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Groyping Don Jr.

2,025 words

I’ve got one for you. What do you get when you cross a white, Christian, conservative population with a conservative movement which ignores it? You get what you deserve.

Well, Conservative Inc. has been getting what it deserves good and hard since late October. Charlie Kirk, Rob Smith, Dan Crenshaw, Andrew Klavan, Matt Walsh, and even Ben Shapiro – a discontinued wind-up toy turned shill for globohomo and Israel – have been groyped, which is to say they have been forced to face tough questions and tougher crowds as their attempts to purvey the controlled cuckservative narrative have been repeatedly foiled by intrepid young men wondering quite loudly:

  • Why must American taxpayer money flow inexorably into the coffers of Israel, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and other countries hostile to Americans?
  • Why must there be endless overseas adventurism even as America is running out of blood and treasure and has precious little to gain from it?
  • Why is replacement of the native white population A-okay as long as the replacements “come here legally”?
  • Why must there be an insistence on “stapling green cards to diplomas” of foreign students so that they can muscle middle-class Americans out of their jobs?
  • Why oh why is an ostensibly conservative and Christian movement promoting the homosexual and transgender lifestyle?

So many questions, precious few answers. Conservative Inc., for their part, have responded by smearing the questioners, running hit pieces on prominent figureheads, belting out the usual epithets, gatekeeping, purging their organizations of patriots and nationalists, and kicking out even those who merely defend the right of such people to ask questions. Even more recently, they have begun shutting down Q&A sessions in their events. In a blatant attempt to carry on business as usual and peddle the controlled narrative, Conservative Inc. has failed to take into account that there is a contingent of bright young men who will have their voices heard, by hook or by crook. And something quite like that happened Sunday at UCLA.

The standard script for such events is to have Charlie Kirk and whichever supporting character he’s entertaining at the time field questions from college-age liberals or outright socialists so that they can proceed to destroy these liberal college kids with facts and logic! Of course, the entire edifice of feel-good college liberalism or American campus-style weed-and-free-shit socialism could be knocked over by an asthmatic 90-year-old woman, so the grifters of Conservative Inc. are what in boxing jargon are known as paper champions. They defeat absolute nobodies in order to bolster their credibility among respectable circles, chiefly among donors and to convince the broader conservative movement (and, I believe, themselves) that they are high-status winners.

At this point, I warmly invite you to read “Charlottesville’s Silver Lining,” my essay on the decline and fall of the Alt Lite. But assuming you’ve got no time, patience, or energy for more than one Jeelvyan irascible philippic per day, the operative concept is the following: In order to shore up their relevance, Alt Lite, center-Right, and centrist types have to constantly proclaim victory after victory and loudly trumpet the size and scope of their following.

The deeper, Dissident Right doesn’t need to be massive, or even win all that often in order to be relevant; our legitimacy is derived from our allegiance to the truth. We do not have to signal our high status; it is self-evident from our quest for the answers to the really tough questions. This makes us robust, even a little bit antifragile to failure. Every honest truth-seeker knows that being wrong is but a stepping stone to being right, and every falsified hypothesis decreases the number of unknowns in the world by one. All that being said, even if we cannot reach the full truth – or at least not in our lifetimes – then we can at least offer our audience an honest uncertainty about the world, and try to live with it as best as we can.

However, your typical Right-wing grifter, whether Alt Lite or center-Right, isn’t in the business of delivering truth. He is in the business of selling purple pills and comforting half-truths to people who would like to keep modernity, but simply remove a few of its worst excesses. More often than not, he is also in the business of limiting the range of allowable opinion, though I must confess that I find the audience a wee bit complicit in their deception.

After all, to believe Charlie Kirk’s platitudes about legal immigration is to deny the facts about legal immigration. The purple pill vendors exist because there is a market for it. Such vendors rely on their purportedly large following and high social status in order to gatekeep and grift.

You can usually tell that someone is not a truth-seeker, but rather a political striver if their speech is full of buzzwords relating to the status of the interlocutor. If they constantly harp on about how they are “winning,” “rising,” “massive,” and “the best,” whereas they dismiss you either using the usual epithets or with more general insults such as “trash,” “garbage,” “shit,” “retards,” and of late “incel,” then yes, this person has an agenda not entirely aligned with the truth.

