Counter-Currents
1,404 words
I’ve been doxxed for three years. My full name, address, pictures of my wife and kids, pictures of me at the gym and gas station, my old social media posts, and my embarrassing blogs from my early 20s — all were published. Shortly after publication, antifa found out where I was working at the time and started sending in anonymous complaints to Human Resources. When that didn’t work, they started calling individual units and telling wagies that their Supervisor was racist. They even called my gym and told my grappling coach that I am a racist.
I’ll never forget the first time a bomb dropped at work. As a District Supervisor, all HR complaints submitted online got routed through my e-mail, and I would get notifications about them on my phone. These same notifications would go to the Director of Operations (DOO) and Franchise Owner (FO). We all got the same e-mail. When my phone vibrated, it was a Saturday morning and I was wearing a gi, about to walk out onto the mats and compete for the first time in four years, for the first time in my 30s, and the first time as a brown belt.
The complaint was sent by Anonymous Anonymous at 123 Nope St. It linked to the dox dump and said I was a dangerous white supremacist who shouldn’t be allowed to work around women and brown people. In what would become a microcosm of my life ever since, I died a little, gritted my teeth, and carried on. I won my bracket in three matches: two submissions and one clear decision with no points scored by my opponent. I then called my DOO to break the news.
My DOO was a bi-racial Jew, but also an older Trump voter who was somewhat reasonable. To give you an idea of him, he was the loudest about saying he would never get the jab early on during mandate hysteria, but then caved and quietly got vaccinated when the shit hit the fan. Here was a good but flawed man with a sense of humor as strong as his disdain for libtards, support for Israel, and inability to foster meaningful change.
His response to my dox is best described as love. It was as though I had been in a terrible accident, and while bleeding out and gasping my last breaths before him, he opted to stroke my brow and tell me everything was going to be okay. Tone doesn’t lie. After seven years with the company he had my back as much as he could, but ultimately it was out of his hands. Before seizing my own fate, it briefly lay with the FO.
If I had been unprofitable, my FO would have fired me immediately. As it stood, a strategic handling of the accusations coupled with my performance metrics bought me time. I kept sending my FO reports with a smile like nothing had happened, placing the burden on him to bring it up first. My DOO, in order to boost morale and also as a personal cope for being powerless, would “sieg heil” at me and speak fake German during our bi-weekly Supervisor meetings.
After four months of antifa harassment (it always comes in waves), the FO finally decided there was enough time between his vacations and overseas big-game hunting trips to confront me. He was an NPR liberal in every sense of the stereotype. He got off on cheap virtue-signaling, but ran his company like a ruthless capitalist: low wages, terrible benefits, no retirement, disincentives for upward mobility, and most importantly, zero tolerance for racism. He struggled with cognitive dissonance between his bank account and moral grandstanding.
You can buy Greg Johnson’s The Year America Died here.
His solution wasn’t to fire me, but rather to keep me in my position while making me an example to deter future wrongthink; a win/win from his standpoint. Upon threat of termination there was to be a signed, formal statement denouncing racism and sexism — the latter thrown in for good measure — followed by a rehabilitation tour where I would be trotted out in front of the staff to tell them I wasn’t racist anymore. “I made a mistake, but I know that now. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!” When we got off the phone, even though I wouldn’t leave for almost another year, I knew it was over.
I submitted a carefully-worded statement that neither apologized nor admitted guilt. Knowing the rehabilitation tour wouldn’t materialize until after several more of his holidays, I planned an exit. I had the audacity to ask for a 15% salary raise and was able to secure 6%, the implicit leverage being that the company had just settled a class action lawsuit for several hundred thousand dollars of back wages to underpaid entry positions as far back as 2010. I then took the money and threw everything I could into starting a small business while working less and less and letting my units slowly collapse into chaos. I made ample use of an unaudited company car and gas card.
