Rapper’s Embalmed Corpse Hovers Over Nightclub Revelers in Dignified Memorial Service
It only takes one look at the face of recently-slain Maryland rapper Goonew, whose mammy named him Markelle Morrow, to realize that if he hadn’t been squashed like a furry black bug under the wicked thumb of white supremacy since birth, he’d currently be pursuing postdoctoral research in particle physics.
I’m sure that everyone reading this has a favorite Goonew tune, but there are so many of his gritty urban mating songs that I absolutely adore, I find it impossible to pick only one. To whittle down such an impressive oeuvre to one “superior” song would amount to a hate crime toward all of his other ditties. I feel his musical and philosophical complexity reached its apex with “Life or Death,” but if you’re looking for a quintessential example of his lyrical deftness and stratospheric verbal IQ, he climbed the mountaintop with “What It Was”:
She gave me the drop on the plug
Uh them niggas they knew what it was
Them niggas ain’t try me they knew what it was
I stay in the field I got hit wit’ a slug . . .
Whippin’ the crack givin’ aunty a hug
Bad bitch she let me nut on her butt
This is why we fought the Civil War: to drag young black men out of the cotton field and into the recording studio, where they can rhapsodize about ejaculating on their aunt’s posterior.
Tragically, like so many millions if not billions of rappers, Goonew was flushed down the aspiring-to-expired pipeline in March when he was shot dead at the sweet and tender age of 24. A suspect has yet to be arrested, but if news reports on black murder victims are to be trusted, it was likely a white supremacist policeman who was jealous of Goonew’s fancy sneakers.
To show their respects, friends and family members arranged weeks later to prop up his embalmed, sneaker-wearing corpse onstage at a Washington, DC nightclub as revelers swayed and shimmied and howled and hollered at the already dim memory of a man who was dim and not very memorable.
When footage of the cadaverous convocation was posted online, several racists compared it to the film Weekend at Bernie’s and besmirched the entire event as “disrespectful,” as if people who were complicit, consciously or otherwise, of the rape, flogging, torture, and systemic belittlement of aspiring young black corpses for 400 years — and counting! — had any room to run they damn mouths about respect. I mean, they was killin’ black people and hanging they bodies in public for centuries, so when black people kill black people and hang they own damn bodies in public, who is they to complain?
A local TV station tracked down Goonew’s mother, a woman with an ass the size of an air conditioner, who sat petulantly crowbarred onto a sofa with two other pouty black women and explained to a reporter that this is what Markelle would have wanted: “That’s how he wanted to go out. . . . He didn’t want people to be sad and cryin’; he always wanted people to be happy and having fun. . . . For all the negatives, people probably don’t even know nothing about us,” she said, slyly slipping in a double negative right at the end of that sentence.
The Washington Post rushed to the defense of Goonew’s corpse with an essay explaining “Why propping rapper Goonew’s body onstage wasn’t ‘disrespectful’.” It said that the ghoulish practice of posing cadavers in “lifelike positions” is known as “extreme embalming” and that there’s a funeral home in Puerto Rico that specializes in placing dead old ladies on rocking chairs and dead young boxers in boxing rings. It also said that “President Abraham Lincoln embraced embalming” and that his pickled cadaver was schlepped via railroad 1,600 miles en route to his Illinois burial ground as morbidly curious Americans ogled and touched him.
The embalmed corpse — covered with a rubbery death mask — of St. John Neumann, who died all the way back in 1860 right as Abe Lincoln was gearing up to free the slaves has been on display encased in a glass altar at his shrine in Philadelphia since his canonization in 1977.
So such macabre displays are clearly not only a “black thang.” What makes it black are the lyrics about splooging on your aunt’s booty.
Study Finds “Strong Evidence” that California Smog Hates Chinks and Wetbacks
“Environmental racism” is a conspiracy theory that claims whites are so sinister . . . so preoccupied with preying upon non-whites (rather than fleeing their predations) . . . and so technologically adept that they are able to construct the economy so that air pollution is purposely diverted into non-white neighborhoods in what amounts to a Genocidal Dutch Oven.
