Juicy Swole-Ass Gets Strangled by His Own Fake Noose
As an avid student of hate-crime hoaxes ever since Laird Wilcox’s groundbreaking 1994 study Crying Wolf: Hate Crime Hoaxes in America was released to zero national attention, it is with bated breath and jittery excitement that I announce last week’s criminal conviction of gay black Jewish actor Jussie Smollett — AKA “that Empire nigger faggot” — on five felony counts of disorderly conduct via filing false police reports. This brings a gloriously resounding conclusion to what is the most high-profile case of “fake noose” in American history. In a nation that has been driven positively psychotic with fake racial panics and fraudulent self-inflicted hate crimes, Smollett’s case has garnered far more attention than the still-wonderful sagas of Tawana Brawley, Crystal Mangum, and my personal favorite, Azalea Cooley, the cancer-stricken wheelchair-bound black lesbian who terrorized herself by burning crosses in her own Portland backyard.
Granted, the most hilarious encore performance was by Crystal Mangum, a black stripper who, after falsely accusing white members of Duke University’s lacrosse team in 2006 of finding her attractive enough to rape, attempted to kill one boyfriend in 2010 and then upped the ante by stabbing another boyfriend to death in 2013.
Poring over ways that Jussie Smollett could possibly top Mangum’s post-hate-hoax meltdown, I’ve decided that I wouldn’t be sad if he were to anally rape his once-rabid supporter Rob Reiner on camera while they both recite passages from the Torah. But after learning that Jussie once said that his own Jewish father would “kill you if you called him white,” I’ve concluded that I’d be even less sad if his father were to kill him for calling him white.
The entire “attack” of January 29, 2019 was so preposterous that it’s depressing anyone believed it, but “racial justice” is the modern American religion, and it’s a scientific fact that religious zealots will believe anything. Smollett would have us believe that he was innocently walking back from a Subway sandwich shop at 2 AM with a tuna hoagie during polar-vortex conditions when a pair of white males wearing MAGA hats called him “Empire faggot” and “Empire nigger” — Empire is apparently some dumb TV show on which the limp-wristed coon-doggie was a cast member — before roughing him up, telling him “This is MAGA country,” and wrapping a noose around his neck while pouring an unspecified liquid on him.
Imagine being shocked by that rather than thinking it’s hilarious.
A week earlier, Smollett says he’d received a letter depicting a lynched stick figure with a gun pointing at it — which, in retrospect, seems like overkill since the stick figure had already been lynched, but these racists are crazy –along with a death threat and a white powder that turned out to be Tylenol.
It’s still astounding and depressing but not at all surprising that so many high-profile American politicians rushed to judgment and swallowed the absurd narrative like a gullible hooker guzzling cum, avoiding all civic responsibility and declaring that the event had not only happened, it was further proof of innate WHITE EVIL. What’s even more mind-bending is that, even after Smollett was legally declared a hate-hoaxer, none of the following tweets from January 2019 have been deleted:
@JussieSmollett is one of the kindest, most gentle human beings I know. I’m praying for his quick recovery. . . . This was an attempted modern day lynching. No one should have to fear for their life because of their sexuality or color of their skin. We must confront this hate. — Kamala Harris
The racist and homophobic attack on Jussie Smollett is a horrific instance of the surging hostility toward minorities around the country. We must come together to eradicate all forms of bigotry and violence. — Bernie Sanders
What happened today to @JussieSmollett must never be tolerated in this country. We must stand up and demand that we no longer give this hate safe harbor; that homophobia and racism have no place on our streets or in our hearts. We are with you Jussie. — Joe Biden
My thoughts and prayers are with #JussieSmollett. Everyone deserves to live safely as their true authentic self in this city. As mayor, I will make sure that, regardless of the victim’s stature, hate crime incidents and complaints are fully investigated. — Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot
The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett was an attempted modern-day lynching. I’m glad he’s safe. . . . To those in Congress who don’t feel the urgency to pass our Anti-Lynching bill designating lynching as a federal hate crime—I urge you to pay attention. — Scary-looking ex-presidential candidate Cory Booker
“When one of the most famous black and gay men in America is not safe, the message is clearer than it has ever been.” The dangerous lies spewing from the right wing is [sic] killing & hurting our people. . . . Thinking of you @JussieSmollett, and my LGBTQ neighbors. — Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib
Imagine being such a blind ideological zombie that you jump to a conclusion with enough impetuous force to break both your legs, then being so devoid of honor that you can’t admit you were wrong. I’ve wasted decades of my life puzzling over how such people can live with themselves, and the only thing I’ve been able to conclude is that I’m happy I don’t have to live with them.
