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Print August 20, 2021 17 comments

Taliban Training

Nicholas R. Jeelvy

1,070 words

The fall of Kabul was a serious and somber moment, one of those historic moments that great authors write about. But like real historic events, it was not without its moments of levity. Here’s a video of the newly-victorious Taliban playing around with the gym equipment in Kabul’s presidential palace. It even elicited responses from greatly esteemed Twitter users such as Nassim Nicholas Taleb, who criticized them for not trying to deadlift. This might be a good moment to look at the nature of physical fitness and our relationship to it.

None of the young Taliban whom we’ve seen invade the presidential gym or dick around in bumper cars look like they can bench-press or deadlift their body weight. And yet these lads were fit enough to defeat the Afghan National Army and outlast the armies of globohomo for twenty years. As people commenting on Steve Sailer’s Unz article have said, deadlifting doesn’t matter when you’re an irregular light infantryman. The average Taliban can cover twenty miles of rough country on foot in a day, subsisting on little food, all while lugging around arms and equipment. Are they fitter or not than a gym bro who benchpresses his body weight but cannot hike up a moderately steep hill?

Personally, I am something of a gym bro and delight in that whole life. The rushes of testosterone and endorphins which one gets from lifting are sometimes exactly what I need after a long day. And yet there’s a different sort of quiet pride in one’s own fitness which comes from trekking uphill over rough country, all the better if there are no other people around. This carries risks, of course. Tall grass is a haven for snakes, ticks, and other nasties. Woods contain dangerous animals. I myself ran into a wild boar on one of my off-track hikes. Having no weapons with which to fight it, I am not ashamed to say that a bout of very vigorous discretionary valor saved me from injury. Some months later, a fellow hiker ran into and photographed a mama bear with cubs on that same trail. Less dramatic but equally dangerous is the possibility of twisting and breaking your ankle on a jutting root or a hidden hole in the ground. The danger adds to the experience. Wander off the beaten track and you understand that nature isn’t just beautiful, but unwelcoming to city slickers.

I suppose that’s why the Taliban, the Viet Cong, and many other guerrillas made the woods and hills their secret bases from which they struck at their vastly superior enemies. If you don’t know the land, it’s just as deadly as the enemy army. Our civilization is a decadent, urban one. The woods and hills are a foreign country to us. Lacking challenge and lacking difficulty in our lives, we’ve invented gyms and gym equipment. Deadlifting is a simulation of lifting heavy stones to waist level. Precious few Westerners have to lift heavy stones as a matter of course. Just as the characters of Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World had surrogate pregnancies and surrogate violent emotional experiences, so do we have surrogate back-breaking labor in the form of gym workouts — at least for the time being.

Soon we are likely to see the rollout of vaccine passports all around the world. They’ve been in use in my country of Macedonia for four days now. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen enough vaccine horror stories to know that I’m not putting that poison into my body, no matter the cost. That being said, this means that I’ll probably not be seeing the inside of a gym for as long as the vaccine passport mandates are in force. I can always buy a bunch of gym equipment and open an ersatz one in my basement, but it’s expensive and a hassle. I am rather planning on taking to the hills, mountains, forests, and lakes for my fitness.

Even at a leisurely pace, hiking up a hill burns more calories than weight training. Swimming famously develops every muscle group while also providing a cardio workout. Part of the reason why I’m never really out of shape, even though I may occasionally get fat, is that I spent seven years of my life playing water polo. This has given me core strength and endurance that takes very little effort to maintain and doesn’t ever really go away. Many Dissident Rightists are gun enthusiasts. Why not use those guns for hunting? Remember to ditch the SUV and go on foot; you’ll also learn valuable bushcraft and survival skills.

Also important is the spiritual aspect of going into the woods. We whites are intimately connected with the forest, where we can find respite from the hustle and bustle of city life and where the old spirits live. A wood is sometimes just as noisy as the city, with the sounds of the bugs and the birds and the occasional animal, but these noises, curiously, do not grate on the senses. Encounters with wildlife can also be recuperative. Just remember that the woods aren’t always a welcoming place. Little Red Riding Hood found that out the hard way, as did I when I had my encounter with the wild boar. Go in prepared.

