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Print March 31, 2022 34 comments

Gettin’ Niggy Wit It

Jim Goad

Hollywood never expected such behavior from Will Smith, who was the black man who persuaded white Americans that he’d never rape their daughters.

2,162 words

Last Sunday night, the world witnessed a black man being assaulted at the Academy Awards.

He was assaulted by another black man. Hopelessly complicating matters is the fact that the assailant was Will Smith, widely regarded as one of the most wholesomely antiseptic black celebrities on Earth.

In the late 1980s, when Smith, performing as part of duo DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince, won the first-ever Grammy for Best Rap Performance in honor of their almost toothache-inducingly corny song “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” there was an unspoken cultural consensus that when it came to blacks and whites, there were very fine people on both sides.

It was generally accepted that there were good old regular white people, and then there was white trash.

It was also taken for granted that there were good old down-home grinnin’ colored folk, and then there were those who acted like . . . you know . . . niggers.

With the advent of progress, we’ve experienced a tectonic shift: All white people are now bad, and all black people are beyond reproach.

If you look up “bland Negro” in the dictionary, there’s a picture of Will Smith. He was “one of the nice ones.” He would never rape your daughter or microwave your puppy or knock out your arthritic grandfather to impress his homies.

I am here to boast that I have never willfully exposed myself to any of his music or films. His only discernible talent to me is convincing white Americans that he won’t rape their daughters. He has been able to trade that, along with a vague amiability, to become the only actor in Hollywood history to have eight consecutive films rake in more than $100 million at the box office. The combined receipts for his films as of 2021 is nearly $10 billion. Despite the fact that we keep hearing that Hollywood and the Oscars are too white, in 2021 only one actor received a higher salary for a single film role than Will Smith­ did: the musclebound black/Samoan hybrid Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, who edged out Smith $42 million to $40 million.

In 2016, Smith’s wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, boycotted the Oscars when she leapt onto the #OscarsSoWhite bandwagon. Because Hollywood is too white — not disproportionately black and definitely not too Jewish — the Academy Awards were hosted that year by black comedian Chris Rock, who joked in his opening monologue that Smith’s wife was “boycotting” an event to which she hadn’t even been invited.

You can buy Jim Goad’s Whiteness: The Original Sin here.

At last Sunday’s Academy Awards — an event which last year couldn’t even attract ten million viewers when 50 million or more would tune in at the event’s peak during the 1990s — Chris Rock delivered another joke at Jada Pinkett Smith’s expense: “Jada, I love you, G.I. Jane 2, can’t wait to see it.”

He was referring to the 1997 film G.I. Jane, in which Demi Moore shaved her head when she became a soldier. Mrs. Smith suffers from alopecia and has recently taken to shaving her head.

You may be unaware of the fact that making fun of bald women is a time-honored tradition in black culture. The subject of Little Richard’s “Long Tall Sally” was described as “bald-head Sally.” Will Smith has made bald jokes and even gay jokes before and leaned on the “c’mon, it’s only a joke” defense when people objected.

Will Smith initially laughed at Chris Rock’s joke until he saw that his wife looked disgusted. Then he hopped up onto the stage, walked up to Chris Rock, slapped him across the face, and then did a pimp stroll back down to his seat.

Chris Rock: Oh, wow! Wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.

Will Smith: Keep my wife’s name out your fucking mouth!

Rock: Wow, dude.

Smith: Yes.

Rock: It was a G.I. Jane joke.

Smith: Keep my wife’s name out your fucking mouth!

Rock: I’m going to, okay? Oh, I could — oh, okay. That was a . . . greatest night in the history of television, okay. Okay.

At the point where Rock said “Oh, I could,” it seemed as if he briefly pondered making even more jokes. Since the Smiths have an open sexual relationship and Mrs. Smith has even bedded one of their gay son’s friends, many have speculated that the joke should have been, “Why don’t you tell other men to keep their dicks out of your wife’s mouth?”

