Rock Bottom Blackpills

3,354 words

So, in fact, this is not a humiliating defeat at all, but a rare species of victory. ^[2] 

— Cato the Younger, blackpiller. 

In this amazing modern world that we’ve built for ourselves, the shower is the only place we’re not surrounded by electronics, at least for now.

That’s exactly where I was when Dementia Joe was sworn in as president of America. So, I missed it. But I did not miss the fallout. Many plan-trusters, Q-believers, and Trump loyalists are now becoming, in their own words, blackpilled — they’ve surrendered to despair. They’re now descending into the depression of the defeated. I heard once in a Jordan Peterson lecture that depression is neurochemically indistinguishable from being at the bottom of the social hierarchy. That’s a pretty good descriptor of the position of American young white men, especially if they’re conservative. Whites of both genders and all ages are going to feel the sting of being the lowest. It’s okay to blackpill now. All is lost. 

You’ll hear very good arguments to the contrary. They’ll probably come from this very website, from me, from men much smarter and more experienced than me. They’ll probably be sound. They may even be correct; even true. But for the time being, let’s not kid ourselves. This is rock bottom. Let the blackpill flow through you. 

It feels like a shock because it’s the first time you’ve felt defeated in a long time. Somebody sold you a bill of goods: that you and your side are winning. I won’t tell you that you weren’t winning, only that your victories were merely symbolic  ^[3]and morale-boosting rather than effective. That’s okay, I get it. I like winning too. You’re used to hearing that people like me are born losers who’ve grown to love losing. I can’t speak for other chronic blackpill users, but personally, I played and still play competitive sports. I’m quite good at a few of them, so I’m no stranger to winning. It feels much better than losing. But you’ve lost now. Much like the millennial snowflakes of memetic yore, you were used to never losing. But now you lost, Bobby, you lost and now you are a loser, Bobby. ^[4] But it’s ok. 

Someone sold you a bill of goods: that winners win and losers lose, that winning gives you legitimacy and that losing denies you legitimacy. It’s not even false. As we all know, Might makes Right. There’s even a book ^[5], written by someone calling himself Ragnar Redbeard. Defeat, however, is an inevitability under conditions of uncertainty. Given enough time and uncertainty, basing your legitimacy and self-respect on victory makes you fragile to defeat. Somebody made you deadly afraid of losing because to lose meant to become a loser. Every day I’d see “a much-needed whitepill” being promoted on Twitter or YouTube. You were addicted to victory, so you were popping these whitepills like crazy. But now they’ve lost their effect and there are no whitepills to be found. I hope you like them apples, Bobby, because, and I will reiterate, you are a loser now. 

I don’t blame you for being like this. I am like this too. I hate losing. Between you and me, friend, I too had a period of cautiously believing in Q, specifically between September and November of 2018. It quickly became apparent to me that this narrative was bullshit, but I allowed myself to hope for deus ex machina for about a month and a half. It was because I’d come down from a grand victory to a humiliating defeat in the space of about three weeks and got a little nutty. But hey, the shock got me to quit smoking and take up hiking, so it wasn’t all bad. You’re gonna start thinking in the direction of “no political solution” and start gearing for war. It’ll pass, though. You’ll desperately look for whitepills and even fall into some confidence tricks (or worse, counterintelligence stings) that hinge on you believing that an authority figure or a network of dissidents is organizing to strike back at the enemy. Their public destruction will demoralize you or maybe even taint you with the appearance of criminality. But that will also pass. 

You’ve been defeated in the field of political battle. This stings. You are now powerless and you know it, whereas previously you were powerless without knowing it. This stings even worse. You now cannot resist the enemy in an organized fashion. You are now at the bottom of the social hierarchy and your existence will be merely tolerated, if even that, by the powers that be. But you’re not dead and you haven’t gone insane. And that is sometimes good enough. 

