TDS-Afflicted Celebrities Run Their Mouths

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Anyone who can sing, dance, or act is simultaneously gifted with tremendous wisdom concerning geopolitics, economics, and political science. Well, that’s what they seem to think, anyway. Predictably, the moment the election didn’t go their way, lefty celebs have been howling like they’re undergoing an exorcism. Why so blue?

The following is a selection from these overpaid know-it-alls suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. Consider it non-exhaustive, since I’m excerpting a few direct quotes from each. There’s a lot more of this tedious TDS where it comes from in the original articles.

Orange Man Bad!

I’ll begin with the eminent mall rat magazine Teen Vogue, because their well-known gravitas is a perfect match for celebrity wit and wisdom. Their feature “Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, Ariana Grande, & More React to 2024’s U.S. Presidential Election Results” bestowed unto us the following.

First up, Cardi B made a video including the bon mot, “I hate y’all bad.” Whoever Cardi B is – I have no idea – apparently she’s not an English teacher. I must say, though – what a way to win hearts and minds!

Ariana Grande – I’ve heard of her but don’t know she’s famous for – posted a mopey social media post. She wrote “holding the hand of every person who is feeling the immeasurable heaviness of this outcome today” in little letters on a black background. I prescribe chocolate and some gingerbread cookies. If that doesn’t relieve the TDS symptoms, then a bubble bath and champagne are in order.

Billie Eilish – some singer, according to the article – said “Someone who hates women so so deeply is about to be the President.” The Donald can’t stand women? At the risk of being “that guy”, I have to ask, have you got a source for that? I got the feeling that he likes women very much.

Christina Applegate – some actress who I don’t remember seeing onscreen – moped on X:

Please unfollow me if you voted against female rights. Against disability rights. Yeah that. Unfollow me because what you did is unreal. Don’t want followers like this. So yeah. Done. Also after today I will be shutting down this fan account that I have had for so many years because this is sick.

Isn’t unfollowing her redundant since she’s closing her account in a fit of pique? She wrote that on November 6. At the time of writing (November 10) her account is still up. Come on, Christina, what’s keeping you? Buh-bye.

The Cut published the edifying feature “Celebrities Are Processing a Second Trump Presidency.” First up is Simone Biles – a black lady I never heard of – who made the following post on X:

Mr Biden,

I need you to stand up, straighten your back and make some things shake before your departure

xoxo the women in america

I wouldn’t recommend it. If Bidet stands up and shakes his booty, he’s likely to fall down, poop his pants again, or both.

Ziwe – one more black lady I never heard of – posted on Instagram.

The comedian posted an old sketch from her show burying women’s rights with the caption, “men’s rights are human rights (as we prophesied. . . . . .).” “I love men!” she says laughing, while shoveling dirt into her grave. “I say that because I’m afraid for my life!”

Not to worry, Ms. Ziwe; if someone kills you, then because of the black-on-black crime rate, it’s statistically likely that it would be by a fellow black. Come to think of it, the same thing could be said for anyone, since blacks – who are about an eighth of America’s population – happen to commit a smidge over half the murders.

Yvette Nicole Brown – yet another black lady I never heard of – wrote:

Yep. And many of us sounded the alarm. But they wanted their orange king.

Well, they’ve got him. America is done. But they got their orange king. Yay!

OK, I get what you’re saying – Orange Man Bad. Very well. Then it’s unfortunate the 2020 nominee was a cognitively impaired girl-sniffing crook who frequently wanders off and even sucks at reading from a teleprompter. They could’ve picked a quick-witted Democrat with charisma, and hopefully some sensibility too. It’s also unfortunate that Bidet chose a successor based on her high intersectionality score. Then when the media could no longer hide the truth about his advancing dementia, they let her assume his place rather than calling for a convention in which someone competent could’ve stepped up. Granted, Heels-Up Harris has remarkable oral skills. Then she ruined her potential by repeatedly cackling annoyingly and falling back on the weird catchphrase “what can be, unburdened by what has been” while gesticulating. Yvette, it didn’t have to be this way.

Buzzfeed, the unwashed armpit of the Internet, bestowed unto us “From Sabrina Carpenter To Ariana Grande, Here’s 11 Famous Women’s Response To The Election.” Given this sole focus on female opinions, I find it curious that wokesters suddenly know what a woman is.