Roughly 40 minutes after smacking Chris Rock, Will Smith — who has fantasized about murdering his alcoholic black father, whose wife boycotted the Oscars for being too white rather than statistically too black or Jewish, and who recently became the first person in Oscars history to assault a black man live and on camera — won the Best Actor Academy Award and took to the stage once more, only this time he didn’t hit anybody.

Smith won the Oscar for his role in the film King Richard, which was based on the life story of Richard Williams, father of black female tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams. The film was, but of course, a tale of noble black struggle against all this unending white racism they keep telling us runs rampant and unchecked. I’d known of Richard Williams because in 1997, when his daughter Venus and Romanian tennis player Irina Spirlea bumped into one another, Williams said Spirlea collided with his daughter intentionally and referred to her as a “big, tall, white turkey.” A quarter-century ago when this happened, our nation was so radically different that white tennis promoter Bill Stamps wrote an LA Times article accusing Richard Williams of being the racist in the equation: “His comments not only were unwarranted and in extremely bad taste, they revealed his own racist attitude. . . . Why must every conflict have a racial basis?”

With Oscar in hand and tears streaming down his face, Smith said: “Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family. In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world.”

It’s always the assholes and scoundrels who hide behind God in these moments, innit? Smith continued:

I know to do what we do, you gotta be able to take abuse, and you gotta be able to have people talk crazy about you. In this business, you gotta be able to have people disrespecting you and you gotta smile and you gotta pretend like that’s okay . . . Art imitates life. I look like the crazy father, just like they said. I look like the crazy father just like they said about Richard Williams. But love will make you do crazy things.

He was given a standing ovation for his speech.

This is not the first time that this seemingly squeaky-clean Negro smacked someone. He slapped a Ukrainian reporter for trying to hug him ten years ago — and in the climate of Sunday night’s Oscars, slapping Ukrainians might as well be a hate crime. British broadcaster Piers Morgan claims that around 2011, he had an “unnerving” tête-à-tête with Smith where he was warned, “Don’t upset my wife. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.” In 1989, Smith was arrested for allegedly instructing his bodyguard to beat up record promoter William Hendricks, who suffered six stitches. The charges were later dropped.

In Smith’s autobiography, which was published late last year and shares the same title as G. Gordon Liddy’s autobiography, he claims that he often fantasized about murdering his violent alcoholic father. He says that as a child, he once

watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed. I saw her spit blood. . . . That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.

I’m reasonably sure we’ve found a new defining moment for Willard Carroll Smith II.

Chris Rock had previously insulted Jada Pinkett Smith in his opening monologue to 2016’s Academy Awards. Jada had boycotted the Oscars as part of the #OscarsSoWhite moral panic. Rock said, “Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited.” Perhaps this slap was years in the making.

Shortly after slapping Chris Rock, Smith wrote on Instagram that “You can’t invite people from Philly or Baltimore nowhere!!”

Is that a less anti-black iteration of “You can take the junglebunny out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of the junglebunny”?

Smith showed up at the Vanity Fair Oscars after-party at around 1 AM and danced to his 1997 hit song, “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It.” According to Michael Schulman of The New Yorker, “In a Hollywood ending that seemed too dark and surreal to be true, [Smith] appeared to be having the time of his life.”

Will Smith publicly apologized to Chris Rock on Monday, saying that “a joke about Jada’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally.” He also referred to himself as “a work in progress,” which makes me want to slap him.

In between establishing himself as a rapper and becoming an unreasonably successful and overpaid actor, Smith became a TV star by playing the title role in the sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, which ran from 1990-1996 and was a rags-to-riches story about a vulnerable black teen whose family rescued him from the “guys who were up to no good” in his dangerous West Philly hood by relocating him to his wealthy uncle’s Los Angeles mansion. Critics have noted this show’s seminal influence in mainstreaming black culture. Author Willie Tolliver wrote:

What The Fresh Prince did accomplish was to put Smith and his character Will into an environment of affluence and possibility, thus changing the terms of his own Black [sic] identity. This social and cultural mobility is central to Smith’s racial significance, and this will become evident again and again; he moves the image of the Black [sic] male into unaccustomed spaces just as Smith himself was in the process of conquering Hollywood.

