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Print June 21, 2017 22 comments

Courtesy to Women

Irmin Vinson

2,984 words

If a great and powerful ruler is riding his horse, and he comes upon a woman crossing the road, should he continue riding, or should he stop? If he continues riding, his horse may knock her over. If he stops, he will be acknowledging that she has rights that he is obliged to respect, despite his power.

The answer to this question in European societies is that the powerful ruler should stop. The answer in traditional Muslim societies appears to have been that he should continue riding. 

In 1665 the Turkish writer Evliya Celebi, the author of a lengthy travelogue, noted this cultural difference during a visit to Vienna: “In this country I saw an extraordinary spectacle. Whenever the emperor meets a woman in the street, if he is riding, he brings his horse to a standstill and lets her pass.” Evliya, despite his reputation today as a cultured humanist, found the emperor’s deference to a woman perplexing. He was surprised that the emperor had stopped his horse; he would not have been surprised if the emperor had continued riding, which would have forced the woman to scurry out of his way.

Evliya’s account continues:

If the emperor is on foot and meets a woman, he stands in a posture of politeness. The woman greets the emperor, who then takes his hat off his head to show respect for the woman. After the woman has passed, the emperor continues on his way. It is indeed an extraordinary spectacle. In this country and in general in the land of the unbelievers, women have the main say. They are honored and respected out of love for Mother Mary.

Evliya’s perplexed observations are quoted by the orientalist Bernard Lewis, who comments that he “was expressing a fairly normal Middle-Eastern response to the Austrian emperor’s normal courtesy to a lady, and clearly indicates that he himself would not have believed this improbable story had he not seen it with his own eyes.”

It is common in cross-cultural encounters that an observer from a strong, confident culture not only identifies differences but also ascribes those differences to defects within the culture he is observing. Significant differences from one’s own culture are commonly marked as aberrations from enlightened normality. That we eat the flesh of cows but not the flesh of dogs means, in our eyes, that societies in which dogs are consumed as food are in that respect aberrant and inferior. In the case of Muslim observations of Europe, one important feature of European Christendom that Muslims often marked as defectively aberrant was the high status of women. As Lewis remarks, “the status of women [was] probably the most profound single difference between the two civilizations.”

Muslim observers of European societies were shocked, Lewis writes, by “the incredible freedom and absurd deference” that European men accorded to women. Evliya located the source of male courtesy in Christian reverence for the Virgin Mary, because he felt compelled to arrive at some explanation for such curious behavior. As a Muslim monotheist, he found Catholic adoration of the Virgin strange and pagan, so he guessed that Christian idolatry surrounding Mary might account for the unmanly courtesy of European men toward women.

The emperor who removed his hat to show respect to women was Leopold I. In 1665 he was one of the most powerful men in the world, and to an observer from a Muslim culture governed by sharia law, it would naturally be surprising that so powerful a man would routinely remove his hat in the presence of any lady he chanced upon.

Since we see Emperor Leopold’s courtesy from our own Western perspective, it is less surprising. Lord Chesterfield, the eighteenth-century expert on etiquette, believed that “civility is particularly due to all women.” It was important that a gentleman be polite to everyone, but there was a special obligation of politeness owed by men to women. Until the arrival of modern feminism, that duty was recognized, though not always practiced, by all white men with any pretensions to civility.

From the courteous deference of men to women that he witnessed, Evliya Celebi mistakenly inferred that women somehow ruled Europe. In the 1590s the Venetian writer Moderata Fonte, in a fictional dialogue that argued (with much humor) for the superiority of women, had one of her female speakers interpret the same evidence in a similar way. The outward deference of men to women indicated their inward awareness of women’s superiority:

[Men] cannot help revealing in their behavior a part of what they feel in their hearts. For anyone can see that when a man meets a woman in the street, or when he has some cause to talk to a woman, some hidden compulsion immediately urges him to pay homage to her and bow, humbling himself as her inferior. And similarly at church, or at banquets, women are always given the best places, and men behave with deference and respect toward women even of a much lower social status.

The formal male courtesy that Evliya and Moderata were both relying on for their respective conclusions was the result, during much of our history, of a strong social pressure that encouraged white men to treat women with deference. A man’s willingness to be kind and deferential to women was a mark of his refinement, and a place in which such male courtesy was regularly practiced was in that respect better and more civilized than a place in which male courtesy was weak or absent.