Given human nature, I discovered that a majority of the harassing calls were now coming from inside the house. One of my unit managers, a perpetually seething, activist homosexual with an ax to grind against conservative white men was now sending in most of the “anonymous” HR complaints in an attempt to get his Supervisor (me) fired. I never confronted him, but towards the end I watched him writhe in misery and age ten years overnight as his unit was repeatedly ravaged with Covid and I did nothing to help during the shutdowns and staffing crisis. It was during this time that his boyfriend was also imprisoned for possession of child pornography.
I stuck around just long enough to fire him to his face right after Christmas, and with the support of my Jewish DOO. I got to look him in the eye. He knew. He cried, cried, cussed me out, and threw my jacket on the floor before storming off and peeling out in a Honda Civic while I smirked like a rare Pepe. Nearly the entire LGBT staff walked out in solidarity. In a moment of Jewish privilege, my DOO would later recall my legacy as “running off all the faggots,” though I prefer “the Great Replacement.” Indeed, I replaced him with an absolute moron on purpose and let all four of my units disintegrate until my FO got back from Africa and announced a company-wide off-duty conduct policy banning racism and sexism, and signaled he would finally be making my rehabilitation tour happen.
It was time to eject. To everyone’s shock, my wife included, I put in my notice, cashed out three weeks’ paid vacation, and transitioned to my own full-time business. During the first month after my departure, the region reconciled a $12,000 net loss that I had fudged on monthly statements leading up to the grand exit. I got all my bonus checks. My W-2 arrived on time. I got my DOO to send me a letter of recommendation before the loss was posted. He still calls me every few weeks to trash-talk the new Supervisor, the FO, and fish around to see if I might ever come back. The back-stabbing unit manager, when not at a prison visitation, is still somewhere seething, trying to pick up the pieces. The corporate office was wiped out in December by a tornado.
So where are we? Anyone who’s been doxxed, if they haven’t killed themselves, can attest that it is a lifelong journey; never one and done. Whenever I meet someone, whether it’s a client, a training partner, or a homeschool family, I think to myself, “Do they already know?” and “When is this going to be a problem?” As time passes, I grow more secure in who I am and barely notice the lingering doubt, although there is always a low-level, baseline discomfort.
The day they attacked my income, I thought my life had changed forever — but it hadn’t really, as it turns out. I was competing in grappling after a long hiatus due to prior losses, injury, and fear of the unknown. Back then, I had a child-like wish to freeze my moments of success and rest there forever. Spending a decade honing a skill only to lose it on stage is taxing, but the mats don’t lie. The alternative is a life of delusion, avoiding the high-stakes environment required to forge your potential.
* * *
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24 comments
That was interesting. I’m curious about the strength of their evidence. Was denial an option? I’m not in favor of lying in general, but to harass and attack someone in their place of work, assuming they are not retaliating for like treatment from you, is a form of “warfare.” Deceit and evasion become permissible in such a situation. Would you all agree?
I would like to see your early blog posts and the pictures.
I just wanted to say I really enjoy your comments. They contain such erudition and wit. I suspect the website pays you some sort of retainer to spice things up a bit.
No, not at all, just my typical babbling. Thanks for your enthusiasm though!
I agree 100% – though cowardly evasion would be deeply offensive to any true white man. But such men must never forget how they were conquered – by means of just such duplicity and subversion in the past. We must behave similarly, at least until we are back in control of our own collective destiny.
Personally, I just don’t know if I could snivel and whine to keep my job if doxxed. I could and would protest along the lines of saying that “the racial zeitgeist is antiwhite and antitraditionalist, and I’m sick of it, and everything I have ever said, exercising my right as a freeborn American to speak freely, is true” (which might make things worse, but would be accurate – and many other whites, along with a tiny number of nonwhites, would secretly agree with me). Do not be too proud to “play the victim” (white men dislike doing this, but we need to change – as we really are the victims!), even if that won’t appease our hardest-core enemies.
