So Awful You Have To Laugh:
Dark Humor in Instauration

2,360 words

In February, I wrote a two-part article on Instauration after poring over the 25-year archive of the venerable newsletter. I included what I felt were some choice nuggets of wisdom from a publication bursting with profound insights into our situation as a race. One thing I had forgotten was how funny the readers and writers of Instauration could be.

Of course, it is much easier to be funny when you don’t have to conform to taboos. Offering forbidden thoughts on race with simple honesty can often be hilarious. That is why the Right tends to be much funnier than the Left. As everyone knows, “the Left can’t meme.” True humor is based on honesty and nothing is funnier than holding up the lies and hypocrisy of our times to ridicule. Instauration writers often did this in a dark, mocking tone that exposed the absurdity of our racial situation. 

An early example of government affirmative action appointments elicited the following from the newsletter:

Carter has assigned a Mexican-American to run the Immigration Service — comparable to making an arsonist the local fire chief. With the mestizo hordes wading across the Rio Grande in Camp of the Saints numbers, with perhaps one-tenth of the entire population of Mexico illegally in the U. S., we wonder exactly what Senor Leonel J. Castillo will do to protect the American citizenry from being overrun by his racial cohorts. 

(“Inklings,” August 1977, p. 12.)

I’m sure it is what the Founders would have wanted:

The 15,000 inhabitants of the Northern Marianas will soon become American citizens, but with an all-important proviso. Their constitution guarantees that all the land in the islands, except for military installations, will be owned by persons of Northern Mariana descent, which is a slight kick in the parchment for the Fourteenth Amendment. We are sure that Congress will work out this discrepancy to the satisfaction of everyone but the Majority members of this country, whose ancestors happened to write the amendment. 

(“Racial Notes,” August 1977, p. 10.)

The readers of Instauration did not just complain about anti-white movies, they pointed out — often in a funny way — the hypocrisies of those black and brown saints we are now required to worship. The following is from a reader review of the anti-white film Gandhi in 1983:

In India he [Gandhi] urged his fellow countrymen not to travel on the magnificent railway system (since rundown) the British exploiters had provided for them. His reason for this was characteristically “Eastern” and would have earned any Western political leader an indefinite stay in a lunatic asylum. It was that good travels slowly and evil travels fast, and because the white man’s trains were fast, they were by definition evil! Nevertheless, he never hesitated to travel by train himself. He similarly urged Indians not to attend British hospitals in India, which he quite charmingly described as brothels and the white nurses as prostitutes, though he quickly (not slowly) made his way to the nearest of them when he was stricken by appendicitis.

(“The Safety Valve,” December 1983, p. 3.)

The horrors of dealing with multiracial dysfunction nevertheless provided frequent comic relief for subscribers:

A vignette of our new America and the promise it holds for us was an incident in Richmond, the capital of the Old South. After filling my gas tank at a service station, an Hispanic attendant took my credit card. When he didn’t return, I went into the station and found him talking on the phone. He could not make himself understood to the credit card center, so he handed the phone over to me. An Oriental was on the other end. After I had served as an interpreter, I got an earful from the Aztec about how awful the Chinks were. In the name of racial toleration and brotherhood, I agreed that we Americans were in deep trouble if we let the Asians take over. The Aztec agreed happily, no doubt dreaming of the glory days and of lifting still pounding hearts skyward again.” 

(“The Safety Valve,” March 1986, p. 2.)

As whites are learning more and more these days, truth is no defense when it comes to breaking taboos. Here is an early such example:

Elmer A. Chipparoni, the chairman of the Republican Party in North Kingstown (RI), wrote in a newspaper article last August that “white America” is committing “genetic and cultural suicide” by letting in so many blacks, Hispanics and Asians. Needless to say, Elmer Chipparoni is no longer chairman of anything, nor ever likely to be. 

(“Cultural Catacombs,” December 1988, p. 14.)

