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Top 9 Charlie Hebdo Conspiracy Theories

FalseFlag1,626 words

1. Attackers had blue eyes.

This rumor would imply that the killers were in fact special forces and that the Kouachi Brothers were patsies. It’s only source seems to be with Caroline Fourest, a writer and television personality with a history of false reporting, defamation, and plagiarism. She often refers to anonymous sources who confirm her contentions that all religious people are evil, particularly white men. 

Shortly after the attack she said, “there is a young journalist, a young contributor to Charlie Hebdo who had a Kalishnikov pointed at her nose and told recite the Koran and I’ll spare you. Then she started reciting lines over and over and he said you have very pretty blue eyes he told me that or very pretty eyes, I forget.”

Conspiracy theorist promoting this line cut the clip after “blue eyes.” Because Fourest runs through the sentence very quickly, and because of written cues and preparation before the clip, “he said” becomes “she said,” which means the attacker was not a Kouachi.

Furthermore, she seems to be embellishing the story of the employee who let the Kouachis inside. This employee testified being told, “I will let you live so that one day you may read the Koran.”

There was similar confusion over the first stage of the Mohammed Merah attacks and unverified claims in the media that the attacker had blue eyes. One wonders if that had anything to do with the upcoming Presidential election and rising popularity of Marine Le Pen.

2. The Kouachis shot blanks at the police.

This rumor is based on the armchair forensic analysis of the video of the cop being murdered on the sidewalk. There is no sight of blood after 5 seconds, and there is a puff of dust on the sidewalk when the kill shot is given. The interpretation of these conspiracy theorists is that the bullet hit the sidewalk and the cop was playing dead or that the attackers were shooting blanks.

What we can determine is that this was not a headshot, nor does it seem that the heart or an artery was hit. The visuals are consistent with a shot that would immobilize the victim and eventually be fatal. A live round hitting the pavement would have created debris (there is none in the video).

If this was a blank being fired, are they suggesting that only the cop faked his death and that all of the employees were killed with live rounds? Or have all of them decided to cut links with their family and friends to disappear and assume new identities for the sake of a false flag attack that has no clear return address? Either these theorists (like StormCloudsGathering) are too stupid to understand the implications of this detail, or their goal is disinformation.

3. The attackers’ vehicle had white rear view mirrors, whereas the Kouachis vehicle did not.

The Kouachis did put some forethought into their escape (though their planning was not perfect). It is common practice to cover new cars being delivered to a dealership and cars that have just been detailed with white plastic over spots likely to get spoiled. The rear view mirrors were likely covered with this plastic, which they later removed in order to slow down the police investigation.

However, readers should note that is in fact possible to change the entire color of a car in minutes. The process is called Plastidip. It is sprayed on the car like a regular paint (often with a distinctive matte finish, but not always). Here is a demonstration of how it is removed (

The Kouachi Brothers undoubtedly studied the Mohammed Merah attacks. Merah painted his helmet and changed the appearance of his scooter in between murdering the paratroopers and the victims at the Jewish day school.

4. Kouachis left behind an ID card, reminiscent of the passport at the WTC.

One of the most ridiculous aspects of the WTC attack was the discovery of an intact passport belonging to a hijacker which was supposedly found in the rubble soon after the attacks. This is another detail that makes this seem like a frame up of patsies who were not involved in the attacks.

In looking at the Kouachi attacks it is clear that they are neither total pros nor total bumblers. It seems like they were comfortable handling their weapons and achieved their objective, but they also went to the wrong address at first and then had a shoe fall out of the car which was retrieved because they planned on changing from their tactical gear into civilian clothes. Also, it was the brother who seems to have received less training who left behind his wallet with IDs in his tactical clothes after he changed out of them.

5. The Jews did it.

While simply answering the question “who benefits?” may be enough in Cairo and Beirut to conclude an investigation, we ought to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

The State of Israel has certainly carried out Black Terror attacks in the past, even those that ostensibly targeted Jews. In my article on “Jewish Demographic Destiny,” I predicted that Israel would carry out Black Terror attacks in France, which I believe came true near Gare du Nord in March 2014.

However, a common theme in Mossad Black Terror plots (both those admitted and those alleged by professional analysts) is that they never plan on killing Jews. At least 7 Jews can be counted amongst the victims at Charlie Hebdo and HyperCacher. That is already more than the number of Israeli citizens who died in the WTC attacks.

