Counter-Currents
A Bold New Level of Stupid
Why the Island Boys are the Future
Jim Goad
1,285 words / 9:45
I’ve spent my entire life thinking I’ve found the lowest common denominator, only to find a denominator even lower and more common than the previous denominator. But I think I’ve finally found it — THE lowest common denominator. Actually, two lowest common denominators, because as John Donne famously said, “No boy is an island.”
As my tough luck would have it, I stumbled across a little one-minute video from October 2021 of two imbeciles in a pool crooning with fake Jamaican accents in that awful whiny style of pussy-whipped “singing” that has disgraced the Urban Mating Song genre for at least a generation now. The song was called “Island Boy.” That video became an online sensation, which allowed the pair of poolside cretins to record a pro version of the tune that 24 million people have watched so far.
This Island Boy song is so bad but so catchy at the same time 😒 pic.twitter.com/1GgwajmdIs
— Matty Thompson (@m7hompson) November 4, 2021
Say hello to the Island Boys. They aren’t literally Island Boys. They hail from Coral Springs, Florida, a town that doesn’t even have a shoreline. Each of them is the height and weight of a string bean.
Audio version: To listen in a player, use the one below or click here. To download the mp3, right-click here and choose “save link/target as.”
They wear diamond-encrusted mouth guards and are smothered in tattoos from their skinny dumb necks all the way down to their stupid little toes. But the first things that leaps out at you upon seeing them are the ill-advised dreadlock/stalagmite monstrosities sprouting from their heads that look like either the coronavirus or miniature palm trees or giraffe horns (technically known as “ossicones”). My immediate reaction upon seeing them was, “Why? What is to be gained by these disconcerting hairstyles?” I don’t know if it’d be better or worse if that actually was their hair, but it’s not. They both have short, dark hair that they cover during most public appearances with elaborate head-hugging sock/wig contraptions.
The Island Boys are 22-year-old twin brothers named Alex and Franky Venegas. (It’s a Spanish surname.) Alex’s stage name is “Flyysoulja,” which he is thought to have appropriated from a legitimately black Southern rapper who goes by “Soulja Boy,” whereas Franky’s handle is “Kodiyakredd,” which, as a miracle of coincidence would have it, sounds a lot like “Kodak Black,” another legitimately black rapper who at one point allegedly tried to sign the Island Boys. Alex has the number “17” tattooed between his eyebrows, while Franky has some sort of winged creature tattooed between his eyebrows. Otherwise, I can’t tell them apart because they’re identically moronic.
You can buy Jim Goad’s ANSWER Me! here.
They are “influencers” — a term which, without exception, denotes someone who is influencing the world to be dumber. They have massive followings on some of the more egregiously vapid social-media sites such as TikTok.
The Island Boys claim Cuban ancestry, but since Cuba is such a nest of miscegenation, it’d take a DNA test to suss out exactly what they have lurking in the woodpile regarding racial ancestry. Despite their mannerisms, behavior, and sorely constrained cognitive ability, they are clearly not black. Their noses alone account for half of their body weight. Their skin tone varies from copper to baked yam, but this could be the result of tanning beds and cosmetic creams rather than natural pigmentation. As a white man, my better instincts compel me to resist claiming them as white.
The Island Boys say that their biological father died when they were preschoolers and that they started getting into trouble with the law by the time they reached double digits. They say their mom permanently booted them out of the house at age 18 due to their criminal incorrigibility, but I think a case could be made that they are simply too annoying even for a mother to love, and 18 years with those twins was 36 years too many for ol’ mamacita.
Maybe they have no mother or father. Maybe they aren’t human at all. Maybe amid the South Florida humidity, they spontaneously generated one day through some form of wigger mitosis.
The biological twins have a habit of recording themselves kissing each other — on the lips, on the mouth, on the neck, and sometimes using tongue — way more times than anyone in the world ever needed to think about, much less see. Then, for reasons which will forever be a mystery to me, they go on podcasts not only flat-out denying that they’ve ever kissed each other, they also flipped out Jack Murphy-style on an interviewer who asked them about it. The interviewer was bigger than the twins combined, yet they seemed utterly unaware he could easily kill either one of them with one punch.
