Game 101, Part 1

^[1]2,656 words

Part 1 of 2 (Part 2 here ^[2])

Ovid was the world’s first pickup artist to share his secrets about the art of love, which he did in flowery Latin verse ^[3]. This classic from 2 AD was one-of-a-kind for ages. Then, in 1970, Eric Weber’s groundbreaking book emerged: How to Pick Up Girls! This was the first example of modern seduction literature, for lack of better terminology. From these humble beginnings, an online community eventually formed from men who studied the social scene to improve their success in the dating game. Then came the deluge . . .

Why is seduction literature significant? Simply put, conventional dating advice is stuck in 1959. Quite obviously, the social landscape has changed tremendously since then. Although we might not like many of these changes, the genie is out of the bottle now, necessitating contemporary dating advice for men. We can either light a candle or curse the darkness. It’s a great disadvantage to pursue the game of romance using a badly-outdated rulebook, however. It’s another mistake to follow examples from pop culture; doing some of the things that happen in romcoms can get you pepper-sprayed. Also, sad to say, the chivalrous stuff that worked great in the thirteenth century is a bit dated by now. The best tactic involved slaying a dragon, and they’re hard to find these days.

A lot of negative criticism has been written about seduction literature and its methods. There are significant differences in quality among the various contributors to the field, as one might expect, but sometimes such criticism is unfounded, and some of that results from general prudery. Then there are certain feminist influencers who demonize male sexuality, indignant that men are trying to improve their lot. (Often those same snippy feminists demand unconditional sexual liberation for themselves, including freedom from consequences.) Some other naysayers disapprove ^[4] of those who rise above their station, resulting in a prejudice against those among the less popular who try to work on their social skills. Seduction literature is nevertheless similar in essence to women’s fare such as The Rules or Cosmopolitan. Nobody gets a case of the vapors whenever a “Ten Ways to Wrap Him Around Your Little Finger” article appears on the supermarket checkout stands. So it’s about time for Mrs. Grundy to stop clutching her pearls, get off the Victorian fainting couch, and quit huffing smelling salts.

Defining goals ^[5]

I’ve occasionally seen some interest expressed by men in improving their love lives at Counter-Currents. I’m not a pickup artist and have never called myself one, but since someone called me a womanizer on this very site, I figure I might as well run with it. (I’ll accept that as a qualifier, so to my interlocutor: Thanks, dude! You’re an inspiration!) I’ve also written about the topic before ^[6], adding to the deluge of seduction literature with a book longer than Moby Dick. This time I’ll share some bare essentials while keeping this very brief and to the point.

There are many different ways of arranging your social life. In this instance, I’ll narrow the scope of discussion by making some assumptions. Presumably the object is to find Miss Right rather than to go clubbing on every day of the week that ends in a “Y.” More specifically, I presume one’s aim is to obtain a quality relationship that will hopefully lead to a family. Thus, unlike most seduction literature, the aim of this essay is not to rapidly “close” with barflies at nightclubs in order to have illicit sex. For clarification, that is defined as “sex outside of marriage or not meant for the procreation of God conscious children,” according to the perennial classic Chant and Be Happy by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda. If that’s what you’re into, I’m not hating; the point is that the following is geared to a relationship style that is characterized by quality over quantity.

What are the qualities that define wife material? In practical terms, you’ll want someone who belongs to your ethnic group, or at least to closely-related kindred peoples. (After all, we’re nationalists around here.) Above-average intelligence is a big plus. So is good health. (Eugenics for the win!) Compatibility is also a huge factor. This includes having an agreeable personality, since you’ll be together for the long haul, and so obviously it’s important to get along. If you drive each other up the wall, it’s not going to work. Major mental problems should be considered a big red flag. (Again, I’m not hating; it’s just that whoever said “love conquers all” wasn’t familiar with borderline personality disorder.) Good character matters, too. Beauty is all well and good, of course, but the other factors really are more important for the duration. Having an ideology in common is likewise nice, but I’ve found that in practice it isn’t really such a deal-breaker. There are limits, of course; perhaps someone who wants to raise your kids as non-binary might be a little too far out for you.

Now that we have clarified our goals, there’s one single principle for success as a womanizer: Don’t make mistakes, ever. Easy, right? Maybe some further commentary will help.