But signing some sort of racially self-slanderous “confession”, as though I were in the Soviet Union, would tear at my soul. (Of course, given that I’m already well-known as a strong, anti-PC Republican, a doxxing would probably come as little surprise.) I’m not sure I could do it. But I’m inclined to think that others should – as long as doing so doesn’t warp your own souls. Can a man be pathetic on the outside, while remaining internally awakened and strong? Perhaps one could denounce “racism”, while denying that fighting for racial justice for whites constitutes “racism”. I might do something like that – argue that there was never anything in fact morally objectionable about anything I ever said, even if it is strongly at odds with the sick zeitgeist.
I would also not go meekly; I would make it as tough and painful for my employers to fire me as possible. I don’t care if a-holes dislike me, either, so I would have no problem continuing to earn a paycheck even if greeted with hostile stares, or any forms of harassment.
I think it’s important for dissidents to:
refrain from vulgar expressions of bigotry (online as well as in life) no matter how understandably disgusted you might be with everything about our modernity, especially the diversity inundation;
always, at work and in life, treat people fairly and respectfully regardless of race (which I do anyway as an ethical, but also prudent, person);
as I have stated previously, cultivate simple pleasures, and always live beneath your means if possible; dissidents need a larger “rainy day” fund than ordinary folk;
try to relocate to a red state (not that these are close to what they should be, racially and ideologically), and to work in a “red” industry or occupation (which may not be possible for many – it’s not for me, now – but should inform one’s future choices);
develop networks of our own; hire and promote others like ourselves whenever possible; and find other ways to support each other.
Lord,
I have been lurking on C-C for a couple years now and you are one of my favorite commenters. God knows you have a ton of competition. I always come away from your comments a richer and bolder man.
Hope you’re here for the long haul.
That’s very kind to say. Thank you for the encouragement. Over the years I have extensively commented at several sites, including AR, and under as many pseudonyms. In many of those places, most ostensibly either conservative or libertarian, but even including a couple of nationalist sites (not AR), I’ve ended up permanently banned. ALL the Christian as well as mainstream “conservative” ones eventually got rid of me, even including paleoconservative Chronicles (though I have been able to comment there again since their site’s complete revamp a few years ago, but I rarely do, and neither do very many others).
Indeed, not meaning to toot my own horn, but I truly believe that I was personally responsible for killing the comments section of at least one leading “conservative” site, and possibly two, by means of posting endless detailed, anti-diversity, prowhite comments (not precomposed boilerplate, either, {though I have such for quick copy/paste jabs at sites I stumble upon}, but ones tailored to the essays under discussion) – comments which were so precisely composed and argued (and obviously correct, because we are obviously correct) that I started dividing up the readerships between those who were converted or emboldened by me, and those who passionately wanted to avoid associating anything “conservative” with the taint of “racism” (ie, racial truths). Watching the cucks desperately trying to steer the conversation back to some neoconservative or classical liberal-universalist position always brought great joy to me.
Interestingly, none of the libertarian sites ever banned me. That says something about their commitment to their principles. I pretty much exited them due to boredom. In the 1970s-80s, libertarian modes of thought were all the rage, at least among ‘edgy’, boundary-pushing rightists. We (college/grad school conservatives, Young Republicans) used to debate endlessly how far we could minimize The State (“we can easily privatize the interstate highways, but how exactly do we desocialize urban streets?” – epic bouts of praxeological analysis were devoted to minutiae like this).
But I was always simultaneously aware of the diversity threat (black criminality, and the then still not widely recognized post-1965 Third World immigration invasion, which I understood in light of the much-discussed Third World Population Bomb), and sought to inject what I took to calling “sociobiological realism” (E.O. Wilson’s Sociobiology, book and concept, were still fairly new and controversial when I was in school) into libertarian debate. Most libertarians vitriolically resisted any hint of “ethnic collectivism”, both on principled, individualist grounds, and because they idiotically thought that any aspect of the human condition, no matter how significant to the attainment of societal happiness, that could not be fitted into some “liberty/tyranny” or “freedom/coercion” or “State/private” dichotomy was simply irrelevant to political thinking. Over time, I came to see libertarianism as a simple distraction or even willful evasion from the real issue (though I remain committed to limited government, property rights, the free market economy, and much else I hope will be resurrected in the Ethnostate; first, however, we must obtain the Ethnostate, and thus our attentions should be directed to primary matters of racial survival and political warfare).