By that standard, nineteenth-century Americans were especially civilized. Ida Pfeiffer, the Austrian author of two lengthy travelogues, reported in 1856 that American men were the most courteous of the menfolk that she had observed during her many travels: “the men, one and all, showed the utmost attention and politeness to our sex. Old or young, rich or poor, well or ill dressed, every woman was treated with respect and kindness.” Although the manners of Americans were at times deficient, the courtesy of American men toward women was “greater than I have ever seen in any other country. The commonest American boy of ten years old is in this respect equal to the most refined European gentleman.”

The practice of courtesy, as the name suggests, arose from social life in royal and aristocratic courts. Aristocratic courtesy toward women was viewed as a loving obligation that the physically stronger sex owed to the weaker. In the Middle Ages “love” and “courtesy” were so closely associated that they could be near synonyms. “One cannot be courteous unless one loves,” the poet Marie de France wrote in the late 1100s.

The model of manhood that this courtesy assumed was of a soldier/knight who was ferocious in battle but refined and deferential in the presence of women at court. The idea is just barely visible in Beowulf; it is the leading idea of the chivalric romances of the High Middle Ages; it is the explicit subject of Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso, which tells of “courtesies and brave deeds”; it is an important rule of civilized masculinity in Castiglione’s Courtier, which teaches that the courtier must “above all . . . pay respect and reverence to women”; and it had become formalized well before Evilya observed the emperor.

One of the remarkable facts of Western social history is that aristocratic courtesy, shaped at the highest levels of European culture, was steadily democratized and exported down social hierarchies, so that by the time Ida Pfeiffer arrived in an anti-aristocratic republic, which had through revolution dispensed with courts and courtiers, she could discover that “the commonest American boy” behaved toward women as a courteous emperor behaved toward women in Europe.

In 1665, the year Evliya Celebi observed the emperor’s strange behavior, an Ottoman Turk could reasonably have supposed that he belonged to history’s winning side, since the Islamic world appeared to be more materially successful than Christendom. Two decades later, the Austro-Hungarian empire, led by the same Leopold, helped win for Europe a great victory over Islam in the Battle of Vienna, and in the years that followed it became more difficult for a Muslim to believe in his own culture’s superiority and much easier for a European to believe that the folkways of Europe were not only different from those of Islam, but also clear indications of Europe’s superiority. Since differing views of women were clear markers of distinction between Europe and Islam, the decline of Islam and the rise of the West helped make the male courtesy that characterized the latter a sign of enlightened modernity and the subjugation of women a sign of its opposite.

In the late 1830s the English journalist John Longworth came across evidence of what he saw as Islam’s backwardness during a visit to Muslim Circassia in the Caucasus, which had become a flashpoint between the Russian and British empires. A prosperous Circassian family had allowed him to stay with them, and Longworth and his male companions soon found themselves trapped in a problem of cross-cultural etiquette. In Britain courtesy dictated that men should rise when a woman entered a room; the opposite was the case in Circassia. Women were expected to rise in the presence of men, and they were obliged to remain standing until the men had sat down: “the wife and daughter of our host . . . stood up to receive us; nor could they be induced to resume their seats until I had done violence to my European ideas of convenance [social propriety] by previously sitting down myself.”

In 1922 the famous Emily Post would formalize the relevant rule: “a gentleman always rises when a lady comes into a room. In public places men do not jump up for every strange woman who happens to approach. But if any woman addresses a remark to him, a gentleman at once rises to his feet as he answers her.”

Longworth soon learned that the operative Circassian social convention, which reversed this rule, did not apply only to a Muslim woman’s contacts with distinguished visitors from afar, but to any man she encountered: “It is a mark of respect which all women in Circassia owe, in his quality of creation’s lord, to the meanest drudge in their household; nor can they on any account be seated in his presence till his pleasure to that effect be made known to them.” The wife of Longworth’s host was a high-status woman, but she was nevertheless obliged to show feminine deference to all men, regardless of their status.