I was aware that Smith was from West Philly, and as a cabdriver who worked weekends to put myself through college in that gorgeously hideous town, I know how bad some of those neighborhoods can be. For example, my mother grew up around here.

Alas, Smith is from the middle-class Wynnefield neighborhood in West Philly. So, despite his violent lush of a pappy, he grew up in a less dangerous area than either my aunt or mother did.

The first black man to win the Academy Award for Best Actor was Sidney Poitier in 1964 for his role in Lilies of the Field. Here is the moment he was announced the winner. Aren’t you grateful that America is no longer so violent and barbaric and tacky and race-obsessed?

Poitier died this January at the age of 94. To my knowledge, he went to his grave never having raped a white woman, slapped a black man, or microwaved a puppy. Then again, I was too busy earning a living to keep him under constant surveillance.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar — the all-time NBA points leader who was born Lew Alcindor, and along with Muhammad Ali was one of the two main superstar black athletes of the 1960s to publicly “go Muslim” as a smack in the face to white America — appears to think that Will Smith figuratively bitch-slapped all of black America:

The Black [sic] community also takes a direct hit from Smith. One of the main talking points from those supporting the systemic racism in America is characterizing Blacks [sic] as more prone to violence and less able to control their emotions. Smith just gave comfort to the enemy by providing them with the perfect optics they were dreaming of.

America tends to worship its black celebrities until they act like you-know-whats.

Bill Cosby epitomized black American wholesomeness until it was revealed that he was a rapist. O. J. Simpson was one of the most beloved American entertainers of any color until that whole murdering-his-white-ex-wife thing.

Even O. J. Simpson has weighed in and declared that what Will Smith did was “wrong.”

Having O. J. Simpson morally condemn you is not a good look.

On the old (and much missed) Southern California Saturday night TV talk show Hot Seat with Wally George, Tom Metzger of the White Aryan Resistance once remarked of the 1989 Virginia Beach Spring Break riots, in which the mayhem was mostly performed by black students, “You get a bunch of them together, and they’re always gonna revert!”

And maybe that was the problem. Maybe there were too many of them together in one place, and Will Smith naturally reverted. #OscarsTooBlack?

But fear not: He will be redeemed. Scheduled for release sometime this year is Emancipation, in which Smith portrays “Gordon,” the escaped black slave who was famously photographed in 1863 with his back covered in keloid scars from extensive whipping.

All will be forgiven — for Will Smith, at least. White people will remain guilty.

*  *  *

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Tags

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34 comments

  1. Lee says:
    March 31, 2022 at 9:26 am

    Regarding the long standing tradition of black men making fun of bald headed black women, an honorable mention(at least the funniest) would be the song Bald Headed Hoes by Willie D from The Geto Boys, which contains this line:

    ”I propose a bill on Capitol Hill, kill all bald headed women at will.”

    Word.

    1. Gaddius Maximus says:
      March 31, 2022 at 12:11 pm

      My dude you’re an aficionado of classic poetry too eh?

      “You remind me of that monkey-lookin’ bitch Grace Jones!”

      Respect.

       

    2. PW Botha says:
      March 31, 2022 at 10:48 pm

      Perhaps “A pissed Will will kill for bald-headed women at will” will work too.    🙂

  2. PW Botha says:
    March 31, 2022 at 10:21 am

    I’m surprised Smith never blamed white people, or ‘internalised racism’ for making him bitch slap the obnoxious racist Rock, rocking his world. It’s the same shit manhating feminists pull when they bicker: everything is ‘internalised misogyny’ and is the fault of ‘the patriarchy’ when they have a handbag fight. It means that these braindead fuckers can just place blame for their own inadequacies and shortfallings onto the cock-carrying enemy, meaning they never have to take responsibility for one single thing they do.