Sabrina Carpenter – apparently a singer, because she’s pictured holding a microphone – said:

I hope we can be a moment of peace for you and a moment of safety. Sorry about our country. To the women in here: I love you so, so, so, so much. I really hope for the rest of this night you can enjoy yourselves, because you absolutely deserve it.

Ladies, I love you too. Fortunately you’ll get a lot more peace and safety when Trump puts a stop to anarcho-tyranny.

Ethel Cain – someone I never heard of before – remarked:

I must say, if you voted for Trump, I hope that peace never finds you. Instead, I hope clarity strikes you someday like a clap of lightning and you have to live the rest of your life with the knowledge and guilt of what you’ve done and who you are as a person.

She wrote more on Tumblr (of course), but I’ll leave it at that. Ethel, whoever you are, I’m a White Nationalist, and therefore I have a built-in immunity to guilt trips. Now quit acting like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.

Viola Davis – a black lady pictured smiling and standing in front of a colonnade – posted on Instagram:

Thank you for your bravery @kamalaharris. Thank you for loving America’s promise. I am and will forever be proud 💙💙💙

I’ll congratulate her for simply sending a classy message in support of her favorite candidate, rather than descending into the woebegone depths of TDS like so many others.

Barbra Streisand – finally a diva I recognize well – posted on X, “There are no words left.” YESSSS!!! Later on she said, “Kamala Harris sent us off with a hopeful message when she said, ‘Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.’ Thank you, Kamala.” Now hey, just wait a minute – what was this about there being no words left? Stick to that, why don’t you? Now put a cork in that big yap and start singing.

Vulture, a journal covering cinematic goings-on, posted “Celebs Are Seeing Red Over the 2024 Election.” The first item is a post on X announcing:

A defiant @springsteen starts with “a fighting prayer for my country”

Going to be a long walk home!

This musician, who used to be pretty good, should’ve just buttoned his lip following his tone-deaf Botox Concert. It would be even better yet if he joins a monastery and takes a lifelong vow of silence.

Stephen King – a novelist who jumped the shark when he became a preachy limousine liberal – made a social media post saying:

There’s a sign you can see in many shops that sell beautiful but fragile items: LOVELY TO LOOK AT, DELIGHTFUL TO HOLD, BUT ONCE YOU BREAK IT, THEN IT’S SOLD. You can say the same about democracy.

As a matter of fact, I agree. Democracy is a lot better when it involves more choices than just the Stupid Party versus the Evil Party. Worse, tricky oligarchs have been pulling strings for their preferred candidates, with the connivance of party bosses, since Woodrow Wilson’s coronation. Donald Trump is the first in a century to win the Presidency without their approval. (That’s what drove them so berserk in 2016. The Evil Party’s monumental loathing for Bush the Younger paled in comparison to TDS. Meanwhile, the Stupid Party’s bigwigs tried their best to sabotage their most popular candidate, as if they weren’t even trying to win.) Isn’t breaking the uniparty monopoly, at least for the moment, something to be happy about then? Oh yeah – and how many votes did Heels-Up Harris get at the convention? How very democratic!

The fading Hollywood star Jamie Lee Curtis made a longish Instagram post. Part of it was the following prediction:

It means a sure return to a more restrictive, some fear draconian time. Many fear their rights will be impeded and denied. Many, minority groups and young people will be afraid. Gay and trans people will be more afraid. We know that many women will now find it difficult to get the reproductive healthcare that they need and deserve.

That’s some impressive scarum-shouting. What really gets me, though, is the last sentence. It’s so annoying that they always have to talk in code about this thoroughly nasty business. If they think that aborting babies is the neatest thing since sliced bread, they should just say it! The Supreme Court is no longer legislating from the bench about it, although this is exactly opposite of what liberals imagine just happened. Since abortion is a matter of state law once again, they can go lobby their state legislators if they want something different.

Also, there’s something quite odd about TDS-sufferers lamenting that women’s rights will soon disappear, the 19th Amendment will be repealed, everyone’s going to be living in a dystopia like The Handmaid’s Tale, and all that jazz. Lots of these champions of women’s rights are fine with confused men being nominated Woman Of The Year. They don’t mind mediocre male cheaters entering women’s sports and ruining it by stealing records, trophies, and prizes. These items of glory legitimately belong to real female athletes who worked hard to condition themselves into peak performance. The wokesters are fine with weirdos butting into women’s spaces (even bathrooms, locker rooms, and prisons) without regard for obvious considerations of privacy and safety. Ah, progress!

