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Yes, This Is a Conspiracy Theory

[1]2,320 words

Quick question: Did Jeffrey Epstein kill himself?

If you say “no,” then you’re a conspiracy theorist. Or, at least, you are buying into this one conspiracy theory. And why not? The official narrative in which he committed suicide by hanging in his prison cell during the brief period in which two security cameras malfunctioned, two guards had fallen asleep, and his cellmate had been transferred. . . is more than a little fishy. Even if Epstein had been a low-level Mafia bagman, the number of coincidences here beggars credulity. But add to the story that Epstein was a billionaire pedophile and sex trafficker who likely had lethal dirt on a number of powerful people, and a clearer picture emerges.

In order to keep his mouth shut, he was taken out by people who know how.

This is the perfect conspiracy theory. Not only is the conspiracy narrative more believable than the official narrative, but it is also vastly more entertaining. At the same time, it cannot be proven. The conspirators are too well-connected, too good at what they do to leave behind any clues.

Therefore, the best anyone can do is speculate.

A year later, the same miasma of unprovable certainty now surrounds the 2020 presidential election, or at least how many on the Right perceive it. Donald Trump was winning handily until a series of unlikely coincidences occurring in certain swing states in the middle of the night shifted the victory to Joe Biden. As with Epstein, the fix clearly was in. But there are major differences, two being that the supposed conspirators did leave behind clues and that half the country desperately wanted Epstein to die. Imagine if it had been another Jeffrey, Jeffrey Dahmer, who had died under suspicious circumstances. Would anyone care if someone broke the letter of the law engineering that man’s untimely demise? This is how the Left views the 2020 election — the official narrative of a Joe Biden victory is likely true, but if not, who cares? Donald Trump is so racist and evil he deserves to lose, by hook or by crook.

Of course, they will never say this. Their hatred for Trump and his supporters is so complete that winning actually supplants truth in their minds. Imagine a hostile, vindictive wife during divorce proceedings. If you want to talk, don’t even think about approaching her. Call her lawyer and leave a message. And it doesn’t really matter if she’s hooked on Romilar, maxed out your credit card, and cheated on you with your ex-brother-in-law — she’s keeping the kids and the house. And if the judge says it’s true, then it’s true.

How can one argue with a person like that?

So, lacking a proper interlocutor in the wake of the 2020 election, all the Right can do is search for clues and speculate. And this has led to an unprecedented proliferation of conspiracy theories on the Right. Politically speaking, these are the most interesting times I have ever lived in. Every day, there is a tantalizing new clue. Every day, there is an agonizing new plot twist. Every day, the Left refuses to consider any of it. And the uncertainty! Given the premise we have already established, a good scriptwriter could come up with any number of endings to this spy novel we’re living in, from Donald Trump leaving the White House with a whimper to his crossing the Rubicon and declaring martial law.

It’s a wonder we haven’t all lost ten pounds and managed a full night of sleep since November third.

I myself have no doubt that as of yet unnamed individuals conspired to sabotage the election. They did it electronically — or algorithmically — through our easily hackable Dominion voting systems. They did it manually by manufacturing hundreds of thousands of fraudulently cast mail-in ballots and dropping them off at polling stations in the dead of night. They did it the old fashioned way, counting ballots from non-residents, illegal immigrants, non-voters, and, of course, the dead. They made sure to do it with as few GOP poll observers as possible — even if these observers had to be shoved out of the building. They did it only in the swing states which either candidate would need to win the election. And they did it through the media by declaring Joe Biden the winner as soon as possible, ignoring all irregularities, and censoring anyone who refuses to shut up about it.

Yes, this is a conspiracy theory. As with the Epstein narratives, the conspiracy narrative is more believable (and more entertaining, don’t forget that) than the official narrative in which a listless, semi-demented Joe Biden miraculously surged to the lead in various swing states all at the same time in the middle of the night when trucks suddenly showed up carrying ballots that were nearly all for him — and only for him, without any down-ballot votes which would reveal the precincts of these alleged voters. Biden underperformed pretty much everywhere else, but because he superperformed in four municipalities (Atlanta, Milwaukee, Detroit, and Philadelphia) he gets the nod against an incumbent who earned eleven million more votes than he did in 2016.


And Epstein hanged himself.

It’s simply too much for me to believe this story over the conspiracy narrative. Unlike with Epstein, the signs of fraud are everywhere. The conspirators did not do a terribly good job of covering their tracks — although to be fair, in a conspiracy this large, it’s would be nearly impossible to cover them all. But still. . . But still, if you actually care to make a proper dive into this surprisingly deep rabbit hole, you will find a pot of gold at the bottom. If you are reading this, you are probably aware of the piles of evidence we already have. There’s no need to itemize them here. This Spectator article [2] describes many of the irregularities. Perusing the Gateway Pundit [3] will quickly get one up to speed. So would dedicating a few hours to watching Rudy Giuliani’s recent hearings in Pennsylvania [4], Arizona [5], and Michigan [6]. Richard Houck crunched the numbers [7] nicely for Counter-Currents a couple of weeks ago. Steve Turley teaches us how to argue the election [8] with normies. And then there’s President Trump doing his best Tom Petty and not backing down [9].

Further, the fact that the Democratic Party and the mainstream media have refused to acknowledge any of this and have behaved in an increasingly dictatorial fashion throughout only seals the deal for me. If these people have nothing to hide, why do they act like they’re hiding something? So, yes, the conspiracy theory pointing to a shadowy elite cooking the election for Biden makes more sense than the official narrative.