Of course, sometimes even honest people use tactics like these. Indeed, I’ve used many such buzzwords in this very article, but this is only to be expected; humans are highly social creatures who use status to acquire resources, political power, and ultimately, reproductive success. Beware people whose speech consists of nothing but status signaling, and doubly beware such people who purport to be your friends.

This is why the Groyper Uprising is such a bugaboo for Conservative Inc. Deprived of the ability to smash chairs over the heads of hapless campus socialists, they’re exposed as shams who aren’t “winning” and who aren’t “fighting the culture war.” The establishment is scared because the kayfabe of mainstream politics is breaking. And now, the long, green arm of the groyper has reached Donald Trump, Jr.

First off, as someone who hadn’t paid Don Jr. much attention, I am aghast at how far the orange has fallen from the tree. Why would President Trump’s son, who is a successful businessman in his own right, be caught dead on Kimberly Guilfoyle’s arm? Why would a handsome Prince of the Realm be dating Gavin Newsom’s 50-year-old sloppy seconds? Kim Guilfoyle is a year older than Melania Trump, and unlike the First Lady, does not carry the Balkan genes which have made Barron Trump a giant among men, being a rather unstable combination of an Irish father and a Puerto Rican mother. And when she opens her mouth? Hell sounds like that, friends.

Okay, I get it. Sometimes you date down, especially after a tumultuous divorce. At the risk of turning Counter-Currents into a gossip mag, I’d wager that Kim Guilfoyle landed Donny boy on the rebound. In all likelihood, she’s a placeholder girlfriend until the usual Trump fare of models and actresses resumes.

But it boggles the mind as to why Don Jr. would drag this hectoring harpy to an official event and put her on the stage. While I recognize the utility of arm candy to signal status as an integral part of salesmanship and politicking, it was entirely unnecessary to go that far, whereas I can buy that a Poindexter like Jeff Bezos can lose his mind over a 50-year-old goblina. To learn that Don Jr. has gone loco over a quintagenarian señorita is to seriously entertain the possibility that our elites are incurably beta, even though they may be the honest to God sons of undisputed alphas.

Now, Don Jr. expected things to go swimmingly. After all, his buddy Charlie Kirk had shut down the Q and A so none of those meddling kids could get in the way of hawking his book, which is apparently about how liberals are triggered (so original, so incisive!). He was free to waltz in, leathery caliente mamacita in tow, deliver his boilerplate speech to applause, and waltz out – and that’d be the end.

But no, instead the crowd booed and chanted “Q&A.” Don Jr. and Charlie were stumped, and so it was up to Kimberly to save the day by lecturing the white men in the crowd about record black unemployment, record numbers of female-owned businesses, the Trump economy (which has left working and middle class whites wanting), and, of course, by condescendingly calling them incels.

Of note is that all three insisted on pretending that the booing and hissing crowd was a mob of Leftoids, when in fact they were Trump-supporting conservative young men.

After thirty minutes in front of a hostile crowd and Kimberly’s embarrassing harangue, the trembling trio retreated. Charlie Kirk, hoping to save Don Jr. embarrassment by terminating the session, somehow managed to launch a veritable deluge of excrement at an industrial-strength fan. Donnie boy had to limp away with his tail between his legs.

Now, Vincent James and Steve Franssen, who have emerged as groyper figureheads, have assured Don Jr. that the groypers are really after Charlie Kirk and that he caught shrapnel because he stood next to Charlie. This is partly true, but I won’t pretend that Don Jr. is blameless in his own embarrassment. After all, it was he, not Charlie Kirk, who brought Kim Guilfoyle onstage, and it was he who stood there like a non-entity while she insulted his father’s supporters and emasculated him in front of the whole world.

Nevertheless, it’s a good idea to give Don Jr. an opportunity to make a separate peace with the groypers even as Charlie is trampled under webbed feet, given that one of the acceptable forms of victory is replacing Conservative Inc. as the policymakers for the Trump administration. Kim’s gotta go, though. Hey, maybe Nick Fuentes can set Don Jr. up with Brittany Venti. E-girl or not, Donaeld Aetheling deserves better than La Bruja Hibernica.

