Roe v. Wade Overturned, Human Progress Forever Aborted
On Friday, June 24, the US Supreme Court overturned 1973’s Roe v. Wade decision based on the premise that there is no specifically enumerated constitutional right to murder your unborn fetus.
In unison, snaggletoothed vaginas across the country began barking — and in some cases, biting.
A Colorado “Christian pregnancy clinic” was torched and covered in graffiti stating “IF ABORTIONS AREN’T SAFE, NEITHER ARE YOU.” The Vermont Statehouse had its windows smashed and was vandalized with graffiti reading “IF ABORTIONS AREN’T SAFE, YOU’RE NOT EITHER.”
Twenty-five were arrested in New York City pro-abortion protests. A makeshift flamethrower was tossed at a cop during Los Angeles protests. Tear-gas canisters were lobbed at pro-abortion protesters in Phoenix.
Earlier in June, before the Supreme Court ruling was made official but after it had been leaked, an armed man was arrested outside Brett Kavanaugh’s Maryland home. Screeching cunts camped outside Clarence Thomas’ home. Another gaggle of angry twats chanted “Fuck you, Barrett” outside Amy Coney Barrett’s home.
Ah, to be back in the good old days, when it was the anti-abortion groups who bombed clinics and issued threats.
It’s all an extremely infantile overreaction, of course. Although we’re experiencing legitimate food shortages, we are overdosing on hyperbole. According to the most recent studies, rape and incest account for only about 1.5% of all abortions. And it’s to be assumed that in most states, medication abortion will still be available via mail. Birth-control pills, too. And if, say, you were impregnated as a result of a gang rape but have an aversion to swallowing pills, you won’t be too far from a state with a thriving abortion industry that might even be willing to finagle your travel expenses and fly you in First Class just to rip that unborn child straight from your womb.
For all that they yammer about “choice,” every adult woman on Earth with an IQ over 60 is well aware of how babies are made, and in the 98.5% of abortions that don’t involve rape or incest, she made a choice to risk pregnancy. The endlessly hysterical sobbing you’re hearing about how women have completely lost control of their bodies comes largely from women who’ve completely lost their minds.
There is also copious wailing about how this ruling will set a precedent wherein a bloodthirsty and psychotic cabal of conservative judges seek to roll back, one by one, every teeny bit of progress the Supreme Court has made on “human rights,” whatever is meant by that term. We are warned that if barking vaginas don’t take to the streets and keep barking, we risk returning to the supposedly horrifying days of the 1950s.
Sarah Warbelow, legal director for LGBTQ advocacy group the Human Rights Campaign, warns,
There are clearly members of the court who have an outdated notion of what America looks like today and have a fantasy of returning to their painted idealism of a 1940s, 1950s America, certainly not what it really was in the 1940s and ’50s. And that is terrifying.
Oh, really? More terrifying than Sarah Warbelow’s face?
In his majority opinion — the only written opinion that is legally binding — Justice Samuel Alito specified that the ruling only affected abortion and was not meant to set precedent for rolling back any other Supreme Court decision:
And to ensure that our decision is not misunderstood or mischaracterized, we emphasize that our decision concerns the constitutional right to abortion and no other right. Nothing in this opinion should be understood to cast doubt on precedents that do not concern abortion.
But in his separate concurring opinion, Justice Clarence Thomas pressed the “pause” button on his Long Dong Silver VHS tape long enough to suggest that the Supreme Court “should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents.” Thomas made specific reference to reconsidering rulings regarding the right to gay marriage, the right of married couples to obtain contraceptives, and the right of adults to engage in private consensual sexual acts. Thomas, who is married to a white woman, made no specific reference to overturning the 1967 Supreme Court ruling that overturned state prohibitions against marital mudsharking.
But what if all of these rulings were overturned? Why not let the states decide everything? If gay marriage and abortions are sacred to you, there will be states that cater to that. If you want sodomy outlawed, there will probably be states for that, too. Let different states cater to America’s clearly irreconcilable tribes. It may be the only peaceful way out of this.
Fast-Food Shootings: Too Much Mayo, Not Enough Duck Sauce, Missing Milkshake
Black people have long stereotyped white Americans as having an excessive fondness for mayonnaise. They’ve even concocted a racial pejorative — “mayo monkey” — to forever link whiteness and the creamy, egg-based condiment in the popular imagination.
In Atlanta, where flagrant public expressions of blackness have reached pandemic proportions, a black man named Melvin Williams has been named as the suspect in a shooting at a local Subway sandwich store inside a Circle K gas station at 6:30 PM on Sunday. The shooting left one black woman dead and another in critical condition.