Evilya Celebi saw Emperor Leopold’s courteous respect for women as an unmanly result of Europe’s Marian idolatry; John Longworth saw the lack of respect for women in Circassia as evidence of Islamic backwardness. He had wanted to visit the ladies of the household, but his host assumed that he merely wanted to look at them: “in passing from the guest-house to the tenement occupied by his ‘womankind,’ the manner in which they were spoken of by our host led me almost to believe that we were going to his stables instead of his harem.” The social position of Circassian women was low, not much higher than prized horses, whereas Longworth belonged to a culture in which the position of women was high. That was clear evidence, in his eyes, of his culture’s greater degree of civilization. Longworth admired the Circassians, but he believed that in this respect they were uncivilized and primitive.

The old rule that a man should stand up to greet a woman is, perhaps, trivial. There is no obvious reason why the Circassian reversal of the Western rule should be deemed backward. A feminist would call Emily Post’s rule an instance of “gendered courtesy”; Circassian Muslims, a cultural relativist might claim, simply gendered their courtesy differently.

On the other hand, the gendered social rules that privileged Circassian men in their interactions with women also reflected non-trivial social realities. Circassian women were reputed to be very beautiful. They had some small claim to be the whitest of all Europeans, since Johann Blumenbach coined the racial category “Caucasian” in part on the physical basis of a Circassian woman’s finely proportioned skull. Because Circassian women were believed to be especially attractive, they were highly valuable as commodities in the Islamic world, where servile concubinage was an established institution. The Koran entitles a Muslim man to four wives and as many concubines as he can afford to purchase. For enterprising Muslim businessmen in Circassia, a profitable trade in their own countrywomen naturally followed, many of them being exported to Istanbul to adorn the harems of wealthy Ottoman Muslims.

Longworth noted how Circassian men consequently viewed their womenfolk as valuable livestock: “When you hear of their being so many hands high, and worth so many purses, you naturally conclude they are cattle that are spoken of.” In other words, the custom in Circassia that women should rise in the presence of men was not a rule of courtesy at all, but rather a symptom of the strong subordination of Circassian women. Women are less powerful than men, so women could be commodified.

Western rules of courtesy arose, and were democratized downward, in part because men and women so regularly interacted in social spaces. Hence Longworth’s expectation that he would visit the ladies of the household. Social interaction of men and women was less common in the Muslim world. The domestic rules of the Koran, as Sir William Muir noted in the 1880s, “exclude woman from her legitimate place and function in social life.” Muir, once regarded as a leading authority on Islamic history, saw the practice of exclusion and sexual segregation as the source of “the cheerless aspect of Muslim outdoor life, and the drear austerity of their social gatherings.” In any case, whether Muslim social life was drearily austere or not, the world of Islam did not offer cultural room for a Muslim Emily Post to formalize rules of courtesy that privileged women in their social interactions with men, or for a Muslim Moderata Fonte to argue for the superiority of her sex.

Moderata, though often called an early feminist, was a happily married mother of three children. She died giving birth to her fourth child the day after she completed her humorously polemical The Worth of Women. She had been encouraged in her writing by male family members, who clearly were not offended by her opinions, even though she voiced harsh criticism of men. As her uncle reported in a short biography, she valued her various writings, but valued domestic occupations, like needlework, even more. Despite her explicit misandry, she accepted as a bedrock assumption the biblical injunction that a wife should be a helpmate to her husband, and she never seriously challenged the anthropological truism that the family unit and the mother-child bond are basic organizing principles of any properly functioning society. Such challenges would arrive much later, with the advent of second-wave feminism.

Moderata’s Worth of Women was her contribution to ongoing sixteenth-century debates in Italy about what we once called “the battle of the sexes.” The recognition that a woman can have something of value to say on an important subject cannot be called a persistent Western trait, since it was far from omnipresent in our history. Lord Chesterfield believed that men should be especially courteous to women; he also believed that women’s minds are largely empty. But it was predictable that Europe, where the high status of women was often a fact of daily life, would be far more receptive to intellectual and artistic contributions from women than the Islamic world. In Western literary history the idea that a woman’s mind can be a suitable location to explore important moral issues can be found as far back as Sophocles’ Antigone; in the Norse Voluspa Odin seeks out a seeress to learn about Ragnarok, in keeping with the ancient pagan tradition that women are especially skilled at prophecy; in Western Christendom a woman could be a respected participant in an intellectual debate by at least the early 1400s. Moderata’s book, along with similar books written by women, was a natural development from a longstanding pattern.

