The Union Jackal
April 2025

2,044 words

Here comes the sun. Oh, wait…

One has to feel a grudging admiration for the dedication shown by the British government to making the lives of the people it was elected to serve as onerous as possible. Each day, the question on the nation’s lips is, “What are they going to spoil today?”

“To be born an Englishman”, said Sir Cecil Rhodes, “is to win first prize in God’s lottery.” Nowadays, Englishmen are entitled to ask, “What in God’s name is winning second prize like?” Rhodes, who gave his name to Rhodesia before it became Zimbabwe, was of course part of an empire on which the sun famously never set.

The British are particularly fond of the sun because they see so little of it. Those chilly, damp islands are rarely visited by Phoebus’ chariot and, when they are, Brits tend to make the most of it. Three consecutive days of weak sunshine counts as a heatwave, and off come shirts and socks when Sol does put in an appearance. At least the Starmer junta can’t take that away from the British. Oh, wait. This just in:

“Britain is set to approve funding of up to £50million for outdoor experiments to dim sunlight as part of efforts to combat runaway climate change.”

Ed Miliband, the simpleton Energy Secretary I wrote about here at Counter Currents, and living proof that there is a village somewhere in England which is missing its idiot, has announced that his department will implement plans to seed the atmosphere above the UK with reflective aerosols which will send the sun’s rays back whence they came. As with so many of today’s malevolent projects, so-called “solar geoengineering” is the brainchild of Bill Gates. He and his mad scientists – along with the Silicon Valley Mafia providing the money – have been working on a project to dim the sun for almost a decade, and now it seems Britain may be used to road-test this science-fiction grotesquerie. “We need to prove this stuff works” said this smug, ghoulish creature. I don’t know whether Gates is mad or bad, but he is certainly dangerous to know. This is not the first attempt by a rich, insane genius to blot out the sun, but the first was made by Montgomery Burns in The Simpsons. Which is a cartoon.

If all of this godplay sounds familiar, that’s because it harks back to the “chemtrails” theory that was doing the rounds a couple of years ago, in which it is claimed that the vapor trails produced by aircraft and cross-hatching the heavens were being used to alter the atmosphere.

Welcome to the United Kingdom, where the government will take the sun away in some Quixotic attempt to save the planet, and where yesterday’s conspiracy theory is today’s government policy.

Stats entertainment

While dimming the sun with the world’s most expensive rheostat met with the approval of the Left, another government announcement has left them indignant. The British government is finally set to follow Denmark’s lead and publish crime statistics broken down by ethnicity. In keeping with common practice, some figures were leaked, and here is a league table of arrest figures per 1,000 people:

• British  12
• Somalians  64.6
• Moroccans  70
• Algerians  72.7
• Iraqis  92.9
• Afghans  106.9
• Albanians  209.8

It’s interesting to note that the category of “British” is not sub-divided into black and white.

James O’Brien is alLeftist talk-radio host who regularly becomes tearful at any perceived slight to ethnic minorities, and he frowned over the dataset, proclaiming that he could see no other point in the publication of the figures “other than to fan hatred.” As we all know, the British far right (a mythical sub-set including anyone to the political right of Bernie Sanders) spend all their time seething with hatred, and so don’t need any fanning. But we must expect rioting, apparently, once the figures are properly made public.

The riot police will be ready for them, however. In fact, here is a video of them in training.

Eagle-eyed viewers will note the clearly fascist insignia on the lone rioter’s arm: the British flag. Those of you with sniper-level eyesight will also note that on the man’s back is a cross. Not the usual, diagonal construction we usually understand by the word, but an upright, Christian-style cross. So, we know who to look out for once the Molotov cocktails start flying. Watch out! Here come the British Christians!

The UK police do not warm to their members who speak freely about ethnicity and policing. Rick Prior was the head of the Metropolitan Police Federation until he gave an interview to GB News (to whom the league table noted was leaked). The police suspended him, then fired him. At one time, the police blew a whistle to summon colleagues to an incident. Now they fire whistle-blowers.

A very thin blue line

Much to the amazement of British police chiefs, coppers are leaving the force in droves. This trend began in Sweden a decade ago, as police officers there began to realize that their country was changing from a showroom for socialism to its current status as a gang-infested dystopia. My brother moved to Sweden from England 40 years ago, and told me then that any rape anywhere in the country would make the front pages of the newspapers. Sweden is now known as “the rape capital of Europe” and its murder rate is higher than that of El Salvador.

Fortunately, the British police have a plan to staunch the flow of coppers fleeing the ship: recruit more ethnic minority officers. To ensure this happens, West Yorkshire Police hit on the idea of blocking white applicants to the force, as The Daily Telegraph reports.

