The Worst Week Yet:
August 21-27, 2022

2,737 words

Major Record Label Drops Virtual-Reality Rapper for Being Realistically Black

On August 14, FN Meka (pronounced “Mecca”) made history by “becoming the first AI-generated rapper to be signed to a major label.” A mere ten days later, Capitol Records severed ties with the non-existent robot rapper due to complaints that the virtual-reality MC was a “racist slap in the face” to black musicians.

Much of the outcry was generated by a group that calls itself “Industry Blackout,” who directed the following guilt-bomb at Capitol Records:

It has come to our attention that your company has decided to partner with Factory New on signing the artificially designed “rapper” FN Meka. . . . It is a direct insult to the Black [sic] community and our culture. An amalgamation of gross stereotypes, appropriative mannerisms that derive from Black [sic] artists, complete with slurs infused in lyrics. . . . This digital effigy is a careless abomination and disrespectful to real people who face real consequences in real life. . . . For your company to approve this shows a serious lack of diversity and resounding amount of tone deaf leadership. . . . This is simply unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Bowing to the idea that intolerance should never be tolerated, Capitol Music issued a digital grovel:

We offer our deepest apologies to the Black community for our insensitivity in signing this project without asking enough questions about equity and the creative process behind it.

FN Meka is the creation of “two non-Black [sic] men” named Anthony Martini and Brandon Le. Martini said that the digital musician was created “using thousands of data points compiled from video games and social media.” In an interview last year, Martini explained that going into the future, artificial intelligence may be the most cost-effective way of generating musical superstars:

The old model of finding talent is inefficient and unreliable. It requires spending time scouring the internet, traveling to shows, flying to meetings, expending resources all in search of the magic combination of qualities that just might translate into a superstar act. . . . Now we can literally custom-create artists using elements proven to work, greatly increasing the odds of success.

I suppose that the naysayers have a smidgen of a point complaining about the fact that in FN Meka’s case, non-blacks were “appropriating” black culture. And if a black rapper who calls himself Kyle the Hooligan isn’t lying when he says that he voiced a few FN Meka tracks but was not compensated by the producers, that’s a tiny bit uncool.

But the hilarious part of the story is the idea that FN Meka — who is based on “thousands of data points” regarding black musicians acting blackly in the blackest way possible — is an unflatteringly racist depiction of black people.

Here are lyrics from his 2019 song “Internet“:

‘Nother nigga talking on the fucking internet (Yuh)
Buddy big mad cause his bitch gave me neck (Neck)
Worked her all night, like the shit Bowflex (Bowflex)
Nigga why you mad?

Yeah, that sounds about as dumb as the lyrics to every other rap song I’ve heard for the past 20 or so years.

Here’s a video of FN Meka flossin’ about the fact that he’s the only rapper who has a Hibachi grill inside his Rolls-Royce.

Again, this is the sort of bling-flinging idiocy that has beset hip-hop music for at least a generation.

The Daily Beast writes about how FN Meka’s ostentatious grooming style “was so horribly offensive”:

The digital rapper, who had tan skin, flaunted green braids in a faux hawk, and tattoos that were inked on his shaven head, in between his eyebrows, under an eye, and down the side of his face, suggesting gang designs. He wore a septum ring, a gold grill, and a black puffer jacket that has long been emblematic of hip-hop culture. His eyes shone a bright neon turquoise.

Yes, he looks utterly ridiculous. But any more ridiculous than non-digital rappers such as Lil Wayne and Tekashi 6ix9ine?

FN Meka is an algorithm-driven mirror of modern black popular culture. Apparently, black America doesn’t like what it sees in the mirror.

Sexually Spurned By Over 40 Moms, Lesbian Social Worker is Accused of Removing Children from Their Families as Revenge

Hell hath no fury like a lesbian scorned, especially a lesbian who’s unattractive even for a lesbian.

Nature cursed Robin Niceta with a face, body, and personality that ensured no man — probably not even a black man — would ever want to fuck her.

And many times, people who have been cosmically banished from the joyous loop of courting, flirting, copulating, and reproducing become wickedly and pathologically vengeful.

Until recently, the aggressively uncomely Niceta had been employed as a child-protective worker in Aurora, Colorado, a town whose police chief, as luck would have it, was a chubby, sour-faced diesel dyke with spiky grey hair named Vanessa Wilson. Niceta had been “personally involved” with Wilson, which is a very nice way of saying they were engaged in sodomitical relations that are clearly condemned by both the Old and New testaments.

Wilson was fired in April, and an arrest warrant was issued for Niceta in mid-May.

According to police, a blonde and desirable heterosexual Aurora Councilwoman named Danielle Jurinsky appeared on a radio show in January where she’d criticized Police Chief Wilson and called her “trash.” According to the arrest warrant for Niceta, Jurinsky’s comments made her feel “mortified, upset, and hurt.”