It is common for defenders of the West to cite the high status of Western women, in contrast to the low status of Muslim women, as evidence of our civilization’s superiority. Aisha, Mohammed’s favorite wife, advised Muslim women, “if you knew the rights that your husbands have over you, every one of you would wipe the dust from her husband’s feet with her face.” John Longworth and Sir William Muir, along with everyone in the counter-jihad movement, would agree a marital system based on such a principle is primitive and inferior. It is, however, harder now than it was in the 1800s to assume reflexively that the high status of Western women is a cultural advantage and clear evidence of our enlightenment. Today any distinctively female political activity is likely to be racially and culturally destructive. That was not the case even a century ago, but it is now.

There cannot be much doubt that feminism, which aims to set half of our race against the other half, has profited from the long tradition in the West of male deference to women. Feminism has also profited, more significantly, from the association of women’s causes with enlightened modernity. The same assumptions that led John Longworth to believe that Muslim attitudes to women were evidence of backwardness also lead many in the West today to believe that feminist political victories are indications of moral and social progress. The feminist is a modern figure propelling the ascent of woman into the future; the anti-feminist, whether male or female, is a retrograde figure, attempting to hold back the inevitable movement of history. One of our best cultural features — the high status of women — has now become a dangerous liability. That will likely change, but at the moment the high status of Western women is at best a mixed blessing.

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etiquettefeminismIrmin Vinsonsex rolesthe Muslim questionwhite sharia

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« Let’s Drop the Big One

22 comments

  1. Michael Bell says:
    June 21, 2017 at 4:07 am

    As I read through the first half of this and even up to the last few paragraphs, I was worried you were counter-signalling White Sharia and trying to say that good White men defer to their women, LOL. Then I saw the picture of the pro-refugee whores and read your final paragraph, and my stomach knot went away.

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    1. Greg Johnson says:
      June 21, 2017 at 4:19 am

      Of course he is counter-signaling White Sharia.

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      1. Michael Bell says:
        June 21, 2017 at 6:13 am

        Well it seems as though he is saying that Europeans have always given women a more elevated place in society but that this type of behavior left us vulnerable to feminism. So perhaps in a future White ethno-state, it may be better not to continue with the usual JUST because muh Aryan ancestors did it?

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        1. Greg Johnson says:
          June 21, 2017 at 7:19 am

          I think it is pretty clear that we muddled along quite well before about 100 years ago, and given that, don’t you think that it is more reasonable to ask what went wrong then than to decide to scrap basically all of European gender relations before things took a turn for the worse?

          If you went to the emergency room with a bullet lodged in your heart, and your doctor recommended that you adopt a vegan diet, you might well retort that you were doing quite well actually eating meat right up until someone stepped out of the shadows and shot you.

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          1. Michael Bell says:
            June 21, 2017 at 8:12 am

            One could argue that an enemy (the Jew) appeared on the scene and exploited a weakness that we already had, no?

            I’m not calling for hijabs and genital mutilation, but Roman-style pater familias would be good

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          2. Greg Johnson says:
            June 21, 2017 at 8:14 am

            Sure, but nobody is bullet proof.

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          3. Michael Bell says:
            June 21, 2017 at 8:31 am

            What went wrong was that Ramses II let the Hebrews leave Egypt, when he should have put them all to the kopis and dumped them in the Nile.

            If I have to keep it to within the last hundred years though, I would say letting women vote was a big no-no.

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          4. Edward Clark says:
            June 22, 2017 at 12:24 pm

            Michael Bell, are you aware that black men could vote in this country before white women? The 14th amendment was written specifically to ensure that blacks would receive citizenship.

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        2. Irmin says:
          June 22, 2017 at 2:13 pm

          he is saying that Europeans have always given women a more elevated place in society but that this type of behavior left us vulnerable to feminism

          That’s right.

          White sharia is (in my opinion) the dumbest idea we have seen in a while, but I think it is important to acknowledge the truth in what others are saying, even if you don’t agree with their conclusions.