To make the hate hoax even funnier, enter the Osundairo brothers: Abimbola and Olabinjo, two dark-as-coal steroidal Nigerian homos whom Smollett enjoined to pose as MAGAtards and, as one of the unpronounceable brothers testified last week, “fake beat him up.” Smollett expressed to them that he was disappointed that the “hate mail” he received at work and almost certainly sent there himself hadn’t garnered the desired attention, so he paid them $3,500 to pretend to be white racists — now that would take some Stella Adler-level method acting — and rough him up just a little, but not enough to wreck his pretty li’l face.
Once detectives began growing suspicious of Smollett’s narrative and called in Abimbola and Olabinjo to grill them, they decided that $1,750 apiece and the call of black brotherhood weren’t worth a jail sentence, especially when the light-brown little poofter proved to be so dishonorable that after changing his story 400 times — he originally told police that the brothers couldn’t have been the attackers because they were “black as sin” — he settled on the ridiculous narrative that he was attacked — not by white Trumpers, but by the vengefully bitchy homosexual weightlifters due to unrequited affection.
Once the two mounds of chocolate muscle flipped and spilled the beans, they revealed that Smollett even took them for a “dry run” of the attack two days before it happened, pointing out local surveillance cameras, what epithets they were to use, and which way they were to run after pretending to racially assault him. They also revealed that Smollett threw a hissy-fit when he learned that the surveillance cameras were all pointing in the opposite direction and didn’t capture any of the phony hate crime.
As the trial was underway, a female spokesmulatto for Black Lives Matter issued a statement that she believed Jussie instead of the police because the police always lie in their mad psychosexual quest to crush black bodies. But she left out the part about how two males who were blacker than used motor oil also accused the hi-yella sodomite of lying.
During testimony, for no other apparent reason than to be weird, Smollett said that he and one of the buffed-out Nigerians had kissed one another and jerked off in front of one another at a gay Chicago bathhouse.
He could have just dropped the whole charade in March of 2019 when, under the direction of the undeniably simian State’s Attorney for Cook County Kim Foxx, dropped all charges in exchange for 16 meager hours of community service and a forfeiture of his $10,000 bond. He nevertheless apparently needed so desperately to be seen as a gay black victim of the sort of throbbing and feral white hatred which had completely evaporated from the public landscape, oh, sometime in the spring of 1971 that he kept digging a deeper and wider Hate Hole for himself.
He actually said that if he’d woven a tale where his attackers were Mexicans, Muslims, or blacks, “the doubters would have supported me much more. . . . And that says a lot about the place that we are in in our country right now.”
No, the fact that what are now the fucking President and Vice President believed you right out of the gate and still haven’t deleted their tweets about how your little dusky gay ass was victimized says everything about where this country is right now.
The Slow Death of Waukesha: 14-Year-Old Colored Boy Accused of Raping and Carjacking 87-Year-Old Lady
While the mainstream Lügenpresse squirms valiantly to banish the Smollett hoax from memory, it has already done a bang-up job of disappearing the Christmas-parade massacre in Waukesha, Wisconsin from the public square.