“New Evidence Suggests California’s Environmental Policies Preferentially Protect Whites,” reads the headline of a press release from the UC San Diego News Center. It cites a study — apparently quite an expensive study, if it actually relied on the obsessive statewide gathering of data about particulate air pollution throughout the Golden State that it claims to have analyzed — published last week in Nature Sustainability titled “Disparate air pollution reductions during California’s COVID-19 economic shutdown.” Proving that it is indeed a scientific study instead of another bullshit slab of statistics sprinkled with woke propaganda, it cites as one of its references the landmark climatological study How to Be an Antiracist by Ibraham X. Kendi.
The study claims that “Hispanic and Asians are the two largest racial and ethnic minority groups in the state, making up about 39% and 16% of the population, respectively.” Apparently, whites in California are still not a “minority,” despite the fact that they are outnumbered by Hispanics, a fact that often gets lost due to the shifty, sneaky-snake practice of lumping whites and Hispanics together as “whites” when it serves the polemicist’s needs and then sifting out Hispanics as a “minority” when they want to portray them as victims of white-supremacist air pollution.
The study examines smog levels in the wake of the COVID-19 lockdowns and finds that levels remained somewhat stable in black and white neighborhoods but noticeably plummeted in Asian and Hispanic enclaves. It also suggests — but doesn’t seem to make any effort to prove — that any demonstrable disparities in pollution levels in areas inhabited by different races is due to “racism,” which the study very conveniently explains may not have anything at all to do with the “intent of the perpetrator(s)”: “In this Article, we use ‘racism’ in the modern descriptive sense that does not hinge on the intent of the perpetrator(s); that is, actions and policies that promote race-based inequities are racist, whether or not such an outcome is intended.”
The study’s researchers infer that since pollution levels went down in Asian and Hispanic areas during the lockdown, this is “strong, albeit indirect, evidence” that evil white supremacist planners herd the state’s Slopes and Spics into what are essentially open-air gas chambers when the economy is functional. They unironically refer to it as “unjust pollution exposure.”
If one were a mischievous rascal, one could use the exact same pollution stats to make a case that, unless forced to behave themselves via mandatory lockdowns, this study provides strong, albeit indirect, evidence that Asians and Hispanics are dirty pigs who are generating all the air pollution that is choking the planet and aggravating Greta Thunberg’s PMS.
When you have meaningless words such as “justice” and “racism,” you can take cold facts and statistics and make them say anything you want.
Take, for example, the term “environmental racism.” I could make a persuasive book-length case — someone send me a cash advance, and I’ll get on it right now — that Earth’s environment has been racist from the start without any human intervention. Whatever metaphysical forces set the planet a-spinnin’ created unequal and inequitable climates that favored brain over brawn in some regions and brawn over brain in others, which resulted in human groups being innately unequal in ways that the fanatical and blinkered justice-seekers will never be able to remedy, which at least provides them with job security.
Another Highly Scientific Study Finds that Extremely Mild Insults are What Cause Bisexual Colored Broads to Do Drugs and Die Young
Most of us were too busy working and paying taxes to realize that all our work and all those taxes were being used to help fund studies that attempt to prove that if we don’t bow down and honor Bisexual Females of Color and cater to their endless neurotic need for respect and validation, we are causing them health problems that we will probably be forced to pay additional taxes to help remedy.
Two studies — that’s right, we need two — attempt to make just such an argument. In what appears to be a case of shameless double-dipping, both studies were authored by the same five female researchers, and both relied on the same previously published survey of “ethnically and racially diverse bisexual women” in Chicago.
“Microaggressions and Health Outcomes among Racially and Ethnically Diverse Bisexual Women” was published in Journal of Bisexuality last year, and “How deep is the cut? The influence of daily microaggressions on bisexual women’s health” is set to be foisted upon the world next year on APA PsycNet.