The ball is now in Donald Trump’s court. The core of Charlie Kirk’s grift has been washed away. He has no victories to show, he has no mass following to fall back on, and his association with Don Jr. was not enough to protect him from the plague of frogs. Other grift-righters, neocons, and libertarians LARPing as conservatives will soon follow. The energy, sexy ideas, youth, and freshness are all on the side of the groypers. The bloated and turgid bulk of Conservative Inc., while massive in finance and institutional power, cannot match the nimbleness and ferocity of the groyper assault.

America First is the name of the game. An American nationalist movement has arisen to counter the conservative dog and pony show. If Orange Man chooses to side with American nationalists, he will be given an opportunity to remake the remains of the American empire into a nation. If, however, he chooses poorly, and hitches his wagon to Conservative Inc.’s train to oblivion, he will be devoured, chewed, and spat out by the swamp he set out to drain. Personnel is policy, and judging from those the Trump administration has chosen, their policy is the policy of Conservative Inc.

But this time, we’re going to have to see more than just nationalist rhetoric from the man himself. This time, we want to see muscular use of the Presidential pen to get things done, and even more importantly, an America First hiring policy within the administration itself. We want to see immigration restrictionists – not just for illegal immigration, but for legal immigration as well; sane purveyors of an actual America First foreign policy rather than neocons and Israel Firsters who want to drag the US into yet more wars; economic nationalists as opposed to the corporate stooges who want to staple green cards to diplomas; and policies which help the white working class instead of economic globalists who seek to plunder the commons for private profit.

Now, more than ever, it is time for Donald Trump to renounce the shills, grifters, and defeatists of the mainstream Right and side with the winners, truth-seekers, and triumphant frogs of American destiny. The future of America and the course of world history depend on this fateful choice.


  1. Exile
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 9:27 am | Permalink

    Great piece, brutal truths – Newsom’s used body pillow is older than Jr’s stepmom? Ouch. I’ve heard Jr. is the Jeb of Clan Trump, not seeing the lie yet.

    I don’t see how Trump puts enough red meat on my plate to make me vote for him again, though. He can Tweet and talk until he’s Jew in the face but I want tangible results before I get off this couch in Nov. 2020. I’m also seriously worried about lame-duck Trump delivering more Purim miracles for his boy Bibi if re-elected – especially war with Iran. Throw in Trump’s “Thatcher Effect” on White Nationalism and he’s got a huge unbuilt Wall to climb to change my mind, and less than a year to do it.

    • Rhodok
      Posted November 12, 2019 at 10:00 am | Permalink

      In a two party system, in a time of decline, you don’t vote ‘for’ something or someone, you vote ‘against’ something or someone.

      Unless of course you are resigned to let things take their course… which of course is unavoidable anyway, but like it or not, you are either (part of) the current or the flotsam

      • Claus Brinker
        Posted November 12, 2019 at 10:39 am | Permalink

        True. It’s a bitter thing to do, but in asking what the establishment and the deep state wants most out of the election, it is not another four years of Trump.

      • c matt
        Posted November 13, 2019 at 3:12 pm | Permalink

        Look at it this way, another four years of Trump is another four years of bickering and stalemates. Not always a bad thing.

  2. Claus Brinker
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 10:37 am | Permalink

    There’s a sinister irony in how Guilfoyle touts the Trump economy for boosting business ownership for women of color, which dispossesses white men from economic participation, and in practically the same breath mocks young white men for their supposed inability to find mates. The thing she supports clearly has a negative impact on white prosperity and creates the situation she uses as a point of mockery. Perhaps if more white men were flourishing with families they wouldn’t have time to shout down Don Jr. at his book event, but if Conservative Inc. fails to realize this, they will reap what they sowed.

  3. Zero
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 11:46 am | Permalink

    “First off, as someone who hadn’t paid Don Jr. much attention, I am aghast at how far the orange has fallen from the tree”. Idle speculation about family trees rarely adds much to the discussion, but I’ve had one or two suspicions about Ivana Zelníčk.