    The most recent version of this blame displacement came from the white-hating mixed-racist half-kaffir piece of South African shit Trevor Noah, who recently blamed Da Blank Boetie for Kanye West attacking him when he commented on the nutcase rap superstar negatively. “Dat dere honky made me attack da Ye, Lawd! Da Caucasian Debbil made me do it!” Utterly nauseating racist swill. As usual.

    https://www.thewrap.com/trevor-noah-kanye-west-racial-slur-daily-show/

     

    1. Dr ExCathedra says:
      March 31, 2022 at 10:59 am

      With respect. The only form in which Whites should ever use the utterly anti-White word “racist” is, as written, in quotes. The far more accurate term “anti-White” is preferable. Any unironic use of “racist”, anywhere, by Whites only grants subliminal legitimacy to this word, which has been the most catastrophically destructive ramming-prow against us on the Bad Ship UN Equality.

    2. Vehmgericht says:
      March 31, 2022 at 3:03 pm

      Fear not: renowned commentator Tayo Bero writes in the Guardian to explain why the Oscars incident is rooted in anti-blackness and inequality. The overwhelming whiteness of the Oscars had forced Black men to perform a non-threatening version of themselves, but Smith boldly shattered all that, On the other hand, Black womens’ hair, she reminds us, continues to be a fraught and historically traumatised topic. Either way, she insinuates, white people are to blame for everything.

      1. PW Botha says:
        March 31, 2022 at 9:37 pm

        Of course we are! Hilariously nauseating. What a self-righteousness-pandering sick joke the Guardian truly is. This crap is totally expected. The middle class black anti-white racists love spitting on us and getting away with it. Gobby reparations, maaaaan!

        1. PW Botha says:
          March 31, 2022 at 9:53 pm

          Anyway, sing along forever!  🙂

          https://youtu.be/gBsDA8yfPlI

  3. Fred C. Dobbs says:
    March 31, 2022 at 10:54 am

    Can we name any black celebrities that are/were decent guys?
    I wonder if StepnFetchit was a stand up guy. He was the first black celebrity to earn a million dollars. He died penniless. So I’m guessing he had issues.

    1. Phil_Regular says:
      April 2, 2022 at 8:04 pm

      Don Bexley (Bubba from Sanford and Son) was reportedly a great guy.

  4. Dr ExCathedra says:
    March 31, 2022 at 11:02 am

    One of my revenge fantasies against my friends and family who are all submerged in the suicidal NiceWhitePeople world view is to tie them to chairs and make them listen to non-stop readings of Jim Goad pieces like this.

    1. Timmy75 says:
      April 1, 2022 at 1:55 pm

      Then some looped audio of Hillary Clinton speeches.

  5. Weave says:
    March 31, 2022 at 11:13 am

    Kareem is 100% correct. This insanely protected class of people are getting a little too comfortable in that position and very little remains as a barrier to keep their impulses in check. Smith KNEW he would get away with it, so what’s the downside for him?

     

    Chris Rock, on the other hand, is likely being told that he best just take it and shut up to boot for the good of the cause. That’s got to sting worse than the slap.

  6. Ill Smith says:
    March 31, 2022 at 12:30 pm

    It’s goad to hear some counter-narrative to the robotic chants of “Oscars so white”.  What would the news coverage have been if a white comedian made a snarky bald head joke?  Something about white privilege of course.

     

    I could imagine Will Smith’s dad experienced his wife making some snarky remark before he started swinging… hmm, sounds familiar as a moment that “defined” who he is.  After his role as Gordon, perhaps next he will play Darius Sessoms or Darrell Brooks.

  7. Shift says:
    March 31, 2022 at 1:01 pm

    It’s a shame Spike Lee didn’t make a joke about her.