Did I say you haven’t gone insane? I could be wrong. The first dose of the blackpill is pretty intense and right now, you’re mainlining all of the blackpills at once. Every dose of disappointment that I took since Trump bombed Syria all those years ago in 2017, when I stress-ate two hamburgers on my lunch break to cope with the sense of betrayal, you’re now getting all at once. Trump cucked, which means he was probably always a cuck, or dishonest, or incompetent, or poorly-advised or. . . and now you’re going back in time and remembering all the times you gave him the benefit of the doubt and called men like me depressed, Antifa, shills, feds, blackpillers and all sorts of delightful names. Hey, I gave as good as I took. You called me a shill, I called you a MAGApede. We’re even. But my offer of friendship and peace won’t make the sting of betrayal go away. If you’re lucky, you’ll stress-eat and maybe stupefy yourself with your liquor of choice. Others will give in to despair in all the wrong ways. It won’t be easy. Not only will you have to detox from the whitepills, but you’ll also have to inure yourself to the blackpills. Believe me, friend, you’ll be having nothing but blackpills for the foreseeable future. 

I usually wash them down with whiskey. 

For the past few years, you’ve walked around with your chest puffed out, convinced that you were a winner. You strutted around calling people losers. This made you fragile to losing and now you’ve lost. People will now mock you for being a loser. Not only the Left, but people like me will mock you for being a loser. While I do not condone such behavior, do try to understand it. Your ideology itself will be mocked. For years, the only valid criticism — the Trump card, if you will — the civic nationalists, conservatives, alt-lite, neoreactionaries, and allied camps could level against the racialist Right was that our thing lost, was losing, and is doomed to perpetual losing, or more crudely, that we’re losers. 

Well, now you’re on Team Loser too.

You’re probably reading this on Counter-Currents.com ^[6], but are hopefully a newcomer, freshly outraged by the inauguration of the pretender Biden. You may have heard of us as racists. This is not just a Leftist slur. Inasmuch as people can correspond to a Trotskyite propaganda term, yes, we are racists. This doesn’t mean we hate non-white people. It means we are not blind to differences between the races and not closed to decision-making influenced by knowledge of such differences. We are also anti-Semites, in the sense that we are aware of Jews as racially distinct from Europeans and uniquely hostile to European interests and not closed to decision-making influenced by such knowledge. This doesn’t mean we hate Jews. 

You’ve probably heard that only people who have no accomplishments to their names — losers — identify with their race and use it as an organizing principle in politics. First of all, this is false. The readers and contributors to this and allied organizations, to my knowledge, are highly accomplished individuals and any lack of accomplishment may be attributed to systemic opprobrium towards race-aware thinkers. But more importantly, you may notice that we’re the only camp that seems at least psychologically unperturbed (or less so) by the recent travesties. This is because race is something you can’t lose. 

Remember when I told you that you made a mistake by basing your identity on victory? Victory can be taken away from you. You base your identity on your accomplishments. That can also be taken away from you. Your career, your house, all can be taken from you. Your family? It can be very easily taken away. Perhaps you’ve already lost it. Did you hear about all the children who reported their parents and relatives who entered the Capitol building to the FBI? The education and media rackets have been brainwashing your children and relatives nonstop. Why do you assume you haven’t lost them already? You don’t want to believe it. I understand. I didn’t want to believe it either. But guess what, even your grandma will disavow you, given enough brainwashing and social pressure. Wounds like that never heal. 

Some will respond that it doesn’t have to be race and ethnicity, that the central pillar of our identity can be faith, as the enemy can never take our faith away from us, but this is a false comfort. God, alas, doesn’t control the churches. A majority of churches have fallen to the enemy. You can always, of course, try to worship God without an intermediary, but that has rarely resulted in good outcomes. Maybe it’s just my stuffy old-world Orthodox sensibilities, but a “personal relationship” with God sounds just one step removed from bog-standard “spiritual but not religious” white girl voodoo. Add to that the fact that you’re probably not Job and that an overdose of blackpills can take away even your faith, leaving you with just the undeniable facts of your biology. 