          Advocates of the white sharia meme are correct that female political behavior today is more destructive than male political behavior.

          My response would be that we are talking about differences in degree, not of kind. Most people, both men and women, do what the culture they inhabit tells them to do. Today our institutions and our media are in the hands of people who want to destroy us, and most of our people passively accept the bad instructions that institutions and media give them.

          Men are more likely to rebel against those instructions than women, so most racial nationalists are men, as are most members of the alt-lite. Since that is still a small percentage of the population even on the most optimistic estimate of our numbers, the charge that white women are especially responsible for our racial problems shouldn’t be taken seriously.

          Dr. Pierce once pointed out that our normal passivity can potentially be a good quality, so long as the people in control of institutions are aiming for society’s betterment. Obviously that is not the case today.

          Roman-style pater familias would be good

          You likely know this, but I’ll point out for anyone who doesn’t that early Rome is not a good historical case for advocates of white sharia to cite.

          Both sons and daughters in early Rome were under the despotism of the Roman father, so Rome was not then a “patriarchy” in the modern (feminist) corruption of the term. Early Roman “patriarchy” was rule by fathers (which is what the word once meant), not rule by men generally. Sons were likely even more disempowered than daughters.

          I would prefer, for example, that my father not be entitled to sell me into slavery, or to confiscate all of my income. Those are two of the powers that early Roman fathers were allowed to exercise over their sons.

          Our concepts have been so corrupted by feminism that early Republican Rome can become a model for a white sharia (“extreme male power”), which is far from accurate.

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  2. Ironsides says:
    June 21, 2017 at 8:39 am

    A dangerous weakness that was “hacked” by our racial enemies as soon as good communications (and consequent widespread propaganda) permitted them to do so.

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  3. Margot Metroland says:
    June 21, 2017 at 8:43 am

    This is a well written and enjoyable historical exploration of a nebulous subject, and does not attempt easy answers. It made me reflect on a peculiarity shared by the White Sharia boys and extremist feminists: their premise that “men” and “women” are two separate classes of beings, analogous to different races. But there is no self-perpetuating race of males or females; everybody is half-and-half in ancestry, and in progeny as well (if you’re lucky enough to have progeny, that is). So the race analogy doesn’t stand up. And the traditional courtesy shown in the West between the sexes is likely a sign of homage shown to one’s own people, naturally symbolized in the person of opposite sex. You can call it chivalry, though it’s a two-way street, even if the essay here only deals with one direction.

    If this is the case, then the debased relations attributed to Moslems may just be the result of what happens when you lack cultural/racial awareness. If you live in a deracinated mishmash, you don’t have much to base your identity on, besides the rude animal facts of your physical sex.

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    1. Carpenter says:
      June 21, 2017 at 9:13 am

      I think this is an excellent point.

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      1. nineofclubs says:
        June 22, 2017 at 1:05 am

        I agree. This is a perspective I hadn’t considered before – but it makes a lot of sense.

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    2. Threestars says:
      June 22, 2017 at 6:05 am

      I’ve been basically saying this for years. It’s obvious enough when you consider that one of the go-to “arguments” for a 3rd wave manospherist whining for your support is an analogy between women and non-whites.
      Virtually every 3rd wave manospherist I’ve argued with on the 504um and disqus said something on the lines “we can accept discrimination against jews and non-whites, why not throw women into the mix?” at one point or another. Its lack of value as a formal argument aside, this shows that these people don’t really posses and understanding of what Nationalism is. Jarring to say the least…

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    3. Magpie says:
      June 22, 2017 at 5:31 pm

      Well said and thoughtful furtherance of an interesting and important topic.

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  4. Carpenter says:
    June 21, 2017 at 9:11 am

    “Courtesy to women” isn’t entirely missing from Islamic cultures either, truth be told. I am told that in Jordan if a crowd gathers at a bus stop and the bus comes but it is not enough to take everyone the men will step aside and let the women go first. The men will have to wait for the next bus, even if it’s raining on them.

    And I do like to point out that sharia applies just as much to the sexual behavior of men as it does women.

    The “white sharia” meme is funny as drunken banter, but if people try to take it seriously it falls apart for its lack of truth and nuance in depicting both Western and Islamic cultures. A meme is only ever as useful as it is truthful. Memes are best when they can convey truth in a condensed, capsulated form and “white sharia” is too sloppy and confusing to do that.

