The Worst Week Yet:
October 3-9, 2021

2,708 words

The Cost of N-Bombs: $137 Million

How much money would you accept to be called a nigger for nine months?

Even if I agreed to a $10,000 settlement, I’d feel as if I was stealing from the person who kept calling me a nigger. It doesn’t even matter if they kept telling me to go back to Africa and drew the occasional swastika in a shared bathroom.

I feel as if there are worse things one can be called than a nigger, and I also believe that a recent legal settlement proves it. In fact, the settlement proves that it’s the best possible thing one can be called.

Owen Díaz is a former forklift operator who worked at Tesla Inc. in Fremont, California from June 2015 to March 2016. Assuming that he worked exactly five months with weekends off, no holidays, and didn’t miss a day of work — a bold assumption, considering he’s black — that amounts to about 195 days of employment.

In these here United States, the average forklift operator makes $15.89 an hour. Since Elon Musk is absolutely sick with cash, let’s be generous and assume that a Tesla forklift operator makes $20 an hour. That’s $160 per eight-hour day. Multiply that by 195 days of work, and it comes out to $31,200.

That’s how much Díaz would have made if no one called him a nigger, told him to go back to Africa, or scribbled the occasional swastika near where he urinated and defecated.

Instead, he’s walking away with $137 million.

Tell me again how being called a nigger is not the best thing that can happen to a black person in America these days.

Black School Shooter Free on Bail Day After Shooting

Timothy George Simpkins is a skinny 18-year-old black male in Dallas, Texas who drives a 2018 silver Dodge Charger. He also lives with his grandma — very common among American blacks in Texas and everywhere else — in a house that’s rumored to be worth $400,000.

On Wednesday, after being brutalized in class by a 15-year-old black male named Zacchaeus Selby in an attack that was captured on video, Simpkins allegedly grabbed a gun from his backpack and opened fire. After being shot four times, Selby was so severely wounded that he was placed in a medically-induced coma. A 25-year-old white teacher was shot in the back, but is reported to be in stable condition. A pregnant teacher was injured after tripping and falling amidst the chaos.

The day after the shooting, Simpkins was released on $75,000 bail. His family members say he’s a “lovable” boy who was “bullied” because he has a “nice car.” They even posted a short video of the lovable boy smiling and holding a baby at home. The video featured smiling heart emojis and a caption that read, “He’s home that quick.”

The lovable bullying victim who drives a nice car is being charged with aggravated assault rather than attempted murder.

Kim Cole, his attorney, stressed that this was not your average school shooter: “This was not someone who was just out to go and shoot a school and had made up their mind, ‘You know, hey, I’m upset, and I’m just going to shoot anyone I see.’”

According to a 2019 study by the Secret Service, most school shooters were “badly bullied.” Then again, most of them weren’t rich black kids.

Deadly Chicago Gang Shootout Ruled “Mutual Combat,” No Charges

On Friday morning in the 1200 block of North Mason Avenue in Chicago, two disgruntled factions of the Four Corner Hustlers street gang — it’s a historic fact that black gang members in Chicago are rarely, if ever, gruntled — left 70 shell casings on the ground in a gun battle which left one member dead. Driving two cars that police say were stolen, members of the Body Snatchers faction drove up to a house occupied by members of the Jack Boys, and a good time was had by all. The Body Snatchers drove away, brazenly leaving their dead compatriot to rot under the crisp Illinois autumn sun.

If you thought Timothy Simpkins got off lightly for being charged with aggravated assault for his school shooting spree in Dallas, you might accidentally swallow your dentures to hear that none of the five Chicago combatants is being charged with a crime, despite the fact that three of them were injured and one wound up dead. They are all roaming free.

Kim Foxx is the State’s Attorney for Cook County, Illinois. She is a black woman who apparently never met a black criminal she didn’t want to free. Cristina Villareal, a spokeschick for Foxx’s office, says that prosecutors “determined that the evidence was insufficient to meet our burden of proof to approve felony charges.” According to a police report, “Mutual combatants was cited as the reason for the rejection.”

A week earlier, Cook County prosecutors used the same excuse — mutual combat — in declining to press charges against a teenager who’d stabbed another one to death during a fight.

Look on the positive side, though: It’s highly unlikely that any white people are calling black Chicago forklift drivers a nigger these days. The consequences are simply too dire.

Black Frat Boy Charged with Writing Anti-Black Frat Invitation

Am I the only one to notice that American blacks are being extremely mischievous and rambunctious these days?