The day after Jurinsky’s radio appearance, an “anonymous tip” was phoned in to a voicemail line claiming that the caller, who claimed to be a worker at one of the four restaurants Jurinsky owned in the Denver area, had witnessed Jurinsky asking her son, “Do you want to see something funny?” and then performing sexual acts upon the child. After police concluded that the accusations were baseless, they traced the phone call to Niceta.

Jurinsky has now filed a $1 million class-action lawsuit against Niceta. An estimated 40 or so other women have joined the lawsuit. The lawsuit claims that Niceta’s MO was to invite parents — especially parents with vaginas — to her home, whereupon she would offer them alcohol and pressure them to engage in Sapphic acts with her. If they spurned her — and what woman who’s more attractive than Charles Durning in his twilight years wouldn’t spurn her? — she’d threaten to have the state take away their children.

According to attorney Elliot Singer, who prepared the lawsuit:

Once this member of the class declined what was clearly sexual advances, Niceta essentially turned on her and did everything in her power to make sure the child was permanently removed.

At a news conference, several people corroborated Jurinsky’s testimony by claiming that they’d had their children taken away from them after rejecting Niceta’s tacky and frankly repulsive sexual come-ons.

Perhaps this will mark the dawn of a #MeToo movement uniting people who’ve been victimized by vengeful sexual minorities.

Fast-Food Vibrancy Sprees Spread from America to Europe

Dr. Martin Luther King famously said that “riots are the voice of the unheard,” but if the recent trend of black violence at fast-food restaurants is any indication, riots are definitely not the voice of the unfed.

As far as I know, no one was murdered for serving cold French fries last week, so I suppose that’s an encouraging sign. In mid-August, however, a “Late Night Flash Mob” descended upon a 7-Eleven store in Los Angeles County and tore out its innards in a planned attack that was filmed by a surveillance camera. The hungry and thirsty scofflaws invaded the store after staging a “street takeover” in which drivers “blocked the intersection and then left their cars while watching their fellow hooligans spin out performing donuts and other vehicular stunts . . . in a city that suddenly seems full of barbarian raiding parties.”

On Saturday, August 22, yet another Chuck E. Cheese birthday party was marred when a giant throng of ex-Africans brawled endlessly at a franchise in North Charleston, South Carolina. Police arrested a 48-year-old woman named Lizeller Dixon and a 26-year-old male named Dashawn Grant and charged them with disturbing the peace.

Even more disturbing than the fact that white Americans will be forced into ordering takeout or delivery for the rest of their lives lest they perish amid such explosions of culinary violence is the fact that fast-food wilding has now spread to England, where on August 21 a “gang of 50 youths” piled into a McDonald’s in Nottingham’s city center and enacted their own Robin Hood scenario of robbing from Ray Kroc to stuff their ungrateful immigrant maws with carcinogenic snacks and treats. As is protocol, the group filmed themselves in the act.

Nottinghamshire Police issued a statement decrying the incident as “completely unacceptable.” This is strong language that will undoubtedly deter the roaming, feral youths from ever attempting such a stunt again.

Canadian “Anti-Racism” Expert Fired after Tweeting that “Jewish White Supremacists” Need “a Bullet to the Head”

In order to appease the indigenous “First Nations” residents of Canada who were too primitive and technologically clueless to deter incursions by English and French settlers, the Canadian government has made it a matter of public policy to encourage waves of non-white immigration to ensure that no one in Canada ever gets along with one another again.

Canada even has a “Diversity Minister” named Ahmed Hussen, because the frozen and spiteful nation apparently needs more brown men with oddly-shaped heads. Hussen announced on Monday that he had suspended an “Anti-Racism Strategy for Canadian Broadcasting” tour, for which the government had granted $134,000, because a senior consultant on the project, one Laith Marouf, was revealed to have posted unflattering tweets about Jews and the French.

Among these tweets:

You know all those loud mouthed [sic] bags of human feces, a.k.a. the Jewish White Supremacists; when we liberate Palestine and they have to go back to where they come from, they will return to being low voiced bitches of thier [sic] Christian/Secular White Supremacist Masters.

Colin Powell, the Jamaican house-slave of the Empire who extinguished the lives of millions of people with his lies, died a painful death unable to breath [sic]. If there was any good that came from this pandemic, it would be his death on the birthday of the prophet of Islam.

I have a motto: Life is too short for shoes with laces, or for entertaining Jewish White Supremacists with anything but a bullet to the head.

lol, I think Frogs have much less IQ than 77, and French is an ugly language.

This is all completely unacceptable. It is also conclusive proof that the true cause of racism is anti-racism, and the only way for us to establish a non-racist society is to encourage as much racism as possible.

Heavy Metal Cross-Dresser Gets Furious When Republicans Use His “We’re Not Gonna Take It” Song at Rallies

Republicans have a long history of pissing off liberal musicians by coopting their songs as part of their campaign messaging. Ronald Reagan famously turned Bruce Springsteen into a Democrat by approvingly citing the multimillionaire rock star’s working-class shtick.