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    1. Zeno says:
      June 21, 2017 at 12:29 pm

      Good observation. It is a fact that the Western tradition of courtly love, which originated in the Middle Ages, has strong roots in Islamic and Arabic mysticism. You can consult on this issue Denis de Rougemont’s classic Love in the Western World. Courtly love is to some extent an Islamic cultural importation which was allowed to grow on European soil partly because some of its elements were compatible with Christian (as well as some non-Christian ones) theological elements and native European cultural factors. Further, pre-Christian Western attitudes toward, and views of, women, were not too far from those of Islamic sharia; women had little to no public influence and lived under strict patriarchal laws – that is true at least for the Greek and Roman world (in traditional Germanic societies women had more freedom and a greater public role). Modern Western gynecocracy was made possible partly thanks to the combined influence of Christianity and Islamic cultural influences in the Middle Ages. That is not to say that we should or can simply strike out 2,000 years of history and go back to the Roman patria potestas overnight. At any rate, any return to, or push for, normalized relations between the sexes in the West will require a lot more than memes.

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      1. Irmin says:
        June 22, 2017 at 1:34 pm

        Courtly love is to some extent an Islamic cultural importation which was allowed to grow on European soil partly because some of its elements were compatible with Christian (as well as some non-Christian ones) theological elements and native European cultural factors.

        This is debatable. “Cultural importation” is a respectable explanation — that is, real scholars have argued for it — but there are more convincing explanations as well. The influence of neoplatonism works much better, for example.

        In any case, “Islamic” is misleading, since no serious scholar argues that patterns of behavior derived from the Koran led to European courtly love. They mean that pre-Islamic ideas from North Africa may have made their way into Europe.

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    2. Ben says:
      June 24, 2017 at 12:57 pm

      If you tell them that at the daily stormer they will call you a butthurt pussy cuck faggot with low t.

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  5. Joshua says:
    June 21, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    The lack of deference to women in Islam may be because inbreeding has left Muslims with populations of very ugly men and women. Humans are hard-wired to care for those who are cute, such as little kids, and genetically healthy women exhibit enough neoteny to elicit a caring response from men. But Muslim women for the most part look like ugly men, and so man’s natural instinct to treat them with care has gone haywire.

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    1. Irmin says:
      June 22, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Muslim women for the most part look like ugly men

      That may be so. But we often forget that under strict sharia unmarried men rarely see uncovered women, which is very strange. So if the average Muslim woman is indeed ugly, a large number of men in traditional Muslim societies wouldn’t know it.

      An adolescent Muslim male under strict sharia knows what his mother looks like and what his sisters look like. But he has little idea of what the girl down the street looks like. He doesn’t see her face. He doesn’t see the shape of her body.

      A normal adolescent male in the West discovers, at some point, that female bodies are sexually attractive, because he sees female bodies every day. That experience was largely removed by Mohammed from Muslim life, with very weird results that can be found in places like Afghanistan today.

      Mohammed didn’t want to create societies in which heterosexual men lust after (and sodomize) young boys mimicking women, but Islamic law — if strictly enforced — could have that unintended consequence.

      In his book on the Caliphate, William Muir has some interesting pages on the disappearance of visible women from public spaces in the Muslim societies that Mohammed and his immediate successors created.

      Ladies no longer appeared in public excepting as they flitted along shrouded beneath “the veil.” The light and grace, the charm and delicacy, hitherto imparted by their presence to Arab society were gone; the softness, brightness, and warmth of nature, so beautifully portrayed in ancient Arab song, were chilled and overcast.

      This is, of course, Victorian language that may sound odd to us, but it captures well that Islam is a weird social experiment, unnatural from the outset, that ended up going badly wrong, as we see in the daily explosions of Muslim violence today.

      Obviously no racial nationalist should talk about a white version of sharia, whether ironically or not.

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  6. Magpie says:
    June 22, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Just a point of information as we compare politcal attitudes ancient and modern, the 89th US Congress, famous for the passage of the Hart-Cellar ticking time bomb, had 12 women members, less than 3% of that body.

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