Racist Bird and Fish Names: The Niggling Continues
There will come a time when you will no longer be able to behold the simple beauty of a white dove or enjoy a savory plate of whitefish due to these creatures’ undeniable links to the Ku Klux Klan.
In the ongoing stampede to purge history and nomenclature of anything that would remotely suggest there were ever any redeeming qualities to white people, ornithologists and ichthyologists are marching arm-in-arm with entomologists—who of late denuded the gypsy moth of its appellation—to purge all the racism and xenophobia from the air and water.
The Asian carp received its name when it was imported to the United States from—wait for it—Asia. But just as it’s considered racist to refer to a virus that originated in China as the “Chinese virus,” people who are so woke it’s a wonder they’re ever capable of taking a 15-minute nap want to insure that we immediately rename this fish in an attempt to prevent black people from punching Asians on subway platforms.
“Certain types of fish are being renamed in the wake of anti-Asian hate crimes,” bellows the solemn CNN headline about the recent move to rename the Asian carp as the “invasive carp.”
The Asian carp is an invasive species, but it’s unlikely that very many people would have even made the connection without this recent kerfuffle. Referring to this carp that originated in Asia as “Asian” risks the danger of “referring to Asian people as being an invasive species, which is just a horrible connotation,” or so says Charlie Wooley, Midwestern regional director for the US Fish and Wildlife Service. Wooley also referred to this past March’s Atlanta spa shooting—in which six Asians and two white people who never get mentioned were killed, and in which the gunman expressed no anti-Asian animus and instead said his rampage was rooted in a “sex addiction”—as the impetus for the name change, lest, I presume, gun-toting white sex addicts begin shooting at Asian carp.
Away from the water and up in the air, The American Ornithological Society has vowed to purge its taxonomy of “harmful English bird names.” In a scaremongering essay for the Washington Post titled “The racist legacy many birds carry,” we are warned that many innocent-sounding bird names “bear the names of men who fought for the Southern cause, stole skulls from Indian graves for pseudoscientific studies that were later debunked, and bought and sold Black [sic] people. Some of these men stoked violence and participated in it without consequence.”
In a CNN article about bird names “with racist roots,” we learn that Hammond’s flycatcher was named after a former US Surgeon General who wrote that blacks were “little elevated in mental or physical faculties above the monkey of an organ grinder.”
Sounds like a cool bird. Do these Hammond’s flycatchers make suitable house pets?
Jew Accuses Jewish Ice-Cream Moguls of “Fueling Jew-Hatred”
Intersectional squabbles are a perpetual source of mirth and joy, but perhaps never so much as when they involve pissing contests between people who occupy the same position on the progressive stack. Whether it’s black-on-black, trans-on-trans, or disabled-on-disabled, this white man never enjoys it so much as when the Sworn Enemies of White Men come from the same holding pen in the same imaginary concentration camp.
Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield are two extremely Jewish entrepreneurs who built themselves a combined net worth of $300 million by sneakily and shiftily culturally appropriating the Asian invention known as ice cream in what may have been a sinister conspiracy to afflict their goyish rubes with diabetes and heart disease.
Micha Danzig is a former soldier in the Israeli Army who now writes hit pieces for the Jewish Journal. A quick perusal of the headlines in his articles for the site reveals four instances of “Jew-Hatred” and one of “Jew-Haters.” Despite the fact that it seems as if he considers “Jew-Hatred” to be his bailiwick, Mr. Danzig seems hopelessly befuddled as to why anyone would hate Jews.
“Ben & Jerry’s ‘Values’ Are Fueling Jew-Hatred,” he screams out in pain as he strikes out at his co-Jews Ben & Jerry for their Board of Directors’ recent decision “not to sell ice cream in ‘Occupied Palestinian Territory,’ and further express[ing] its desire not to sell ice cream to Jews or others living anywhere in Israel.”
First the Holocaust, now no Jewish ice cream for Jews. Perhaps anti-Semitism really is rising to disturbing levels, only this time it’s a Semite-on-Semite death-cage match.