Forbes, the upper-crusty journal heavy on its economics takes, gave us “Celebrities React To Trump Win: Roseanne Barr Says She’d Work For Trump, Billie Eilish Says He ‘Hates Women’.” First up comes a singer and actress who made her début as “Bathhouse Betty“:

Bette Midler on Wednesday posted a photo threatening to drink a bottle of Drano, a toxic household cleaning chemical, if Trump won and after the results were revealed shared a quote about the presidency being won by men who are “intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre” before deactivating her X account.

Holy guacamole! For a has-been celeb to call the Once and Future President “mediocre” is pretty rich. How about devious? This is someone who in September 2021 wanted to organize a sex strike in Texas. That didn’t work; lots of little Texans have been born since then, numbering approximately three quarters of a million from mid-2022 until now, as best as I can determine. Epic fail, Lysistrata! Apparently she also didn’t drink drain cleaner, since she’s still around to grace us with her presence.

Mark Hamill – one of the few who hardly needs introduction – opined, “They say we get the leaders we deserve. Either that has just been disproven, or this is not the America we all thought we were living in.” I prefer his long-awaited return performance as Luke Skywalker in that perfectly dreadful film The Force Awakens, in which he merely walks out of his hut and doesn’t say anything.

Lili Reinhart – some actress I never heard of – remarked on allegations against Trump, lamenting that “her heart ‘absolutely breaks’ for women who saw ‘millions of people vote for their abuser.'” I haven’t seen any credible evidence in favor, so I can’t say one way or another about it. What I will say is that I don’t remember any outpouring from lefty celebs about Bill Clinton’s dirty laundry. One instance was an especially distressing account from Juanita Broadrick, compounded by Cupcake coldly urging the victim to keep quiet. I also don’t recall any liberal outrage about Resident Bidet taking showers with his underage daughter.

John Cusack – an actor, though for the life of me I can’t recall any roles he played – popped off with some pungent TDS. “The fact that the country would choose to destroy itself by voting in a convicted felon rapist and Nazi is a sign of deep nihilism. To put it mildly.” Dude, I hate to break it to you, but Trump ain’t even Adlai Stevenson – to put it mildly.

I’m rather weary of this endless name-calling, so I figured I should put this one to rest. For some genuine Nazi opinions, I got a Ouija board and first conjured up the spirit of Adolf Hitler. The former German chancellor said that his greatest regret was trying too hard to be Mister Nice Guy. Therefore, he advises that Trump really needs to take off the gloves, especially since he knows very well his enemies are playing for keeps. Then Josef Goebbels scolded The Donald for being the worst Zionist suck-up in the Presidency since that rat bastard FDR. The old cynic also said that his immigration proposal was completely wrong-headed. Then Heinrich Himmler recommended that Trump learn from his last term, in which the Jews thanked him for his faithful service by undermining him constantly and letting him twist in the wind. Karl Wahl, a long-term NSDAP member who became the Gauleiter of Swabia, remarked rather indifferently, “Er isch besser wia Reagan, abr nur a Muggeseggele.”

Finally, some surprisingly positive opinions

I’m happy to credit the Forbes feature for being remarkably balanced. It also included pro-Trump takes, as well as a few middle-of-the-road moderates. The other four sources cited were biased toward TDS sentiments, with no effort to be objective that I could discern.

One positive comment was from the comedian Roseanne Barr, offering her willingness to help if called upon for service. I note that her views evolved after getting put through the wringer in 2018 following a social media post which made leftists go ape. Fortunately, she’s put the radicalinski poses of her earlier years behind her. That stuff didn’t quite win hearts and minds back in the day. She stopped doing that, so I have no quarrel with her.

Hulk Hogan stated, “This election season showed just how much we all care about where this country’s headed.” Wrestlers do have the reputation of being knuckleheads, but I have to say that he was pretty classy with that! Danica Patrick, the fastest lady on four wheels, offered some kind regards too. A number of others also weighed in with positive opinions, helpfully demonstrating that not every famous member of the entertainment industry is a leftist weenie.

Not all celebrities are like that – shocker, huh? It’s only the sanctimonious, out of touch, self-righteous, virtue-signaling world-improvers with tofu for brains who ruin the reputation of the sensible 10%.