As Israel craves citizen-soldiers and Netanyahu needs to shore up support before his upcoming election, they definitely benefit, but no serious person can believe they are behind the attacks.

6. Marine Le Pen did it.

There are several versions of this floating around that either the FN alone, the Gladio stay-behind armies, or a combination of the Gladio paramilitaries and the Mossad (!?) carried out the attacks. This trades on the same “who benefits” logic mentioned above.

The guys who carried out the Strategy of Tension are either very old or already dead. They were also the useful idiots of the DC government in Europe. If this really was a Gladio operation though, wouldn’t they rather have Russophone Ukrainian separatists as the culprits, since containing Russia is the higher priority of NATO right now? Would the attackers at least have strongly agreed on who they work for based on whether the oligarchs want to invade Syria or Yemen?

7. ISIS or Al Qaeda is behind this.

This is basically the official story. However, this explanation has problems of its own. The Kouachi Brothers, who attacked Charlie Hebdo, and Coulibaly, who attacked HyperCacher, claimed that they were fighting on behalf of Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (Yemen) and the Islamic State (Syria/Iraq), respectively. To multiply the confusion about two masters, as it turns out Al Qaeda and IS have broken their alliance (just as Al Qaeda had earlier broken with al Zarqawi).

One of the Kouachi brothers spent time in Yemen several years ago, and there have been reports that they may have made a recent trip to Syria, though details remain scant.

They may have briefly met someone in the Middle East with links to either jihadist organization, but what is beyond a doubt is that their mentor and trainer was Djamel Beghal, a veteran of Algerian jihadism, dating back to the ’90s. Chérif Kouachi and Amedy Coulibaly were in jail with him, and they visited him regularly after he was released to the pastoral landscapes of Cantal.

The three attackers put in a great deal of effort and planning to coordinate attacks with each other, but they couldn’t get their story straight on who they worked for.

8. Lassana Bathily is a “Righteous among the Ummah” who saved the lives of many Jews . . . or not.

Lassana recounted his story to the press that he was working in the basement of HyperCacher when several patrons came down to escape the terrrorist attack. He huddled them into the fridge and turned off the light and the refrigeration before going upstairs to convince the killer not to go downstairs.

The only problem is that he is not even mentioned in the stories of three survivors which were recounted in the Israeli Press from Rudy Haddad, Mickael B., and Yohan Derai and on Europe 1 Radio by Sophie. These accounts have their own variations and technical problems (were the freezers left on or not, did a baby really stay in a freezer at -10 C for 5 hours without getting frostbite, etc.?). But it is clear that Coulibaly did not intend to kill all of his hostages, and Lassana did not save them. Coulibaly killed three initially and only killed a fourth when a hostage tried to grab a gun.

9. The strange end of Coulibaly

The end of the hostage crisis at HyperCacher is the strangest part of this whole affair. In the video, the swat team seems to take no defensive measures while shooting into the store, one of the swat team runs in alone when they knew there were booby-trap bombs inside, the swat team appear to shoot in the direction of each other when Coulibaly jumps out the door, and finally (this must be seen to be believed) Coulibaly appears to be handcuffed when he runs out the door. I am at a loss to explain any of this and invite any expert to explain these bizarre elements.

Amedy Coulibaly abattu les mains menottées ? by zapataguevara

The version shown on television does not include the frames which appear to show Coulibaly’s handcuffed arms:

Exclusif France 2 : les images du face-à-face… by francetvinfo

Please stay tuned for the Top Ten Hypocrisies of Free Expression in France


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  1. James O'Meara
    Posted January 16, 2015 at 5:23 pm | Permalink

    Based on past operations — going back to Operation Gladio — the killers are pros, leaving behind the IDs of the patsies, who conveniently wind up dead and telling no tales. One slip up: the guy who gave himself up when he heard he was a suspect on social media. Why? So as not to wind up dead. We’ll see if they get him like they did Yockey.

    The problem with all these theories is that this is really work for historians — what “really” happened. The immediate problem is: whether or not it’s a false flag, whoever “really” did it, or let it happen, the reaction of the govt. Notice that when a ferry sinks and 150 drown, nothing happens? Shoot some cartoonists, and 10,000 troops appear out of nowhere. The govt always uses these incidents to clamp down further/harder. If we could get a grip on that, these incidents would just be par for the course.