Proving that Jews truly are the greatest comedians, Danzig compares Ben & Jerry to Wilhelm “The Father of Modern Anti-Semitism” Marr and Karl Leuger, who was effusively praised by a guy named Adolf Hitler in some book called Mein Kampf.
“By isolating and singling out the world’s only Jewish state with hypocritical sanctions,” Danzig wails, “Ben & Jerry’s is giving sustenance to the world’s oldest hatred.”
I’ll believe it when they release a flavor called Mein Krunch.
Slopes Savage White Woman for Appropriating Their Porridge
I’m not sure exactly when the Great White Upbraiding began, but I remember a time not too long ago when white people were upbraided for ignoring or disliking the alleged “cultural contributions” of nonwhites. Back in the 1980s, you were called a racist if you didn’t enjoy hip-hop and Chinese food.
Now you’re a racist if you enjoy them. There’s no winning with these schmucks. I’m starting to suspect that “no winning” for whites is the entire point of this game they’re playing.
Kimmy Yam writes for NBC Asian America, where Asians write about Asian topics while bitching about how racist America’s whites are. NBC’s black equivalent is called NBCBLK. To my knowledge, NBC has no white equivalent of NBC Asian America and NBCBLK, which is kind of weird seeing as it’s a major news corporation in a nation that stinks to high heaven with white privilege and white supremacy.
“White woman making ‘improved’ congee apologizes, continues sales,” reads the headline to Kimmy’s latest in-depth evisceration of white American racism, and I glean a small amount of delight imagining Kimmy pronounce “improved” as “imploved” and “apologizes” as “aporogizes.” It’s the small pleasures that give one comfort in a time of war.
Without diving too deeply into the tedious details, Kimmy takes a white Oregon woman to task for “culturally appropriating congee, a traditional Asian rice porridge” and daring to “improve” it and alter it for “your modern palate,” and once again I can’t restrain myself from Kimmy pronouncing it “youl modeln parate.”
She claims there was a “sharp backlash”—otherwise known as a “shalp backrash”—among Asian restaurateurs for daring to suggest that a white woman could improve and modernize anything that Asians invented.
I wonder if she’d have a problem if I were to innocently suggest that some Asian car manufacturers have improved Karl Benz’s invention for the modern driver? Not bloody likely!
She even quotes Asian restaurant owners claiming that the hapless and apparently hopelessly well-intentioned white woman’s wording insinuated that their food is “dirty and disgusting” and somehow led to the upsurge of black-on-Asian attacks over the past year or so.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—beware the woke Asian. They show every sign of being the most fanatical, hateful, and ruthless of the woketards.
The Week in Fag-Killing
Apologies to the readers if my weekly news roundups have been skimpy on exterminationist rhetoric toward homosexuals. I hope to atone for that this week.
In Bath, England—which might as well change its name to Gay Bathhouse, England—24-year-old Andrew Dymock has been found guilty of all 15 terror and hate-crime charges stemming from public comments calling for a purge of all homosexuals and the outright genocide of Jews. News accounts are unclear on exactly where Dymock drew the line between a “purge” and a “genocide,” and they also leave one wondering if he had especially cruel plans for all those gay Jews you keep seeing on TV commercials.
Jurors were shown a 2017 article Dymock had written called “Homosexuality: The Eternal Social Menace” in which he had opined that homos “are simply degenerate and must be purged from society for the greater good.”
After his 2018 arrest, Dymock told police he was “part of the LGBTQ community,” claiming that “I am bisexual but lean towards being homosexual in direct conflict with Nazism.” He also wore LGBTQ pride pins during court appearances, but officials decided to yank him out of the closet and throw him into a cell.
As British authorities continue trying to pretend that gay pride and Islam are compatible, they stubbed their toes last week on a book called Islam on Homo-Sexuality, which was being taught at a Muslim boarding school in England. A sample passage:
Participants of the homosexual act should be slained [sic] because in filth and mischief of [sic] this act surpasses adultery.
Sounds like a good book. Is it available on Kindle?