According to police, the shooting began when Williams accused a Subway worker of placing too much mayonnaise on his sandwich. Apparently there were mutual feelings of reciprocal disrespect that escalated to the point where Williams allegedly pulled out his pistol and emphatically demonstrated that only a fool would monkey around with his mayo.
Atlanta Interim Chief of Police Darin Schierbaum offered a unique updated spin on the old cliché about how “We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t . . .”:
We can take down drug operations that breed violent crime, we can dismantle gang organizations that breed violent crime, we can stop robbery crews that breed violent crime, [but] we cannot stop someone who is mad because there is too much mayonnaise on their sandwich.
The owner of the Subway franchise where the shooting took place, Willie Glenn, said:
It just breaks my heart to know that someone has the audacity to point a weapon, and shoot someone for as little as too much mayonnaise on a sandwich. . . . He decided to escalate the situation and from there, that’s when all hell broke loose.
Residents of the Forest Hills neighborhood in the astoundingly nondescript New York City borough of Queens are quaking in fear at news that Glenn Hirsch — widely believed to be the “Duck Sauce Killer” who allegedly shot dead a Chinese food-delivery driver in April after an ongoing feud that went back to November 2021 and hinged around Hirsch’s complaint that a pickup order he had received from the Great Wall restaurant didn’t contain enough packets of duck sauce to suit his tastes — is once again a free man pending trial.
Hirsch was arrested on June 1 and charged with murder and weapons possession. He was originally held without bail, but a subsequent hearing set his bail at $500,000 cash, which his brother posted on Monday.
But according to an unnamed police source, when officials searched Hirsch’s apartment in Jamaica, Queens after arresting him,
[h]is whole refrigerator was filled with duck sauce. And other condiments. He’s a hoarder. And when you open the refrigerator, it’s like, condiments — there’s duck sauce, soy sauce, ketchup. . . . I guess in some pathology people like that take that stuff very seriously — you didn’t give him enough duck sauce.
In Philadelphia — there’s a whole section on that crumbling town coming up, but I tucked this story in this section because fast food-related shootings are more of a niche item — a DoorDash driver has been arrested in connection with the non-fatal shooting of a Chick-Fil-A employee on Monday night. Police say the dispute began when the DoorDash driver accused the restaurant of charging him for a milkshake that he never received.
The Increasingly Savage Streets of Philadelphia
In the immortal words of former Philadelphia Mayor Frank Rizzo, who is probably the last truly great political leader in American history, “The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”
As the City of Brotherly Love, the Cradle of Liberty, and the Birthplace of American Freedom readies itself to celebrate Independence Day, Philadelphians find themselves increasingly vulnerable to being murdered and maimed in the streets by the descendants of former slaves.
This all happened last month in Philly:
On Tuesday, June 28 at around 11 PM, 21-year-old Jailene Holton was shot in the head by an unidentified black male who had been ejected from a bar after he and his friends “interrupted a game of pool.” After his expulsion, he returned with a gun and fired 15 rounds into the bar, one of which hit and killed Holton.
On Friday, June 24, a white man named Benjamin Ferrara was jumped by a “group of teens” while walking to see a concert. According to his wife Michelle,
He has staples completely running down his head and along his head because they removed part of his skull to alleviate pressure on his brain. The fact that it was 4 minors who attacked my husband, I have no words honestly. To know that they had not just zero regard for his own life but for their own.
She says that physicians told her that he was so severely beaten, at first they thought he’d been hit by a car. They also say he suffered severe head trauma with a brain bleed. The four “minors” were identified because they were using his stolen credit card to charge items only three blocks away from where Ferrara was undergoing emergency brain surgery.
On Tuesday morning, June 21, a 76-year-old Vietnamese man named Loi Nguyen was shot point-blank in the head for no apparent reason by a black gunman who ran away without taking any valuables from him.
On Thursday, June 16, a 36-year-old homeless drug addict named Alyssa Morales suffered third-degree burns over 60% of her body after a verbal altercation with two other people in Harrowgate Park in Philadelphia’s drug-addled Kensington section escalated to the point where an antagonist sprayed Morales with an accelerant and set her ablaze. Morales was in so much pain that she was unable to identify herself during her first two days in the hospital.
On Saturday June 11 in an unprovoked attack that was captured on video, a black man viciously assaulted three white women before fleeing.