Yet, in this aw-shucks Midwestern burg that is only 3.5% black, the blacks are making things difficult again. Now comes word that only nine days after black-supremacist Darrell Brooks plowed his SUV through a crowd, killing six white people and injuring about five dozen others, a wee black saplin’ of only 14 years old carjacked an 87-year-old female — I’ll play the odds and assume that, since this is Waukesha, she’s white — at knifepoint after she’d dropped some books off at the private library and forced her to perform sexual acts on him while she sat in the passenger’s seat and he drove around town like a kang. Police have allegedly been largely mute on the whole incident because they say the city doesn’t need “more bad news,” although Waukesha Police Captain Dan Baumann issued the following statement:
On Tuesday, November 30th at 1:32pm Waukesha Police met with an 87-year-old female at the book drop at the Waukesha Public Library who stated she was “robbed and someone took her car. Once the suspect was back at the police department, we learned that this individual’s age was 14 years old. The victim was able to provide more details that went beyond the initial robbery complaint. Information was revealed that the 14-year-old male suspect had used a knife to steal the victim’s vehicle. The suspect forced the victim inside the vehicle and sexually assaulted the victim. . . . This incident is sad and incomprehensible, but we are bound by the constitutional protections of crime victims. We are also mindful of the statutory protections of juvenile offenders.
The unnamed suspect has been positively identified as the nephew of Milwaukee Mayoral candidate Cavalier Johnson. Many are urging silence about the whole sick story because they fear that if word got out that a black minor was being tried as an adult — although that’s perfectly legal in Wisconsin given certain serious criminal charges — “BLM outrage” would result.
One thing they never seem to fear is the possibility of white people getting angry.
Giant-Nostriled Albino Woman Shares the Pain of Not Really Being White
Since it is now considered thoroughly gauche to ask, “Well, then, how about I buy you a one-way boat ticket to Africa?”, white Americans must now silently endure the endless plaintive wails from blacks about how much it blows to live in this country.
Miriam Zinter is an extremely light-skinned black woman whose parents were both moderately light-skinned black people. She is not technically an albino, but I fear that the superstitious natives of countries such as Tanzania are not discerning enough to tell the difference between a mulatto and albino and may be inclined to dismember her and sell the pieces as magic talismans — which, all things considered, seems a tiny bit worse than having your white neighbors mistake you as white. Fortunately, I’m not a light-skinned black woman, so I will never have to undergo the endless agony of being Miriam Zinter.
In her Huffington Post whine-fest “I’m Black But Look White. Here Are The Horrible Things White People Feel Safe Telling Me,” Minter says that whites — assuming that, despite her platypus-sized nostrils, she’s white –have confided that “all those people do is kill each other,” that it “disgusts” them to see interracial couples, and that black people are “animals” and “thugs.”
Well, we’re all animals, honey, but we’re certainly not all thugs. She says that she tries to adhere to “[Martin Luther] King’s principals [sic] of nonviolence” but claims that she was tempted to slap her white neighbor of 30 years who, to be fair, overstated things by saying that “all those people do is kill each other.” In truth, they play dominos, battle one another in rhyme, dance the Mashed Potato, and drink cheap wine when they aren’t killing one another.
She asks, “How many of our Black [sic] brothers and sisters have had the police called on them simply for the act of living their lives?”
I can answer this question with mathematical certainty: not nearly as many black brothers and sisters as have had the police called on them simply for committing crimes.
Why You Should Never Tell a Teenager Not to Say “Nigga”
Although I believe that the “Karen” meme is an anti-white racist trope designed to deter law-abiding female citizens from dialing 911 while they’re being raped and/or murdered by black males for fear of being called racist, I can state unequivocally that any would-be white Karen out there should refrain from lecturing teenagers about why it’s wrong to use the word “nigga.”
Last April in Utah, a 34-year-old white woman named Melissa Wood was stabbed to death in an apartment complex parking lot. According to witnesses at a preliminary hearing, Wood had come out of her apartment to scold a 16-year-old male that she’d heard using “the N-word” in front of a group of colored friends, including children. Witnesses say that Wood was slurring her words and appeared to be drunk. In response to being disrespected in front of his friends, Izaak Joseph Vijil — who, according to the only picture of an “Izaak Vijil” I was able to find, appears to be a curly-haired mixed-race wigga — warned her that if she didn’t get out of his face, he was going to slap her. She didn’t get out of his face, and then he allegedly stabbed her six times, killing her.