Now, do I have direct proof? No. Well, not really. I cannot meet the high standard of proof that a partisan Biden supporter would require. This would likely be nothing less than a video recording of the conspiracy in action, or uncoerced admissions from the conspirators themselves. But as with Epstein, of course we don’t have that. We are assuming a high level of competence among these elites. They would have to be able to cover their tracks, or else they never would have been able to commit such comprehensive fraud to begin with.

So we basically have everything except the smoking gun. We have affidavits, statistical improbabilities, expert testimony, evidence of rule-breaking, and other highly compelling pieces of evidence. Will it be enough?


You can buy Spencer Quinn’s novel White Like You here [11].

I believe that if enough Republicans in the state legislatures of these swing states take back control of appointing electors, or if the Supreme Court cares for justice in the way it is supposed to, then Trump will be reinaugurated in January. His case is just too strong. But these are two big ifs. Just because Republicans control the legislatures in these states and enjoy a five-to-four majority in the Supreme Court, does not mean these Republicans won’t cuck at the worst possible moment. It should make us all sick with worry that the plan for Donald Trump to keep the White House relies on his decision to declare martial law or the tenuous hope that certain Republicans will not cuck.

Anyone care to take that bet?

In this stagnant impasse between Left and Right, however, we’re discovering that multiple conspiracy theories are now thriving in the primordial muck. These are not just regarding how the election was stolen, but how Donald Trump will stop the steal. Many on the Right are now sifting through every scrap of evidence sprouting on the internet and frantically reading tea leaves in order to determine which of these conspiracy theories best fits the clues. Did you hear the CIA director Gina Haspel was found dead? That’s what the chans are saying, anyway. Did you hear Joe Biden approached Mitch McConnell and offered to concede in exchange for immunity for him and his family? A Chinese guy said it [12], so it has to be true. And speaking of China, did you hear that the Chinese government bought [13] a controlling interest in Dominion voting systems in October 2020? Isn’t that weird? And speaking of Dominion, why did someone abscond with a Dominion server [14] in Georgia after a judge ordered them to be impounded? And why are Sidney Powell’s witnesses turning up in the hospital [15]?

Recently, a person calling himself CodeMonkeyZ released a video [16] of a Dominion worker in Gwinnett County, Georgia purportedly downloading data from a Dominion machine onto a zip drive and then inserting that zip drive into a laptop in order to manipulate the data. Fraud? Maybe. Against the rules? I have no idea. Apparently, Gwinnett County learned about this and responded with a perfectly banal and, I have to say, reasonable explanation. This Twitter exchange nicely describes how this little tete-a-tete turned out:


It’s amazing how two sides can view the same event and come to polar opposite conclusions, isn’t it?

My favorite conspiracy theory on the Right, however, is the rumor that US Special Forces attacked and seized [17] the CIA server installation in Frankfurt, Germany, killing five. This was first leaked [18] by Representative Louie Gohmert shortly after the election. Attorney Sidney Powell mentioned it a few times during the lead up to her “Kraken” election fraud lawsuit in Georgia. Most recently, US Army Colonel Phil Waldron stated at Mayor Giuliani’s Arizona hearing that he noticed what just might have been internet traffic from the Dominion machines going to Frankfurt, Germany [19].

What to make of this? Well, obviously, Trump ordered forces loyal to him to retrieve those servers in order to get dirt on the culprits and then dish out sweet plea deals to get people to rat. And the ratting will not stop until we reach Biden or George Soros or maybe even the (((people))) who killed Epstein — wouldn’t that be awesome. Heck, Giuliani took out the mob in the 1980s. He knows all about this RICO stuff. And why haven’t we heard anything official about these servers? Well, obviously Trump is waiting for the right moment to spring them upon our enemies. It might be the same moment he crosses the Rubicon.

For all we know, every word of this is true.

On the other hand, these servers are a black box, so they could have nothing. We don’t know. Trump could have had his Geraldo Rivera moment with these stupid servers, and the reason we haven’t heard anything official about them is that he’s too embarrassed to admit that the whole enterprise was a waste of time! How do we know that’s not true?

Then again, maybe there never was a raid on servers in Frankfurt at all? People are saying that [20] as well.

I’m reminded of a line from a great Tom Waits song “Swordfishtromones”:

Now some say he’d doing the obituary mambo
Some say that he’s hanging on the wall
Perhaps this yarn is the only thing that holds this man together
Some say that he was never here at all

Some say they saw him down in Birmingham
Sleeping in a boxcar going by
And if you think that you can tell a bigger tale

I swear to God you’d have to tell a lie.

This is a bizarre time because we really don’t know what information is bad and what isn’t, and it’s coming from all directions, nonstop. The problem here is that some of the conspiracy theories springing up on the Right are fueled more by cynicism and mistrust than by reality. Of course, it doesn’t help that the Left, with its corruption and despotic behavior, gives the Right reason to be cynical and distrustful at every turn. But that still does not mean that all the information out there is correct. I have to say that the eagerness of many on the Right to swallow some of these conspiracy theories is giving the Left reason to think they’re a bunch of loons. And this will only encourage them more to dismiss the Right whenever they push conspiracy theories, even perfectly plausible ones — like how Epstein didn’t kill himself and how the Democrats stole the 2020 election.

And with neither side showing signs of backing down, the chances of this impasse becoming violent in the very near future are rising fast. It’s ironic how conspiracy theories, like the one that could exonerate Trump and save the United States from a Leftist coup, could also break down communication between Right and Left on what may turn out to be the eve of civil war.

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