Sinister Womanizer Secret 1: Search nearby

^[8]In the manosphere, it’s not unusual to find negativity concerning Western women. Unfortunately, in some cases the advice one finds there is to travel to Southeast Asia, Central America, or some other Third World backwater to look for a gold-digging green-card seeker appreciative sweetheart who has been raised in a pure society uncorrupted by Western decadence. That’s hardly helpful; it’s more like something that Coudenhove-Kalergi ^[9] would’ve recommended. Wife up someone who could pass for Ho Chi Minh’s great-granddaughter, or a Guatemalan who vaguely resembles a garden gnome, so I can have culturally confused children who don’t even look like me? No thanks!

What about white and delightsome but not entirely Western societies? Many Second World locations are generally acceptable, such as Russia or Greater Bohunkia. Going further afield, a Latina would fit the bill as long as she’s as white as the driven snow; they’re rare, but do exist. (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t quite make the cut, but perhaps Monsignor Nick Fuentes can take one for the team and tame the shrew.) Differences in language, culture, and religion might nevertheless present potential difficulties.

Another obvious problem is distance. I don’t care to cross state lines for nookie the procreation of Krishna-conscious children, much less travel to another continent. But apart from that, the grass might really not be greener elsewhere. Also, if this goes long-term, then either she or you will have to pull up stakes and move abroad, which is easier said than done. These considerations aren’t insurmountable, but it could be more trouble than it’s worth.

Sinister Womanizer Secret 2: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good

It’s time to address the negativity about Western women. I suspect that some of it is confirmation bias coming from pickup artists. If one spends a lot of time “closing” bar-hoppers at nightclubs for illicit sex — again, as defined by His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda — then one might draw certain hasty conclusions about what all women are like. Aside from that, other common complaints about Western women include appearance, immaturity, hybristophilia, and bad attitudes. Although I’d really prefer to focus on the positive, I can’t deny that there are some legitimate concerns. Still, outstanding women do exist. There’s no reason to get black-pilled about it; that’s a cop-out.

More importantly, there are times when we have to take certain things as we find them, not the way we wish they were. The fact is that society is in a fallen condition. Guys haven’t come through unscathed, either. The ugly truth is that most of us have done at least something that our ancestors who came of age prior to the 1960s would’ve considered disagreeable, if not degenerate. Has anyone blown off a solemn promise, smoked weed, looked at porn, “borrowed” money or property without returning it, had casual sex, or committed some even worse transgression? We’re not perfect, so we hardly can blame women for not being perfect, either. We just have to make the best of things, and hopefully raise the next generation with better standards.

Sinister Womanizer Secret 3: Find Miss Right in the right place

First of all, don’t get your hopes up about online dating. Although it’s worked for me before, I haven’t used it in years, and what I’ve heard lately isn’t encouraging. It may be worth a try, but it’s not likely to be worth your time and effort. For one thing, online dating is a sausage-fest; that’s only an advantage if you’re on GRINDR. Also, you’ll be competing against all the other male subscribers in your city, who outnumber women on dating apps by three or four to one. This means that all the ladies get showered with attention, exacerbating the usual tendencies toward pickiness.

We can see this in the bar graph above. Men’s ratings of women’s attractiveness fell into a nearly perfect bell curve, which is what one normally finds in biologically-determined characteristics such as intelligence or height. Women’s ratings of men’s attractiveness were another story entirely! 81% of men were rated below average — paging Vilfredo Pareto! — and apparently not a single man was rated “most attractive.” Is it any better on Tinder? According to one study ^[11], “male subjects (super)liked 61.9% of the female evaluated profiles, while female subjects (super)liked only 4.5% of the male evaluated profiles.” Thus, online dating should get you decent results if your looks would qualify you to be a movie star, but then you wouldn’t need my advice in the first place. Again, don’t expect miracles.

Since we’re excluding bars, foreign countries, and dating apps, where else? This leaves you with more or less anywhere else to look, except work (for obvious reasons). Really, it’s possible to make a connection at the grocery store while shopping for veggies.

There are nevertheless some venues where your prospects are particularly likely to be a cut above. Folk-dancing events are a good choice; these tend to have a friendly atmosphere. Adult education classes are worth a shot as well; go learn how to paint or something and see who you meet. Artistic and cultural events are likewise good places to look. You can go to the aerobics classes at the gym and probably be the only guy there, surrounded by health-conscious women. How dreadful, right?

