How to Have a Dinnertime Conversation

Francis Hayman, Portrait of a Group of Gentlemen with the Artist (c. 1745)

862 words

Strict etiquette at a dinner isn’t as important as some make it out to be. It’s fine if someone wants to sleep through an entire dinner If they are tired from a long day at work, then let them sleep.

Dress doesn’t matter, either. Weaboos and men in drag are mildly irksome, but tolerable. Costumed furries are where I draw the line, though. Dressing like one’s species is a must, because real animals make better companions than fakes ones usually do.

Crazy people can be tolerable. They are usually humbler than normal people, plus they typically know they’re full of it, whereas many normies think they know everything. When racial decline is legion, dealing with a self-important person who is oblivious to it isn’t fun.

I don’t regard myself as overly judgmental, but my conversational expectations are seldom fulfilled.

In some ways, the company of liberals is preferable. They talk more about their feelings and sense of victimhood, which usually aren’t terribly applicable to others’ lives but are at least unique to them. The problem is when people drone on about something that is common knowledge or that they don’t understand very well. I’m as guilty as anyone of droning on about the most mundane topics, such as housing prices, but hearing other people do it when the information is online and more comprehensively described there is lame.

Here’s what a dinner conversion should be like: People who seldom meet should relish each other’s company while they can. One way of doing this is to go around the table and have everyone think of someone who each of the other guests reminds them of. To avoid offending people, vagary and white lies may be necessary. If done correctly, this can be a fun exercise, plus it equalizes conversation time so that all voices can be heard.

The sweet spot for conversational excellence is in discussing things that are both original and relevant to everyone. An example of this is when someone reveals new information or perspectives about a topic that everyone knows about. This makes for great conversations. This may be too intellectual for most people, but even just opining on common knowledge in novel ways is sufficient. Spotting unusual relationships between trends, pointing out irony for the sake of humor, and so on is good.

You can buy Greg Johnson’s Here’s the Thing here.

Good conversations also provoke people into thinking new thoughts they’ve never had before. Intelligent people are good at sparking new ideas. All that brain activity can inspire it in others. Even when the interlocutor’s ideas are not fully formed, they can trigger ones that are.

Millennials’ favorite topic is movies. There are so many that it’s hard to find a shared culture in discussing them. Plus, some people don’t care for fiction, and even if they do they may not share another person’s taste in genres. Worse yet, most people’s film knowledge tends to date primarily from their teenage years. Discussing classics from one’s youth may intrigue those from the same age group, but won’t inspire camaraderie.

If talking about movies can be boring, then hearing people’s personal stories is worse. Middle-class white people love to exaggerate their experiences as having been riskier than they really were, such as recalling the time they almost had sex with a prostitute in Vegas or when they almost got in a fight. If you really did something, then brag about it, but if you almost did it, then the best you can do is hope someone will care.

People shouldn’t brag about their past achievements or put too much stock in impressing others. The smartest people can see who you are regardless of how you present yourself, so you might as well give up on playing up your image and relax. I’m not saying you should embrace your furry side if you have one, or even your inner weaboo; just don’t worry too much about pretending to be a normie. Take whatever you can get in terms of approval and don’t try to get more or less than what people are willing to give.

Finding the right people with whom to have a great conversation is impossible for some. It’s not their fault, it’s just that they’re too unique — and often for not entirely negative reasons.

The reason why many people come across as ignorant and dumb is that it works. Not expecting or offering too much is a form of built-in humility which protects people from alienation. As the world grows darker and dumber, the compatibility problem seems to be solving itself in a very sad and tragic way.

Increasing social opportunities by meeting new people is often the best a person can do. Mere tolerance and mutual affinity exist at polar ends of a social spectrum, and finding those who are closer to mutual affinity can be difficult.

None of us will ever reach our full potential socially, because others will always disappoint us to some extent. You should therefore either cast your line far and wide, or learn to be content with the people you already know. Perhaps a compromise between both is best.

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