An early and amusing example of non-whites occasionally glimpsing the truth about how privileged they really are:

Jaron Yaltan, born in Ahmedabad, India, was a nonwhite for 60 years — until he came down with a rare cell disease, vitiligo, which removes brown pigment from human skin. At that point, Yaltan, who lives in London, suddenly became for all intents and purposes a white. His experiences were an education in race relations. When he wondered whether a black clerk had given him the wrong change, he was told he was accusing her of stealing. When he accidentally bumped into a black customer in a supermarket, the latter exclaimed, “You always want to do that to me, don’t you?” When he criticized a black for barging to the head of a long line, he was called a “racist.” Since none of this had ever happened to Yaltan when he was “brown,” it didn’t take him long to understand that the racism of nonwhites against whites puts the reverse kind in the shade. “I think it is incredible that British people are as tolerant as they are,” Yaltan commented. Having been on both sides of the racial fence, he has learned that nonwhites in Britain live and breathe their own kind of racism and show no signs of giving it up or taming it. His own firsthand experiences left Yaltan very pessimistic about any solution of the racial problem. Thinking him a white, his own compatriots would launch into vicious antiwhite racial slurs in his presence. He knew what they were saying because they spoke in Gujerati, blissfully unaware that it was Yaltan’s native language. “This is the white man’s burden,” he lamented. “I am carrying it now, and believe me, it is very heavy.” 

(“Elsewhere,” December 1988, p. 30.)

The horrors of black crimes provided many opportunities for dark humor. These are from the November 1992 issue:

In the good old days in white countries, highwaymen would gallop up to a stagecoach, politely deprive all the occupants of their possessions, tip their feathered hats and ride off into the sunset. Today, black highwaymen, otherwise known as carjackers, are not so gentlemanly. They stop a car at gunpoint, steal the valuables of drivers and passengers, kill everyone and drive the stolen car off to the nearest ghetto.

One of the worst examples of carjacking took place in Maryland in early September when two young blacks jumped in a car driven by a mother taking her 22­ month-old daughter to pre-school. They proceeded to throw the woman out of the car and sped off, dragging her behind them since her left hand was entangled in the car seat belt. After they had driven a mile or so the mother, Pamela Basu, a chemistry Ph.D. born in India, was battered to death (at one point the carjackers ran up alongside a barbed wire fence in an effort to scrape her off). Her baby girl was thrown out on the side of the road. Somehow the infant survived. 

(“The New Highwaymen,” November 1992, p. 19.)

It was an open and shut case of police brutality to the sympathetic media. When Ronald Griffin, a black ex-con, showed up at a San Francisco Bay Area hospital last June with a broken jaw, he claimed four white policemen had beaten him unconscious with nightsticks while he was being questioned. Days later it came out that Griffin’s broken jaw was caused by the recoil of his revolver when he was shooting a Hispanic who tried to rob him in the middle of a marijuana sale. 

(“Primate Watch,” November 1992, p. 25.)

Instaurationists were keen observers of racial realities and not afraid of the thought police:

Browsing through a San Antonio dept. store recently, I encountered a small dark urchin who was giving a good impersonation of an air-raid siren as he darted in and out among the sweaters and coats. No more than six, he was rampaging about and screaming at the top of his quite remarkable lungs. Mamma — they have long ago dropped the traditional “mammy” — was browsing somewhere and paying scant attention to her offspring’s Simian antics. Nothing really unusual in all this. White kids also act bratty in public. But suddenly the pint-sized dynamo sprinted up to the saleslady in charge, pointed a tiny finger and screamed, “Gimme all yo munni!” Half a dozen white customers giggled nervously. The pickaninny tried again, even louder and more demanding than before: “White lady, I sayd gimme all yo munni fum dat cash res’stuh! Now!” Assorted chuckles emanated from the whites. “Isn’t that darling!” “How cute!” Even the obtuse saleslady smiled indulgently. A sharp whack on his nappy skull from mamma, a grunted, “Qui dat,” and he quickly subsided into muffled whimpers. 

(“The Safety Valve,” February 1993, p. 4.)