  4. Posted November 12, 2019 at 11:50 am | Permalink

    I love it! Great writing, and a scalpel wit.

    “La Bruja Hibernica;” outstanding!

    For those too young to remember, while it’s true KG was Newsom’s babe, (tainting her forevermore in my eyes), she was also a legit lingerie supermodel in her younger 20s.

    Allegedly, she paid her way through law school as a Victoria’s Secret catalog brassiere model . The interweb seems pretty well scrubbed of photographic evidence, however. Damnit.

  5. I Got Worked
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    While the groypers have their valid points and questions, there is a national election for president next year, and POTUS isn’t going to win it by suddenly heartily backing the groyper platform and throwing Kirk, Shapiro, etc to the dogs.

    There’s a finicky, skittish flock of sheeple in the middle ground of politics that need to get off their couches and vote next November, if POTUS is to be re-elected. That center group has been indoctrinated to believe the groyper crowd is nothing but scary Nazis/White Supremacists/Terrorists etc (you fill in the epithet).

    POTUS also is doing a dance to keep the Israel lobby happy so he can accomplish other promises – that’s how I see it. What has happened historically to those who stood up to and opposed the Tribe? They will have to be somehow appeased or Trump will be destroyed.

    • HamburgerToday
      Posted November 12, 2019 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

      I must respectfully disagree. The success of the Republican Party does not depend on women (even White women) or non-Whites or immigrants. It’s all there in the demographic data. What the GOP/Trump needs to do is stop trying to triangulate to pick up liberal-leaning independents but go hard for the White Male Vote, especially discouraged White voters who turned out in enough numbers to put Trump over the top in Blue Wall States. There is really no point in ‘winning’ if the net result is simply losing bigger later, and that’s what ‘more immigrants than ever before’ means. I might also add that a hard line on immigration may be the key to moving the needle on Black Male Voters, who neither identify with immigrants nor Hispanics.

      Trump has not completely failed on immigration restriction, it’s just that there a (((powerful forces))) arrayed against immigration restriction and they have been engaged in a full-court press to delay any efforts to limit immigration.

      Immigration restriction, however, is the one issue which plays well across a whole strata of demographics and was Trump’s positions on immigration that pushed him over the line.

      At some point, a political movement has to switch from triangulation/accommodation to galvanization by standing for at least one particular policy that your supporters feel strongly enough about to get out the vote (and open the wallets) but which alienates voters who are unlikely to vote for you anyway.

      If you are not familiar with the Sailer Strategy, it’s worth a look:

      • I Got Worked
        Posted November 12, 2019 at 3:53 pm | Permalink

        Voters of European descent still, stupidly, do not vote as a block. The 2016 election was very close on the votes in the flip/floppy states. Since the election we have had continued immigration, virtually none of it friendly to GOP. I think the Trump re-election campaign is focusing on picking up 20-30% each of black and hispanic vote in order to shut out the Dem candidate winning in key states. If he can add that to his base voters from 2016, he will win. I don’t know that you and I are fundamentally disagreeing on anything. Perhaps we are disagreeing on what strategy should be implemented for 2020. I predict Trump will hammer the immigration issue hard come debate time.

        • HamburgerToday
          Posted November 12, 2019 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

          I don’t see how he can live down the ‘more immigrants than ever before’ comment in the SOTN. Trump’s GOP establishment (GOPe) and Chamber of Commerce (CoC) enemies will be hammering him on this and it’s going to have an effect. These entities love mass immigration because it drives down wages and do not want a reset on trade, and on these things they prefer the Democrats’ positions. The GOPe are the same people who blocked him every which way for two years when the GOP held all the cards. And then there’s demographics. It’s not only the seemingly endless stream of foreigners entering the US, its also (as RAMZPAUL has pointed out), no one knows how many of the older GOP voters who help elect Trump have died or are now too sick to vote. The problem for Trump is that ‘taking a hard line’ on immigration just isn’t credible coming from him. He floated making a ‘deal’ with the Democrats if SCOTUS strikes down DACA. ‘4-D’ chess or not, that’s a WTF! moment (Ann Coulter has just blown a gasket about it). It’s moments like this were Trump’s ‘transactional’ approach to politics just results in confusion and, frankly, demoralization.