Due to the Cold War, defense and foreign policy also loomed much larger on the Right than they do today. Defense issues are mostly moot now. China is an undeniable long term geostrategic competitor, and Islamism obviously remains a genuine continuing threat, but it’s pretty clear that the real war is exactly what I always thought it was: the racial struggle within historically white nations (especially America; in the 80s, after the fall of Rhodesia, I used to say that South Africa [not forgetting then still-free, but small population and thus not particularly relevant Southwest Africa] was “our bellwether”, by which I meant that the then future (but predictable) fall of SA, a kind of georacial hybrid [at once both the last remaining major white colony in the Third World, and an authentic white nation {ie, a near-virgin territory upon which white colonists founded, settled and built a modern Western nation, a new part of Magna Europa}], would “bring the war home” – that the next locus of the accelerating world revolution against white civilization would be America itself.
Note: in the early 80s, it was not yet widely clear among American rightists that Europe itself would come under demographic attack (even though that attack had technically started many decades earlier). When I did some traveling in Europe in the summer (1982) before my senior year in college, I can still recall talking to the indigenes of various countries (France, Germany, Sweden) about immigration, with most of them being unconcerned (in this, like stupid white Americans, Canadians, etc), and some still referring to the nonwhites in their midst as “guest workers” or “manual laborers”, with the implication that they were not permanent. Certainly, I can recall barely any of the young (or older) people I and my pals interacted with being at all concerned about the long term social and political (or racial) effects of this not-so-embryonic (nor so small) nonwhite presence (though to be fair, it was only in large European cities that I recall seeing nonwhites – and not remotely on the scale of today). Everyone, including the somewhat rare conservatives I encountered, was more concerned with the Soviets, and whether there would be a hot war with them. For average people (except perhaps those in places already wildly overrun by aliens, places we never visited, like Marseilles), the possibility of future European Islamicization (which I cannot recall even hypothesizing; I was more worried about the general Third World population explosion washing up on European shores) would, I think, have seemed absurd.
Oh well, c’est le temps mal. So I suspect I will be commenting here at CC for a long time, in part because it’s my favorite site (prowhite is my identity, white preservationist intellectuality my obsession), but also because so many “respectable” “conservative” sites, the best places imo to make WP converts, are now closed to me.
I don’t mean sniveling and whining but simply “it wasn’t me!” That’s why I ask the strength of the evidence. Did they have him goose stepping around at Charlottesville on camera, or was it just some vague bull about Ip addresses? That’s what I would like to know more about.
I’m going to caution Shang about advice to “work in a “red” industry or occupation”. I think it best to do find something that is a mix of what you’re good at, what brings in decent money and what what you enjoy. If there are some leftists around, you may have to cope. Putting everyone white in a ‘red’ industry has pros/cons. Pro, it could be a union with strength in numbers for advocacy. Con, it may be vulnerable to shifts in technology or the economy… witness what Uber and Lyft did to cabbies, Redfin to real estate agents, etc. Suddenly an entire group is crippled. I think it best to have people in every sector though there will be areas of concentration.
The number of variables make it difficult to give good advice here. Despite my landing, I would hesitate to suggest that someone in a similar situation should eject. The point has been made to me privately that we need people in positions of influence or with capital and capable of funding, which is all true. Young people would be serviced by learning these trade-offs early so they can make a choice instead of going so far one direction and wanting or being forced to pivot. Change grows more difficult as you age and your overhead increases.
The choice was easy for me because 1) I was in a non-influential field with zero relevance to culture or politics, and 2) the writing was on the wall for a donor pipe dream. A 10 year goal would have been franchise ownership which is where the money is at, BUT the corporation you contract with has built-in clauses banning hate. They can pull your franchise for any reason, and especially if you try to become a far right Soros. It would require a lot more planning than I ever did, unfortunately.