Now, from out of the crypt comes 1980s relic Dee Snider of the band Twisted Sister to cyber-scream that he’s not gonna take GOP members using his song “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” Snider, who is of partially Ukrainian ancestry, recently approved of any Ukrainians who thought it’d be helpful to use his song to help repel Putin’s tanks and missiles. He leapt onto Twitter to bark at American Republicans:

ATTENTION QANON, MAGAT FASCISTS: Every time you sing “We’re Not Gonna Take It” remember it was written by a cross-dressing, libtard, tree hugging half-Jew who HATES everything you stand for. It was you and people like you that inspired every angry word of that song! SO FUCK OFF!

When reminded that Donald Trump had once used Snider’s anthem at a rally and that Snider had once referred to Trump as a friend, he replied:

100% true. And then Trump opened his big fat mouth and started spewing poison all over this great country. He lured the scum of the earth out of the shadows and from under rocks to join him in his fascist movement. That’s when I asked him to stop using it . . . and he did.

Snider is now baring his fangs at GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake of Arizona, who recently used “We’re Not Gonna Take It” at a rally:

[w]hile I abhor what this ignoramus @KariLake stands for and the deplorables (yup, Hillary Clinton had it right) she represents, I can NOT legally or morally stop her from using or singing my song. I wrote it for everyone . . . cherry picking who uses it is censorship.

The Twitter account for Lake’s campaign responded to Snider by quoting some lines from his song, to which Snider, who apparently can cram more hatred into one tweet than Donald Trump has ever publicly expressed in his life, replied:

HEY IDIOTS! READ THE 1ST LINE. “We’ve got the right to CHOOSE!” This is a PRO-CHOICE anthem you or [sic] co-opting. It was NEVER intended for you fascist morons! As the songwriter & singer I DENOUNCE EVERYTHING @KariLake STANDS FOR! Write your own damn song!

Apparently incensed by the notion that people such as Trump and Lake dehumanize others, Snider proceeded to liken their followers to worms who live under rocks, which is not dehumanizing at all:

Slowly but surely, real America will drive all these extremists and their followers back into the shadows and under the rocks from where they came. This time we will never forget they are there, always waiting for a chance to rear their ‘deplorable’ heads. But we’re not gonna take it.

In case you were unaware, this is the face of “real America.”

Italian Vintner Vows to Stop Selling Hitler-Themed Wines

Although I am admittedly retarded in economic matters, I will nonetheless offer my readers some sound investing advice: Snap up as many bottles of Hitler-themed wines by the Italian vendor Vini Lunardelli as you can, because the company is discontinuing them and they are bound to become collector’s items.

Founded in 1968, the company attained international infamy in 1995 by rolling out a “Historical Series” of wines featuring about 60 different labels honoring not only Hitler, but Mussolini, Che Guevara, Karl Marx, Joseph Stalin, Eva Braun, and Napoleon I of France. The company offered a limited selection of interchangeable wines; what differed was which label you wanted slapped on the wine bottle.

But now, Andrea Lunardelli, who despite his first name is the son rather than the daughter of company founder Alessandro Lunardelli, has announced that all the controversy generated by having a wine named “Mein Kampf” was more trouble than it was worth, despite the “Historical Series” comprising about half of the company’s total sales. Starting in early 2023, you will no longer be able to order your own bottle of Hermann Göring wine, so if I don’t beat you to the punchbowl, get ’em while the gettin’s good!

Africa and India Seek to Eliminate Open-Air Pooping; Kalamazoo Decriminalizes It

Officials in India — long acknowledged as the street-shitting capital of the world — have recently announced with understandable pride that eight years after launching an anti-open-air-pooping initiative, they have successfully ridded 100,000 villages of the figurative and literal plague of public defecation.

Officials in Africa — which some say has recently overtaken India as the planet’s undisputed heavyweight champion of dropping the Cosby Kids off at the pool in broad daylight — are bravely taking strides to clean up their act and encourage the world’s Original People to do their doo-das in private. The Nigerian government has “approved measures to end open defecation . . . by 2025.” Namibian police are planning to “issue stiff fines for public defecators” in a country where squatting down and sharing a special part of yourself on public property can bring a year-long prison sentence.

Meanwhile, over here in the World’s Only Superpower, the city of Kalamazoo, Michigan recently decriminalized the acts of public urination and defecation as well as littering. Despite objections by downtown business owners, who are forced to waste time, resources, and personal dignity by cleaning up the mess, the city commission unanimously voted that in order to achieve “equity” – yes, they used that increasingly infuriating word — to no longer make shitting on the streets a criminal act, seeing as how having a misdemeanor on one’s record may leave psychic scars for the noble downtrodden children of God who exercise their natural right to treat the world as their toilet.

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