  8. Davidcito says:
    March 31, 2022 at 1:27 pm

    Be on the lookout for a shootout between the two at the next event.  Chris Rock in interviews is one of the whitest acting black men youll ever hear.  He doesnt have the machismo of black male celebrities and it probably broke his heart to be reminded of that in front of 10 million people.  He probably refrained from the obvious opportunity to continue joking because he was genuinely scared of what was happening.  Dave chappelle is more hoodrat.  He’d probably have pulled a firearm.

    1. Enoch Powell says:
      April 1, 2022 at 7:59 am

      He was definitely acting white because he didn’t fight back when assaulted by a negroid.

  9. Josephus Cato says:
    March 31, 2022 at 1:49 pm

    Not even a week and already the event is being blamed on white supremacy and even Trump is being evoked.

    Wow, it didn’t even occur to me that Rock was contemplating maybe saying another joke, perhaps in the “get other men’s dicks out your wife’s mouth” iteration.  I still think this whole thing was staged.  The gulf between Hollywood and working America is huge and the ratings plunge shows it.

    I grew up in the 90’s and enjoyed “Fresh Prince.”  In some respects it was a sort of reverse minstrel show and that’s what made it so subversive.  The guest house was one thing, but the butler with the English accent was beyond on the nose.  I think that was the whole purpose of the show, to show white youths that there can be wealthy, white-behaving blacks, that are affable that you would want as your neighbors.  At least one of the creators of the show is Jewish.  The 90’s was when diversity and let’s all look at the individual was really beginning to take off. The thing is, the Banks family is a very small, almost an anomaly, representation of American blacks.  It’s like my Jewish friend who will say, “if all us Jews have wealth and power, where’s my money!?”  What it boils down to is statistics, if you pick out 10 random blacks in the US you’re probably not going to end up picking someone like Mr. Banks.  Likewise if you pick 10 random Jews in the US probably most of them will have a yearly income over $100k.  Anyway, the show wasn’t a representation of reality compared to the PJ’s which was essentially a claymation minstrel show to they extent that they even have a crackhead.  There’s an article on that show here on CC.  I think that the presence of black characters in Netflix shows playing as British lords is essentially subversive mockery of white culture.

    1. PW Botha says:
      March 31, 2022 at 10:42 pm

      Fresh Prince was just  ripoff of Diff’rent Strokes, updated for the 90s, in the same way that the 1983 Eddie Murphy film Trading Places was a ripoff of Diff’rent Strokes, as well. Only TP was so brazen it even repeated lines out of DS, and named  characters the same. It’s all just one big ‘poor blacks bringing ghetto soul to the uptight rich whites’ clusterfuck.

  10. Concerned Suburbanite says:
    March 31, 2022 at 4:43 pm

    Some real psychosexual stuff regarding his gay son and cheating wife clearly overcame his (Smith’s) better instincts, which is perhaps understandable. Men can only take so much humiliation.

  11. Bert says:
    March 31, 2022 at 5:29 pm

    New Orleans piano man Professor Longhair had a 50s(?) hit called “Bald Head.” It’s lyrics seem to be just “Hey, looka there! She ain’t got no hair.” Musically, though, it’s classic NO party music and is highly listenable.

    1. Shift says:
      April 1, 2022 at 7:36 am

      Yew got good taste.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K1nYIbZMW4

    2. Bert says:
      April 2, 2022 at 7:47 am

      Didn’t see the author had already linked to this. I’ll show myself out.

  12. Connor McDowell says:
    March 31, 2022 at 5:44 pm

    This pop-cultural event will prove to be the most revealing demasking of the pseudo-saccharine commercialized bullshit fake black culture that was invented by the you-know-who’s that own the media that has ever happened, yet only about 5% of us will ever fully recognize it for what it was.

  13. Middle Class Twit says:
    April 1, 2022 at 2:30 am

    Sidney Poitier did, however, slap a white man in ‘Heat of the Night’.

  14. John Morgan says:
    April 1, 2022 at 5:01 am

    Goad is the only writer I’ve read to actually not misquote Smith. All the MSM is correcting Smith by reporting him as saying, “Keep my wife’s name out OF your fucking mouth.” I’d say this is actually racist, since dropping prepositions is part of black English, ain’t it?