Nearly 30 years ago, even Jay Leno could slip in occasional (and very mild) racial humor that only blacks are allowed to use now:

Jay Leno on the Tonight show said Los Angeles and Ho Chi Minh City will be sister cities. It makes sense, since both have heavy traffic, and both were once occupied by Americans. 

(“The Safety Valve,” February 1995, p. 3.)

“Vibrant” cultural practices and pretensions were a frequent target of ridicule for Instauration:

Indian shaman Marrion Three Hawks has a Ft. Worth art gallery, which serves as his private health clinic for curing women of various diseases by old Redskin remedies and ceremonies. At least ten females fell for his promotional brochure and became the target of rapes, attempted rapes and other forms of sexual molestation — not generally considered to be staples of Indian “medicine.” 

(“Primate Watch,” February 1995, p. 29.)

Raul Julia, the Puerto Rico-born actor who recently passed on to that Big Barrio-in-the-Sky, once observed that while he had played many non-Latino roles, he remained proud of both his own Latino heritage and the general contributions of Latinos to the United States: “We’re going to give the whole country salsa, spice. That cold, analytical, computer-like Saxon mentality is going out the window, We’re going to bring passion into vogue again.” Majority members who, if only for sentimental reasons, still somehow expect minorityites to feel and perhaps even express a smidgen of gratitude for the opportunities this country has given them would do well to think twice about Senor Julia’s remarks. As a film actor, he became rich and famous in the U.S. In return he offered America’s core population a swift kick in the cojones. He might have reflected that it was the “cold, analytical, computer-like Saxon mentality” of one Thomas Alva Edison that led to the development of the first kinetoscope, thus making the entire movie industry.

(“Cultural Catacombs,” February 1995, p. 25.)

As shown most recently by the George Floyd farce, the destruction of our once proud legal system at the hands of black reprobates and their enablers has been complete for some time:

The 23 lawyers who formed Rodney King’s defense team submitted a bill to the city of Los Angeles for $4.4 million. The amount is $600,000 more than the $3.8 million King received in his judgment against the city. Steven Lerman, one of the shysters, whined, “All I’m asking for is a day’s wage for a day’s work!” Included in the alleged 13,000 hours of work at $350 an hour was the time shysters spent on talk shows . . . taking King to movie and theater premieres . . . attending his birthday party . . . coaching him for the news conference where he pleaded, “Can’t we all get along?” . . . countering the negative publicity generated when their client, with a transvestite prostitute in his car, reportedly tried to run down a police officer. 

(“Talking Numbers,” December 1995, p. 21.)

Blacks can often provide jolliment at the expense of other blacks.

When Colin Powell was in the limelight every minute, the media occasionally remarked on the conflict between our homegrown Negroes and the more recent arrivals from the West Indies. Apparently this intraracial feuding has been going on for a long time. While reading The Cult of Equality, a book by Stuart Omer Landry, I learned that Harlem youths called the newcomers “monkey-chasers” and threw stones at them. The white tropical suits of the Caribbean blacks made them easy targets. A popular ditty of the era: 

“When a monkey-chaser dies, Don’t need no undertaker, Just throw him in de Harlem River. He’ll float back to Jamaica.” 

(“Black Feuding,” August 1996, p. 16.)

Instaurationists even discovered truths popularized by game advocates like Heartiste and Roosh a decade or more later:

Luke Perry (Beverly Hills 90210) is often on the tube in what used to be called B movies. He’s short, looks badly in need of a bath, wears cheap and dirty slept-in clothes, lets his hair stick up in tufts (doesn’t he own a comb?), favors threeday beards and slouches instead of walks. Naturally, every girl on the show is crazy about him. 

(“Primate Watch,” November 1999, p. 22.) 

These can be depressing times for our people. Instauration showed that keeping a good sense of humor about the depravity around us is perhaps the best defense mechanism against despair. Our enemies certainly continue to give us lots of material to laugh at and mock.

Peter Bradley writes from northern Virginia.

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