Thanks, Liberals, For Making This So Much Easier

2,019 words

Let me count the ways:

1. We don’t have to try to be fair anymore

For many years I have been consumed by righteous indignation and thrown many a time into high dudgeon over the intolerance of liberals, especially on our college campuses.Far from being book-burning, speech-suppressing Nazis, our people are genuinely fair-minded and willing to give the other side a hearing. When given a position of some influence over a campus speakers’ organization (years ago), I strove to present both sides of issues. Thanks, liberals, for liberating me from my naïveté.

Finally, completely, and absolutely you have demonstrated to the world that you are irredeemable scoundrels. You are not just liars, you are one hundred percent pure lie, with no additives: you don’t deceive yourselves, you know that your lies are lies, and you don’t care. Exposed, driven into the corners of your safe spaces, you bare your teeth and your breasts and perspire beneath your pussy hats, seething with a ressentiment that would make Nietzsche blush. Truly, he was right – though I suspect you could teach him a thing or two. And so was Ayn: you are “plain, naked, smirking evil.”

Finally I see it: nothing is to be gained by arguing with you or attempting to treat you fairly. I have been a sucker, a rube, a maroon, a useful idiot. You liberals simply must be destroyed. Your ideas must be suppressed. You must be driven from public life. We simply have to shut you down with complete and total, cold and heartless ruthlessness. We can’t even afford to show any mercy to your kids. After all, this stuff is probably genetic (years ago I coined the term “congenitally liberal” to refer to those you can tell are liberal based on their physiognomy). We will, however, take good care of your cats and dogs – who are a helluva lot smarter and cleaner than you are.

Now I know what Hitler meant when he said, toward the end, “One always regrets being too kind.” So instead of trying to demonstrate to liberals and to the world how superior I am through my noble, Nordic sense of fair play, I will instead demonstrate how superior I am through my noble, Nordic berserker fury.

2. We don’t have to go home for Thanksgiving anymore

The annual ordeal. Dry, overcooked turkey. That awful sweet potato and marshmallow mush. Screaming kids. The roaring fire, though it’s still fifty degrees outside. The presumption you’d never take from non-relations that always shocks you when you see relatives again (“You’ve aged a lot!”). And, worst of all, the stupidity and numbing conformity. The in-law who lets her kids dress like whiggers. The kids glued to their iPhones. The parents who are oblivious to the fact that CNN has an agenda. The same parents who ate dinner for years in front of reruns of M*A*S*H and never cottoned on to what a colossal, liberal anus tart Alan Alda is. The cousin who says “wassup?!” Faced with these fruits of our family tree, who wouldn’t want to spend a few hours committing carbicide?

But those were the good old days. That was Thanksgiving 2015. Now we must endure the in-law who worries that Trump will start World War Three. The kids who think that Trump is Hitler. The cousin who thinks that taking everyone from everywhere was the “founding principle” of the nation (has he seen the 1790 Naturalization Act?). The other cousin who tells us that “diversity is our strength,” in a tone that suggests he coined the phrase himself. The father who voted for Hillary because he doesn’t like Trump’s hair (yes, that was my father’s actual reason). The sister who voted for Hillary just because she’s a she. The mother who thinks that “Russia hacked the election” (telling us this as if it is her own personal theory).

But, worst of all: the stunned silence when, having had enough, we inform them all that we voted for Trump, while staring (oddly enough) not at any of their faces but at the gaping rectum of the turkey in the center of the table. If we had confessed to being epic, serial child murderers, the news would probably have been better received.

Something dies inside us in that moment.

Praise be, Divine Providence! Praise be, Electoral College! We now have the perfect excuse to finally cut all these losers off. Genes or no genes. At least until they come to their senses.

3. We don’t have to be torn any longer about their shitty music, movies, TV shows, books, etc.

You can’t get away from the fact that almost everybody in the entertainment industry, and in “literature” is a flaming liberal. Yet, in the past I have managed to enjoy many films, TV shows, and other products put out by these folks. I was always torn: I knew that George Clooney was wet, but I enjoyed the films he made with the Coen brothers. But now that George has gone full retard, I can’t stand the sight of him. I will never spend another nickel or another minute watching anything with him in it.

Ditto Sally Field and Meryl Streep, especially the latter. Good actresses? You bet. But now it’s impossible to suspend my disbelief. Now when I see their work, I only see Field and Streep. I only see two batshit-crazy Leftists. And so I never want to see them again. Ditto Madonna. Yes, I actually like some of her music. Now I can never listen to it again without feeling like I need a thorough bath and a shot of penicillin.

I could go on and on, as you can imagine. I had always thought that it might be interesting to read Philip Roth (if only for the psychological insights). But now the decrepit Roth, hands withered from years of self-abuse, has warned us that Trump could bring on “the nuclear catastrophe.” Of all the dumb accusations against Trump, this one has to be the dumbest. So I can cross this guy off my list. (I know, I know, so don’t bother saying it: he shouldn’t have been on my list to begin with.)