Preparedness also applies to other equipment. Resist the temptation to go in wearing shorts — your legs will be a smorgasbord for ticks and other bugs. Proper shoes are also key. Unless it’s punishingly hot, you should be wearing hiking boots. Some people like to bring along a walking stick. Personally, I find that if I need a stick, the woods will provide. Know the water sources where you’re going, and if there are none, you’ll have to bring water yourself. Do not mess around with water; you’ll need a lot of it.

I assume most people reading this will likewise refuse the vaccine. Part of the price of refusing the poison will be the privilege of going to the gym to work out. I’ll instead seek out my physical fitness in the woods. Forget the gym rat life. Sign up for the Taliban fitness plan today! Take to the hills, come back with legs like Doric pillars, learn all the flora and fauna of the woods, take a dip in a mountain lake, purge your lungs of big city gunk, and one day, maybe even overthrow the evil globohomo regime.

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17 comments

  1. Captain John Charity Spring MA says:
    August 20, 2021 at 4:38 am

    In the paras training unit P Coy the average height lads with a wiry muscle mass and slim frame always outlasted everyone else. This is consistent with the selection for SBS and SAS. Big men need feeding they get injured easy. Taliban are some kind of a light infantry elite. Although I’ve noticed that several of the beardy gunmen have very expensive clothing samples. Posh lads from Pakistan? Yes apparently the Taliban is a selective force drawn from madrasa seminaries 15,000 applicants only 400 matriculate each year to what they call a PhD and can be considered Taliban. Both brains and stamina. Astarte Adeptus.

    1. jb says:
      August 20, 2021 at 2:27 pm

      Expensive clothing don’t cost nuffin when they’re stolen from the homes of their dead enemies.

      1. Captain John Charity Spring MA says:
        August 22, 2021 at 12:13 am

        Could be trophies, aye. Could be rich kids though.

  2. Connor McDowell says:
    August 20, 2021 at 5:45 am

    Do you even goat-herd, bro?

  3. shane says:
    August 20, 2021 at 11:54 am

    After a hard day’s death to Infidel and after winning a war against the biggest gayest empire in history the T boy’s relax and enjoy the amusement rides. Enjoy the rides T Boy’s 👍

  4. Reza says:
    August 20, 2021 at 5:48 pm

    ” The average Taliban can cover twenty miles of rough country on foot in a day, subsisting on little food, all while lugging around arms and equipment. ”

    Seems like nothing has changed since the time of the Legions! Besides physical combat-fitness (which has nothing to do with muscles) the most important factor in a warrior is Will. However, those Taliban folks will suffer sarcopenia in their later decades (if they get there).

  5. Irishman says:
    August 20, 2021 at 6:09 pm

    The Taliban are an energy efficient, super ideological and comfortable in conditions us westerners would find harsh. It’s a sobering thought to contemplate living such a lifestyle for 20 yrs approximately.
    Did the international globohomo empire really lose?
    1. The mission was a useful way to dissipate patriotic American energy and thirst for justice for 9-11.

    2. A propaganda initiative re nation building, democracy and so on. Failed in the end spectacularly but the news networks have been blaring that message into normie heads continuously for years.

    3. Secure large funds, unlimited really, for military spending and weapons testing in the sport war. Globohomo wasn’t overpowered as such by the Taliban but withdrew from the conflict albeit bungled botched job in the end.
    4. Inevitable large outflow of refugees from the non-Taliban supporting population and especially those who worked with the occupiers. No prises for guessing where they all want to go. European demographic displacement/replacement pressure will go up. Those CNN footage of desperate people grabbing onto airplane tyres – there will be lots of successful asylum applications.
    5. The campaign was so costly along with the Iraq invasion and along all the other financial shenanigans carried on by Wall Street that US dollar reserve currency status will likely go soon enough. The globalists will have a weakened American subsumed under a global economic order.
    6. A 20 year campaign in a country in a geopolitical central area of Asia demonstrates a willingness to use military force which serves notice to China and Russia.

  6. 3g4me says:
    August 20, 2021 at 7:23 pm

    Slightly off topic, but not certain where else to put this:  For those readers here who are interested, Biden Admin has just banned importation of all Russian guns and ammo effective 7 September. Prices and demand will rise rapidly.  If you need any, go buy NOW.

    https://www.ammoland.com/2021/08/breaking-biden-administration-bans-importation-of-russian-guns-and-ammo/

  7. Devanthar says:
    August 21, 2021 at 8:46 am

    I don’t care if they fought against “ZOG”, islamic wogs, especially those who granted shelter to Bin Laden, are not our allies or an inspiriation and they never will be. Fuck right off with all of that shit.