          • c matt
            Posted November 13, 2019 at 3:08 pm | Permalink

            The only palatable interpretation of that is if it was a calculated head fake to get the SCOTUS comfortable enough to strike down DACA believing some form of a deal will take its place, then – psych!! no deal!

            But I am not holding my breath.

    • FrenchRoyalist
      Posted November 13, 2019 at 3:53 am | Permalink

      @ I got worked :

      Say it like you mean it
      Bones become dust
      Gold turns to rust
      Say it like you mean it, Mmmm
      Underneath a spotlight
      And all the splintered wood
      Nothing here is shining
      Shining like it should, Mmmm
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      Tell me that you mean it
      Tell me that it’s true
      The last thing you do
      Tell me that you mean it
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I want it all or not at all
      Painful reckoning, reckoning
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all
      I’d rather watch my kingdom fall
      I want it all or not at all


      In a less poetic way, like Lady Ann, I give up with Trump.

      Orange Man Lies.

  6. John Wilkinson
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 1:12 pm | Permalink

    I watched Anglin’s stream of this while it was happening, and the biggest cringe moment was when Kimberly Guilfoyle stood up to shout down the Groypers.

    I was fixated on her hand gestures and mannerisms while she stood there. Her innate Puerto Rican hootchy-momma self was definitely being unleashed, and I half expected her to do that neck/head bobbing thing that they do when they’re being belligerent.

    ”oh uhuh oh no you dit’nt”

  7. HamburgerToday
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 2:29 pm | Permalink

    Wonderful essay. My only complaint: You didn’t get ‘harridan’ into the description Guilfoyle. It’s old-fashioned, I know. But, that’s a Boomer for you! Cheers!

  8. Eric Howard Hughes
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 6:55 pm | Permalink

    Now do a write up of the Florida Groypening

  9. Stealth Spaniel
    Posted November 12, 2019 at 8:48 pm | Permalink

    As for Don Jr. dating the esteemed Puerto Rican Former Fox Host, I figure that this is the year of the ugly old woman. Melania is a beautiful goddess, speaks multiple languages, extremely
    intelligent, and has produced a son out of Central Casting. Yet this woman is villified, belittled, and scorned for marrying her husband. Look at the horse faced Artiste that Keanu Reeves rode to a movie premier. People actually mistook her for Helen Mirren! So, blame it on the fact that young women have few examples of intelligent and gorgeous women who don’t need to turn into a man or free bleed their yoga pants to have a successful life filled with beauty, passion, and riches.

  10. Posted November 12, 2019 at 8:56 pm | Permalink

    trump will get my vote, accelerationism turbocharged, not voting is voting for whoever the communist scumbag happens to be. then they will have the entire apparatus giving them time
    a trump win will force them offsides. if its played right they’ll be put back fifty years.

  11. R_Moreland
    Posted November 13, 2019 at 12:47 am | Permalink

    Here’s a question which I would like to see asked of Charlie Kirk…“What exactly has TPUSA actually accomplished?”

    Has Turning Point USA rolled back any speech code or “diversity” program on a college campus? Or gotten any black studies department to renounce its own identity politics? Or provided some kind of alt-tech for conservative students who have been deplatformed? Or shifted the majority of third worlder graduates into card carrying Republicans?

    Look at all the resources which TPUSA has available: the high profile personalities, the funding lines, the media, the Beltway connections, and let’s not forget even more funding. Now just consider what the White Nationalist movement could do with but a fraction of all that.

    What Fuentes and the Groypers have demonstrated is how a small cadre, organizing via social media and using a “guerrilla” strategy, can shake up the entire System.

    Lots of lessons to be learned on this front.

    Stay tuned…

  12. Posted November 13, 2019 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    This was a fun article. More!

  13. Adolf Lever
    Posted November 13, 2019 at 2:12 pm | Permalink

    I think Donald Trump has other things on his mind (disrupted by impeachment) and that the groypers will see a mega boomer in him the next rallys

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