West Yorkshire Police were a bit touchy about the Telegraph article, and released a press statement assuring the press that they are not blancophobic. (They didn’t use that word, but then no one does. It needs to be put into wider circulation). Ethnic minority groups don’t have any advantage over whites, it claims, they can just apply earlier, and final applications won’t be assessed until the closing date, by which time white folk will have been invited to the party. Sure. And if my granny had balls she’d be my grandad. This is simply a reworking of something I first saw in England 20 years ago, appended to job descriptions: ”Applicants from ethnic minorities are particularly encouraged to apply for this post.” In translation, of course, this means “white men need not bother to waste their time and ours even turning up for an interview.”

Not all disillusioned British police officers who wish to quit the force are seeking a career change, however, some just want a change of climate, both literal and political. South Australia’s police force has recently run a recruitment ad seeking to tempt British bobbies down under (apparently, they will accept whites). This is particularly amusing to anyone who knows Australia’s history. At one time, Britain sent her criminals there. Now they are sending the police.

In other blancophobic news, football’s Premier League has been offering coaching roles which also exclude white men. Top clubs Liverpool and Manchester United (well, not so much the latter on their showing this season) actually launched the CIDS (Coaching Inclusion and Diversity Scheme) four years ago, but it has only just surfaced in the mainstream media. Now, football actually is a pure meritocracy. The reason there are so many black football players is that, at the highest level, it is a phenomenally athletic game, and that is something at which blacks excel, unless the competitors in any 100 meters final of recent times have been running in blackface without telling us. The same goes for coaching and management. The reason there are so many whites in these roles is that whites are better at it. So, to tweak the famous phrase, “go woke, never win anything ever again.”

Proxy war for the UK

The history of the conflict between India and Pakistan over the disputed region of Kashmir is… as boring and stupid as that of any other internecine war between brown people. Fortunately, no history lessons will be required by the indigenous British to learn about the mutual animosity between these two chaotic nations, as they have been thoughtful enough to start re-enacting it on the streets of London. While the Left squawk about Trump’s import tariffs, they overlook the fact that Britain is a world-leader in importing tribal conflicts from abroad.

After a Pakistani terror attack which killed 26 people in the Pahalgam region of Kashmir, one popular with tourists, the saber-rattling began, probably literally as well as metaphorically. Border skirmishes are nothing new there, and the two sworn enemies have been antagonizing one another since partition in 1947. This time, however, the British won’t need to watch news footage to see men with moustaches fighting in the streets. They will simply be able to look out of their windows.

If war actually does break out this time it will be perilous, as Pakistan has nuclear weapons. It will also present a problem for Keir Starmer and his government. Britain has obvious ties with India from the days of Empire, when some 20,000 civil servants ran India more efficiently than over half a million currently manage in the UK, but there will be intense pressure from the Muslim lobby to back Pakistan. Starmer already has to serve two masters in the shape of the Muslim Council of Britain and the Jewish Board of Deputies. He could well do without another pair of antagonists to appease.

Anyone doubting the pressure Pakistani Muslims are able to put on the UK government should consider the tale of two airports. For years, there have been calls for a third runway at Britain’s Heathrow Airport, and the government has consistently voted it down. This government, however, are very keen on a new airport. Not in Britain, you understand, but rather in Mirpur in Pakistan. A caucus of 20 MPs (Members of Parliament) have been campaigning for this airport, and eight of them opposed the Heathrow extension.

The apparently pressing need for this new airport, some 5,500 miles from Westminster, is because Pakistanis in the respective constituencies of those demanding it be built are upset that they currently have to take a long-haul flight to Islamabad followed by a three-hour car journey to Mirpur to visit family. Well, we wouldn’t want to put them out. Mirpur is also the original home of many Pakistani men involved in the rape gangs Labour steadfastly refuse to investigate, so it will make it easier for their fellow rapists to pop over to the UK for some sexual exploitation of minors. Never let it be said that the British government doesn’t care.

Camus the outsider

While Keir Starmer sat in the Oval Office and lied to J. D. Vance about Britain being proud of upholding its tradition of free speech, a French philosopher called Renaud Camus (no relation to the other famous Frenchman of the same name) was applying for permission to travel to Britain to address both a British political party and the prestigious Oxford Union. This was denied, as Camus it was who coined the phrase “the Great Replacement” which has become common currency on the right. He is also a critic of Islam, which is not a good look if you want to visit modern Britain.

Paddy on the march

As I have noted before, Ireland (The Republic of Ireland, or Éire) is no longer a part of the British Isles, and that is a victory the EU should not be allowed to claim. It is a reunion devoutly to be wished that Ireland rejoins the mainland, and that Britain stands up against the European Union and demands our sister be allowed back in the family. An anti-immigration protest in Dublin last weekend was a joy to behold. Of course, the few crusties there at the counter-protest would call it an “anti-immigrant” protest. It was nothing of the sort. As always, the ones doing the shouting about hatred and fascism were the ones contorted with hate and acting like fascists.

Well, as English pop combo Sleaford Mods so rightly sing in their fetching ditty, Bang Someone Out, this is how it’s gone on in the United Kingdom.

Here’s to the monarchy.

The Union Jackal