    1. Lord Shang says:
      August 22, 2021 at 5:50 pm

      I don’t think Jeelvy was praising them ethnoculturally. However, I totally agree with any policy which seeks to maximize friction and polarization between Europeans and Muslims. Islam is simultaneously a universalist ideology, and a weapon of Arab ethnonationalism. A double-edged sword to be wielded using whichever side most harms the white man and his civilization in any particular context. The Christian paleoconservative Serb Srdja Trifkovic has long advocated the proper approach to the MQ (Muslim Question): total separation and ethnocivilizational disengagement.

      Any time I hear a self-styled “white nationalist” ‘making nice’ with Muslims (say, by decrying IDF abuse of the precious Palestinians), I know I’m dealing with someone more antisemitic than prowhite. I’m fairly JQ-aware, but I will never change my mind that the Muslims are a greater ultimate threat than the Jews. The latter can be neutralized via a simple reassertion of white pride across the West; the former, however, are more than a billion strong; have a mighty and deep racio-religious ideology undergirding their ethnopsychology and group behavior; have little fear of death (at least the more extreme ones); and are endlessly both jealous of white men and attracted to white women. They are also vastly more unpleasant to live around, aliens whose presence in the West contributes absolutely nothing to white society (unlike many Jews, who are not all civil rights attorneys or Hollywood subversives, but often productive scientists, doctors, business owners, etc), but causes vast ongoing harms to our people. The Muslims, moreover, cannot be eliminated as a physical security threat to the West except via military superiority, which our liberal weakness and embrasure of ‘diversity’ is causing us rapidly to forfeit.

  8. Alexandra says:
    August 21, 2021 at 9:33 am

    In my senior years now, I was diagnosed with heart ‘troubles’, so I decided to begin exercising again, which I had mostly neglected throughout life.  I use all of the ‘push and pull and lift’ machines, right down the row, for 10 to 20 reps each, and I am sure I am the laughing stock of the weight lifters walking by to the weight room, but it sure works for me.  I use each row twice in an hour, after re-setting the machine from 120+ lbs resistance to 10 lb., and I am feeling ever so much much better after two months.  Thanks to this post, I will hit the city park trails next, and maybe even get back in the pool.  As for ‘hiking’ in Afghanistan, I’ll have to pass, thanks to Biden’s ineptitude in ‘nation building’ in that third world dump.

    1. Lord Shang says:
      August 22, 2021 at 5:52 pm

      Kudos to you! Anyone who would shame a senior citizen for working out is disrespectful and pathetic.

  9. Kathryn S says:
    August 21, 2021 at 11:55 pm

    You touched on another and very important benefit to the nature trek: it develops  environment-awareness, an alertness — to always be cognizant of the things going on around you. It’s perhaps the greatest weapon, and one that can also be useful in more urban areas.

  10. Captain John Charity Spring MA says:
    August 22, 2021 at 6:39 am

    Taliban have Zero Carbon Footprint

    1. Antidote says:
      August 22, 2021 at 9:54 am

      It looks like they’ve completely conquered Covid-19 as well.

      1. Alex Lund says:
        August 23, 2021 at 7:47 am

        To Antidote:

        Yes, it seems that COVID19 has avoided Afghannistan totally. Just look at these Taliban indoors without masks. And I bet they arent vaxxed.

        IRONY SARC OFF

        I have a distinct feeling that COVID and Taliban dont mix. They are mutually exclusive.

        Wouldnt that be the joke par excellence!

        Become a Taliban and you are immune to COVID19.

  11. Bigfoot says:
    August 22, 2021 at 7:28 pm

    Why didn’t the military brass see this coming? Why didn’t the military and civilan leadership figure out that we couldn’t remake that country into an outpost of the west? Perhaps we should have concentrated on taking out Bin Laden and his cronies as the sole goal, as opposed to nation building. I believe some of our generals and admirals have let the nation down. They are to concerned with cultural marxism, political correctness, rooting out conservative white servicemen, and guarding against phantom white supremacists. There are other benefits to spending time in the woods. One is, you are not bombarded with advertisments, and two, you can take a break from pop culture.

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