Both papers draw their dubious data from an extremely limited sample of 99 “racially/ethnically diverse cisgender, bisexual women in Chicago” who were asked to make a daily diary over 28 days detailing how they were feeling physically and whether anyone had made any snide comments about their sexuality, their looks, or simply about gay people in general that day. Considering how viciously subjective all such reports would naturally tend to be, it’s hilarious to see how precise the researchers are with their data:
Participants reported an average of 8.1 microaggressions in the previous 28 days, and at least one microaggression was reported for more than 42% of days (n = 802). Microaggressions of any type were associated with increased same-day negative affect and somatic complaints. Latina bisexual women experienced worse health outcomes in comparison to Black bisexual women. . . . Microaggressions are common among bisexual women and are associated with increased negative affect and somatic complaints.
Noting that Latina women kvetched in their diaries more than black bisexual women did, researchers strongly suggested that further studies are required, along with — but of course — further funding.
I tried looking at this data — in fact, it felt within moments as if I was staring into some sort of overweight, bisexual Sun of Color that would blind me permanently if I stared too long — and my immediate conclusion was, “It seems as if bisexual women of color in Chicago are paranoid and don’t take care of themselves.”
Palm Springs Votes to Financially Reward Trannies for Their Delusions
Since wantonly tossing taxpayers’ money at racial and sexual minorities seems to be “the hot thing” these days, the tranny mayor of Palm Springs, California — an uncomely creature that calls itself Lisa Middleton — has, in tandem with an avidly pro-tranny City Council, pushed through a piece of legislation that would allocate $200,000 in no-strings-attached universal basic income payments to select male residents willing to hold out their palms and say, “Hey, I’m a chick — now gimme da money.”
In covering the story, NPR cites a UCLA study which claims that homosexuals and bisexuals have a higher poverty rate than “cisgender straight people,” but that trannies suffer a poverty rate twice as high as people who accept the genitals that natured doled out to them.
This is taken as solid evidence that trannies suffer poverty and unemployment due to hate and discrimination. No one seems to have pondered whether these statistical disparities resulted from the fact that trannies may be likelier not to show up for work on Monday because they spent Friday’s paycheck smoking meth at a bathhouse.
Oh, how far we’ve fallen from the days when Sonny Bono was Mayor of Palm Springs.
Chicago-Area Church Urges Patrons to “Fast from Whiteness” for Lent
Next Sunday will mark Easter, which is probably my favorite holiday because I’ve always associated it with the advent of warmer weather and the resurrection of plant life.
Many people observe the 40 days of Lent by abstaining from one of their favorite vices. According to a lawn sign spotted at the First United Church of Oak Park, Illinois, the majority-white congregation spent the Lenten season “Fasting from Whiteness,” which is an ingenious way of flipping the script when one considers that much of the planet’s population seems doomed to involuntary fasting when they aren’t around whiteness.
According to an online “Statement on First United Church of Oak Park’s Lenten Theme”:
In practice with the Lenten spiritual discipline of fasting, our intent was to lay aside our usual frames of reference and open ourselves to hearing the Gospel message through the voices of Black People, Indigenous People, and People of Color. Our worship services in Lent have been diverse and beautiful. We pray that God oils the hinges of our hearts’ doors that they might swing open gently to receive the good news of Christ’s resurrection, which we all await at the culmination of Lent.
The church also felt the need to announce to the world that during Lent, they would only use non-white music during worship services.
It’s quite a lot of whiteness for them to sacrifice, because of a staff of eight, the church only appears to have one Chinaman and a mulatto broad. It is assumed that the Chinaman will not be required to abstain from his Chinatude, nor will the mulatto woman be forbidden to sneak light-night nibbles from her black side.
I have no moral objections to this plan, provided that whites, Christian or otherwise, are permitted to abstain from non-whites for as long as it takes them to feel whole again.
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