Sinister Womanizer Secret 4: Appearance matters

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You’ll want to stand out — in a good way, of course. Whenever you’re in public, make sure that your hygiene is in top form. It should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: Got dirty nails? Even that is a deal-breaker for some. Yes, really! Also, don’t go out there smelling like a Leftist ^[13]. You’ll get yourself shot down if you do that. If you smoke, fix that problem.

On a related note, is your place grungy? One of my old friends picked up someone, but she bailed as soon as she saw his nasty apartment. I can’t blame her; the place was in terrible shape. If your home needs a Superfund abatement, then get off your duff and fix it, or hire a maid if needed. If your car is trashed, do something about it. Who wants to suck face in the back seat if there’s garbage everywhere?

Also, decent shoes and clothing would be a good investment. It doesn’t have to be costly; you should be able to get a good deal at a discount store. Women pay attention to how people dress. Practice color coordination like they do. Keep all this in mind whenever you go out in public, because you never know when opportunity might strike. If you happened to meet the lady of your dreams while shopping, would you want to be unwashed and wearing grungy clothes? Avoid weird fashion statements. For example, steampunk outfits are for steampunk conventions, not biker bars. Also, fuzzy hats are passé by now.

It helps a lot if you’re in good shape. Get some muscles. Work on the spare tire. I’ll even tell you how ^[16]. If you see a woman with curves in all the right places, you’re attracted on sight. Women check out guys in the same way; they’re just better at hiding it. All told, appearance is the first thing people notice about each other. Opinions form in a fraction of a second, before even the best conversational sparkle has a chance to develop. Attractive guys can get away with a lot where flirting is concerned — things that would get mere mortals pepper-sprayed. Some of your appearance is what you’re born with, of course, but don’t blow your chances by not attending to factors that are in your control.

Sinister Womanizer Secret 5: It’s on you to approach ^[17]

As a man, you’re socially expected to make the first move. Yes, really! Those who don’t believe me should consult The Rules, one of the most famous Chick Game books of all time. Chapter Two is titled: “Don’t talk to a man first (and don’t ask him to dance).” Sure, once in every blue moon a woman might make the first move. It’s also technically possible to strike it rich gambling in Las Vegas, but is it a good idea to count on that?

The principal risk involved in approaching, of course, is that it will be badly received. In some circumstances a social mistake can be quite severe, especially following the outbreak of #MeToo Madness. Still, women really do want male attention, no matter how much certain feminist pickled prunes complain about it. (If they didn’t want men noticing them, they’d wear burqas ^[18].) The thing is that they only want attention from guys they already like, but men can’t accommodate that because we don’t read minds. Really, women should be glad that they don’t have to approach, since it means they never have to get shot down. Nobody tells them “Your boobs are too small,” “Trying to get a piece of my wallet, huh?”, or “Go away, girl-creep!”

The fact is that if you expect to get anywhere, you’ll have to go out on a limb. Unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do to ensure a positive outcome, since the final decision is out of your hands. For a fuller explanation here, I’ll turn to my favorite pinko, Slavoj Žižek:

There is a somewhat analogous situation with regard to the heterosexual seduction procedure in our Politically Correct times: the two sets, the set of PC behaviour and the set of seduction, do not actually intersect anywhere; that is, there is no seduction which is not in a way an “incorrect” intrusion or harassment — at some point, one has to expose oneself and “make a pass.” So does this mean that every seduction is incorrect harassment through and through? No, and that is the catch: when you make a pass, you expose yourself to the Other (the potential partner), and she decides retroactively, by her reaction, whether what you have just done was harassment or a successful act of seduction — and there is no way to tell in advance what her reaction will be. This is why assertive women often despise “weak” men — because they fear to expose themselves, to take the necessary risk. And perhaps this is even more true in our PC times: are not PC prohibitions rules which, in one way or another, are to be violated in the seduction process? Is not the seducer’s art to accomplish this violation properly – so that afterwards, by its acceptance, its harassing aspect will be retroactively cancelled?

Comrade Slavoj can be a real hoot, at least when he’s not displaying his expertise about Dixie by telling us about ze beatings of ze bleck men ^[19] by ze Klu Klux Klen.