It has been one of my goals for a long time to prune from my life all the things that are wasting the minutes and hours that I have left to me. All the so-so books, movies, music, and TV shows. Thanks, liberals, for making it so much easier!

4. We now know who our real friends are

It’s not just family who are giving me the cold shoulder, it’s “friends.” And given how problematic my family is, I tend to value friends more. (As for those of you with wonderful, supportive families, God bless you.) For years I have counted as “friends” people with whom I knew I could never share my most sincere, cherished convictions. Some of them kinda know about me. But it’s weird: all the evidence is in front of them, but they just won’t put 2 and 2 together. Some simply seem to impute to me beliefs that they hold, simply because they like me.

With these particular people there didn’t seem any point in trying to convert them, and certainly no point in upsetting them. And some of them are people I have had to work with in the past. (All my readers know what this is like.) For the most part, I liked them because they liked me. And they had certain virtues, such as liking me. I accepted them as they were and saw no reason to upset them by revealing myself in my full majesty. Essentially, I saw these “friends” as children, and even felt a bit sorry for them.

No longer, my friends. And I call you that because, indeed, my only real friends are those with whom I do not have to hide myself – those who share my most sincere, cherished convictions. Some of my alleged “friends” are now showing their true colors. Trump has really pushed a lot of people over the edge – and I mean both the pro- and anti-Trump crowds. The Left, of course, has completely lost its mind, as I predicted. Thus, those “friends” who knew vaguely of my “conservatism” but tried not to think about it are suddenly incapable of performing these mental gymnastics any longer. And for my part, I am suddenly unable to contain any longer the contempt and disgust I feel for their lies, their hypocrisy, their ressentiment, and – perhaps worst of all – their complete and utter failure to think critically, objectively, and fairly.

We have reached the tipping point, folks. And the days of “friends” are over. My affection for these folks has dried up. But I am prepared to show them one remaining act of kindness: I will allow them to feel the ecstasy of ideological vindication when I finally do what they’ve been predicting all along and send them off to the camps.

Thank you. Now it’s easy. So easy.

5. We hardly have to lift a finger . . . . .

Trump isn’t a racist, and he isn’t a sexist, and he isn’t a fascist. I mean, nobody’s perfect. He’s just the best we’re going to get. But in branding him and his supporters racist, sexist, and fascist, the liberals are actually doing us a huge favor. You see, Trump’s policies are utterly reasonable, and will almost certainly result in ordinary Americans feeling a greater sense of security, and enjoying greater economic opportunity. Trump’s policies are going to work, and he is going to be an extremely popular president. SO . . . If all of this is “racist/sexist/fascist,” the result is going to be that a lot of decent and honest Americans are going to start asking, “What’s so bad about racism, sexism, and fascism?”

Now, that’s not you. You are too precise a thinker to make that move. No, you will correctly respond that in fact Trump’s policies are not racist/sexist/fascist. But put yourself in the place of the honest but non-brilliant boobouisie. They’d be hard pressed to define any of these terms, given two hours and a stack of bluebooks. It is very likely that they will take Leftists at their word (they are professors, after all, aren’t they?) and assume that, yeah, this is what racism, sexism, and fascism look like. And they will ask: is this so bad?

Friends, we are actually going to start seeing ordinary people owning terms like “racism.” The liberals have forced a situation where decent, semi-intelligent people are going to start really thinking about things like racial differences, and asking whether it isn’t the case that a whole lot of claims that get labeled “racist” aren’t really true. And here’s the difference a year makes: they won’t just think this, they are going to start saying it. In short, the Left’s full-retard, batshit crazy antics and robotically repeated buzzwords and accusations are the cunning of reason. They are doing us a tremendous favor.

As so many have already pointed out, the Left is self-destructing. Sane people are recoiling from all the liberal excess – the riots, the PC witch hunts, the transgender madness, the six million Holocaust movies, the Black Astronauts, the airhead celebrities who can’t shut up, the deliberate lies about illegal alien crime, the championing of “refugees” while veterans sleep in our streets, the call for open borders when our own people can’t find work, the bizarre defense of Islam by feminists, and the pussy hats. I sincerely believe that the pussy hats pushed a lot of people over the edge.

With enemies like these, who needs friends? The Left is doing our work for us. So much so that I fear for my future. I fear I may become like one of those aging superheroes who is put out of work because the Super Criminals are all in jail. What do I do then? Flip burgers, like Hugh Akston?

Thanks, liberals, for making this so much easier.

Charles Ives used to surprise visitors by playing one of his compositions on the piano and then saying, “Why don’t you add something?” Seriously, why don’t you? How else have liberals made this easier?