groups have had only enough kids since 1811 to keep their numbers what they were then. Indians are definitely cooler though. At least they can tell you a story. A nonsensical story but a story nonetheless.

    • Ronnie Waters
      Posted November 27, 2020 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

      After a few bottles of Dollar Store Listerine, I could probably spin a few fanciful entertaining tales myself.

  16. Ex D
    Posted November 26, 2020 at 8:32 pm | Permalink

    “The alleged “genocide” of Native Americans”

    <blockquote cite="Our reconstruction suggests that Native Americans suffered a significant, although transient, contraction in population size some 500 y before the present, during which female effective size was reduced by ∼50%. These results support analyses of historical records indicating that European colonization induced widespread mortality among indigenous Americans. https://www.pnas.org/content/108/51/20444“>

    The authors also state that “few genetic analyses have found evidence for a substantial population contraction during this period (but see refs. 6–8), and several recent, relatively large-scale demographic reconstructions have found no signal of a significant decline..”

    Most studies show no reduction at all, and even ones that do show a transient one consistent with them catching disease and then developing herd immunity. Whites killed Indians no more than they killed whites in battle and raids. Usually, the Indians would initiate the abuse and whites would retaliate, though you could argue whites were the aggressors since they were moving in, but as Goad illustrates, the Indians were fighting each other and trying to encroach on each other’s territory anyway.

    In any case, this makes me wonder, if they can use a genes study to show that 50% of Native Americans died 500 years ago, then shouldn’t they be able to detect a 6 million Jews 30% of Jews died in the Holocaust 80 years ago? I want multiple impartial studies to be done the world over to prove once and for all how many Jews died during WWII. I don’t want them done only at Israeli institutions or Brandeis or whatever either. We need to get to the truth of this.

  17. Paul Ericson
    Posted November 28, 2020 at 11:44 am | Permalink

    I read the original article by the sanctimonious Jensen in The Independent (a left-wing sister of the Guardian) and it runs true to form … long on accusation and misery-broking and short on hard history. Either he or the editor have made a childish grammar mistake I see often among the faux-academic: the substitution of ‘bare’ as in naked or unadorned, for ‘bear’ as in carries or supports. So much for intellectual authority.

  18. R-ang
    Posted December 1, 2020 at 3:18 am | Permalink

    “Contrary to popular mythology, the British did not intentionally infect anyone, and if you want to blame anyone, blame the natives for having substandard immune systems.”

    Everything else aside, I’d be careful about this statement, if I were you. Their immune systems had no chance of being for diseases unknown on the continent. Simmilarily, many of ours perished due to American diseases, or tropical diseases in Africa etc. And you wouldn’t call a European inferior to an African only because the latter is able to drink from streams in Congo without purifying the water first, would you?

    Biological facts can be useful when used right. Unfortunately, this isn’t such a case.

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