So navigating handlers in a hostile system is one path, and if you pivot to business ownership then it’s just a different set of problems. Now I have to look at platforming, supply chains, networking and customers, which for me is more manageable. I am also partial to Shang’s vision of a like-minded community, “simple pleasures and living beneath your means,” but that’s just my personal taste. Ultimately we need a well-rounded movement.
Last thing I’ll add: For someone doxxed it’s difficult to think big picture if you are overwhelmed. There’s certainly a shock to it and at first you’re hyper-focused on survival. But laying down and dying is a choice. It doesn’t happen unless you let it. Dissidents need to accept that hardships will come and keep a mental fortitude about them. Play the long game and don’t give up. Life finds a way.
I was doxed in the early 2000s and had no back-up plan. I eventually found my way and ended up having a much better job and career in the end. Stay strong and offer no apologies for speaking truth to power.
Whenever I meet someone, whether it’s a client, a training partner, or a homeschool family, I think to myself, “Do they already know?” and “When is this going to be a problem?” As time passes, I grow more secure in who I am and barely notice the lingering doubt, although there is always a low-level, baseline discomfort.
Just get on with you life and don’t worry about it. Who’s really going to worry about the opinion of some leftist cowards and their circle-jerk friends ? They are in the minority and they know it, that’s why they act like spoiled, backstabbing 14 year old schoolgirls.
At some point, most competent white men will be racist. They may hate us and think they can’t possibly function with us, but once were gone quickly learn that they can’t function without us. Get woke, go broke.
A sad disturbing story and I’d like to see additional volumes. Given that this is not his real name, I wonder what people thing of the sabotage tactics? Just desserts? Passive aggressive revenge that may haunt your reputation in future endeavors? All in all this sort of doxing (done to some extent by both sides but one side more) just polarizes both sides even more for a generation… trying to get the Jews and Palestinians to get along. As Jared Taylor would point out, not every jew is an enemy the way the vociferous leftist ones are. Recognizing unexpected potential allies can spread good ideas.
There is no doubt a difference of intensity of Loxism between the Jewish Left and the non-Left Jewish community. But it doesn’t pay to think that puts any non-Left Jew on the White Side Of Things. The Jew is always conscious of race in ways most Whites are unlikely to ever be. In the situation the author describes, the Jew is protected by their status, so their support as, for all practical purposes, oligarchic in nature. The Jew has power and immunity from power in ways their White colleague does not. How they choose to exercise that power is a crap-shoot. Just as it would be to appeal to any power that is immune from retaliation or leverage. The Jew doing a White a good turn isn’t a sign of their good-will. It’s whimsy.
Why don’t prowhite, heterosexual men have such power? There are far more of us than there are Jews, queers, nonwhites or leftists (though obviously not than all those groups combined)? If prowhites would just organize ourselves, we could be the ones doing the doxxing. White normals have so much latent power, if they would but seize it.
(I don’t completely agree re your take on Jewry. I know several very prowhite, conservative Jews, who themselves feel vulnerable to charges of “racism” or similar crap – and have spoken of the need for “white men to stick together more”.)
‘Why don’t prowhite, heterosexual men have such power?’
This has to be a rhetorical question.
‘White normals have so much latent power, if they would but seize it.’
The key concept in that sentence is ‘latent power’.
In my view – and I know you disagree with me – the last 70 years of ‘pro-White’ politics has been wasted by being shackled to right-wing ideas while, oddly, being 100% committed to leftist-style street theater. I blame Rockwell for making ‘White Power’ politics a politics of the Spectacle and sending White politics down the road of acting out rather than playing our own game in our own time and with our own tools.
To turn the political-economic power of Whites into a force will entail leaving no option off the table, but concentrating on the most viable options – normal electoral politics and community activism – rather the seemingly endless ‘dreaming the iron dream’ that causes normal, decent people to just walk away from the whole ‘White thing’.