Having lost most of their initial clout due to that 2021 song, all they seem to do these days besides making out on camera is pick fights with podcast hosts who could beat their scrawny asses to death without breaking a sweat.
How could so much stupidity fit in such tiny bodies? You can’t pretend to be this stupid. This is an organic strain of unforced stupidity purer than Himalayan salt. As Alex/Flyysoulja once said to podcaster Bryce Hall, “You’re the most dumbest person in the world.” The Island Boys are the two most dumbest peoples in the world.
It’s fun to laugh at people being vain and stupid while utterly blind to their vanity and stupidity, but it doesn’t take long before it gets so annoying you wouldn’t mind if they were suddenly forced to endure unimaginable levels of pain. I strain to think of any possible scenario in which my immediate compulsion isn’t to wish pain upon the Island Boys. And not an ordinary pain, either: a complicated, sophisticated, and rarefied pain that matches the magnitude of their stupidity.
If I said I wanted to hurt them, I believe that may cross some kind of legal line. I think it’s definitely a crime if I said I intended to hurt them, so I won’t say that. I sit momentarily stunned at my keyboard, desperately trying to figure out all the legal ways I can say that I wouldn’t be upset if they were to be hurt without actively encouraging someone to hurt them.
Let’s put it this way: If they decided to get lippy with the wrong cop on a city street and were shot to death and left to bleed out during a livestreamed podcast, would anyone riot?
Black culture has made America incalculably dumber, and even a cursory glance at TV ads and the music charts would establish that modern American pop culture is black culture. But what is the main difference between genetic blackness and the Island Boys’ brand of acquired blackness? Do natural-born blacks at least have the advantage — and excuse — of authenticity?
I see no evidence that the world is getting smarter. I also suspect that one day soon, artificial intelligence will do most of the heavy thinking for us and most human brains will atrophy into useless vestigial organs the size and texture of dried beet chips.
This is where we are: mass enstupidation on an industrial scale. Even worse, this is where we are going.
After witnessing an electrifying live performance in 1974, Rolling Stone critic Jon Landau famously wrote that he’d seen rock ’n’ roll’s future, and its name was Bruce Springsteen.
After exposing myself to the musical stylings and social-media antics of two wigger morons from South Florida, I have seen the future of humanity, and its name is the Island Boys.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine the Island Boys bungling your drive-thru fast-food order — forever.
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43 comments
An alternative title for this article: The Beet Chip Inside Their Brains
Island Boys are undoubtedly the tip of the iceberg. I’m sure there’s many an Island Boyesque “musical” group out there that we never dreamed existed.
I have been trying sedulously to promote anti-jigaboo and anti-kike racism, but it is profoundly discouraging to find that many Aryan males remain traumatized by such candid language. In my view, we should be promoting racial euthanasia.
That’s what they’re doing to whites. That would be fighting fire with fire, but no one on our side is really twisted enough to cross that line.
The jigs and kikels are definitely a problem. When they’re all you have for politicians in your fair city and fair state, you know you’re in trouble. When will our white brothers and sisters wake up?
If this is the future, God can strike me with lighting whenever he wants
Amazingly there are still people who excessively whinge that Elvis Presley was aping black people. I’ve never yelled at black saxophone players for appropriating the instrument of Adolphe Sax.
But early 20s kids are especially blind to this sort of dumbass apery. In the pre-George Floyd era I remember being tasked to show a young white woman the ropes at work. She told the group her friends had nicknamed her Gee Money and she oozed the sort of annoying empty pretension of wanting to be a white girl who was hep and black aspiring… Oh, you fly girl. In the post-Floyd era her hair is now so short a lesbian couldn’t style it and surely she must have something to say about patriarchy. And I’ve lost count of white twentysomethings over the years who came from the suburbs but attached themselves to reggae, dancehall, hip hop, etc… but also speaking like they’re black and flashing some dope hand signs. Oh, you’ve got some street in you homeboy, Straight Outta Whole Foods.