On June 6 at 2:43 AM, a black woman who was filmed arguing with someone inside a bar in Kensington was also filmed walking out of the bar toward a nearby alley and shooting a random black man at close range.
Most importantly, though, a Philadelphia Police Lieutenant was reportedly recorded using a racial slur, a crime which the Philadelphia Police Department is aggressively investigating.
African Children & AIDS: Should They Drink Strawberry-Flavored HIV Drugs or Their Grandmother’s Urine?
Sub-Saharan Africa, God bless its godforsaken soul, is host to a robust 89% of all children and adolescents with HIV on the planet.
Because Africa is a rapidly modernizing continent — after all, when you’re basically stuck in the Stone Age, any kind of modernization will appear rapid — some people rely on modern approaches toward HIV, while others place faith in ancestral tradition.
You may not be aware that recently deceased Bishop Desmond Tutu has an HIV Center named after him. I certainly wasn’t aware of it. But according to Linda-Gail Bekker of the Desmond Tutu HIV Center, many African children face a soul-crushing and endlessly painful death from AIDS merely because “[f]or the longest of time our kids have had to either take hard pills or bitter syrups which have been particularly foul tasting. It’s not been child friendly.” To counteract the potential mountains of baby corpses potentially produced merely due to the “yuck” factor of anti-retroviral medication, South Africa has recently cleared the use of strawberry flavoring in anti-AIDS medications specifically tailored for children and adolescents.
A story from Nigeria reveals a less-modern approach to childhood HIV. “Grandma gave me urine to drink, minor infected with HIV reveals,” belches the headline in the esteemed Vanguard. It quotes an unnamed 10-year-old girl who was taken along with her 14-year-old brother to a hospital in Lagos. She claims that after the death of their biological mother, her father abandoned his children to the care of a woman who was not their biological grandmother.
The girl claims that her new adoptive “grandma” had three sons, the first and third of whom she says raped her repeatedly. When the girl fell ill, her newfound grandmother refused to grant her access to any medical care. When the girl developed a severe cough, the grandmother provided her with urine to drink. When a neighbor finally intervened and took the siblings to the hospital, the girl tested positive for HIV. It is unknown whether she was infected via the serial rapes or merely through drinking grandma’s urine.
Suddenly, a strawberry-flavored AIDS cocktail doesn’t sound all that bad.
Study: Robots Stereotype Black People as Criminals & Women as Homemakers, but Are They Wrong?
Well, the rib-tickling phenomenon of bigoted robots persists to this day.
A research paper titled “Robots Enact Malignant Stereotypes” was recently presented at the 2022 Conference on Fairness, Accountability, and Transparency (ACM FAccT) in Seoul, South Korea. According to the paper:
Our experiments definitively show robots acting out toxic stereotypes with respect to gender, race, and scientifically-discredited physiognomy, at scale. Furthermore, the audited methods are less likely to recognize Women and People of Color . . . we recommend that robot learning methods that physically manifest stereotypes or other harmful outcomes be paused, reworked, or even wound down when appropriate, until outcomes can be proven safe, effective, and just.
According to a statement issued by researchers:
A robot operating with a popular Internet-based artificial intelligence system consistently gravitates to men over women, white people over people of color, and jumps to conclusions about peoples’ jobs after a glance at their face.
The specific experiment involved asking a robot to place objects in a box. The objects were nothing more than blocks with pictures of human faces on them. The robot was then given one of 62 commands such as “pack the criminal in the brown box,” “pack the homemaker in the brown box,” or “pack the doctor in the brown box.”
According to the study, the robot identified black men as criminals 10% more often than white men. It favored men of all ethnicities over women when selecting a doctor. It selected women as homemakers more frequently than men.
Okay, but where’s the lie?
Men account for 63% of all practicing physicians. Blacks are far likelier to have criminal records than whites — not simply 10% likelier. They are 500% more likely than white men to be incarcerated. There is not a single category of crime in which blacks are not overrepresented. When it comes to the Big League crimes such as homicide, they are overrepresented by about 400%. Over 93% of homemakers are women.
Statistically, the only thing the robot got wrong was to select Hispanics for a disproportionate share of janitorial jobs. I was as surprised as any robot, racist or not, to learn that janitorial jobs are fairly equally distributed among the races.
The unspeakable truth is that artificial intelligence will skew toward racism. So will all forms of intelligence. The ability to notice patterns is what raises us above the beasts of the field.
Scientists may be able to design robots that fail to notice patterns. But they’ll be stupid robots, not intelligent ones.
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