In August at East Carolina University in North Carolina — a name which is disorienting enough that I hereby christen it the Ruth’s Chris Steak House of colleges — a post on the social-media site Yik Yak announced a party at the Theta Chi frat house: “Theta Chi rush party. PNB [potential new members] and girls only. No blacks.”

Although this caused outrage, anyone who’s familiar with statistics would tell you that blacks are likely to rape, while girls are much more likely to be raped. You get blacks and girls together in a frat house, and you’re basically asking for a Jerry Lewis telethon of rape. To me, the announcement seemed prudent.

After some investigatin’, the police realized that not only wasn’t the party real, the perpetrator was a black male from a rival frat house named James Daniel Edwards IV. The 19-year-old has been charged with cyberstalking.

The funniest thing about the whole story is that the Daily Beast said it was “unexpected” for the “culprit” of an anti-black hate crime to be black.

White People Labeled Racist for Caring About Blacks in Healthcare

If it hasn’t dawned on you that modern America is a place where even the most abjectly groveling white people who go to extreme lengths to denounce their whiteness and lick the feet of smelly homeless black bums in front of TV cameras will still be accused of white-supremacist racism, you are dumb to a degree that will endanger you someday soon.

The idea that the medical profession discriminates against black people is a fiction undermined by the simple fact that black women outlive white men in America, despite the fact that the roaring majority of black women are fat sows who live on grape soda, Cheetos, and unending bitterness.

Usha Lee McFarling is a white woman, although I’m not sure I want to claim her. She recently — I shit you not — wrote an article claiming that white medical professionals who earnestly and self-defeatingly seek to rectify the purported “massive health disparities exposed by the coronavirus pandemic and the racial reckoning that followed the murder of George Floyd” are instead “colonizing research” and sadistically cock-blocking minority health-disparity researchers from finding their own well-deserved place in the Sun.

McFarling quotes a black woman who wears an “Educated and Blaccinated” T-shirt and has some kind of skin disorder on her forehead about an alleged effort to “invisibilize [sic] the essential work of women of color.” She quotes an extremely goofy-looking black tranny who whines that

[i]t is troubling that a white man, who has had every privilege conferred on him, is writing a paper about the plight of Black [sic] academics. He is extracting from our pain for his career advancement.

And even when white people ask peeps o’ color to join them in researching why blacks seem to have health problems, they are accused of tokenism.

If I were a hateful person, I would wish for such people to be devoured by raging swarms of tsetse flies.

Black Woman Says She Had Her “Humanity Stolen” After Being Asked Why She’s Sitting in a Car

In a world where big black elephants shriek in terror at the sight of little white mice, I believe I have found the most fragile black person of the week. Dahabo Ahmed-Omer is a black female Muslim who is fortunate enough to live in Canada rather than, say, the Central African Republic.

In a story for the National Post, she shares the horrific tale — she actually called it a “nightmare” — of sitting curbside with her car running in a residential neighborhood and having two separate white people ask her why she was sitting there with her car running. She calls it:

A day I will remember forever. The day my Blackness [sic] was criminalized and shattered. The day I was arbitrarily questioned by two strangers who gave themselves the right to interrogate, attack and dehumanize my person. This world can be a difficult place for people like us, with racism and discrimination dwelling in every nook and cranny, where our human rights and civil liberties are robbed from us.

She even alleges that a white woman who asked her what she was doing sitting there with her car idling told her she was being “rude” and “overdramatic.”

And that was before she wrote a whole fucking article in a national newspaper about it. Something tells me that black women living in the slums of Liberia don’t have the luxury of being rude and overdramatic.

Black Serial Killers Keep Their Eyes on the Prize

One of America’s many persistent racial myths is that, okay, sure, even though blacks are wildly overrepresented when it comes to homicide, they are not like those sick, perverted serial killers, all of whom are white. But this is false — our black friends are overrepresented in all areas of crime, including serial killing.

Last week in the absolutely lovely and fragrant town of Newark, NJ, 25-year-old Khalil Wheeler-Weaver — sorry, I’m having trouble reconciling the “Khalil” part with both the “Wheeler” and the “Weaver” parts — was sentenced to 160 years for strangling three women to death and dumping them in North Jersey’s toxic wastelands. He’d lured his prey through dating sites before killing and disposing of them.

In Portland, black serial killer Sebastian Shaw, who was convicted of killing three people in 1991 and 1992 but later told police he’d murdered 10-12 people, passed quietly into the great black strip club in the sky after serving only 15 years of a double life sentence.

In Springfield, Massachusetts — which has the most aggressive drivers of any place I’ve ever been — Stewart Weldon pled guilty to killing three women as well as kidnapping, raping, and assaulting them. I’ll also assume that he was a bad driver.