As this week the bridge collapse at the Port of Baltimore has been in the news, The Wire had a season set there in which a young white dealer learns he’s white. The Wire couldn’t be made today as it dared to exhibit Mencken’s adage the complicated problems have easy explanations… The more recent output from the producers subscribes to blaming the usual suspects: whites, police, structural racism.
As my hands do not type at my dumb speed of thought, the Mencken adage is that complicated problems do not have easy explanations. This is of course out of date and superceded by white is the root of all evil, or perhaps Behind every great fortune [western civilization] there is a crime.
Extreme tattooing might be the surest indication of stupidity and mental illness.
I will never understand why a lot of people, especially whites, get an excessive amount of tattoos. And I will never understand why they get tattoos on their face of all places. This ruins what little they have in looks. Until recently I had never heard of this country singer called Jelly Roll until I saw him on TV. He looks ridiculous with these tattoos on his face. You know it’s getting bad when country musicians are doing this.
I try not to be too judgmental about teens and the very young. I remember it as a difficult and confusing time, not knowing much of the world except what the media or school taught. Social fads, ideologies, tastes in the arts will be ephemeral for that sect… But you are stuck with a tattoo. If it is in a place that can’t easily be covered up, it might be a sign someone doesn’t anticipate the evolution of themselves or the world around then. Evolution and war has shown an advantage to being able to camouflage oneself. If not, then the best plan to get by via being dangerous and poisonous.
I can’t remember the comedian who remarked that face tattoos are a sign that you’ve pretty much given up on planning to get a job. Many tattoo ‘artists’ refuse to do them in a sort of Hippocratic oath to ‘first do no harm’. An ancient roman emperor even banned them. Somebody with so many face tats he looked like the Blue Man Group unsuccessfully ran for president of the Czech republic. He was a Professor… of Drama.
The weird part is that that Czech guy was actually very handsome and had sunshine blonde hair before he got the tatoos
We have now reached Peak Wigger. These two are meme fodder for sure!
If they still made those behind the music, where are they now episodes, it would be interesting to see where they wind up 10 years from now.
I hardly can imagine what will happen to these wayward brothers. Hopefully they’ll quit sucking face with each other, stop making wretched music videos, and get rid of those antennas on their head they’re using to contact Mars. I’m probably being too optimistic with all that.
Anyway, what gets me is how it’s as if society became some sort of contest about who can be the most abnormal. Looking and acting like a creature that just stepped out of a UFO is nothing to celebrate.
It’s like the Cuban or black or some kind of other version of Jedward.
Apparently there’s a world of very young people on TikTok creating this sort of crap. Some start ‘music’ careers this way.
Thinking of the wigger issue, I did watch most of a recent interview with Vanilla Ice and DjVlad.
It was the purest ultimate mega king wigger display/meeting of minds.
Ice is 56 and still talks like he was 18, although he might put on what’s expected of him for the camera I suppose. Still it was disturbing. DJVlad is a Jewish mega wigger who pushes a good amount of anti-white stuff and seems to be the biggest black content peddler on YT, including glorifying black crime.
It reinforced that grandmaster wiggerism is not just copying blacks, it has its own distinct accent, vocal intonation and gestures. It’s a bit like the soyface thing in that it’s a kind of submission or deference.
Attacking wiggerism directly might be a good activist strategy.
As for the pervasiveness of black culture, I don’t have any answers. It’s really a black/jewish culture, because blacks can’t really propel it into white minds alone. It’s always been via jews going way back. And now it’s part of kind of globalist corporate top down culture to inflict, a bit like the rainbow flag thing.
I’d still rather have them read to kids at libraries than “drag queens.” Drag Queen Stupid Hour. Someone would have to teach them to read first, though. Or they could freestyle lyrics to those “books without words” for toddlers.
They’ll put some other boy-ee’s eye out with those hair-do’s.
It looks like some of these musical acts, if you can even call them that, are having problems coming up with a decent gimmick.
I know. Are those hair-dos or hair-don’ts? Leave Coolio’s aesthetic alone.
The late Coolio of “Gangsta’s Paradise” fame sounded like Beethoven next to the Island Boys, sad as that may be.