    “One little mayor gets killed and everyone loses their minds!” — T. Joker.

  2. Lew
    Posted January 16, 2015 at 7:39 pm | Permalink

    My operating hypothesis is that Jews are responsible for a lot of the truly insane conspiracy theory commentaries in our field. Some of it could be coming from western intelligence agencies or just plain old anti-white trolls. A lot of things get accomplished at once. Conspiracy theories side-track analysis, derail threads, take people off message, spread disinformation, make our side look retarded by reinforcing enemy caricatures and also — this is important — discredit the very idea of the false flag. Constantly crying “false flag” with weak or no backing for the claims ensures few people will be willing to take a fresh look at the evidence if there ever is a legitimate false flag. That’s a lot of gain for relatively little pain in terms of effort needed by groups always working to poison discussion anyway.

    • S Fowler
      Posted January 17, 2015 at 12:06 am | Permalink

      The term “conspiracy theory” is meant to discredit those who question an incident that has high potential for being a false flag. Even when the “theory” is fleshed out with evidence that contradicts the official story the one who presents those contradictions is maligned as a conspiracy theorist. The public is at a disadvantage in trying to understand what happened and why because the scene is controlled, the media is controlled, the investigation is controlled, and the evidence classified. We should take heart that people are waking up to the manipulation. The trajectory is from finding contradictions to asking why and who. The false flag is always used to pit one’s enemies against one another. It makes a big difference whether or not 9/11, 7/7, 3/11, and Charlie Hebdo are Muslim actions or false flag attacks. We shouldn’t let this dispute divide white people into “serious analysts” and “retards”.

      • Lew
        Posted January 17, 2015 at 10:07 pm | Permalink

        I agree with you to a point. I’m not endorsing leftist-style abuse of the conspiracy label. Rather, my point is that claiming something is a Jewish “false flag” without good evidence serves Jewish interests. Jews love to claim they are unfairly persecuted. Thus, whenever people make unfounded accusations against the Jews, it helps their narrative. It’s one reason I believe, again, a lot of this conspiracy talk comes from trolls.

        Can I ask what specific advantages do you feel Jews gained that they didn’t have the day, week or month before the Hebdo attack?

        • Verlis
          Posted January 18, 2015 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

          Can I ask what specific advantages do you feel Jews gained that they didn’t have the day, week or month before the Hebdo attack?

          That’s a bit like asking: What do you mean you’re hungry? You already ate last week!

          But I agree with everything else you said about conspiracy-mongering.

    • Carl
      Posted January 17, 2015 at 6:22 pm | Permalink

      “Constantly crying “false flag…””

      I agree, this whole thing strikes me as Moslems behaving normally. What conspiracy other than Moslems conspired to do terrorism? Situation normal.

  3. Robert Pinkerton
    Posted January 17, 2015 at 5:46 am | Permalink

    Would it be accurate to characterize Charlie Hebdo as a left-wing anti-religious “Der Sturmer“?

  4. John M.
    Posted January 17, 2015 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

    “Liberalism is a disease whose first symptom is an inability to believe in conspiracies.”
    Friedrich Wilhelm IV (1795-1861)

    So sourced WGS in “Which Way Western Man”.

    The biggest “flag” for me with this whole affair was the strange fact that the European leadership corps was able to organize a march surrounded by masses of people in so short a time period after a “major” terror attack…in less than two days! They easily strolled amongst the multitude with only a double cordon of police, seemingly without fear of being swamped by a million fellow marchers or a possible terror strike…”unprecedented numbers” according to the mainstream media. Among them appeared little Bibi , paranoid dictator of Zion, the man who warns the west daily of all these threats to the “free” world. I thought that maybe the secret police of France allowed a little terror strike to occur which they already knew about for the benefit of the “unity march” they had already planned in advance…how do they account for such streamlined security in les than 2 days time? Any thoughts on this?

    • Greg Johnson
      Posted January 17, 2015 at 7:36 pm | Permalink

      The leaders did not march with the masses. That was a staged photo op. I think you are over-estimating the logistical difficulties and underestimating the ability of the French state to organize media events. If this was planned a long time in advance, then the many hundreds or even thousands of people who were involved with the planning and execution of that march would have had to have been informed well in advance. And if that were true, surely someone will squeal about it soon enough. “Six months ago, Hollande told me to pencil in a national unity march after a terrorist attack.” Not very likely.