Whenever I hear the term “Texas pastor,” I know they’re going to say something hilarious. Jonathan Shelley is pastor of the Stedfast [sic] Bible Church in Hurst, TX. He recently celebrated the accidental vehicular death of a 75-year-old man who was killed while marching at a Pride parade in Florida:
And, you know, it’s great when trucks accidentally go through those, you know, parades. I think only one person died. So hopefully we can hope for more in the future . . . You say, ‘Well, that’s mean.’ Yeah, but the Bible says that they’re worthy of death! They say, ‘Are you sad when fags die?’ No. I think it’s great! I hope they all die! I would love it if every fag would die right now . . . And you say, ‘Well, I don’t think that’s what you really mean.’ That’s exactly what I mean. I really mean it! . . . I’m not a violent person . . . The Bible makes it clear there’s a difference between putting someone to death and murder.
The oft-mourned 2014 death of the Reverend Fred Phelps, Sr. left a giant gaping hole in American pastoral fag-bashing. It appears that we’ve found his replacement.
Would it Have Been Better if Southern Baptists Had All Drowned?
Being 85% white and predominantly Southern, one would think that America’s Baptists would constitute one of the last stolid redoubts against KultMarx encroachment, but one would think wrong.
“Nice white women participate in white supremacy too,” reads the headline in Baptist News by a white woman named Laura Ellis. Although I looked for a picture and couldn’t find one, I simply know she’s white by the way she writes.
She doesn’t write like a Southern Baptist—she writes like a white woman who wants to avoid being attacked for being a white woman by pointing out how other white women, especially the closet Klanswomen who exchange the “horned hat for lipstick and violence for niceness,” are the primary obstacle to black achievement.
She writes about “colonized spaces” and “systemic harm” and “thinly veiled patriarchal lie[s]” and “rampant police brutality” and “microaggressions.”
Of course she brings up Emmett Till, because when was the last time something like that happened—assuming it even happened the way the popular narrative dictates it happened?
She also says that the idea that black men target white women for sexual assault is a “myth,” despite the fact that FBI stats demonstrate that white women are SIXTY-FOUR TIMES more likely to be raped by a black man than a black woman is by a white man.
Regardless of the truth, Laura Ellis feels compelled to bring up white slaveowners raping black women, because again, when was the last time something like that happened?
A long, long time ago—right around when the Southern Baptist Convention was founded.
Trauma and “Texturism” in the Black Hair Community
It seems as if every news organization, whether broadcast or text-based, has a “black” department these days, specializing in blackness and black topics for a black community which seems incapable of thinking about anything beyond their blackness.
Yet none of these news orgs would dare have a “white department.” I know that the kneejerk rejoinder to this is that “The entire culture is white and every month is White History Month,” my retort to that is, “That might have been true in the past, but now the entire culture is aggressively anti-white.”
Am I the only one not stupid enough to see that this will not end well?
Allure, which used to be simply a fashion mag for superficial women, now has a department called “The Melanin Edit,” which it describes as “a platform in which Allure will explore every facet of a melanin-rich life — from the most innovative treatments for hyperpigmentation to the social and emotional realities — all while spreading Black [sic] pride.”
Black pride. There. They said it. They’re “spreading” it all over like thick, gooey Nutella.
Patia Braithwaite is a black woman who writes for The Melanin Edit. Like many black women, she seems to spend nearly 23 hours of every day thinking about her hair. In a recent piece called “The Natural Hair Movement Isn’t Immune to Texturism,” she pours us a 40-ounce malt-liquor bottle’s worth of her thoughts:
If a hair hierarchy exists, thick, coarse coils aren’t at the top. And while white supremacy is at the root of the problem, Black women sometimes hurt each other with our internalized hair trauma. This is the story of how a terrible blowout pushed me to confront my hair trauma . . . We deserve to take our hair trauma seriously . . . In our longstanding commitment to dismantle white supremacy, we must also continue to heal ourselves . . . We did not create the system that privileges straighter hair, but we’ve inherited it, and so it’s another thing that we have to process and heal.
I’d bet that a one-way plane ticket to Nairobi would cost her less than she spends on her hair every month. Hair trauma solved! Let’s start a fundraiser.
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