Counter-Currents
Detail, Francisco Goya , Saturn Devouring his Son, 1819-1823.
1,090 words
As usual, it starts with an anecdote — a “friend of a friend” kind of story. There was a guy who raised pigs. He wasn’t a professional pig farmer, but he raised some hogs on the side. He lived in a town with a large cakes and sweets company. So, to save on pig feed, he’d purchase the cakes and sweets unfit for human consumption and their byproducts from the factory. That’s what he used to feed the hogs. Then a friend of a friend was invited to the amateur hog farmer’s house for roast hog. Indeed, a whole crew of guys got together, since it’s apparently impossible for the average man to eat a whole hog all by himself. I’m told they killed the pig with an axe and roasted it on a spit over a great big fire. They were probably salivating something fierce as they prepared to devour this delectable meat, but the first bite of pork held a nasty surprise. The pork tasted like cookies. Not faintly. Not a sugary aftertaste. Not a sweetish aroma. The pork was sweet and tasted like literal cookies.
I could not believe my ears. I was incredulous. What universe do we live in when pork can taste like cookies?
I was ready to dismiss this story out of hand until my friend, whose friend had gone to the cookout, set his mug of black ale resolutely on the beer hall table and assured me that he “shits me not.” That settled it. I was a believer in hog cookies.
Now, we can discuss how you are what you eat. This also applies to the animals we eat. You are what your food eats. For example, people who do not eat omnivores cannot consider themselves meat-eaters. Pigs and prawns are the most commonly consumed meat-eaters, and anyone who avoids these delicacies should be considered a vegetarian and treated with the same suspicion and distrust we reserve for these gastronomic deviants. Insofar as we are committed to health, wellness and strength, we should not only mind our diets, but our food’s diet as well. Many other people have harped on about eating grass-fed and free-range meat, rather than meat from factory-farmed animals. Eating free-range animals is also important because their offal contains those vital vitamins we’d otherwise be forced to consume through vegetables (hawk ptooey). Your physical fitness is greatly determined by what you eat, possibly to an even greater degree than your physical activity. It won’t do you much good to exercise like a madman if you consume garbage and gruel to sustain yourself. Part of the reason why the modern world is the way it is is that we are weak and complacent due to our unhealthy diets. As the data guys say, garbage in, garbage out. So, there’s a lesson for you: buy meat from sources where you can be reasonably certain that the animals are properly fed and cared for. It’ll cost more, but that’s the price of being healthy.
You can buy It’s Okay to Be White: The Best of Greg Johnson here.
But I’d like to broach a different subject.
I trust that the reader understands the metabolic similarity between men and pigs. We are more similar to our pink, hoof-legged friends than we’d like to think. Hey, they don’t call it long pork for nothing. Therefore, it stands to reason that if a pig fed on cookies and cakes will taste like cookies when eaten, a man fed on cookies and cakes will taste like cookies when eaten.
While for the time being, I have no plans to eat my neighbor’s ass, the pig story intrigued me. 2020 saw me under lockdown, with no gym to go to for the better part of the year. Demons I long considered buried started rearing their ugly heads. 2020 was the year I was reminded of my ravenous sweet tooth and predilection for fast food binges, fueled by the boredom of nothing to do while everything was locked down. 2020 was the year when I reawakened my old sugar addiction and got fat.
Now, I can walk around and look for excuses. There was the lockdown, so my gym was closed. I’m genetically prone to obesity and I have an addictive personality, both traits running in the family. I also have the age-old problem of washed-up jocks: nothing in the civilian world compares to the number of calories I used to burn when I was doing pro sports. But ultimately, it was me who willingly purchased the hamburgers, potato chips, and genuinely frightening quantities of cheesecake. It was me who shoved them down my gullet, and it was me who did not avail himself of the armbars and jungle gyms around town. Man is subject to circumstance, but also in charge of his own destiny. The tension of these two contradictory statements is where life happens and in the year of our Lord 2020, I made all the wrong choices.
When I heard the pig story, my first thought was about what my flesh would taste like if eaten. The very thought of cookie dough pork made my stomach turn, but what would I taste like, given my nasty diet? For all of Nick’s piss and vinegar, Jeelvysteaks are basically candy. Believe it or not, the thought of my flesh tasting like cookies was the shock I needed to shake me out of my complacency. That was three weeks ago. I’ve removed all carbohydrates from my diet, ceased drinking, and hopefully, I’ll reach my usual levels of fitness too.
I’m sharing this story because it is interesting. Cookie hog sounds like a good name for a psychedelic rock band, but I’m also sharing this story because I hope it’ll help you the way it helped me.