This will be tough for you to accept, but your whiteness is probably the only thing that the enemy, or indeed any enemy, even an all-powerful one, cannot take away from you. Not even white liberals and traitors can get away from their race. No matter how much he cucks to the bioleninist ^[9] coalition, Joe Biden will never unwhite himself. So, there you have it. We are white people. Thence comes our right to be, our legitimacy, chiefly to ourselves. Our ancestors bequeathed this world to us. It is our patrimony. You will not replace us. It sounds very simple. Too simple to be true, in fact. Someone sold you a bill of goods that solutions to complex problems have to be complex. But I wouldn’t be a son of Alexander if I did not mention his own, stupefyingly simple complexity-elimination protocol ^[10]. 

I don’t expect you to become a racialist overnight. I don’t expect you to take in the entire program at once. There’s a big ole back catalog of philosophy and analysis to racialist thought. It’s a long and hard slog to read just the Jeelvy opus ^[11] on Counter-Currents. You might want to start with The White Nationalist Manifesto ^[12] or White Identity Politics ^[13], both by our illustrious editor, Dr. Greg Johnson. They’re both very accessible texts. But before you make any more purchases, let’s address something I’ve repeated several times in this essay. Somebody sold you a bill of goods. And you bought it. 

I’m no stranger to the purchase of shoddy goods. If I am ever king, the punishment for the sale of shoddy goods will be some gruesome, cruel, and as-of-yet uninvented method of execution. But even so, fault for the purchase of shoddy goods can never lie exclusively with the purveyor of such goods. As always, caveat emptor. You were sold a bill of goods and you bought them. You bought them because the deal was too good to be true. I get it. But you also bought those shoddy goods because of informational asymmetry between yourself and the vendor and that was due to your shoddy interpretational framework. 

Your interpretational framework is the mental construct you use to interpret facts and integrate them into a narrative that your mind can process and position you in relation to said interpreted facts. Human beings cannot process raw facts or decontextualized things, so we filter facts through interpretational frameworks. Not a single one of them is 100% accurate for reasons as convoluted as they are simple ^[14]. I’ve mentioned in a previous article ^[15] that we don’t use the t-word (truth) around here. That’s not entirely true, but might as well be. Our interpretative frameworks are either functional or not. Jordan Peterson would call the functioning ones “darwinistically true.” You don’t have to be a Heideggerian scholar to understand that the functional frameworks are the ones that account for the obscured part of reality (Heidegger’s Dickung, the thick of the woods), without necessarily demanding knowledge of what lies in there. The world is the way it is, a very complex equation that also has to solve for the unknown (and unknowable) unknowns. Your old interpretational framework led you to keep purchasing shoddy goods until you were in a house full of crap you never should have purchased in hindsight. Take Parler, for example. Many Trump supporters signed up for Parler and subsequently had their data leaked when Antifa hackers pillaged Parler’s slap-dash data stores. Who escaped this fate? Antisemites who shunned Parler because of its Jewish owners. Even if not all Jews are evil (and they’re probably not), behaving as if they are and shunning Jews as allies and business partners is darwinistically true, or at least functional insofar as it protects the antisemite from Jewish malfeasance. 

You may want to read this article. ^[16] But briefly, the US government is not a single entity, but broadly divided into two halves, the Blue Empire and the Red Empire. This is the classic neoreactionary view of the US government, as elucidated by Mencius Moldbug ^[17], and for what it’s worth, I think it’s true. The Red Empire is the Pentagon, the NSA, the Chamber of Commerce, the Military-Industrial complex, and some of Wall Street, vs. the Blue Empire, which is the US State Department, the CIA, the universities, media, Hollywood, Silicon Valley, most of Wall Street, and a little bit of everything else. In the linked article, I am making fun of the QAnon narrative, but the core takeaway should be that the Red Empire, which I’ve subsequently named Team Mammon to underscore their evil nature, are not the good guys. These people are not on your side, will not protect your interests, do not mind replacement immigration, dissolution of the family, or globalization. But if you’re reading this as a freshly disappointed Trump voter, new to the blackpill, you probably believed them to be the good guys. That’s ok. 