  15. Margot Metroland says:
    April 1, 2022 at 5:16 am

    Too many words (albeit entertaining ones) spent on what is essentially a routine dustup of mainly anthropological interest. People don’t go to the movies anymore, and feature films nearly always go direct-to-video, as a result of which most people don’t know the obscure titles that get nominated. Therefore, for novelty, the Academy Awards become a minstrel show, with Mister Bones carrying on with Mister Tambo.

     

    I say the whole thing was scripted.

  16. Texas Chainsaw Makeover says:
    April 1, 2022 at 6:58 am

    I say the whole thing is scripted. You see Rock leaning in and wincing before the windup, all this with his hands behind his back to suppress any urge to defend himself, kinda like base stealers holding their batting gloves while stealing to suppress the urge to open their palms and breaking fingers on the bag.

    The video of Smith slapping the journalist shows that he agreed to hug the journo, but was repulsed (as every hetero North American male would be) by the kiss the uke planted on his cheek.

    The video of the Venus Williams bump clearly shows Spirlea trying to get out of the way, and Williams almost running her over, then the white commentators totally taking her side (‘she handled it so well’ etc).

    The Oscars are sponsored by Pfizer which makes drugs for Alopecia. I confess, when I first read about the spat, I thought Smith’s wife’s name was Alopecia.

    PS Ricky Gervais’ epic goring of Hollywood at the 2016 Golden Globes is well worth your time on youtube. Ray Romano and Martin Scorsese and his paesans seem to be the only ones in the room who enjoyed the jokes. Hanks, Pitt, DiCaprio all look like they want security to remove Gervais. On another occasion, Mel Gibson God love him seems to get on well with Gervais who skewered him in some jokes on stage.

    1. Nope says:
      April 3, 2022 at 7:56 pm

      Scripted indeed. The clown has resigned the Academy in ignomony, and is having future multi-million-dollar film projects taken away from him. His ‘scripted’ idea is thus proving great for his life and career. Sure he’s glad he did it.    🙂

  17. Uncle Semantic says:
    April 1, 2022 at 7:43 am

    I would’ve said “You swing like your great-grandmother,” and brought the roof down on those self-fellating pampered insufferables. Or further diversified the cast of Dennis Villeneuve’s adaptation and retitled it CUNE to trigger worldstar ook-ooks at the Dolby. One of next year’s Super Bowl commercials-if amerika isn’t in WW3-will certainly have those two in a slap & tickle as goyim entertainment TV. Though I did like Family Matters growing up and to my knowledge none have gotten arrested or act like subhuman ghetto trash, minus a whatever blip of Jaimee Foxworth doing porn that Estelle my Belle doubtlessly would not approve. The boring republican line of needing black fathers who care and are there, plus having Urkel and Carl as academic over-achiever/good cop role models instead of scraggle-daggle trap house rappers and money mayweather (I’m sure bezos/ballmer/musk are so impressed) could not hurt to help rehabilitate their image.

  18. Richard Chance says:
    April 2, 2022 at 11:03 am

    Good to see Terrible Tommy Metzger quoted in not one but two recent CC articles.  RIP to a true warrior.

    1. Jim Goad says:
      April 2, 2022 at 6:11 pm

      My eulogy for Tommy: https://counter-currents.com/2020/11/tom-metzger/

  19. Tim says:
    April 3, 2022 at 5:58 am

    “His only discernible talent to me is convincing white Americans that he won’t rape their daughters.”

     

    I laughed out loud, what a line!

  20. Nick Hart says:
    April 3, 2022 at 3:44 pm

    Hot takes here: It is actually quite simple to publish race realist stuff on mainstream media. Since most newspapers are owned by jews, white gentiles, white nationalists particularly, can purchase them and then start publishing racialist stuff. I really think this will be good to our course.

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