The true-crime website Oxygen published a piece about black serial killer Mark Goudeau — “a married man, well-liked by his neighbors, a construction worker” — who attacked 33 people and killed nine in Phoenix from August 2005 to June 2006.

You were probably unaware the America’s most prolific serial killer is a black man named Samuel Little, who claimed to have left 93 corpses in his wake, of which the FBI confirmed at least 60. The sheriff’s department in Pascagoula, Mississippi claims to have recently identified the skeletal remains of Little’s victim Clara Birdlong, whose carcass was found in 1977.

Former South African policewoman Rosemary Ndlovu is on trial for allegedly murdering five relatives and her boyfriend with the intent of capitalizing on their insurance policies. The linked article describes her as “generous to colleagues.”

South Africa’s Independent Online recently published an article about Thozamile Taki that began with this alluring paragraph:

DURBAN: Sunday, September 9, 2007. The day started like any other for the residents of Shayamoya in Umzinto on the KwaZulu-Natal South Coast. That is, until a dog carried the decomposing head of a woman into the township.

Taki — no, not the Greek socialite, the South African serial killer — was convicted of murdering 13 women he’d lured with job offers before dumping their bodies in sugar cane plantations. At his sentencing, the judge noted:

When he lured these women, he was charming and kind, a real jackal in sheep’s clothing. But, in court, I watched as he smiled when State witnesses cried. He was callous and insensitive, and demonstrated no remorse for his wicked acts.

As is the case with monkeys, no one ever asks the jackals — nor the sheep, for that matter — about how they feel being compared to black serial killers.

Korean Official Accused of Consorting With “Anal Acupuncture Specialist”

Whereas North Korean politics are flat-out psychotic, political life in South Korea seems hilariously dirty. In Seoul, presidential candidate Yoon Seok-youl is having his name dragged through the, ahem, “mud” by accusations that he is the close personal friend of an “anal acupuncture specialist.” He vehemently denied the rumor when asked point-blank by competitor Yoo Seong-min if he’d met a man “known to perform acupuncture on a strange and particular area.” Despite the denial, his foe’s campaign issued a statement wondering what he was hiding by lying.

If only American politics were this funny these days.

Trump: Haitian Migrants “Probably Have AIDS”

Speaking of when American politics used to be funny, Donald Trump recently gave an interview to Sean Hannity where he briefly resurrected ye olde Spirit of 2016:

We have hundreds of thousands of people flowing in from Haiti. Haiti has a tremendous AIDS problem. AIDS is a step beyond. AIDS is a real bad problem. . . . So hundreds of thousands of people are coming into our country that if you look at the stats, if you look at the numbers, if you look at — just take a look at what’s happening in Haiti, a tremendous problem with AIDS. Many of those people will probably have AIDS and they’re coming into our country and we don’t do anything about it. We let everybody come in. Sean, it’s like a death wish. It’s like a death wish for our country.

I miss that guy. Not sure what happened to him.

HIV Is Not a Crime, But Neither Is a Gun

Neglecting to disclose your HIV+ status to a sex partner is currently illegal in 37 states, which sounds about, oh, 13 states too few.

But the same dolts who scoff at the Right-wing slogan that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” also chant “HIV is not a crime” with the fervor of emaciated zombies.

Here’s the truth: By itself, a gun will not kill anyone. By themselves, a person with AIDS won’t kill anyone, either. It’s only when they decide to have unprotected sex with others that they become potential murderers.

Insisting that “HIV is not a crime” is as dumb as saying, “No human is illegal.” Humans become criminals when they commit illegal acts. Why the hell does this need explaining?

Pennsylvania State Representative Malcolm Kenyatta has one of the most “Look at me, I’m black” names I’ve ever heard. He is joining other Democrats in an attempt to decriminalize the act of having sex with someone else while fully aware that you could kill them with some carelessly leaked bodily fluids:

HIV is not a crime but there are outdated laws that make it a crime in Pennsylvania. We cannot have people losing lives and livelihoods because of this.

What about the lives of people who perish because some slob couldn’t keep their Death Rod in their pants?

To justify decriminalization, activists say that antiviral HIV drugs, if used diligently, have become so effective that it is highly unlikely to transmit the virus through unprotected sex. But according to the CDC in 2019, those who are “virally suppressed or undetectable” account for only 56.8% of the 1.2 million or so Americans with HIV. That leaves 518,400 potential killers who’d be given carte blanche to commit murder-by-sex if these laws were repealed coast-to-coast.

And the same ones who insist on the repeal of these AIDS laws are the ones who want you to wear a COVID mask under threat of imprisonment.

People. They’re no damned good at making sense.

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