You never see black boys imitating Pat Boone.
BTW, Gangster’s Paradise is an almost note-for-note ripoff of a Stevie Wonder song, Pasttime Paradise.
Based on the noses and behavior, I guess “jigger” is a more suitable term here.
For some reason jigger doesn’t have a wikipedia page, but wigger does.
Stevie or whomever wrote it or holds the publishing gets paid.
Americans like Teddy Roosevelt and Margaret Sanger worried that because the stupid and ugly seemed to breed so prodigiously, the US would eventually be overrun by meatheads and mud people. We’re on the verge of it. The influx of Mexicans, Central and South Americans probably turns us into more of a dysfunctional Brazil than Haiti or the Congo, but we’re almost there.
The two wigger boys are indeed grotesqueries. Is is some sort of self-abasement, submission ritual? The phenomenon that really floors me, though, is how fat black women shaking their asses in front of cameras has become so pervasive. How is this even a thing?? And who, in the name of all that is sane, actually wants to see that???
It makes you wonder how Lizzo became popular. Just like these two, I had never heard of Lizzo either until Jim Goad wrote an article about her.
These two wigger mega-morons would lose an IQ contest to an amoeba.
I see one of these Island Boy idiots has now come out as being gay, but “always a top, never a bottom,” haha. FFS.
“Flyy Soulja from The Island Boys has the internet talking after coming out as gay and telling his followers he considers himself a “top.” His decision to speak out about his sexuality comes just weeks after he was seen in a viral video on Twitter locking lips with his twin brother Kodiyak Redd. And while both brothers were quick to the two men being them in the video, Flyy Soulja is now coming out and saying he is, in fact, gay.
“I’m a top, I’m never a bottom,” he says during a Live with his fans. “You understand what I’m saying? I’m like that, for real. I like men, and that’s just — it is what it is…” He then proceeds to let it be known once more that he’s a top.” (msn.com)
Being a homo means that he’ll almost certainly not reproduce which in itself is a good thing.
ME – top
YOU – bottom
OONKO BOONKO!
Always Island Boy
1804 forever!
OK, so that one’s a gay top; got it. What’s the other one then – just someone who sucks face with his own brother? Paging Dr. Sigmund Freud, stat!
There’s nothing more pathetic than a wigger, well unless there’s two of them.
I’ve seen these guys on TikTok. They look and sound like crackheads.
Their speech patterns suggest that they’ve hit the rock one too many times.
idiocracy 2006 film… we been heading down this path for years. IQ’s tests have to be re-normed up (95 became the new 100), prior to the 21st century they needed to be re normed down over time (105 became the new 100). Bell Curve is a book well worth reading
I don’t know how some white nationalists, or any race-neutral sociobiological realists, could oppose eugenics, in at least some form. The constant increase in man’s technological mastery over nature, or, put another way, the scale of man’s assault on the biosphere, will require ever wiser and more intelligent people to avert ecological catastrophe. Instead of trying to produce these needed smarter populations, we use the greater wealth deriving from this mastery to … enable more idiots to be born and reach their own reproductive ages. This regression will not end well.
If you don’t take responsibility and strive for eugenics, you are acquiescing to dysgenic trends that we know exist, or, what is even worse, you are just praying that magic will make the problem go away.
Most dumbest is grammatically incorrect, so the person who used this phrase is the most dumbest himself
I wonder if the majority of the common clay might know that the word dumb actually means the inability to speak?
It means both.
Typically the cliché-but-applicable quip of “don’t quit your day job” would be appropriate. But that’s presumably not a fall-back option for these imbeciles.
All the social media idiots nowadays are doubtless trying to create “product differentiation” by being the bigger idiot or doing the stupidest things, yet this just raises the fool bar so you have to look even dumber to stand out. How would one out-do stupid face tattoos and Gumby hairdos? Not to mention acting like street negroes.
One can take solace with the thought that there is a huge probability idiots like these will end up in prison. When they do, they will be traded around for packs of Marlboros, giving rub-and-tugs to “real” thugs.
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