Next time you’re tempted to eat junk food or sugars, think of poor Alex Jones stringing you up by a chain, gutting you, skinning you, turning your ass into steaks of magnificent smell and color, and biting into you — only to discover that he’s eating meat which tastes like cookies.
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27 comments
It’s my understanding that a lot of the tax money being made off whites at these legal pot shops is being funneled into programs that amount to little more than reparations and that the legal licenses to sell an addictive chemical at outrageous profit are very valuable and highly sought after and are almost always issued to “minority groups” not unlike how Indians were given casinos to steal from whites who “stole” their land. Am I wrong??
I can relate. I degenerated last year, but managed to reverse it in the last two months. 25 pounds down since January 2, and maybe I’ll keep going until I look like an Arno Breker statue.
Good for you, Beau Albrecht.
Take long long walks.
As Moslem, although not strong religious, I do not eat pork and this does not bother me. There are many other sorts of meat and I can easy live without pork.
If someone has the misfortune of devouring my flesh, I’m afraid I would taste like Ramen noodles, hamburger helper, and Maxwell House coffee.
As a non-muslim I eat pork.
Not because i have to. But I choose to. On occasions.
It makes me stronger.
I tell the world that I do not allow a cult of submission to weaken me and hold me down.
I sat down with my salad for lunch today to come to CC and read. (I gave up carbs a week ago after seeing the Cookie Hog in the mirror.) It’s the red wine at night I am finding hard to give up.
Several years ago a doctor friend of mine told me that red wine was a “super food”. I just googled “superfood” and got numerous hits but not one of the lists had red wine on it. My wife and I both love wine but maybe we are going to have to cut back on it.
I watched some of the Wrong Turn series of movies that are chocked full of cannibal action. Another victim of the freezing cold weather here and lack of motivation to trudge to the gym in a mask. I better start to get active like our author or my wife might string me up like a ripe little old piglet.
Cannibalism was an often event in the Soviet Union, when the Bolsheviks have arranged a deliberate starvation in 1932-33.
Ask any vegan why all people (including them) have both molar and incisor teeth (hint: the incisors are for tearing flesh…).
Man is, genetically and metabolically, an omnivore. What sense then does veganism make?
A relative of my wife (and her unfortunate husband) have been vegan for over 20 years. I absolutely dread going over there to eat anything. I politely partake, but hearing everyone exclaim just how tasty everything on the table is only convinces me they are really just starving for real food.
They’ve moved on to moralistic arguments recently.
So stupid. Those teeth are not at all meant to tear meat. And besides, it doesn’t matter if they are. That’s an appeal to nature fallacy. Pathetic reasoning, dude.
Lol, hey Nick have you seen this movie?
https://rarelust.com/long-pigs-2007/
“I am vegetarian, but not because I love animals, but because I hate plants”.
Pork always struck me as the lesser red meat in my experience.
The tier list goes:
1. Beef/veal
2. Goat/lamb
3. Horse/deer
4. Pork
5. Tuna (the prime beef of seafood)
6. Turkey
7. Fried cod (the fish ‘n’ chips kind)
-power gap
8. Chicken. I have a great dislike for chicken. I am a poultryist. I am a chickenphobe. The sinewy rubbery tastelessness of it fills my mind with Lovecraftian adjectives. The only form of chicken I enjoy is a well prepared breast or the nugget variety that is so processed to hardly resemble chicken at all.
8. Salmon
9. The rest. Slimy sea creatures are generally disgusting to eat, let alone raw. Barely a step above cockroaches. Leave these things in the sightless stygian depths where they belong, don’t trawl them up and onto my dinnerplate. Japanese cuisine can bite my lily white ass.
Horse?? Is that really a thing unless you’re dying of starvation out on the plains?
It can be, so I hear. The Norse called it hrossi-kjots. I have no idea what it tastes like.
Horse meat is classic and traditional food for the horsemen peoples of the Great Steppe.
Vauquelin,
Great effort…entertaining.
i would put wild meat at the top of the list – non domesticated and hasn’t had its bloodline messed with by humans.
Using the lockdown as an excuse for weight gain is lazy BS. Why do I need a gym? The outdoors are free. I’ve never hiked and mountain biked so much in my entire life since the lockdown.
Anyone that doesn’t agree with veganism is a selfish hypocrite. Gloating about killing an animal with an axe… So manly… Too bad you still can’t stop retarded hipsters from ruining our society. Must be because you’re so manly…
Historically seen, the meat/and fish-eating nations have always dominated over vegetarian nations, like some thousands of the fish/meat-eating English have conquered and ruled millions of vegetarian Hindus.
Don’t eat biscuit fed pigs. Got it. thanks for the diet tip.
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