Police say that shortly after the stabbing, Vijil posted “I need to get out of state ASAP” on Snapchat.
On Facebook, a self-identified friend of Wood’s named Kelsey Robertson wrote:
I was told by neighbors she heard a man using racial slurs to a family of color, she didn’t hesitate to go downstairs and confront him and tell him it wasn’t OK. Melissa died standing up for equality and everything she believed in. Melissa died doing the right thing, she lost her life to put an end to racism and inequality. Her death shouldn’t be in vain, or swept under the rug. She was doing what she believed in and what we all should do in a situation like that, this world is evil and let this be a reminder to hug your friends a little closer, tell them you love them as much as possible, don’t stew on fights and let them last too long. Melissa you were definitely one of a kind and you were bold and you were smart and outspoken and you didn’t deserve this.
Well, that’s one way of looking at it.
Male Sex Offender Tranny with Firm Jaw, Giant Chin, and Fist-Sized Adam’s Apple Accused of Raping Mentally Disabled Female Inmate
Despite the fact that has decidedly male features, the man born as Hobby Bingham decided a short while back that he is actually a woman named “Princess Zoee Marie Andromeda Love.” He was sentenced to six years in prison in Louisiana in 2003 after raping a 12-year-old girl but served only two years before being released and moving to Washington State.
He was arrested again in 2018 and sentenced to prison, and then decided that he was a woman, which, according to state law, entitled him to a stay at the Washington Corrections Center for Women, the state’s only female prison.
According to Scott Flemming, a former corrections officer who was fired for refusing to get vaccinated:
The only prerequisite is that the men must identify as female. They aren’t required to have had reassignment surgery, don’t need to be in the process of transitioning, nor do they have to be on a hormone regimen. The only requirement is that they must proclaim to identify as a woman.
Flemming claims that Princess Zoee Marie Andromeda Love celled up with a developmentally disabled female inmate and former rape victim named Heather Lee Ann Trent, who allegedly told other inmates that she often performed fellatio on the transgender rapist. But Fleming says that when he reported it to authorities, the report was mysteriously erased from the prison database, which he suspects is part of a “coverup” to avoid litigation from a trans-rights group that is planning to sue the Department of Corrections for violating a ban on revealing the identity of those housed in the women’s prison due to gender dysphoria.
After Trent was released from prison, Flemming said that Princess Love shacked up with another female inmate and concocted a scheme to birth a “billion dollar baby” based on a policy that women are able to sue the corrections system for mucho dinero if they wind up impregnated while incarcerated.
Sounds like a nice guy.
Apparently the man named “Hobby Bingham” at birth — which may have been the start of his problems — has been released from prison, has cut his long hair, and is claiming to be a man again.
Study: Hating Another Group is Good for Your Mental Health
Don’t believe what they tell you about how blindly hating an entire group of people who are different from you is a sign of a corroded, sick soul. Quite the contrary; it may be your ticket to happiness.
“Hate and meaning in life: How collective, but not personal, hate quells threat and spurs meaning in life” is the title of a new study co-authored by Abdo Elnakouri, a Ph.D. student at Canada’s University of Waterloo and published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
After studying 847 hate-filled participants, researchers concluded that those who nurse direct personal grudges against individuals don’t wind up nearly as happy as those who blindly and indiscriminately despise entire groups, possibly because the hated individuals may be more likely to know the hater’s address and burn down their house, whereas more generalized hatreds carry fewer direct threats.
According to Elnakouri:
First, conflict and hatred can meet people’s psychological needs. This might help explain why people are endlessly drawn to conflict or “struggle for the sake of struggle,” as Francis Fukuyama noted in The End of History. . . . I think that any casual observer of human nature recognizes that many prominent cultural figures or political movements gain a lot of steam when they have a clear, identifiable enemy that they are fighting against. I started reflecting more on why this might be, and it occurred to me that having an enemy, someone to hate, might energize people. Hatred might be a powerful motivating force, giving people a clear purpose against a worthwhile enemy — in other words, a life full of meaning.
You heard it here first: Hate and be happy!
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