So, to turn the ‘latent’ power of normal decent White people into actual power, we need to do what we’re just now starting to do as a movement: Go respectable.
There’s a real beauty to this essay. Kudos to the author for sharing something so personal.
While I yearn for the day when the USA can be apportioned out based on racial percentages and ethnocentric states, I can’t display my feelings due to familial and work reasons. I’ve screwed up too many times to risk it again and too old to earn it again. I truly believe that each racial group prefers their own kind and should get to live together. Some might choose to repatriate elsewhere. More power to them. There are tiny nations around the world. We could have multiple states designated for single race and carve one out for those that choose to mix. I fear I won’t be around long enough to see it come to fruition. Multiracial society doesn’t work. Best to find another way to live.
“I got to look him in the eye. He knew. He cried, cried, cussed me out, and threw my jacket on the floor before storming off and peeling out in a Honda Civic while I smirked like a rare Pepe.” Absolute gold.
Everyone would do well to adopt the mindset of the author.
Loved that, too. Great article. I wish good fortune to Mr. Cleary – and all other men of the West! We will separate and retribalize ourselves eventually. Someday, white men will once again live free and sovereign, in racial community as is our human right.
“The corporate office was wiped out in December by a tornado.”
HA. Well, we know whose side Providence took in this grudge match.
You’re a real hero for whipping these fools, Branson. I sympathize with people forced to wear the hair shirt for speaking truth. But I feel decidedly worse for people forced to spend 40 hours a week with anti-white degenerates.
An essay on living independently from the system and why/how sensible white people should start their own businesses would be great.
“The honking will continue until freedom improves…”
https://newarkdailytimes.com/2022/02/02/mass-formation-psychosis-leftist-man-has-meltdown-over-canadian-freedom-convoy/
This is perhaps one of the most apropos first-person experience essays that I’ve read on the subject and I’m including the weekly ones that appear on AmRen. What makes it so interesting is that it’s something that could possibly happen to any one of us. Also, the author isn’t a megalomaniac Richard Spencer type but someone just who made a serious gaffe in his early life.
It’s instructive the lengths that AntiFa will go to dox someone and how effective this policy is. I was wondering what it would be like and also whether such doxxing would extend to one’s family and children? For example, if one’s children are getting ready to go to college; would AntiFa then call up the various colleges they applied to and let them know that their parent(s) were white supremacists? It appears that this would be a difficult thing to track but as they have nearly unlimited funds, it might be possible. It would also be very damaging and scary as it would dispossess one’s future generations. I don’t think that even Nazi Germany went to this extreme but I think the Left would if they could.
Also, parts of the story are quite funny:
“He cried, cried, cussed me out, and threw my jacket on the floor before storming off and peeling out in a Honda Civic “
This seems so funny yet has that ring of authenticity.
I’ve seen another aspect of this and it’s how damaging Black affirmative-action hiring is for many companies. It’s particularly deleterious when this hiring is for higher levels. Forget the losses (immediate termination) that occur when a white employee makes even an innocent attempt at humor that shades over to intersect that ever-morphing cloud of Black sensitivity. Forget that these upper-level Black executives receive huge salaries as they are bid on by a succession of companies desperately searching for that AA position-filler. Forget that they will never, ever, hire a more capable white person for any job. They simply make a huge number of major financial mistakes, which appear the be the providence of lower analytical skills and poor judgment.
Thanks again for your article!
The usual caveats: I wish C-C would allow us to edit our comments for typos. Or at least a spell-checker so we could go thru and see if we missed capitalizing Black anywhere in our writings…
The world’s first female pilot, crashed an F-35 fighter on her first try. Video in link. … AA at its finest.
https://avia-pro.net/news/pervaya-v-mire-zhenshchina-pilot-istrebitelya-f-35-razbila-samolyot-v-pervom-zhe-polyote
This was a very enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing your story.
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