The Q narrative is easy and fun to mock, chiefly because it’s so convoluted and evocative of millenarian frenzies, but it’s far from the only one relying on the goodness of the Team Mammon. Many such narratives existed, all of them hinging on trusting Trump, the Red Empire, and some sort of plan. Semiogogue, one of the brightest people in the Dissident Right, put his trust in such a plan, and has unfortunately been forced to consume corvids ^[18] for sustenance. Charlemagne ^[19], the neoreactionary YouTuber, has put his trust in some sort of plan, even though he is one of the few neoreactionary skeptics of the Red Empire. Bronze Age Pervert exhorted his followers to “defend the lion,” and kept his trust in Trump until the very last. Nick Fuentes jumped off the Trump bandwagon earlier than most, but he was a plan-truster for a long time, mostly appealing to the lack of a serious political alternative to Trump. Even Jim Donald, ^[20] who may be the third-most-eminent neoreactionary thinker behind Mencius Moldbug and Nick Land, trusted some sort of plan, or at least Trump’s instincts. They all assumed that the Red Empire, Team Mammon, were not enemies of the people and enemies of Trump. They all assumed that Donald Trump had the courage and the wherewithal to effectively fight the enemy. 

The first step towards constructing a functioning interpretational framework is demolishing the old one. When I decided to become a political activist in November 2018, I entered the space of Macedonian dissident politics believing that there was already an organization that needed young men like me to be foot soldiers. What I encountered was a labyrinthine dumpster fire of grifters and counterintelligence operators. Together with a band of allies, we are still trying to clear away this web of lies and deception so we can begin to construct a functional interpretative framework. So must you begin by unlearning everything you thought you knew about the inner workings of the American government. Most of you are probably angry with the GOP and wouldn’t piss on it if it were on fire. This is a good start. Next step: OUR BEAUTIFUL MILITARY are not your friends. They’re just as much part of the hated federal bureaucracies, just as globalist, just as anti-white, just as anti-male and anti-family. You hate socialism. Good. This doesn’t mean that you should like large corporations, nor does it mean that the state exercising sovereignty over economic actors is socialism. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by snakes such as Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, and Dennis Prager. They purvey shoddy goods and should be punished for it, but you bought these goods. You wanted to believe that you were fighting socialists, just like Reagan, because you were reluctant to let go of the romantic figure of the Gipper. That’s okay. He was a winner. So was Trump. People like winners. But we must move past that now. 

You’re gonna have to learn how to act without the dopamine of the constant whitepills pulsing through you. You’re gonna have to learn to act while the blackpill burns through your throat and turns your arms and legs into lead. You will have to come to grips with the fact that you were lied to and that you’ve painted yourself into a corner where the only way out is through. You might have to break bread with racists and antisemites just to survive. You might have to come to terms with the overwhelming might of the enemy. For the first time in years, you will have to come to terms with just how bad things are and just how evil the United States government is. It’s not just them. The whole world is ruled by evil men. It will not be easy. You will feel like hammered shit. Getting out of bed will become a chore. There’s no going back to fantasyland. There’s no normal now. And yet, now that you’ve hit rock bottom and lost everything, now you are genuinely free. 

The last thing you have to lose is your psychological comfort. You must learn to embrace the blackpill, the suffering, the humiliation, the daily sting of defeat, the depression, the all-permeating knowledge that you’re at the bottom of the social hierarchy, hated, scorned, possibly hunted and jailed. Let go and give in to the suffering. It will be tough and it will take time, but if you can resist despair, you will come out so inured to it that you’ll one day be able to join me at the bar, washing down entire handfuls of blackpills with triple-distilled Irish whiskey. Become robust, even antifragile to defeat, and uncertainty + time (and they’re the same thing) will work for you and against the enemy. 

So, in a sense, your arrival at rock bottom is not a humiliating defeat at all, but the beginning of a rare species of victory. 

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