  5. Jaego
    Posted January 17, 2015 at 10:16 pm | Permalink

    No Conspiracy Theory could be stranger than the actual situation: millions of Muslims were invited in to France and tens of millions into Western Europe. The response to their criminality, welfare abuse, and terrorism is to allow even more of them in. If we could awaken people to the utter absurdity of these facts, the rest would fall in to place.

    • Patrick Le Brun
      Posted January 18, 2015 at 4:20 pm | Permalink

      Good point Jaego, truth is stranger than fiction.

      The process you speak of is well under way in Europe.

    • Lew
      Posted January 18, 2015 at 9:34 pm | Permalink

      No Conspiracy Theory could be stranger than the actual situation: millions of Muslims were invited in to France and tens of millions into Western Europe. The response to their criminality, welfare abuse, and terrorism is to allow even more of them in.

      The difference between the situation you describe and these Charlie Hebdo conjecture is that the former events are happening out in the open, and are independently verifiable by anyone. Perhaps you didn’t mean to suggest otherwise.

  6. Peltast
    Posted January 18, 2015 at 12:06 am | Permalink

    A anti-terror operation happened in Belgium recently where two terrorist are said to have been killed, interestingly one of them faked his own death in Syria and entered in Europe without been noticed:

    The ‘Strategy of Tension’ is alive and well Mr. Lebrun, Sarkozy was only elected President in 2007 thanks to the 2005 Race Riots that he instigated as the acting Minister of the Interior at the time. This is the same logic of a Multicultural Europe, divide and rule, each community fearing and hating the other.

    The jewish neocon “reporter” Anne Applebaum recently revelead that the Front National and other nationalist European parties have ties to Putin and Russia, this was a calculated move, International Jewry wants to associate all European patriots with Hitler 3.0 (their vision of Putin).

    • Patrick Le Brun
      Posted January 18, 2015 at 4:38 pm | Permalink

      That is a very interesting story from Belgium.

      You are right about Sarkozy’s rise in popularity following the race riots. He essentially did the same thing that Ariel Sharon accomplished by climbing the Temple Mount to spark tension before his run to become Prime Minister as a “Law and Order” candidate. To make a distinction/clarification, when I referred to Gladio I meant to specify the unreformed fascists who bombed civilians at the orders of NATO in a black terror campaign that successfully disrupted the electoral chances of Communist Parties in the target countries. These same streetfighters and terrorists were intended to form a core stay-behind army in the case of Soviet invasion. Their job would have been sabotage and insurgency. Luckily, those services were never needed.

      After the fall of the Soviet Union, and especially with the War in Yugoslavia, US intelligence had pivoted its support for these kinds of activities to Jihadists in the Balkans and Caucusus, and tried to put the Gladio men out to pasture. The only veterans of the P2 Lodge who had continuing relevance were bourgeois oligarchs like Silvio Berlusconi.

      • Peltast
        Posted January 19, 2015 at 12:53 pm | Permalink

        This jewish author has the same argument that you use Mr. le Brun:

        “A trap set by many authorities and on many levels, articulated and coordinated in advance. Since Sharon’s provocations at the Al Aqsa mosque which set off the Second Intifada in 2000, the Israeli government decided that France, where the most significant Jewish community in Europe lives, was to be a key and essential political tool. Who would execute its policies on the ground? The Israeli embassy, the Jewish Agency and the CRIF, the apparently representative council of Jewish institutions of French Jews. Its policies consist in recruiting all French Jews to an unconditional support for all the actions of the Israeli government, even the worst of them. The CRIF was to impose a uniform vision, that of a totally homogenous Jewish community united around a faultless Zionism and of a unnuanced support for the acts of the regime.”

  7. Greg Johnson
    Posted January 19, 2015 at 11:04 am | Permalink

    They are reporting that because, of course, it make Le Pen look bad.

  8. It is I only
    Posted January 21, 2015 at 5:45 pm | Permalink

    Faut rigoler, faut rigoler
    Avant qu’le ciel nous tomb’ sur la tête
    Faut rigoler, faut rigoler
    Pour empêcher le ciel de tomber

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